Ahem.

Making this account and interacting with you all, has been the most fun I had in a while. And I would love to pump content after content.

But see....something worries me. And for that, I need to tell you a story.

I mentioned on this account tons of times that I used to be in the Danganronpa Instagram community. Maybe you do know my old name Izumeno from there. Maybe we interacted there before. It does not matter much now.

Point is, I did on this old insta acc similar stuff as to here. I would post day after day and all, in order to enjoy myself. Things were good.

...well, almost.

What you need to know about my account and DR insta in general, is that many of them are kinnsta account. You probably seen them at some point. Colorful aesthetic theme with a character and lighthearted post. Pretty harmless, on its own.

The problems began with the DNI lists. Now, they contained stuff that was obviously problematic, but also certain ships and all. Ships like Kirizono for an instance. This made me nervous all the time, what to share on my acc ship wise.

Not only that, but I had people cut ties with me thanks for me liking a certain ship. (No, it wasnt any incest or p3do-related, dw). I was also blocked once for interacting with someone, who made content that I enjoyed (Posting Tsumugi x Himiko content). This made me extremely nervous and all, to share my true interests:. I was walking on eggshells, figuratively.

Another thing to know, is that the fandom tend to do callout posts. Now don't get me wrong. Callout posts are sometimes necessary, to prevent predatory behavior and spread awareness. However, sometimes the call out posts were just outright unecessary, like "Why you shouldn't support this fangan." The fangan in particurlar was heavily flawed and problematic, but it wasn't necessary to make an entire call out post of that.

All that stress forced me eventually, to go on a hiatus. A big one. That was two years ago and due to me perceiving the fandom, as what the progressive queer people were like, I was filled with rage. Slipped into the far-right. Became anti-woke. Spread hatred. Stuff that I am deeply ashamed of till this day. Now thankfully, this is in the past and I've matured and grown.

Problem is, whenever I post here, I get remembered of that time in the fandom. I worry that I will get sucked into that phase back and get hurt again. Now I know that this is ridiculous and irrational. Nowadays, I touch grass way more often and I've learned from my mistakes. Alas, fear is irrational.

I am even surprised, at how open I am here. If I shared my interests in the dr insta fandom, they would have marched to my house (figuratively speaking). I am glad I found a safe space though, for the time being at least. It's just the past haunting me that's all and I am grateful for all of your support.

I don't plan on quitting anytime soon. I will stay here and will enjoy the fandom here, which is much more chill. I will be as transparent about myself as possible and hopefully find a way to enjoy posting again, like I used to.