Mar 8, 2015
you know that feeling when someone you care about so much doesn't talk to you or even look at you? yeah that sucks
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you know that feeling when someone you care about so much doesn't talk to you or even look at you? yeah that sucks
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what I think is really weird is that I'm so happy, and I have a great life, but I still get that feeling of... "not rightness". like, sometimes I'll be waiting for the train to work, and when I see it coming, I just look at the train tracks and think "if I jump right now, it won't have time to stop". or I'll suddenly lose all emotion throughout the day, and just feel... empty.
they said it wasn't my fault, but I can't help but feel like it is.
last night, after work, I was leaving the building and laughing and talking with Leo, and being around him makes me so sad, but it makes me equally happy, and I love when he smiles at me b/c his smile is everything. when he smiles hard enough his nose, like, scrunches up, and I think it's the cutest thing, and ugh, I really wish he would of waited with me, but nah, he left. and I sat by myself and cried for 20 minutes at the doors wait g for my mom lol
it kills me that she doesn't care
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Drabble: Abandoned Bits
With a huff, Az flopped onto the mattress sending dust into the air making her sneeze and wheeze.Â
I should really clean this place up, she mentally chided herself as she surveyed the room with a frown. She's really let the place go to hell but well, it's not like she intended to abandon it.Â
Yes you did, a sneaky thought answers.Â
Absently, she moved a paw through the little collection of odds and ends set on a low table at the head of the mattress. Foreign coins, candle stubs, broken glass, and a pair of cracked goggles sat there amongst dried-up marigolds.Â
Tipping the old goggles over to expose the open-case Az could feel the name scratched inside the casing:
'Albrecht Glosifianr. Sergeant major/SWO 1st Sol Expeditionary Force, Coaliton of Sol yr19/9864/03'
Reverently she wiped the dust from the lenses of the goggles, careful not to scratch the glass. Really, she couldn't remember why she'd even come in here, she usually slept in the front room away from... this.Â
Placing the goggles back on the table, Az sat up and exited the room closing the door behind her.Â
It's a good thing anniversaries only happen once a year.