#sandmand

Love’s steps are usually much more graceful. Like a bird so carefully landing on a tree branch. So lightly that the branch doesn’t even move. It looks like nothing but the wind breezing through the careful sway of the tree.  

Or maybe her movements are more like a spider. Slicking up buildings, perching and waiting to shoot the arrow of love. She has wings but more often than not she doesn’t use them. She likes climbing things and sneaking around. Pretending that the human’s can see her and she needs to hide. Some childish game to distract her from the loneliness.  

Her loneliness of not being seen. Over a billion people on earth. And not a single one can see her. Maybe, sure, the ghosts can see her. But why would ghosts want to talk to her? Can ghosts even love? How would Cupid shoot them with love-arrows if they can’t be touched?  

Since life has been breathed into her lungs, Desire has been the only being she’d ever talked to. And when they did, he usually did most of the talking. Scheming, rather. Talking about every possible way, left and right, to take down his siblings. Or just something more to mess with the humans a bit. 

Cupid doesn’t like messing with the mortals. Or the thought of hurting the other Endless. She’s never really thought of hurting anything. She wasn’t made with the ability to think of harm. She liked watching the humans. They’re so social. Even the ones who claim they like to be alone, they always have another human close by.   

And those who don’t... they eventually die the same way she lives. But that’s her least favourite part. She doesn’t like thinking about it, it makes her feel weird... Her favourite is watching a couple with one of her arrows between them. The first shy looks between them, red cheeks that she’s never had. She tries to always be there for the first ‘I love yous.’  

But watching her now, is pathetic at the least. She looks exhausted, all her power is gone. Dream of the Endless has been out of action for 100 years. All dreams are gone, no dream of desire, no dream of love. No arrows showed up in her quiver. Desire stopped talking to her, after all there was no need to.  

And one day in utter frustration, she pulled too hard. What gave her power was the love and hope between people. It brought her power to see people happy together. More people in love, the stronger Love is. But in the last 100 years...almost nothing. All she’s done is pull out her arrows from people’s hearts. Weaker and weaker.  

And one day she just snapped. Seeing the human shatter and break, some new emotion she never felt before rised...frustration. She knew how fragile the humans are but her anger got the worst of her. It had been the 50th arrow that day that she had to take out. She had to watch how they’d wail and cry when their heart rip apart.  

She’d hacked the arrow along with the heart out. In the human world it just looked like a normal heart attack, but to her it was something much more horrific. The human heart beat in her hands and the blood poured and poured. She knew Desire would just laugh at her and there was only one other person who could even see her. 

But this, where she is now is even worse. The walls are blood red, the obvious realm of Desire of the Endless. She looks barely on the brink of life. Her everything looks grey and dull. “D-Desire?” She mutters hoping for some sort of life force grant from him. A loan until dreams reappear in people. Until love has some sort of meaning again.  

But when she finally limped her way to the throne she got the exact opposite response. “Hello, pet, could there ever possibly be something you want to say to me?” His tone is harsh like a bee sting. “I-I don’t feel so good.” He just scoffs and rolls his eyes.  

“You...you...sly minx! You’re like a fucking viper!” He has a cruel grin on his face. But Love has given up after years of psychological torture and isolation. She is just as quick to snap back. At him “The first words he spoke to me was a thank you. That’s more I’ve ever gotten from you!” Something seems to actualise up for Desire.  

“Oh, I see that’s how it is. You think he cares about you.” He grins and stands up from his throne. His sharp claw once again finds the sensitive skin under her chin. “I don’t understand why you hate him so much.” She mutters turning her face away. But he grabs her right by the cheeks and keeps her exactly in place.  

“I thought that you wanted your master to rule? I’ve been so so good to you haven’t I?” His mouth grazes across her jaw. Her breathing hitches. This is how he gets her. “He doesn’t care about you. He didn’t even know you existed before you stumbled your way into that fucking basement. And didn’t I tell you not to go back there?”  

“He didn’t hurt me like you told me would. Not once, he’s been nothing but soft and-” suddenly his hand wraps around her neck. She’s weak, and even before she only had a fraction of his power. She can‘t fight back. “’not once’? Not only did you free him from his cage you visited him more than twice?”  

His fingers become tighter around her neck. His claws draw blood and it drips down her chest. Her hands flail around his. Her breathing becomes raspy and painful. “I could make a million more of you if I wanted.” He whispers into her ear. But his other hand comes up and scrapes a line across her cheek.  

“But you’re oh so beautiful.” His pink tongue drags over the line of blood dripping from her cheek. Then he places a sloppy kiss on her cheek. “You were meant to be my perfect creation. But now look at you. Weak and fucking useless...” They let go of Love. 

When she crumbles on the floor he just coos. “Such a shame. Too sickly to fly, to teleport. I’m sure you couldn’t even pick up your bow if you tried.” He bends down to the girl struggling to get up. He grabs her by the hair, he can’t help but admire how beautiful he made her again. “I think I should try again, don’t you...?”  

Feelings are such a conflicting thing. Something that the Dream of the Endless never thought that he’d be one to deal with. Black and white and no in between, right? Make dreams, make nightmares, deal with the things that shouldn’t be. Sure, once in a while one of his many siblings would irk him or send him one of this in between things to deal with.  

But now things are different. Now he’s been caged up for over a century. Now for some odd reason there is something more than the repeating thoughts of cruel revenge against the Burgesses. Seeing Alex stuck in an eternal nightmare did warm the soul but just not enough.  

When the sand made contact with his skin and he opened his eyes to see Lucien staring down at him, it made his heart sink. More so seeing the shambles his kingdom had come to. And as he sat on his throne, breathing in the dust of his castle there’s only thing he can think of.  

In his lap sits the arrow left by Love. The arrowhead is glowing bright red. He inspects it closely, there are as always names written on it. But, even in his authority as an Endless, only Cupid knows who this arrow belongs to. But why did she come to him with it...? 

She looked to be in utter disbelieve about the contents of the arrow. Like she feared it contents. Why did she keep coming back to him? Why did she leave the arrow with him and not take it with her? Doesn’t this arrow have a time and place to reach it’s target? Won’t the scales tip, the fates must know this.  

But in the sights he’s stuck in, he needs his powers now more than he needs Cupid. And there is always one person to ask, who would know where his own creation is. But what feels more cruel is the utter fear behind her eyes at the thought of Desire finding out where she is and who she’s talking to.  

It can wait...right?  

“My king, what is that you have?” Lucien asks, picking at her fingers. The deep vibration of his voice echos. “Lucien, what books do we have on Cupid?” The librarian’s brows furrow, “Desire’s first creature? Is that...?” She asks, holding out her hand to inspect the object. “It is...she was the first non-human to find me.”  

The creature isn’t sure what to say. She doesn’t know her master to be one with much sentiment. “Why didn’t she inform anyone?“ She asks, it would’ve helped to keep all creatures in the Dreaming. “She knows her place. She’s submissive, she was made that way.” Lucien goes to speak again but Dream interrupts her.  

“What confuses me more is why she went against him? And what will happen if Love itself has gone missing from the human world?” Lucien’s brows furrow. “My lord you have been gone for a century, don’t you wish to get your power back before we focus on different issues.”  

Suddenly his voice sounds stern and his eyes go dark. “Lucien. My devotion lies with the dreamers and if they have no love there are no dreams. If there are no dreams there is no love. Do not question me.” The woman looks taken back and seems to gulp. She keeps her head down and keeps out of the way. 

A pang of guilt hits him seeing Lucienne cower from him. He sighs and lets the arrow disappear again, somewhere easy for him to grab and hide again. “But-” he stops her from walking away. “-you’re right, Lucienne. If I go charging into Desire’s realm, without my tools, I’ll be captured again.”  

Dream stands up from his steps, his long black coat billowing behind him. “I need to find my tools.”  

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What overcame him can only be described as fury. Utter rage. As if he himself were not Dream but Destruction. Desire had not put the humans in danger, it is true that he was not stupid enough to do that. However, they did harm Cupid. There’d be no other explanation for his hollow puppet following after Dream.  

Morpheus doesn’t see warm brown eyes staring back at him, but instead malicious glowing gold. Like a slithering snake watching his every move, deciding when to strike again. And he’s used Cupid’s body as the tall grass that he’s used to hide from Dream. Or rather, a second skin from which he can crawl inside and out when needed. Just another way to abuse her.  

Dream’s pale hand wraps around the puppet’s neck. “Come out and face me, you unhuman abuser.” The creature’s expression changes to that sinister smirk that Desire has trademarked. She speaks but it is not her. It sounds painful. The voice sounds to be physically crawling with claws out of her throat. “You know where to find me.”  

The puppet does what puppets do when their master lets go of their strings, she falls limp, then disappears. The dream-maker curses and within seconds steps into his gallery hall. He grabs the heart of Desire and his boots hit the red glass walls of Desire’s realm.  

“What did you do with her?” His voice is rough and his jaw is locked. “She is my creature you cannot have her.” The younger brother snipes with a pained attitude, clearly displeased with his older brother catching him in his shenanigans. “She is not something to be owned.” The rougher voice replies just as quickly.  

Desire’s lip is raised in disgust. He sits upright on his throne, crossing his legs and leaning forward. “I breathed life into her flesh, I can take it away just as easily. That makes her mine to own.” Dream steps forward. “Perhaps. But it is awfully cruel to keep Love from loving merely because the free will you gave her is awakening.”  

Desire scoffs, “This is not love this is desperation. She’s nothing but a pet, I made her to be used.” This ticks Dream off. He does he same as he had with the marionette, grabs Desire right by the neck, threatening his life. “I will summon every nightmare that I have ever made and ever will make to haunt every frame that your eyes show you. You think that Endless do not too have dreams? I see, do not think I do not.”  

Desire clenches his jaw. He knows that Dream speaks the truth and anything Dream can conjure would be 100 times more terrifying than he could. They swallow, their eyes look for a way out but can’t find one. “She’s in Despair’s realm. I don’t know where.” Dream doesn’t say anything, just squeezes Desire’s neck tighter. “I don’t know where! I don’t know what despair she has, I gave her the perfect life!”

Within those words Dream knows what haunts Cupid. He remembers the horror in her eyes and the way the blood dripped to the floor like sticky syrup. The way it coated her golden hair, making look like wet copper, a rusty pipe. Most of all he remembers how she wailed in despair.  

She can’t escape it. She can’t escape this nightmare. Each time she tries to stop it from happening, it does happen. No matter what she does or doesn’t do. The heart always ends up beating in her hands. She holds the soul of the lover pumping blood until it shrivelled up and grey in her arms.  

At this point, she’s given in. She sits on the floor in the corner of the room it all happened in. Even when she does this, the organ still ends up pouring her hands with blood. The tears she cried at first matched this boundless drip but now it has ended and there is nothing left in her soul. Only the fear she has for herself and just how cruel she has become. 

“Cupid.” She doesn’t hear. All she hears is the man that at no time has ever stopped crying. Grabbing at his chest as he dies of a broken heart. That and that pump-pump-pump as the cardio vascular muscles pull and contract trying to save a person who stands no chance.  

“Cupid!” In between the gasps of a dead man and the point where all blood drains she hears it. Him. Has he come to fulfil his promise of finding her? Of saving her? Why did it take so long? Why did she have to break this poor soul’s heart over a million times before he found her? 

“Cupid!” Her gaze snaps. It is him. The scene restarts again. The man’s crying starts again. No, no, she can’t do this again if there is some glimmer of an escape. Her head finally raises from the position it’s been locked in for all this time. “Call again.” Her voice is rare but the other one isn’t. 

“Cupid!” There it is! A mirror in the corner of the room that ripples when the voice calls out. She lifts herself. Her knees crack as she does and her legs have long since gone into pins and needles. But anything is better than that blood curdling scream that comes now. She jumps, she jumps every time. The heart shows in her hands again and again she wants to stop and cry. 

“Cupid!” She mustn't become distracted, this is her only chance! She must come to him herself or else she can never escape this hell. She places the heart down, the man cries even louder at this. She flinches but in her last moment of strength ignores his pleas for her to stay and comfort him. She’s tried that before.  

Her hand, smeared red with blood, reaches to the mirror and then through the mirror. She feels a soft hand, a cold one, a pleasant change from the burning blood bound to her hands. A gasp of relief escapes her and she steps closer. She can just barely make out his face and those glowing blue eyes.  

“Come to me, Cupid. I have found you.”  

With one step through the glassy mirror, relief falls on her shoulders. More like tumbles down. Peace comes within the instant. And suddenly she can breathe again. Glades upon glades of ceaseless flowers that jump and dance in the wind and the sun and the colours that plummet from their petals.  

The mountains too are painted in vibrant images of a thousand hues. The suns first early rays comes from the right and cast a shadow behind her. Bees and birds and butterflies bound from beautiful buttercups. What looks to be fairies, made from which she is, tend to the flower field.  

The hand that holds hers helps her as she hunches down in the hibiscus flowers. The tule of her dress surrounds her in a image of a flower’s petals spreading in the face of the early mornings rays. Her hair seems to match the colour of sunshine and Dream can hear his own heart beat in his ears.  

“You made this for me?” Her eyes, this time like hot honey on his tongue, look up to him. She squints against the sun shining down on her. Her button nose scrunches up as she does. A coy smile shows his white teeth against those pale lips. 

“I did not.” Her brows furrow, “Then who did?” He tilts his head to the side, the sunrays hit her eyes again, he notices and moves back. “You did.” Cupid turns back to face the flower meadow. “Me?” He nods, allowing her to think. “You started out as something merely made by Desire...but it seems your affect on the humans has made you into something more...”  

His blue eyes don’t seem to match the blue sky and it’s all she can think about. “This would be your realm.” He explains to her, he can’t seem to look away. It’s strange, a pout forms on her lips. It runs over Dream like a crashing wave you cannot run form. He cannot stop when he is already crouched down beside her and his thumb pulls on her bottom lip. 

“Why the frown?” Her cheeks match the colour of a dusty rose. She takes her head back from his grasp and her eyes scan the scene. “I was hoping there’d be someone to talk to.” Dream feels his heart soften like wet clay. His knees give in and he sits down next to her in the flower bed. 

“You are lonely?” Her small hands takes the delicate petals of a flower between her fingers. “I’ve only ever talked to Desire.” Dream scoffs at this. “That is sure to cause a lonely heart for his company is only about themself.” He stands out in the colourful field. “You could make some company.” 

Dream suggests and her brows pull together. The Endless gently plucks the flower she holds from her hands. He seems to summon a bundle of sand which so carefully trickles onto the flower. The daisy sprouts eyes and appendages and a mouth. It’s eyes look all around before settling on Cupid. 

“Hello.” Love smiles and brushes the petals again. “Hello. Go, play.” She says, letting the now mortal flower jump around in the meadow. “Thank you, but I was hoping something with more substantial consciousness.” Now it is Dreams turn to furrow his brows. 

“I could give you the gift of choice. To chose when the humans can see you and when they cannot, just as I come and go.” He suggests to her, wanting to do almost anything to keep her happy. “You just saved me from eternal hell and now wish to gift me more?” She is unused to people being kind. 

“If it sets your heart at ease we could call it an exchange.” Her eyes jump from his eyes to her sharp jaw and then back. It’s hard to keep focus when he’s not looked away from her once. “What for?” Dreams allows the arrow to appear in his hands and then places it in hers.  

She smiles now at the sight of the arrow. “What would you like me to do with this?” She asks, her eyes reading the names over and over again. Dream smiles, “Is it our names written?” He asks her, his eyes only hold softness, no anger. 

Cupid nods, not trusting her voice. “I’d like for you to keep it. And only when you feel the statement is correct may you pierce our hearts with it.” Suddenly tears pool in her eyes and she shudders trying not to cry.

A choice. He’s given himself the chance to earn her love. He’s given her the choice to love him or not. Her first choice ever and it seems it will be the most important one she’ll ever make.

Once he saw it, it was hard to ignore. The human world looks so dull. So empty and lame. While he’s been in the waking world a century, he hasn’t been around the humans. He hasn’t seen how the humans built new castles and then broke them down. And as he waits outside this church his mind wanders again.  

When speaking to the Fates, they were vague as always. Not to mention, he only had three questions he could ask. He had to weigh what was more important to him. Finding answers or finding his tools. And while her being missing does have an effect on the humans, he has to trust, even a little, that Desire wouldn’t put his shrewd need for power over the well being of the humans.  

While he did say he wouldn’t go in search of the woman, doesn’t mean that he has much control over where his mind wanders to. Why hasn’t he seen her before? Suddenly one day she stumbles into the right basement of the right house at the exact time he’d been caged?  

Is that some strange coincidence or an act of Destiny... Should he go visit Destiny? No, no, that’s not right. He shouldn't bother Destiny about something that doesn’t have anything to do with his realm. About something paranoic jumping up and down the walls of his brain.  

“Constantine!” This woman does have that redish hue coming from her heart. He fights hard to control the twinge of his lip that tries to sneak up on his face. The remanence of love seem to be everywhere. The woman stops in her tracks. “My gran used to tell me stories about you lot.”  

“What do you want with me?” Johanna asks, still keeping her distance from the man clad in black. “Something of mine came into your possession. A leather pouch filled with sand. I need it back.”  

It hurt, seeing Johanna fight and cry over her soulmate. Of course, she doesn’t know that they’re soulmates. She can’t see the red hue grow bigger when they get closer together. Seeing her in this state, before he wouldn’t really care too much. Now...no, no that’s not it. He gave her something just for the last minute of pain.  

Dream didn’t realise love could hurt so much... 

The crowds of hell are all cheering with excitement at the sound of a challenge. “You know the rules, Dream Lord. If I win, you will return my helmet. And if you lose...” The demon slows down. There is so much and so little that can be taken from the Dream Lord. Lucifer's smiles at this. Her wings stretch out in excitement.  

“Why don’t we keep things interesting...? If Morpheus loses you get to have Dream’s soulmate as a slave to serve you in hell for all eternity.” The Sandman’s head snaps up to Lucifer. “Soulmate...?” He asks, his brows furrowing and his lips pouting like it always does.  

The ruler of hell pretend to act shocked. “Oh? Don’t tell me you didn’t know...?” She smirks, a wicked one. She’s playing Dream, but how would she know? Dream is clearly thinking, his jaw is locked. His soulmate? The red arrow Cupid left him, is it their names carved in?  

Did Desire know about this before? Had he been planning this with Destiny? Does Desire and Destiny make soulmates? The same question is if Desire and Dreams make love. That could be the only way that Desire would’ve known to keep Cupid away from Dream. A soulmate... If soulmates are a thing, can Endless have them too?  

“What will it be, Dream? Your helm or soulmate?” Lucifer asks, circling Dream like you would a shark. “You’re bluffing.” He says, the words jumping from him. He doesn’t usually act impulsively. Usually he thinks things through for at least more than a few seconds.  

“If you believe I’m bluffing it should be an easy choice to make.” The Devil points out, still only just fighting off her smile. Is this why it scared Cupid so much to read the names on the arrow? Did she fear Dream that much? Or rather what Desire would do to her if he found they were soulmates?  

That implies that Desire doesn’t know that they’re soulmates. “I accept the terms.” Now he most certainly can’t lose.  

“You have a soulmate?” Mattew caws when they make their way to the storage unit where his ruby is being kept. “I...did not know I had one. I did not know Endless could have soulmates.” The crow looks up at him. “Doesn’t everyone have one?” Dream just shrugs his shoulders. “Not my department.”  

The crow scoffs. “Who’s is it then?” They enter the storage unit. “I did not know soulmates were a thing until now. It seems that there a huge part of the human’s working that’s been kept hidden from me by my sibling.” He explain, already reaching out for the ruby in the box.  

The waking world is looking much better now. Again, he can’t not see every few people having a pink aura. The pigeons gather around him, pecking at the bread he’s thrown on the ground. “What are you doin'?” Dream sighs looking up at Death. “I’m feeding the pigeons.”  

“You do that too much, you know what you get?” Death asks, putting her hands on his hips. Dream doesn’t answer, he just watches the pigeons jumps about after the bread. “Fat pigeons.” Again just more silence from the dream lord. “That's from Mary Poppins. Did you ever see it?” His eyes slowly turn up to her. “No.” 

The grass is green around the lake. Children run around, giggling with laughter. Dream’s eyes wander for only just a moment. But in that moment he catches a twinkle of a pink dress right in his peripheral vision. His head snaps in that direction. 

Just quick enough to see Cupid come and go in a flash. He stumbles forward to grab her but he’s just too slow. He gasps, his eyes rapidly jump around trying to find her again. Any glance of a pink tule or golden strand of hair. But, nothing.  

He and his sister continue walking. Over a bridge where... there it is again! He runs to the edge of the bridge, leaning over trying to see it again. He saw her, crouching behind some poor human who likely just had their heart broken. His heart is in his ears again but why?  

His sister stops and furrows her eyebrows. She didn’t say anything but Dream knew. “When I was captured, Cupid visited me three times. She was the one who helped free me.” He explains to her then lets the arrow form on his hand. “She left me this. Lucifer placed my soulmate as a betting card before even I knew I had one.”  

Death takes the arrow from him, she too can’t read it. “Cupid, she’s one of Desire’s creatures. Why haven’t you gone to her? See who’s names are on this?” Morpheus doesn’t say anything. His eyes tell it all, that and his reluctance to speak. She rolls her eyes at him, then continues walking on her mission.  

“I wanted to wait until I had all my tools back and now I’m more powerful than ever and yet...” He trails off, is that why he was feeding the pigeons? Waiting for the right moment to go and see her? What if she’s been harmed by Desire? Clearly not, he just saw her, doing well. 

“You’re not scared of Desire, you went to hell with only your sand. It’s something more...” She trails off inspecting each of his reactions. “You are more scared of her. Or rather that it might be true.” Dream scoffs at this. “Just think of the power a soulmate could have over an Endless. If I accept this, anyone could hold her over me.”  

She sighs and shakes her head. “You have one friend, Dream. Maybe this isn’t as bad as you think it’s going to be?” Again Morpheus refuses to speak. “She’s just too pure. Have you seen her before? She has this glowing semblance surrounding for. It...seemed to stop time. And these eyes that just... holds all the pureness in the world. Could you imagine something so... innocent? No malice, no harm, no intent for revenge.”  

“What? Are you scared you’ll taint her with your broodiness?” She chuckles at him. “I’ve had past lovers and none of them...wanted this life forever. Something always goes wrong and I don’t want for it to be the same this time.” He thinks over each word he speaks. When did his heart become this attached to this girl? 

She glances over her idiotic brother. Brothers never know anything about anyone. “Who says it will? Think about it, your previous lovers didn’t work out because they weren’t meant to. You had a soulmate, this time it will work.” They continue down the path, winding back to the park.  

“I cannot force this to happen. Love me because you’re supposed to. I’d be just as bad as Desire, puppeteering her for my lonely heart just as he had.” They slowly find back down to the park where the pigeons still wait for their bread.  

“It won’t be. If it’s meant to be, it won’t feel forced. I have one last appointment. Just try and see what happens?” Dream’s lips only slightly raise in a smile. “It seems I too have multiple missed appointments.”  

He watched her, from the corner of his eye he watched her every step of the way. She flew. Used the wings made for her for her and followed him all the way to Hob Gadling’s little Inn. She thought he couldn’t see her. But it’s strange it feels like she’s breathing down his neck either way.  

“There’s something watching you.” Hob says after a while, looking over Dream’s shoulder. Dream shivers, “I know I can feel her watching me.” He says, his back feels burnt with her glare. “Do you mind, Robert, if I cut this short, it seems there are some urgent matters to attend to.” The English teacher just smiles at him. “Go.”  

In one swift move, Dream stands up from his seat and grabs Cupid, right by the wrist. Like his body just knew where she’d be. “Cupid.” But something is wrong. There’s no reaction from her. She doesn’t pull back or gasp or speak. She just sort of stares at him, swaying on her feet. 

She looks right through him. Worst of all, her eyes they look dull. Her usual glittering brown is now more like dry dirt under your nail. There is no warm inviting pink aura coming from her. Looks like her, but nothing feels like her. She looks hollow, like a shell. Love looks entirely loveless. 

This isn’t Cupid.  

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