#saint.lb

back to thinking about the trauma of watching your own dissection, watching your own heart be ripped out of your chest and held up like the most precious thing you could ever fathom creating in your life (and it technically wasn’t even your creation was it? your parents gave you that heart, it’s only fitting they take it back). thinking about your own personal creation bursting out from your rib cage like you’re nothing but a husk, feeling the pressure of your esophagus be pulled taught by your own hands digging into torso, the feeling of watching your intestines spill out onto the floor and knowing there’s no one else around to pick up any of these pieces and shove them back inside yourself except for you and your own dead hands. stitching yourself closed and trying to heal something that will always be festering. Occtis, baby, I can’t wait to see you get worse and mentally detach from your body until it’s nothing more than your own personal science experiment.

My favorite thing about Thaisha is how quickly and easily she leans into the familial connections she has with all these npcs. All of her interactions are always from this place of I Know You and it’s so lovely to see everyone regard her in the same ways. From Aranessa, to Amadah, and even now with the orcs of the Rose. Everything in this world, whether its from the parties perspective of life to that of the larger world is so beyond fucked and turned on its head but no matter how much chaos there is, Thaisha remembers her people and will treat them as such. Any time she talks to a new npc I just think “to be loved is to be remembered” and boy does she always remember.

Bro, imagine being Occtis and having this woman in your corner who you just met 6 months ago say, “I think the world is safer because he is here.” Imagine spending your whole life ignored, shunned, and hated by your family. And then you meet this woman. And then your family murderers you, butchers you beyond belief. But a week later, she is saying this.

"If you count on me to be brave, I will disappoint you. If you can count on me to be scared, you might find a worthy friend.” yknow what? yeah, we fuck with it.

fucking hell man they really meant it when they said they could just dump Azune on the Falconer’s. he was still 12?! i wish i could know the exact timeline, did he even have time to feel survivors guilt before he became a victim again?

“At least there was a reason for why I died.” God, that is hitting me so hard.

Ah, I see. We didn’t get a depressing cold open this week, so Sam is taking one for the team in the ad. My condolences on your rejection, Sam. 😔