#same mads same

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Chapter 8

Ashton

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The rest of the day went much more smoothly. We had Calum and Riley with us in French, and all eight of us had Stats together. We all laughed as we walked into math class and took our seats. “This is definitely one of the better class schedules I’ve had,” I said, clasping my hands behind my head.

I glanced over at Madison, her desk perfectly organized, her nose buried in a book. When the first bell rang, she closed her book and went to put it in her bag, stealing a glance at me. Rather than smiling, I winked at her. I let out a small giggle when her face flushed red. 

I pulled a notebook out of my bag and dug around for a pen. I flipped it open to a page of the random doodles I’d been making all day. I continued my mindless doodling as Luke’s mom droned on about classroom expectations and the grading system. I stole glances every now and then at everybody: Mike was staring out the window and spinning his pen through his fingers, Riley was shoving Calum awake every time his head slouched, Crystal was twirling her hair, and Sierra was daydreaming. The only two out of our group paying any real attention were Luke and Madison, Madison because she needed to, and Luke because he’d get a whole lot worse than a simple detention if he didn’t.

When class was over, I walked Madison to her photo class before heading for the gym. “I can take you home after school if you want. We’re playing at your place,” I told her as we stood outside her classroom.

She smiled. Sure, I know I said I wanted to be alone to study, but I really don’t have that much to study.

I laughed, “I could’ve told you that. But, hey, if you get tired of alone time you can always come play games with us.”

I’ll keep that in mind. She stood on tiptoe to kiss me. I’ll meet you at my locker?

“I’ll be there,” I told her kissing her back before taking off to the gym.

For the next forty minutes, I pushed myself through a small workout before a series of soccer drills. My body moved with familiarity through exercise after exercise that I’d been doing for years. When the final bell rang I left the gym, my hair still damp from a quick shower. I stopped by my locker to make sure I wasn’t leaving anything behind before going over to where Madison was. “Hey, you ready?” I asked.

“Oh, she’s going with you?” Mike asked from the next locker.

She is right here, and yes, she is, Madison told him.

Mike put his hands up defensively, “Sorry, I’ve just been driving you around for the past 2 years, but sure, go with him.”

If you’re teasing me, you’re a jerk. If you’re actually upset, I’m sorry, but I thought you’d enjoy not having to take me everywhere.

“Deaf people drive, don’t they?” I asked.

“Yes and no,” Mike explained. “Deaf people with hearing aids or with Cochlear implants drive. But Madison doesn’t want the Cochlear implant, so she doesn’t drive either.”

“Cochlear implant…? Is that like a super advanced hearing aid?”

“Sort of? It’s like… there are levels of deafness. Madison’s tumors damaged her auditory nerves so bad that hearing aids couldn’t help her. But a Cochlear implant fixes that problem because it completely bypasses the damage by being connected right to her brain that processes sound. So yeah, super advanced hearing aid.”

“And you don’t want that?” I asked, turning my attention back to Madison.

She shook her head.

“Our parents could have done it when she was younger, but they wanted her to make that decision and asking your 10 year old if she wants to go to the doctor and have them drill into her brain… well…”

Would you let someone cut open your head twice, tough guy?

“Have you ever considered it since, though?” I asked.

She shrugged.

“Oh. Sorry. I don’t…” I paused, feeling like I was crossing a very huge line in her boundaries.

It’s okay to be curious. I have thought about it. I’m still weighing my options though. Can we go now?

I laughed and wrapped an arm around her, “Yeah, let’s go.”

“Oh, hey,” I said as we were stopped at a light a few blocks from school. “I’ve been thinking of different things we can do. Since you like movies, we could go to the drive-in.”

A drive-in? Yeah, that’d be fun.

“Cool, then this weekend I’ll take you on a proper date.”

How does driving to see a movie make a date more proper than watching a movie at home?

I took a moment to think about it. “Well…” I started, “some people think that you actually have to go somewhere for it to be an actual date.”

But why go out to do the same thing? Like if we’re watching a movie, does it really matter where? Like, if we were going to go out, why not do something that you can’t do at home… like mini golf or something?

I laughed. Only Madison would question everything I knew about dating. “Would you rather we go mini golfing instead?”

I didn’t mean that I didn’t like your idea. I’d still like to go to the drive-in. I’ve never been to one. It’s just… well I’ve always wondered if it really makes a difference. I’ve really enjoyed our 2 dates. It never occurred to me that location mattered.

“I’ve really liked our dates, too. But, like I said, some people only consider things to be a date if you actually go somewhere. Like listening to music at my house or watching a movie at yours would be considered just hanging out.”

Well, I’m not some people. In fact, I think that if a date’s definition lies solely in its location then that’s a pretty sad definition.

I laughed again. “Then what would be your definition of a date be?”

Quality time spent with a romantic interest, that is agreed by both parties to be a date.

“I think I like your definition a lot better,” I smiled.

She smiled back. That’s because it’s a rational one.

I continued to smile as I drove to her house. I really liked her. I liked the way her hand felt in mine. I liked the way she viewed the world differently than anyone I've ever met. I liked when her smiles were just directed at me. I liked the way she closed to eyes and breathed in everything around her, like she was trying to soak in every moment. I liked the way she was everything I could possibly need.

My smile continued well into playing videogames with the guys in the Cliffords’ basement. Without the girls, we were able to go through games without having to pause every few seconds; and without Madison, it was a pretty even match with each of us winning a few games.

The four of us were so deep into a trance- eyes glued to the screen, fingers rapidly hitting buttons- that we didn’t hear the basement door open, then shut, and the footsteps of someone coming down the stairs. So, who’s winning? Madison signed as she moved to block the TV. Somebody hit pause on their controller.

“Jesus, fuck, Mads!” Mike cursed, “You can’t just sneak up on people like that!”

She flipped him off. Ha-ha, the deaf girl sneaking up on people who can hear. You’re hilarious. She moved her way to the empty couch, a bowl of popcorn in her hands and water under her arm. She eyed the stats that were displayed on the pause screen. Hmm, looks pretty even.

“I thought you were studying?” Mike asked, grabbing a handful of popcorn.

It’s 4:30, she told him, as if that was the only explanation he needed.

“Shit, already?” Mike took out his phone, typing out a message, then shoving the phone back into his pocket.

“Well, we’re almost done with this game if you want to join in on the next one,” I told her.

She shook her head. That’s okay. I brought you guys some popcorn if you’re hungry. She placed the bowl on the coffee table before lounging into the couch. Did you want me to leave? she asked Mike after a few moments of silence.

“What?” Mike shook his head and looked up from his phone that had found its way back into his hand.

Your game? Did you want me to leave you guys alone?

“No, I actually gotta get going,” Calum said getting up. “I should probably spend a little time with Ry before I go home.”

I nodded, understanding. Unless it was a weekend, Calum had the earliest curfew of anyone I've ever met. It was part of the reason why he was top of our class; the other part being that he was basically a genius, ahead of Luke in every subject that wasn’t math. “You at your mom’s or dad’s this week?” I asked him.

“Dad’s,” Calum laughed, “just as I get used to home cooked meals again.”

I laughed with him. His dad had always been a terrible cook. I don’t remember his dad ever making us a grilled cheese that wasn’t burnt to a crisp. “Good luck, man.”

“Yeah, see ya.” He nodded a goodbye at the twins and Luke before heading up the stairs.

“I should get going, too,” Luke said, getting up himself. He had the second earliest curfew of anyone I knew- a byproduct of his mom being a teacher. “See ya, guys.”

“See ya,” we told him.

I stretched, suddenly feeling very awkward. I blew my breath out in a huff and clapped my hands down on my legs. “I should probably get going, too, I guess.”

Did I do something? Madison asked, chewing on her lip.

“Mads, it’s fine,” Mike told her.

Are you lying? She stared hard at our faces.

“It’s fine, really. Cal and Lu have ridiculous curfews,” I said.

Then why are you leaving? she countered.

“Because I haven’t written that assignment for French class like you have.”

Her eyes lit up. I was too busy organizing my photos I forgot about that!

Mike looked at her, “You forgot something? School-related? Yeah, right…” He picked up his controller and started playing on his own.

Well… no, I know about the assignment. I just don’t know what to write it on.

“He does this assignment every year. All you have to do is write about what you did this summer and what you hope you’ll accomplish this year,” I explained.

And then present it to the class, she added.

“It’s really not that bad. It’s just a silly activity he uses to assess our abilities to write and speak in French.”

Yay, talking. My favorite...

“C’mon, we can help each other write them. I can even practice mine because you can’t make fun of how badly I speak French.”

Ha-ha. She smiled. C’mon, we can work in my room.

We made our way up the basement stairs and ran into her mom. “Oh, hey! How was school?” she asked.

Fine, we’re going upstairs to work on some homework.

“Okay. Dad’ll be home soon, dinner at six; you know the drill. Ashton, you’re welcome to join us.” Mrs. Clifford turned to me and smiled.

“Thanks, but I told my mom I’d be home for dinner,” I answered.

“Okay, well you’re welcome any time.”

Mom, we got homework to do… Madison signed impatiently.

“Right, keep the door open.”

Madison turned bright red, took my hand, and led the way to her room. Um, you can use my desk if you want. She closed her laptop and placed it on top of her school books, clearing room for me.

“Thanks.” I sat at her desk and unzipped my bag, taking out my notebook and a pen. I drummed the pen against my leg, “What did I do this summer?” I thought aloud before I began writing. I looked over at Madison. She was bent over her notebook, scribbling away. Every now and then, she’d pause, read over her work silently, her lips moving, then frown. “Everything okay?” I asked.

Struggling with the pronunciation. I went deaf before I ever learned French so I don’t know what it’s supposed to sound like.

“So, like what happened? I mean, I know you had tumors but like... If you don’t mind me asking.”

She held up a finger. Then, in her slow, steady voice. “We didn’t know I had them until I was nine. The tumors were slow growing. And non-cancerous, so I have nothing to worry about now. It affected my balance first, but my parents just thought I was extra clumsy. Then I developed a ringing in my ears. It was annoying, but tolerable. Then, my hearing got fuzzy. My teachers told my parents that I was having trouble paying attention in class. They brushed it off, because my grades were still good. Then one day I couldn’t hear at all and that’s when we went to the doctors.”

“Shit…” I breathed.

She nodded. “It sucked. They said I was a rare case because these tumors normally only grew on one side. I had surgery and we tried hearing aids for a bit, but I still struggled. That’s when we all learned sign language, and I started learning to read lips.”

“But, Mike said you could get that implant and that would help.”

She nodded. “Yeah, they suggested that when the hearing aids didn’t work. But, I had just gone through a scary surgery and didn’t want to go through another one. I had gone from being a normal kid, to the girl with tumors, to the deaf girl within six months. I didn’t want to be the girl with implants on top of everything else.” She closed her eyes for a second. “Talking makes me tired, sorry.”

“Who do you want to be then?”

She thought about it. “I want to be Madison Grace Clifford: a 17 year old senior on the fast track to early acceptance at Yale, photographer extraordinaire, and Ashton… um… what’s your middle name?”

I laughed. “Fletcher,” I said. “My middle name is Fletcher.”

She smiled. “And Ashton Fletcher Irwin’s girlfriend.”