#saikyouya

Note: It’s supposed to be a playlist for both of our muses so I guess it’s like a playlist that kinda sums up their relationship kind of a thing? I’ve never really made playlists before, so this meme is making me do so for the first and second time. Sorry if it’s no good. I tried. This playlist will reflect something that Haru put into a playlist for herself to listen to. 

So this playlist of hers will kinda be all over the place. I think there are themes of her being in denial, coming to terms with her feelings, some feelings of feeling invisible that comes from her onesided feelings of Tsuna, and also just some of her creative imagination--- we know how she can be when she’s in ‘love’. She gets very creative with her puppy love thoughts. 

Namimorianthem (by Hibird/Mi-chan) – There is no video really for that so whoops nolink Anyways. I mean, is it a surprise that it’s here? NamimoriMiddle school is such a big part of Hibari’s life that ironically she’d put itin there. It means a lot to Haru as well since that’s the school that all herfriends went to. It’s at that age that she met everyone. She’s come across manydangerous times and things, but she loves her friends. There may be someregrets every now and again, but she wouldn’t turn around and change it. Shecan’t imagine a life if she hadn’t met them. She treasures her friends a lot,so the anthem (as lame as it is to put in a playlist) will have a spot in herplaylist.

What hurts the most (Cascada) - Just the beginning of the song relates a bit to how Haru feels after getting affiliated with the mafia. It’s tough being alone and being left to wait. The song itself sounds pretty romantic, but Haru translated this song about feeling pain about watching the guys going off to do something dangerous. There’s been many a time she wanted to tell them ‘don’t go’ or ‘why do you have to do this?’ This especially was evident in the TYL arc during the choice arc. Haru and Kyoko wanted to hold the guys back, but instead of saying what they truly wanted to say, they bit their tongues and wished them luck. Instead of this song being sad about what could have been (love), she interprets the song to reflect how she feels when she knows everyone is going off into a danger zone. She’s fine with being left alone. She won’t mind if she’s not treated the best. You can scare or or say mean things to her. You can try to keep her in the dark about things, but nothing will hurt more than being left behind. Having to stay behind and... wait. Anxiously waiting to be told: Someone died. Of course, though Hibari scares her a lot, she still cares about him. She knows he’s strong, but shit happens, yanno? It’s like the stronger someone is, the more they are targeted. She worries about him too when the guys go off into battle. She worries for everyone. 

Invincible (Kelly Clarkson) - This song relates to her one-sided feelings for Tsuna. She was hurt and probably cried a lot, alone. Seeing the way he only paid attention to Kyoko, it made her feel invisible and not as important. She took some time to collect her thoughts and fix her broken heart. After she cried all her tears all alone, she’ll pull herself back together. She’ll be strong and she won’t let it hurt her anymore. That’s what this song means to her. How does this relate to our muses? Well, I could say something like: ‘Well after moving on fro Tsuna she’d likely look somewhere else, right?’ though really I think that it’s an uplifting song for her. If she made a playlist relating to Hibari and her ‘relationship’ with him, a song that relates to her moving away from Tsuna is important to that. Cannot forget about the fact that the title is ‘invincible’ and who would give off that kind of an image? Hibari. Who coincidentally is someone who could make Tsuna cower a lot throughout the series? Hibari. So it’s almost a subconscious notion of: I need to get onto Hibari’s level. I can’t let myself be weak and succumb to the sadness. I should support my friends. It hurts, but I do treasure my friends and if Tsuna-san loves Kyoko and she likes him back, i’ll congratulate them-- no matter how much it hurts me. When I get strong enough and have an invincible heart, I can truly be happy for them from the bottom of my heart. 

Scars to your beautiful (Alessia Cara) - Another song that relates to her feelings post-Tsuna. She tried really hard to get him to like her, to look at her. She was training hard to be a ‘Yamato Nadeshiko’ to be the best ‘mafia bride’ she could be for him. He never really looked at her in favor of Kyoko. After some time of that and realizing how she had no chance at all, it hurt her deep. It started to make her start to question herself. Is there something wrong with her? Is she that undesirable? Once she reaches this stage, she would start to reflect on things. Start to remember things and connect some dots. Remember all the times that Tsuna tried to push her aside or her feelings aside so Kyoko wouldn’t get the wrong idea. The many times she’d try to do something for him and he wouldn’t appreciate it very much, but his tone would change when he found out that Kyoko was also involved in her plans. She’d feel very invisible, unlikable, and just--- worthless. She’s a prideful girl who has a lot of self-worth and self-love, but she is also young and very impressionable. I still think about the ‘Are you really looking at Haru?’ ‘Did you change your lipgloss?’ It kills me all the time. She asked him straight out like omg my baby girl. Of course she’s not dense enough not to notice. She knows but she was still trying her best and she’s realizing that it’s not really going anywhere. 

I won’t say i’m in love (Disney Hercules movie) - I mean the title alone should be enough to explain that this is a song of ‘denial,’ eh? Now, Hibari is ‘surprisingly’ (Haru’s thoughts, don’t look at me) considerate, and that probably caught her interest. Like, wow, someone is actually paying attention to Haru. I’m sure that like previously mentioned she had a bit of emotional and self-confidence issues to deal with after her first puppy love kinda thing. Ahhh young teenagers, yanno? ANYWAYS, I’m very sure there was also a feeling of alienation at times because everyone else was in Namimori. She was the only one that wasn’t. So she could understand when she thought about it logically that people would care for Kyoko more. One of the guardians is her brother, and it’s obvious who Tsuna has a crush on. So he pays attention to her, as does Gokudera as the possible future wife of Juudaime or whatever. So the fact that he’d consider her by returning favors by means of White day gifts or getting her birthday presents and the like would be very surprising to her. She wouldn’t have believed it (if you recall from the first few attempts where she thought it was a trap). He is considerate and he’s got very cute animal friends. A person who is the friend of animals must be a good person, even if they’ve got some violent tendencies. So she may start to form an interest in him from that. I don’t know how credible we think of the Haru interview shorts, but she did say she likes someone who is a bit dangerous and aggressive. I laugh. Certainly, Hibari is ‘dangerous-desu’. Aggressive is definitely also in the equation. Now, she’d already gotten over Tsuna but now she is starting to feel something for Hibari? That would make her seem very easy to move on, no? Thus the denial phase. Also, I mean, he’s a violent ‘hooligan’ so of course she can’t like him... right? She does know he’s not just a ‘violent hooligan’ as she’d term it, but she’s trying really hard not to fall for another person so easily after Tsuna. She has to learn her lesson eventually, yanno? With the lyrics of the song, in the end, she does admit to it and accepts it. So it’s a song that pretty much sums up that part of her feelings.

Listen to your Heart (DHT) - Somewhere down the line, she accepted her feelings and has to come to terms with needing to learn to listen to her heart once more. It led her down the wrong path, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it will be the same this time. Though when one thinks of Hibari, you don’t really think of a person who is easily capable of romantic feelings. He’s such a... a... fightophile for a lack of a real word that I can think of. lol So really, she starts to question herself. Did you really start liking Hibari-san? WHHYYYY? Don’t you realize that this seems like even more of a final boss stage than Tsuna was? Can she really trust her heart? Can she really try to keep her feelings like this? So this is a song where she’s accepted her feelings, but she tries to really actually think about it. It’s not like that puppy love thing she had with Tsuna where she didn’t truly try to think of everything. She loved the idea of being in love. She daydreamed a lot, glorifying things. Here, it’s like she’s learned and matured just a bit in regards to the subject of love. Here with this song, it signifies the time when she started to question things. She’s already ready to say goodbye to him. Not like literally, but the love of him she started to harbor if that makes sense at all. So she’s basically preparing herself to say goodbye to this love that she already thinks isn’t going to last very long given his nature. She doesn’t think that it would really go anywhere. So she’s accepting that to hopefully lessen the pain. 

What is love (V Bozeman) - So here is another song of questioning love. It’s just a lil bit different. Here, she’s gone past the phase of her wondering why it is she started to have feelings for him. After she started to have doubts, she’d only have to investigate. She’s an intelligent girl despite her odd actions. She is pretty scholarly, doing her father proud, i’m sure. She does like to test people a lot, like she did with Tsuna a couple of times. I don’t know if she’d so much test Hibari, but she would observe him a lot. I’m sure she’d learn a few things she didn’t know about him before. Just how tender he can be with his animals. See that though he’s scary and dangerous, it does stem from a strong sense of duty and responsibility in a way. He may be violent and thirsty for a fight, that doesn’t mean he’ll fight and hurt everyone. He won’t just start hitting babies/children for no reason. Reborn is an outlier and thus doesn’t count. He doesn’t really show many instances of hurting females either. Adel--- I mean, she’s strong? She had the ability to fight. She was prepared for the battle and it’s only right to fight someone who is determined and has the will to fight till the end. I figure it’s a respect kinda thing and also hello strong person let’s fight. There is a bit more to him than one would think initially. Thinking on this, it gives him more of a dimension. Then you also think about the fact that he’s been kind to her. Sure there’s been times he’s scared her, but there were also many a time he was pretty nice(?) to her as well. He’s not as bad as she thought he was originally. Is he still capable of falling in love with someone? Debatable. Still, by now, she’s not as against the idea of falling for him. It’s not like after she fell out of love with Tsuna that her standards went down. Yes, he’s scary and violent, but there is more to him than that. He’s got honor to him. He repays his debts. He protects those who are weak and the honor of his school. That’s respectable and she does like that about him. So really, what is love? She should already know that there is like a 0.00000001% chance that he could fall in love with her, but why do her feelings persist? Why can’t she give up? Why is it that though they aren’t romantically involved it hurts her when they’re not together. It hurts when he goes on a dangerous mission. If he ever gets hurt, it pains her too. What. Is. Love. A mysterious emotion that still, evades her and causes her pain. Still, she’d already accepted her low chances from the start. She loves him, but from the beginning she’d already known it wouldn’t go anywhere. With Tsuna, she thought with hard work she had a chance. With Hibari, she’s already given up on the idea that there is a chance. At this point, she’s fine with just having these one sided feelings and basically be an admirer. She’s fine with that. 

Unconditionally (Katy Perry) - I guess this song kinda just sums up her feelings on a general level. She may have come to love him, and she’ll do so unconditionally. There is nothing that she needs from him in return. He doesn’t need to return any feelings as she’s already given up on that part. I feel like he would have realized her feelings by this point but I don’t think he’d outright mention it? I feel like he’d just ignore it, and not really do anything about it. It’s not like she’d been trying to do anything. After the Tsuna thing, i’m sure she’s learned to not try to push her feelings out there too much. So the very opposite of last time, instead of pushing her feelings out and letting it be known to the world, she’s keeping it in. She’s internalizing it. Perhaps it’s a bit of a complex after how the last love of hers turned out. She doesn’t feel so comfortable with being so open about it. It also goes back to the whole ‘I can’t believe I moved on from Tsuna-san to one of his guardians’ idea. There is a bit of shame there, I won’t lie.Maybe by the time this song became relevant enough to be added to the playlist, she’d gotten more comfortable being around Hibari, getting a bit closer to him. It could be a one-sided thing. Who knows. Though it was mentioned in the tags of the vday thing for this year that Haru does know how to brighten his day, though he refuses to admit to it. That alone leaves me to believe that their relationship can get to the point that the two come to respect each other and somewhat enjoy each other’s presence. Maybe he won’t look at her and think of her as a nuisance. Maybe she could become a person who he could see in a positive manner. Perhaps Haru has learned even more things about him. Things that many don’t know about him. Who knows? She’s quite the observant little thing and she’s all about having theories and such, after all. Let’s be real at this point, she’s already started theorizing about him, character and all. Why is it that he’s the way he is? Maybe there is more meaning to a lot of his actions? Things like that. By now, she’s comfortable with the idea that she loves him, and is fine with the way things are now. It doesn’t have to go past this. She understands that it would be a difficult thing to bring love into things, especially when the Mafia is involved. It’s dangerous and she’s not much of a fighter. I do HC that she’d eventually try to learn but still I don’t think it’d be an easy learn for her and it would take time. A romance can be a tragic one and she wouldn’t want to put him through that, so she wouldn’t pursue it. Ouch I hurt myself. 

More than words (Maaya Sakamoto) [lyric]- The only Japanese song of the bunch lol. I personally like this song and I think the song sounds pretty. The lyrics are interesting to me as well as the sound of the song itself. It’s very calming and beautiful. To me, it sounds like a song that Haru came to like because it reflects her calm. She’s long since accepted her feelings. She understands a bit more of Hibari than she did to start. She knows that he is not the best kind of person for her. It’s a dangerous love for one, two, he’s not one who is very open with his emotions, and more thoughts, but somehow she finds the feelings she has for Hibari to be soothing to her somehow. Since she’s not really trying to get anything out of it (don’t get me wrong it still hurts her, obviously), but there is a lot less stress when compared to how things were with Tsuna. It’s more relaxing. It’s sort of liberating. The song is light and free sounding, kind of like her feelings on the matter. There are points of the song that sounds a bit sad, and it’s not hard to understand why. It’s a slow and sort of reminiscent sounding to me. Like a Haru that is reflecting on her feelings while in her room, sipping on a cup of tea. I mentioned before there is a bit of her romantic fantasy kinda stuff in here right? It relates back to her ‘theorizing’ things. How she thinks that there is another side to him that people don’t know of. Having freedom is painful for not only herself but possibly also for him. There are questions she wants to ask him. Why are you so obsessed with the school? Why are you so hung up on regulations? Is it a compensation for something? Why are you so against people crowding around you?Is it possible that something happened to you that made you close your heart? Did you lose someone? Did someone betray you? Are you just a socially awkward person who doesn’t know how to relate to other people? Is violence the only thing you know? Is that all you were given? Is the freedom you have now that comes from your displays of violence a throw back to your own life at home? Did you have a tyrannous upbringing? He’s a pretty traditional guy and when you think about the house he lives in, it’s possible he was raised very strictly and what not. So parts of the song relates to her feelings, but it also delves into her thoughts about Hibari himself. Could she help him somehow? Does he feel alone? Does he sometimes crave company? Would it be okay if she offered some of her time for him? Is he someone who is hurting and is secretly crying for help? Who knows. He’s a hard one to understand. He’s a very confusing guy. 

BOY DID I TRY. I really tried hard, okay? I really did. I honestly never really made a playlist before. The first one I ever made was for the meme I posted before this one. OTL So yours is the second playlist i’ve ever made-- in my life. I really hope that I did it properly???? Did I do it right? 

I also wasn’t too sure about how to answer the meme. It was a playlist about our muses and it’s like, i’m not too sure about their relationship. When I thought about it, taking into consideration all their interactions to date and filling in the blank spaces with some HC’s on how I think I’d play Haru’s character, I think things could go down this way. 

I do think it’s possible for him to develop feelings for Hibari and maybe as she comes across different songs, she slowly starts to collect songs into her playlist. Ones that make her reflect on her journey of accepting the fact that she fell for him. 

I hope that this was okay. Hopefully I didn’t do anything wrong like making anything too ooc or anything. I wasn’t really sure what to do so I kinda just went with it. I’m sorry, friend. OTL|||||||||||||||||||||||||