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male presenting/masc reader smoking like a furnace and a dumb recruit telling you “did you know smoking makes it difficult to stay hard?” with a disgusted look
and reader gasping exaggeratedly, quickly patting your crotch as to check for a dick and then looking back at said recruit “thank you for telling me!! i think my dick fell off!!” before giving them the middle finger
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I just found your blog and stalked your quotev a bit hehehe 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Though if I could ask for some Gaara Headcanons for dealing with an s/o who's sarcastic and fierce. Someone who doesn't think twice of saving their comrades.
*Shippuden Gaara
⁂ Gaara still has this innocence to him, so I definitely believe he would always observe you, trying to figure you out. You’re sarcasm sometimes goes over his head at times after all. ⁂ Because he is always observing you, he knows how reckless you can be. You’re similar to Naruto in his eyes. You’re brave and you’ll always protect your comrades no matter what. He really admires that in you. But most importantly, you’ve become an irreplaceable friend to him and because of that, he will always do his best to protect you. ⁂ In the beginning, Gaara takes your sarcasm and fierceness in stride. Rarely does he show any emotion, and he continues to do so even when you speak, but as you both get closer, he starts to smile more.
⁂ When Gaara learns to differentiate your regular speak from your sarcasm speak, you’ll notice that he smiles more when you’re sarcastic. He starts to appreciate the way you speak, and he appreciates it even more when you get along with his siblings.
⁂ I can imagine Gaara calming you down when you start to get a bit too fierce and reckless for others to handle. He would place a hand on your shoulder to stop you before you make a move. If you’ve already moved, then he’ll stop you in a sand barrier before you hurt yourself.
⁂ Gaara knows immediately that when you don’t speak, you’re upset. You’re usually much more boisterous. The only way he knows to make you feel better is by attempting his own sarcastic comments...which actually isn’t sarcasm but more of an attempted joke, which makes you laugh before you admit what’s bothering you.
