Advent calendar: December 23rd
 Art by sara-riso || Ficlet by undead-anarchist-and-proud || Wordcount: 1.308 || Characters: Jem, Lisa, Kieren
Trigger warnings: Suicide mention, PTSD mention
Christmas 2008
âJem, could you come and help me, please?â, Kierenâs voice interrupted the annoying interrogation their mum was putting Jem through. âSorry mum, Kier needs my help,â she explained to her over her shoulder while she fled the kitchen, relieved to have an excuse to avoid further questions about her nonexistent boyfriend. She found her brother in the living room, completely entangled in golden garlands and covered with glitter. On the floor next to him, turned upside down, was the cardboard box they keep their Christmas decorations in. The picture was so funny that she couldnât help but laugh.
âJem, could you please stop laughing and come help me?â Her brother reprimanded her in mock annoyance, while trying to find his way out of this mess. After Kieren was freed of the garlands and managed to clean his face of the glitter, The two siblings decorated the living room together, whereby Kieren, being the artistic one, stayed in charge of the design. âIt was about time you got me out of the kitchen. If mum had asked one more time which boy i had a crush on, I swear to godâŠ!â Kieren smiled at his sister in a way that wasnât unlike the way one would smile at a partner in crime. âShe used to do the same to me. Sheâll stop asking. Eventually. Just a few more years to go.â His smile turned playfully mischievous and he added âAnyway, whatâs the name of the guy youâre crushing on?" This earned him an elbow in the ribs.
They were just finished decorating when the doorbell rang. Jem ran to get the door. She was so excited about seeing Lisa again. It was tradition at the Walkersâ house that the children could invite one friend for Christmas dinner - it was for lunch actually, but they still called it dinner, because it way fancier. In the last few years however, Jem had been the only one to invite someone, since Kierenâs only good friend Rick had left for the army. As soon as Lisa saw Jem open the door, she put her bag on the floor and jumped into her arms. Kieren watched them fondly for a while and then tried to walk passed them in order to get Lisaâs bag. "Hey, Kieren! Donât even think about using my moment of weakness to take all the presents for yourself! They are from Lizzy, therefore they belong to me!â Jem protested, seeing her brother walking towards the bag. She stretched out her arm and got hold of the bag first. A few minutes later, they were all seated at the table and Jemâs mother brought the Christmas pudding.Â
Christmas 2009
That year, there was no Christmas dinner at the Walkersâ house. What would have been the point anyway, without Kieren to put up the decorations and joke around with? Oh, Kieren, why did you do it, Jem found herself thinking over and over again. She wanted to forgive him, but how could she? His suicide was the reason their family was falling apart. She wanted to understand how he could have done this to them, but no matter how hard she tried, she failed. So finally, she did the only thing she had left: she hated him. She hated him for the pain he so selfishly caused her and their parents, for taking away the family she had. Her father had barely said a Word since that day, when he found Kieren in the woods. Not a day passed, without her mother being unable to continue talking, because she was crying too much. Jem felt like she was the only one left alive in the house, and that both her parents were turning more and more into zombies - an irony, that she will not understand until a few days later. So there was no point of organising a Christmas dinner, it would only be cold and more depressing. Instead, Jem spent the evening with the person closest to her she had left: Lisa. It hasnât been planned, but as always, Lisa new when Jem needed what, so at around nine, she was at the Walkersâ door. Jem opened halfheartedly, but the shadow of a smiled appeared on her face at the sight of her favourite person. âSorry I didnât come sooner, but it always takes a while to manage to be excused from a family dinnerâŠâ Lisa said cheerfully. âCome on, get your jacket, weâre going out for a while.â Jem was rather reluctant. Sheâd rather have stayed at home, curled up in her bed with her favourite blanket. But Lisa insisted: âCome on! It would be good for you to leave the house a bit. Besides, Iâve got something special for tonight.â She produced a bottle of white lightning from her bag. Finally, Lisa managed to convince Jem to come with her.
âIâm so lucky to have you, you know?â Jem slurred. âYouâre the only one keeping me sane right now.â They were sitting in the concrete tube on the playground. Lisa had taken a flash with her, so they werenât completely in the dark. They had barely drunk half the bottle, but they were both already drunk. Not really a surprise, as they were both only fifteen. âThatâs what Iâm here for, Jemmy. Iâll always be here for you.â Lisa answered with a fond smile. Jem looked at her with that intense look drunk people sometimes have and grabbed Lisaâs shoulder. âDonât you ever leave me Lizz, please, promise me you want leave me!â âI wonât, i swear Jemmy.â Jem shoved Lisa in playful reprimand. âDonât you ever call me that again.â âWhat? Jemmy?â Lisa said, acting innocent. âYou fucking did it again!"Â They looked at each other and started to laugh.
Christmas 2010
It was Christmas again. And if Jem knew it, she did her best to forget about it. She was curled up in bed in the dark, half hidden under her blanket, a bottle of white lightning in her hand, cursing her life. Her stereo was blasting metal music. What had she done to deserve this? She wondered, while she tried to fight that picture that kept coming back to her. That horrible moment in the save & shop when she had seen Lizzy for the last time. Why did it keep happening to her? Why did people she cared about keep dying on her. First there had been that lab explosion that had killed three of her classmates, including her first crush Henry. Granted, it was a rather old story, but it still hurt a lot. Then Rick, who had eventually taken Kieren with him to the grave and now, death even had had to take Lizzy away too. Jem drank a mouthful of white lightning. The last year had been horrible enough, with the rising, the dead coming back to life and killing the living and her family falling more and more apart. But Lisa had been there, with her stupid jokes that always made her laugh. Until one month and four days ago. Lisa had been on a supply mission. She and Jem had been arguing about something as trivial as caramel, when suddenly, the walky when silent. That had been the last time Jem had heard her voice. As soon as the silence turned suspicious, Jem ran to the supermarket, but she was too late. A zombie was crouching over her dead body, her skull was cracked open and it was feeding on her brain. Jemâs breathe escaped her in horror. It probably had probably heard Jemâs gasp, as it looked up. Jem froze. It had the face of Kieren. Jem shook her head in a desperate attempt to get rid of this memory. She took another gulp of the bottle in her hand and turned up the volume of her stereo. "You promised.â She whispered into the dark. A tear left the corner of her eye and she angrily brushed it away in a desperate attempt to stay strong. She took the last swig of the bottle. âYou promised youâd always be there for me. Where are you now? I need you.â And finally, she curled up tighter onto herself, gave in to her feelings and let her tears come.
