It's a playback time 😏 i gave you mine, you give me your top 5 jeresa moments... if you want 🤩
Ooooh. Well played. I’m going to torture myself and pick specific moments in order. We came for the love in the pain, right?
1 - “I don’t deserve that.”/“Everyone deserves that.”This exchange was the key to unlock the mystery that is James and the true desire of Teresa’s heart.
It recolors all James’s actions over the series. It shows us who he truly is: a broken man who doesn’t feel worthy of love. Professionally, he’s cool, competent and confident. But when Teresa suggests he’s a good man, he loses it, abruptly pulls over the truck and rips off his sunglasses to look her in the eye to deny that there is any good or bad. At the time I laughed at his Drama Queen antics but looking back he was shook because to believe that he could be good meant he would also have to face the bad in himself. Just by being herself, Teresa continually shined a light in his dark places and made him see his brokenness. The more unworthy he felt, the more worthy he wanted to be of her. It shows in the lengths he is willing to go for her. He tried to hide from his feelings when he left her and Camila but months later she was still in his heart and mind telling him there was a better way. He returned to be her business partner, to be with her in the only way he felt he could. Even when Teresa declares that they are ‘in this together’, he tries to give her an out because he doesn’t feel worthy of her love and it scares him.
Here’s where we get to what Teresa truly wants: not to be taken care of like the kept woman she used to be but to have a partner in life. James has repeatedly proven to her by his actions that they are in this ‘together’. When he returned they fought about his intentions but underlying all their bickering was an unspoken truth: she already had his loyalty, she wanted a personal relationship with him not just a professional one. She wanted him to open up to her, to know him better. She wanted a life together. Never is that more clear than this moment where she tells him that she doesn’t want him to hide his darkness from her. She wants to share it with him. He says he doesn’t deserve that because he’s trying to protect her. Interestingly, Teresa doesn’t say ‘yes, you do’. Instead, she effectively say ‘WE do’, she includes herself in this equation. She’s got people to protect her but she doesn’t have someone to share her burdens and joys. She may be his light but she’s broken herself. She’s found herself doing things to survive that have changed her. She doesn’t want to hide the darkness in herself to let it fester. She wants to share it with someone who has brought light into her life. She wants to move forward, together.
2 - “Carl gave me his number. Should I call him?”/“I’d play hard to get.”This is the flirtiest she has ever been with James so far. That coy voice and geniune smile drawing him closer. He plays along for a moment before gently reprimanding her for doing the same thing he did before sincerely letting her know what it meant to him for her to save him. As much as the reprimand is annoying, if he hadn’t, only voicing his sincerity about what it meant to him would have revealed the depth of his feelings. He wasn’t ready. What’s revealing about Teresa in this scene is how it’s bookended by her getting a text from Guero and ends with her going to meet him. Still in this moment, she chose to flirt with James. Even with Guero in the picture, she has started moving on from him.
3 - El Santo Hotel Room in BoliviaHow do you choose a single Bolivia moment?!!! So many amazing things happened but I’m gonna do it. *deep breath*
Why the hotel room? PARTNERS. Guero is here but it’s all Teresa and James deciding what to do together. James wants to make certain their location is safe. Teresa intially wants to go with but is only convinced when James tells her he’ll shoot his gun if there’s trouble. She’s keeping him within earshot. When James fires to note trouble, she tears after him towards the bullets. James never gets to see this but Guero does. Even with Teresa’s earlier denial that it’s not like that, Guero now sees with his own eyes the lengths ‘his woman’ is willing to go for this other man. It’s the impetus for Guero to call out James for trying to steal ‘his woman’ because he sees that he really is starting to lose her. Which brings us to one of my favorite lines uttered on this show—'you fucking child’. lol James, I love you.
4 - In the car watching Birdman kill someoneThis highlights so many things. Teresa’s compassion tugging at her to save a stranger. James trying to protect her by not letting her get out of the car while also being unflinchingly honest by asking her to watch the murder because this is her world now. Better to walk through it with eyes wide open. No sugar coating the darkness here. Ending with his arms still encircling her even after she’s stopped fighting him while she’s watching the screen; looking down at her with an expression that is soft af. Her light shining into his darkness.
5 - Day 1: van ride home from the airportShe asks him how he knew the soap would make her sick enough to throw up the remaining bags. He responds with one of the only personal stories we’ve ever heard him tell. That he tried it to get out of going to school. I doubt he’s ever gotten this personal with any of the girls or even others in the business. She doesn’t know that she just opened up a door into his soul. As he turns his head to look at her with heart eyes, he does. It scares him enough to soon after say that she’s trouble because he knows she’s worth it. It scares him enough to say he doesn’t want to take a bullet for her because he knows he soon will be willing to. Today is the first day anyone tried to save her life. Today is the first day of learning he’s worthy of her trust. Today is the first day of building her new life with him as her ally. It was all there from the beginning.
