#salmon shift

As my nerves above are teased and how your touch lingers,

Dizzied, a deviant sin spurrs in the back of my skull,

"Maybe this is what everything has lead up to, all for your angel."

"Maybe you broke enough so you can never break from love."

Others wouldn't understand, it's heaven up above

It's utterly vicious, leaving not a part of me untouched.

I can't deny it, it's the truth, I can't get enough.

I crave its voice just to purr to me once again,

I wouldn't even hate it if I ended up postmortem.

I wouldn't judge it, I couldn't hate it, I'd ease into it,

Who the fuck else would survive on this shining comet?

Beauty overwhelmed and paralyzed in admiration,

I praise, who else wouldn't be able to give in?

Others cry and scream over it's sheer velocity,

Flesh cracking as they make desperate attempts to flee.

As ice scratches my face and leave shards of us behind,

Above all else, this is what it means to be divine.

Unwieldable, chaotic, yet ice comes a burning warmth.

Even if I'm left in scattered pieces by the end of time,

I understand that it won't be enough to end my lifeline.

"Hold me more," I plead to my comet, "Give me more..."

A strange comfort overtakes me as it accelerates,

Somehow, I never thought this would make me feel so safe.

Maybe it's the timing, the rush of colors that passed by,

That maybe I don't need my heart to be mummified.

Maybe my body doesn't need to be owned by mosquitos,

If I'm too far in space that they all become ghosts.

My comet, take me faraway, even if parts of me break away,

I'll do everything in my power, in my body, to obey.

Because our loves leaves shards of dust in the sky,

...

im so very glad you stayed alive until now. i dont know what id do without you. whoever i was before isnt there anymore. im nothing without you. thank you for staying to see another year... thank you for seeing it with me. thank you for letting me be selfish... thank you for staying here because i wanted you here! it’s been a long year since ive met you, but im... very happy. and i get to see you soon too, so im.. so very excited about that..  ❤

i could cry right now.. the fact you were struggling so much and now it’s... better. we’re moving past it. and the fact i could’ve lost you, but i didnt.. because i made such a difference.. it makes me strangely emotional. maybe it’s because i actually feel useful? maybe its because the last few times people i knew, and in one case, someone close to me, committed suicide, i couldn’t do anything.. i felt like i did something this time. it’s amazing.