#salay

As requested by @taelenat :)

1. Shallan: Food Webs

Shallan: [In front of what appears to be a conspiracy board] Shallan: And you'd think! How complicated could the food web be?? Isn't it crabs all the way down??? Shallan: But no! If you try to do it fully & honestly, you look like a crazy person!!! Kaladin [quietly]: Do you know what a food web is? Adolin [quietly]: Just nod and smile, Kal. Just nod and smile.

2. Ham: Increasingly deranged trolley problems

Ham: OKAY. But what if on ONE side is Kelsier, and he's saying he just discovered what the eleventh metal is, and on the OTHER side is the Lord Ruler but also twenty-five adorable orphan children! Elend: ...And tell me again what a trolley is? Vin: It's some device that Ham invented while drunk that seems to exist just to kill one group of people but not the other. Elend: Huh. Ham: Hey! Fewer definitions, more philosophy!

3. Vathi: Running away to the jungle

Vathi: Also in the jungle? No council meetings. Dusk: Deathants. Vathi: No weirdos from other planets coming around to posture and huff. Dusk: Nightmaws. Vathi: No paperwork! Dusk: Cakoban's Fingers. Vathi: Man, I should just live in the jungle forever... Dusk: ...Maybe I should cut you off.

4. Salay: Increasing insane Tress conspiracy theories

Salay: You know, maybe Tress ISN'T a King's Mask. Tress: Y-You finally believe me?' Salay: Maybe she's a terrifying reanimated construct that Ulaam made out of spare parts!! Ulaam: I'd do that. Tress: D-Don't encourage her!

5. Hrathen: Sarene

Hrathen: I bet her hair is really soft. Hrathen: Do you think her hair is soft? Dilaf: I long for death to take us both.

6. Shai: Hoid

Shai: I bet his hair is, like, greasy all the time. Shai: Do you think his hair is greasy? Kelsier: The greasiest.

7. Llarimar: Grief

Llarimar: I mean, I am so grateful that he saved Tatara's life. Llarimar: And if anyone is meant for more, I do believe it is him. Llarimar: But is a little bit like working for my brother's corpse. Llarimar: I relive his death every time he looks at me and doesn't know who I am. Llarimar: [takes a long swig of wine] Siri: I maybe slightly regret this hangout.

8. Marasi: Wax/Wayne Fanfic

Marasi: A-And there was this other one where Wayne finds Wax after he's been shot, and it's kinda this whump thing, and like, Wayne is crying and Wax is trying to be strong... And when Wayne thinks Wax is slipping away, h-he goes in for a kiss... Wayne: (gasp) And THEN what happens??? Wax: ...I need to be drunker for this.

9. Yumi: Stackability Ratings

Here is my take on the most of the non-Doug characters for Tress of the Emerald Sea. It was really fun to try a more shape based approach again and I am very happy with how everyone turned out.

1. So pretty. I have so much gender envy for her.

2. She's surprisingly wise when it comes to appointing Tress captain

I don't know how much overlap there is between Doctor Who fans and Cosmere fans, but I gotta assume there's some! The Doctor is a time-traveling alien getting into time-travel shenanigan, and he always travels with a human or three who are his companions. Then there's the Master, an alien like the Doctor but, like, the evil one (depending on the season...).

If Cosmere characters were plugged into the Who-verse, who they be best suited for the role of Doctor, Master, or Companion?

1. Kaladin: Doctor

Kaladin has major main-character energy, yes, but more than that, it is frequently his role to be sad and wet while watching someone he loves die. Think of that famous gif of David Tennant standing in a downpour with the saddest, wettest eyes and tell me you couldn't replace him with Kaladin.

2. Adolin: Companion

Adolin has long been the one "normal" guy among all of those Radiants, which in the Who-verse would, I think, translate into him being the Doctor's companion. Here's there to be amazed at how the TARDIS is larger on the inside, to goggle at alien planets and, more importantly, to inject some much-needed common sense into the Doctor's worldview.

3. Moash: Master

Now, listen, I will try not to simply go "Oh? A Cosmere villain? That's the Master, then!" But I'm thinking here about how the Master is often characterized by insane levels of obsession with the Doctor. The Master hates the Doctor. The Master loves the Doctor. And that level of single-minded obsession with a person is very Moash "mostly unchained" [last name].

4. Kelsier: Master

Kelsier is ruthless and loves killing people too much to be the Doctor (or even a companion, for that matter). He loves plots, he loves manipulating people, and he just sees a very clear line from Point A to Point B and isn't too bothered about what it will take to get there. That's Master territory, baby.

5. Marsh: Doctor

Yes, I am going for the pair of brothers for angst reasons, thank you. But also, I'm thinking about how the show loves to put the Doctor into long-term, shitty, "inescapable" prisons: whether it's a 4-billion-year torture cube or aging into a gnome inside a hanging birdcage or what-have-you, the Doctor sure ends up in Situations. And that reminds me of Marsh, made into an Inquisitor, frozen by Ruin, being slowly buried in ash. It would be like if the Doctor temporary became a Cyberman or something, and I can see that happening.

6. Allrianne: Companion

Listen, I thought about Vin, I did, but the Doctor is so staunchly against "murder" (sometimes leading to fates that are WAY more cruel than death, but, uh), and Vin is a murder machine. But Allrianne--now there's someone who is confident, and curious, and wants to insert herself into dangerous situations whether she is wanted there or not. Those are all qualities that a Doctor's companion tends to have. And she tends more toward manipulation than murder, so the Doctor would be like, "Hmm... Seems ethical enough."

7. MeLaan: Doctor

If there's one thing about the Doctor, it's that they're always changing their bodies. Plus, the Doctor is incredibly ancient, nonhuman, often goofy...the MeLaan similarities just keep piling up. I can see MeLaan sweeping in, grabbing a human or two into her orbit, and then taking them on adventures.

8. Steris: Companion

Steris is smart, observant, ready for anything...and totally convinced that she's inadequate. She reminds me of the companions who are just totally normal humans who discover their own worth and strength by traveling with the Doctor. Plus, MeLaan Doctor would definitely need someone to rein her in...

9. Telsin: Master

"I am going to destroy this world to impress an ancient god so that they give me the power to rule" ~100% a plot I could see the Master being given. Plus, Telsin has the "manipulate the goodness of other person" strategy down pat.

10. The Sorceress: Master

"I promise I won't just pick each villain and make them the Master" ~Cosmerelists blogger, like 7 items ago, now doing exactly that.

Listen, I'm sorry! But the Sorceress's big, dumb evil plan of building a giant penis spaceship while also "cursing" people using Elantrian magic just really feels like something the dorkier incarnations of the Master would do. Like, remember when Tennant's master made the entire population of earth into copies of himself. That Master would also build a giant penis spaceship. You know it to be true.

11. Tress: Doctor

Humans meet the Doctor and inevitably are like, "I would die for this person. Please let me die for you." Tress joins a crew and just makes them all her incredibly loyal friends in like two weeks. She looks at a big, impossible problem ("my boyfriend has been kidnapped by a force nobody has ever been able to defeat") and says, "Is anyone going to do anything about this?" and then doesn't even wait for a reply. Honestly, these qualities could make her the Doctor or a companion, but given that she ends up with her own ship and crew, I'm going Doctor.

12. Salay: Companion