#sad fae

My burritos are cold.

I have a phobia of spiders. Like I will cry thinking/talking about them (i call them something else when I have to talk about them to avoid making myself cry and hyperventilate. Even writing it out right now is hard but it makes it easier to get my thoughts across if I call them what they are), if they show up as a picture anywhere I have to have someone else turn my page/ scroll past it, if I find one I will avoid that area for months. And that is just a few examples. Any way, my fear of them keeps me from exploring the outdoors and camping and things like that. As a fae I long to be out in the forests and the fields making friends with the plants and animals! But all I can think of is the spiders! I can't enjoy what was once my home because I'm too afraid of it now! It is so so fucking hard to know it is so close but my human phobias are holding me back! My boyfriend always tries to us logic and tells me there at very few types of spiders that can actually hurt us where we live. But nothing helps me enough to finally go into a forest!