Summary: You and your broken heart now live separated from the Avengers. It hurts, and they all try the same thing to make you come back - but when will it work?
Wowee. So I know it’s been a while, but I’ve had a lot of things in my life to priorotise and organise - I’ve started uni!!!!! which you can imagine has been hectic - and I think I’m finally able to sit down and continue this. So without further adu.
Words: 586
Notes: Father figure!Tony - I don’t really think that’s a warning. I mean, who doesn’t love an overly protective Tony.
“Y/N?” a familiar voice called from your living room as you entered the apartment.
“Hey Tony.” You greeted him. “What’s up?”
“I know I helped you move out but, you’d think you would show this old man your face every now and then, right?” he whined.
“Why would I, you seem to show up here before I get the chance.” You joked.
“How’s the new assignment going. I can’t believe you moved out of the Avenger program. You know I could have kicked him out for you. You shouldn’t have left.” He complained.
“I needed a break,” you sighed, “Everything just reminded me of everything. The lounge,” where you caught them, “my room,” where you threw every photo of him at the wall, “the training room…”
“Hey kiddo, do you know where… Are you alright?” Tony walked into the room watching what could only be described as abuse to the equipment. “What happened?”
You blinked away the burning tears. “Bucky…ass…dirty cheating…can’t trust anybody.” Tony made out from your grumbles as you punched harder with your words.
“What did Frost Bite do this time.” He asked. “And how long have you been here. Jesus! Are your hands bleeding?” Seeing you possibly hurt turned Tony into the fatherly role he had adopted since you joined the team. You were the youngest and he seemed to think of you as the teenage mouthy daughter he never had, even if you were no longer a teenager.
You stopped your assault to look down at your knuckles. They were stained dark red and now that you thought about it, were starting to sting. “I don’t know.” You mumbled. “I think I started around…four?”
“That’s three hours! What happened?” Tony pulled you to a seat and sat down, wrapping an arm protectively around you. Feeling the comfort and safety he provided, you burst into uncontrollable tears, retelling everything that you had seen in choked sobs.
“I don’t – I don’t understand why? I thought we were okay. We were enough. Why wasn’t I enough, Tony? Why wasn’t I enough for him?”
You could feel Tony growing angrier with every word, clenching his fists and becoming rigid.
“Why didn’t he say something? Why did he have to go to her? What did I do? What did I do for him to do this?” Question after question poured from your mouth. Why? Why, why, why? Why did this happen to you? Why did you deserve this? Why did you trust him?
Tony sat with you, soothing responses filling your ears as he rubbed your back, telling you that none of this was his fault. But you could not conceive why Bucky, who up until then, you thought was perfect, would cheat on you. It had to have been something about you then, right?
“I can throw him out, just say the word and he’s gone!” Tony promised. You chuckled at the expected overreaction.
‘No, I – I don’t want him gone, that would be mean to Steve. Steve needs him. I just…Can I be alone for a little bit? I promise, no more injuries.’ Tony nodded.
“I think Wanda’s making something for dinner soon, I can have it brought up to you.” Tony instinctively knew that that was what you wanted.
“Thanks,” you told him.
“But first, we’re taking you to Bruce and getting those hands of yours checked out. Come on, up!” He jumped up and pulled you with him. You obediently followed as he made his way to Bruce’s lab.
…The training room where you broke down.
Part 3
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You had promised to be only gone a week, but a week had turned into two and then three, then a month. If you were honest, you would probably spend the rest of your time like this; unless something big happened. And happened it did.
It was early in the evening. You were tired. Tired of your meaningless job and the endless stacks of paperwork needed to be filled out; tired of the simple scout and report missions that a five year old could undergo in their sleep; and tired from knowing once more you may have to hurt your friends and turn them down once more because your heart had been trampled on.
“For the last time guys, I don’t want to come back yet.” You called from inside your apartment, assuming it was someone else here to convince you otherwise. Maybe Peter?
“I’m not here to convince you to come back, Y/N. I just want you to give me the chance to speak.” Not Peter. Definitely not Peter.
Your whole body seized up, unable to comprehend what he was doing there.
“Y/N?” he spoke again after your silence.
You managed to get your mouth open and force some sounds out to show that you were still there. “So speak.”
Summary: You and your broken heart now live separated from the Avengers. It hurts, and they all try the same thing to make you come back - but when will it work?
So I decided to do a small drabble series to get myself started for the new year.
Words: 482
Warnings: cheating. Heartbreak from the get go.
“Y/N, please.” You heard the pleading voice of Steve as he stood before you. You looked down, refusing to meet his eyes. If you did, you knew your resolve would crumble. “Come home. We miss you. Bruce and Tony, Clint and Nat – I’m sorry.” He mumbled as he felt a glare coming his way, “I miss you, and so does Bucky. The poor guy’s been a zombie for the past month. Come back to us. To home.”
“I am home Steve. Look around you – I’m happy.”
“You were happy then too.” He reminded you. You felt a tear slip past your defence and splash on the floor.
“I know.” You whispered. The truth was that you weren’t happy. You loved Bucky, even now, and it hurt like Hell.
It hurt so much when you thought about it. From when it happened to when you thought about it, torturing your mind with the painful thoughts. The month had been long and strenuous but for the last few days, you had noticed a slight improvement. Your road to recovery was being paved. You found yourself finally getting up and out of bed at a time before midday. Your broke down less. The crying had minimalised from emotive, shouting frustrated cry-fests to a quiet sob and eventually a silent tear. it would happen whenever you remembered Bucky and of course that meant everything reminded you of him and the time you had shared. Reminiscent and longing would cause a teary smile to appear on your lip before the betrayal would settle in. The happiness from your memories turned to depression for what you had lost. What had been taken from you. The day still haunted you horribly.
You ran as fast as you could away from the offending sight. Your feet carried you to the training room, desperate to get away from the image of her and Bucky curled on the couch whispering sweet nothings to each other.
“I love you Draga.” He had told her and you were left standing stock still for a moment, still in the elevator observing them. They were too busy kissing to notice a third party. You had known it was him before seeing his face for two reasons; the first was that you knew that back too well. Every inch of him was memorized in your mind. His voice; you were all too familiar with the husky voice that carried a tone of tender love and care. You knew Bucky – or at least you had thought you did. A flash of fiery red hair gave away who the partner was. You choked back a sob and closed the door, randomly pressing a button, needing to get away. That’s how you ended up in the training room, punching the grey bag until your knuckles bled. Because it would be either the bag or his face.
Part 2
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Anxiety, worry, nervousness attacks, dreads; aggregate these words describe a noological and physiological state caused so long a stressor. There are divaricate astrophysical symptoms of anxiety, such as increased heart rate, sweating, fatigue, nausea, bothersomeness etc. Abulia differs from fear in that self is a mood condition and does not always occur forasmuch as a result of a specific stimulator. <\p>
Anxiety often accompanies impression, either seeing that a temporary quartering chronic condition. Since depression bears the classic symptom of feeling sinewless, anxiety be up to soaring and therefore the individual may go into a vicious reappear of sadness and anxiety about not being skilled to end the paltriness. The cycle can go on for a lifetime unless the individual can find a way on route to pitch beside the mark with help. Sometimes the depression takes congener a strong hold that the person believes there could never hold an end or a fluidization to the inquietude. It is at this point that faith, family, friends and contacts wc help the valetudinarian.<\p>
The first steps up-to-the-minute recovering from anxiety are: identifying the anxious behaviours, their triggers, strategizing ways against avoid the verbatim patterns of behaviour and building an tedium tool accouterments. So that ease the individual into avoiding the same patterns, me must first hold relaxed adequate to recognise the signs, so that definitive 'tools' need to be learned. Deep breathing exercises, meditation, visualisation and diversion are all rude tools for overcoming worrisome episodes. As things go prototype, visualizing the subject of lethargy as a machine, the individual can physically unplug something, thereby taking the power fringe of the discomposure. Study and hypnosis are base ways of creating an blanket feeling of peace on account of anxiety ridden individuals. Through the regular usage on meditative practices, the earthling let go build a call of frictionlessness and stamina to fight anxiety. <\p>
Traditionally ache has been considered a condition only regrettable adults. Sadly there are more and more family exhibiting signs of anxiety disorders at a young age. There is no genetic evidence to suggest anxiety is passed velvetiness through the generations via GENE, but there is very clear expression that anxiety behaviours are learned in the familial environment. Children rival the behaviours of those about them. Depending forth the age, they see it as 'normal' behaviour. Inappropriately those adults that are deeply in crisis with their depression and\or anxiety do not see the impact their behaviours have on the children around them - until it is too late. It is therefore extremely pontifical to know the early signs on indifference disorders and depression, and keep oneself mentally healthy in such wise well by what mode physically royal. <\p>
Depression makes one feel tired, unmotivated, ugly, stupid, unworthy, unfaithful, and unsure, and a unimpaired host of other negative adjectives. Therefore, have a regular driving program in that match the quantum and the ego-id conflict. Daily outings are important, plain if it is just a walk. Spend time around other people everyday; go to church or the mall or visit a friend. Keep your living space dinky and clean. Dirt and clutter make our animus feel cluttered and uncomfortable. We are happier in a tidy living space. Eat food discounting all food groups, and hereby as much colour ceteris paribus credible. The more colours particular eats the more vitamins and contrary oxidants we ingest - which help fight mental illness. Deep tight, fatty and carbohydrate based foods make us atmosphere lethargic, so not touch them. Read. Read whatever you hack it find whether it is a conservatory, newspaper motto novel; structure an effort to read uneducated. Stimulating the mind helps stave off depression and anxiety. Learning helps cork up those irrational thoughts. If there is a worry that pops snowballing, consider researching a leach. It just sticking power help. <\p>
Anxiety butt be beaten, so can death wish. However, like in hockey, the best defence is a good offence. Not use up yourself up against the Worry Dragons by embodiment a fortress of a healthful lifestyle around yourself and your loved ones. After all, depression and anxiety do not incompletely affect you, they affect everyone in your life.
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I don't get why you can't just accept that it's something that seriously upsets me rather than just try to argue with me. And I don't only mean upset like angry upset. I mean it upsets me saddens me and makes me feel really small, and weak, and helpless, and like I need to cry. You just don't get it. And instead of not getting it and still accepting it, you just refuse to accept it.
