#samthingtolove

We would make a lovely story. 

The cautious, innocent and exhilarating parts of our journey. 

The ear blast rhythm of songs and fluency of our poems. 

Always in sync. Always as one. 

We who are eternally connected with the galaxy. 

But defyingly, undeniably conflicting with the stars. 

And we who can only live in each other's memories. 

We stay separate thinking of each other's arms. 

We stay here while the rest of the world is revolving. 

We will live and keep this in our hearts; 

believing that once in our lives we were 

There comes many of these fleeting, ethereal moments

When all I could feel like doing is to catch every shooting star,

to lie down and watch them cross dark beautiful skies.

Hear the crashing waves of the ocean

and feel my feet sinking in the sand,

be caught by the wind, gradually, softly, tossing by.

With you by my side. Right here. Right Now.

Every beautiful thing that I have inside,

how I wish I could share it with you.

Every little thing that keeps me up...

I pray it with all my heart that you experience this too.

Right here. Right now.

Cause every little moment I hope you’re near.

Not just like this. A passing, teasing memory.

Sometimes I just want to keep telling you something weird.

Write you a hundred letters if I could and if you’d want to.

Stay with you, pray with you all night long.

Listen to your dreams, hopes and favorite songs.

I wish I would just look into your eyes and be lost within them.

I’d go near your broken heartbeats not for me to heal it

but to understand.

And then I’d witness your new and glorious smiles.

Oh how I love to see you there and watch you shine.

Every little thing reminds me of you.

Like raindrops, movies, letters and love songs.

And like all the other things could easily make me cry.

You sweep into me, lingers up until this day

in this transient way, bittersweet moment.

As I sit here in front of the monitor screen I wait for my words. I listen to this rush of my thumping heartbeats, I long for your songs, and I wait for you coming back to me. Like forever. Like always. Like waiting for you is normal as my heart breathing. But could you ever blame me? You were my only recollection of memories.

I remember way back when we were eleven. If I had only known that you were someone enduring, unfading; I would’ve been the one tying your untangled shoe laces. I would’ve been the one to cheer you up for that first dribble, that first lay-up, your first slam dunk. I would’ve been your shoulder to cry on when your grandad passed away and he left you that Batman figure. I would’ve been your so called ‘childhood sweetheart’. Or atleast we could have been.

Maybe if I had handled it correctly, we could have been together since we were fifteen. Back when there is still so much innocence between us. Flashback to those days when we only talk about Buzz Lightyear and Special A, hushing under our pillows, over the phone. When you were so proud of me for knowing and relating every single thing you ever know. I knew from that day that we were something. But we were young and I was afraid, and I had let you go.

You came back when we were seventeen. We were falling. We were crashing. Time became our greatest enemy. I started asking why we weren’t meant to be. But then it also scared me. Because I don’t know if I could still love another as much as I had loved you, unconditionally. If I could be loved as well as you loved me. Yours were terrifyingly, deeply, completely.

Six years later. Now I’m 23. Many things had changed but not how I feel for you. I’m at this point where loving you isn’t a choice to be taken instead it becomes a part of my every being. Our souls are as old as those faded letters, scarred and our own hearts bleeding. We are the never ending, repeating history.