Apr 19, 2016
My relationship with spiders: A summary
Spider: *hanging by thread*
Me: (chanting) fall, fall, fall
Spider: *falls*
Me: AHHH I DIDN’T MEAN IT
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My relationship with spiders: A summary
Spider: *hanging by thread*
Me: (chanting) fall, fall, fall
Spider: *falls*
Me: AHHH I DIDN’T MEAN IT
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There are also ducks invading my parents pool in Phoenix. They poop in the pool and all over the deck and it's impossible to clean up. My dad's way of dealing with them is go out there, half-naked, in the morning and scream at them. I don't think it's having much of a lasting effect. They bought an inflatable swan, thinking that that might scare them away. I have a feeling their gonna end up playing with it or something.
Me: There are two ducks and their babies living the fountain next to my building.
Me: I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS
Mel: Dude, Im with you on this. I was on a bike ride, and stopped to admire some baby geese and the fucking father/mother curled its neck in some demonic way and started hissing at me.
Mel: I've never biked so hard in my life.
Me: I'm laughing at the image of you biking furiously away from geese
Me: In my mind, you're going up a hill
Me: And wearing sandals and a sun dress for some reason
Mel: I was so scared. I knew my boyfriend wouldn't help me fend off a goose.
Me: I don't think Captain America himself would help you fend off a goose
Due to some unforeseen circumstances (a spider), I will be spending the night in my cocoon-style sleeping bag.
Silence of the Lambs...
Holy freakin’ BEJEEBUS, I cannot stand moths. Watching this movie freaks me out on all kinds of levels…excellent movie, though. But seriously, if I’d been cast in that film I would have asked for an extra million or two up front – NO LIE – to do the scene in the basement in the dark with all those fat, furry, winged bodies flapping around. No way.
Actually, I don’t think that would be enough. I think I’d need five or six or ten million to do it. My skin’s crawling just thinking about it. Excuse me while I go have a breakdown…
Edited to add, from the credits:
Moth wrangler and stylist…Raymond A. Mendez
Moth wrangler job: DO NOT WANT. Moth stylist? Weh??? OMG
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I hate mosquitoes.