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Can we get more Sassacrace? Love that guy, he was a great prankster and a man willing to date and marry an alien woman that was twice his size. Amazing.
I know this is absolutely NOT how their relationship was and HIC was a damn monster in canon, but fuck it.
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a transfem lesbian sassacre icon or two please
and. demustachify that bastard
It is upsetting how little Sassacre content there is I swear.
thinking about condesce/sassacre some more.
imagine that you are the condesce, on top for millennia, had every reason to believe that you were the most powerful, most superior being in the universe, and then you lose your kingdom and your entire species and you are forced to be a slave to a god with power over realities. you must live in a world full of primitive people you cannot control, and your power is given by the hand that binds you.
imagine you’re a shitty 19th century southern aristocrat, a group whose entire thing is that there is this confidence born from believing that you are the top of the human race, that your culture is superior, you are superior, and that god implicitly endorses your supremacy. and then you meet the condesce, and all of a sudden your entire civilization is insignificant, you are nothing, and the closest being to that ideal you had, of the master of civilization endorsed by god, is an alien black woman who killed christ.
imagine you are the condesce, and you see this man, this subordinate being with a life so tiny compared to your own, and you see him act like he’s so much further above these others of his kind. you see how he channels the joys of humiliating others into creative art, and it reminds you of a similar man back home, who worked similar tricks on the little people he ruled. and he gets it, he understands you despite his inferiority.
imagine you are sassacre, and you start to see the parallels between you, and you find the humor in it, and share it with her. it’s always gratifying to see a woman laugh at your jokes, and it seems that this queen of hell can bear to have you around. and now that you know this much about the nature of reality, it’s hard to talk to women of your own class, of your own species, so certain that they are so far above other human beings. none of it matters as much as this woman does, this woman who likes your jokes.
i choose to forget the prospit family name clusterfuck and just use sassacre cause the colonel is egbert, jade, jane and jake's great-grandfather [remove the great in the case of joey and jude]
Pft, that is a convenient one-surname name for them.
Condesce: I am a nigh immortal fish empress from an alien planet who has come to rule this planet with an imperial steel finny fist. No one could hope to meet my impossible standards.
Colonel Sassacre: *is funny*
Condesce: Oh no! He's meeting all of my standards!
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roxy’s Homestuck Panel Edit Tarot Deck
Major: 0-IV | V-X | XI-XVI | XVII-XXI
Minor: Cups[ pt.1 | pt.2 ] Pentacles[ pt.1 | pt.2 ] Wands[ pt.1 | pt.2 ] Swords[ pt.1 | pt.2 ] [Bonus]
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you think the condesce ever fucked sassacre? i mean he was a racist old coot but so presumably was the grand highblood and people ship condy with him. actually as a genteel comedian, their social role was probably pretty similar huh...
Y’know, I sort of wonder how Col. Sassacre got involved with the Condesce. Like I get that there was probably some predestination stuff going on, but what do you think their first meeting was like? Did Sassacre come to love such a twisted and cruel Meenah Peixes, or did he simply fear her and agree to pose as her husband? Did the march of predestiny force the HIC to spare his life until it was taken at random, or did she have a soft spot for a guy with a sense of humor? Maybe Sassacre’s wit and japery reminded her of GHB and the clown cult, much like the ICP did later.
