#s.sap

first and foremost, sapnap is the type of boyfriend to ask if he can go with you to girls/guys night, he just doesn't like being apart from you. although he also worries that you'll tell your friends he's doing something wrong instead of telling him.

”baby please, i don't see why i can't go?” ”no sap, c'mon, it's just the girls/guys, you'd hate what we talk about.” ”no i wouldn't!”

i think sapnap is also the type of boyfriend who after a rough night, dresses you in his clothes despite the fact that they don't fit. seeing you walk around the kitchen in the morning in nothing but his shorts and t-shirt really does something to him, makes him feel like you really are his, in some way.

also also also before i forget, you have to get along with his family. they mean so much to him, so seeing his partner interact with his family so well, – like when you help his mom cook dinner or take his sisters to hangout – it makes his heart swell and smile.

he's also rather aware of your body language and what it means. he can tell when you're feeling insecure or anxious, or mad, or just downright sad. sometimes it's kind of shocking how he just knows.

i think in public, when fans ask if they can take pictures with him, he asks you first.

”oh my god hi, can i get a picture with you?” sapnap turns away from the fan to silently ask you, ”yes baby, go on, make the fans happy.” you kiss his cheek quickly before releasing his hand

also at events like vidcon, he keeps you close to him, either right in front or right behind him, hands locked.

”stay close to me, alright?” ”no problem m'love. wouldn't wanna go anywhere without you anyways.”

definitely asks dream and george to leave or not to bother you guys if he has an at-home date planned for you two. like when you guys watch movies all night in the living room or when you guys cook and bake together or.. other activities.

sapnap also strikes me as the kind of boyfriend to readjust any part of his streaming 'schedule' (that is currently nonexistent) just to spend time with you. he'll move a stream off by an hour or two to stay in bed with you, he'll call off a gaming event last second to come help you when you're sick, anything.

your boyfriend loves you, he makes that known 24/7, 365.

dream

[1] - clay strikes me as the type to like to take you out to fancy restaurants to impress you, at least when you first start dating – he just wants you to know that he's financially secure and can give you the whole world [2] - after awhile, it becomes more domestic, like your biweekly pillow forts & movies: you & clay spend an hour at the store and building the fort, decorating with pillows and blankets, & then you'd curl up with your snacks & a film to watch [3] - he definitely likes taking you dancing, and yes i do mean out to clubs or bars to dance and drink, but he also actively looks for elite balls nearby so you and him have the excuse to dress up all nice and go ballroom dancing

sapnap

[1] - similar to dream, i think sapnap likes taking you out to fancy restaurants, but for him it's more so because he wants to give you everything you deserve and for a long time he interprets that to be expensive meals [2] - after your six-ish month anniversary, he takes you to meet his family and it becomes regular to have dinner and/or game nights with his family, he just loves them and loves you and loves that you all get along [3] - definitely, 100% sapnap takes you to places that mean something to him, like the elementary school his entire family went to to play on the playground or the first bar he went to with dream and george, or the first place you two met

george

[1] - george was definitely more of a homemade meals, especially lunches when you first started dating; he just preferred having you to himself and in a more private situation than any restaurant could provide [2] - based on how intimate of a person george is, i think he's big on drives – whether it be at night, overnight, in the morning, afternoon, whenever – he loves being out with you without the distractions of social media, work, friends & family [3] - i think he also likes taking you to smaller bands' concerts/gigs; the crowds are smaller, less people recognise him but he still gets to see you enjoying the music you're always listening to in the car and in his home

”i'm done! okay, i'm done! are you fucking happy now?!” you'd screamed, reaching for your keys off the dresser. your boyfriend stared up at you from the couch, a dark look in his eye that made your hands tremble in just the slightest. behind you, you'd already started to turn the door handle and pull it, opening the door, still facing him. ”yeah, i am. you know why?” you didn't want to say anything, you wanted to leave. but as if his words were a drug, you responded, ”why?” breathless, your eyes giving way to your fear. the man sat far from you smiled, the same smile that always told you things weren't going to end well. ”because you'll come back. because we love each other.” despite how he meant it sound, you could still feel the venom spat from his mouth. you could feel it tingle against your skin, you could feel it in the air as you slammed the door shut, anger and sadness fighting to stay behind your eyes, you could feel it on the hoodie you were wearing that was actually his.

you'd gone to stay with your cousin that night. she doubled as one of your best friends and stayed up with you the entire night. she wasn't amazing at providing comfort, but she let your cry it out on her couch, she let you sleep in her guest bedroom, she took the next morning off work to stay with you. she also convinced you, along with the ill intent behind your boyfriend's words, not to go back to him.

”y/n, my dearest cousin and best friend in the entire world, can i offer you a piece of advice?” she'd asked, pulling english muffins from the toaster onto her plate. for the first time since you'd sat down to eat, you looked up from your plate. ”yeah, go ahead.”

”why don't you try.. not dating, just for a few months?” you knew to take everything your cousin said with a grain of salt, but maybe she was onto something. every time you'd gotten out of a major relationship, there was a cycle that you never strayed from, and that was; breakup, then have a rebound, then go on two dates with different people, and then dive into another long-term relationship. ”uh, yeah, i'll give it a try.” it came out more sarcastic than you meant it, but by the smile you got from her, you assumed she could tell.

by the time you'd left her house that day and were on your way back to your own place, you'd decided to take the time off from dating.

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yes, it had been a few months since your breakup with your ex. yes, your ex was still texting you, every other goddamned day.

after news of your breakup had travelled throughout your friend group and your cousin's friend group, it was a mutual friend – one neither of you had heard from in a long time – who reached out. sapnap. and recently, you'd been spending more time than you would've liked to admit with him. it slowly went from one coffee out to cheer you up a few weeks after the breakup, which mind you, took a couple of cancellations to get set up, to you texting him whenever you wanted to go out and get away from everything. the next month you were telling him what your ex would say in the texts he'd send you.

in your mind, there were no sirens, no flags raised at how much time you'd spent talking to sapnap. even when he started coming over to your place or you started going over to his place, you didn't think anything of it, because at least you had him to distract you.

i'm not falling for you, 'cause this baby is love-proof.

yes, you'd been spending a lot of time with your friend sapnap. yes, he'd started to become apart of your daily routine to talk to. yes, your cousin had raised concerns over your weekly dinner together. no, you didn't feel anything for him. you didn't feel much of anything for anyone. but when you were with him, much like when you were with your cousin or your other friends, you were smiling and laughing. you were happy.

”do you want me to order something in tonight?” sapnap asked from your couch, head hung over the back to look at you in your kitchen. lifting your head up from your fridge for the fifth time in the hour with a sigh, your head turns to him. ”yeah. can we do ubereats this time? the last time i doordashed, they forgot my sauce.” you pushed the door shut lazily, taking steps back toward the living room as he pulled his head back over the edge and opened the ubereats app on his phone. ”whatever you want.” he offhandedly smiled at you and you've could've sworn your heart stopped for a split second.

oh. shit.

the whole rest of that day you went on as if you weren't on high alert. you couldn't have a crush, not yet, because your six months weren't quite up yet. by the time it was time for him to go, you were internally panicking. just don't see him for a week, that'll fix it, that's what you told yourself.

and initially, it did work. you told sapnap you were sick, and your cousin brought your groceries over that week and all was well in the world. and when you did hang out with him next? there was no heart stopping of any kind, and so you resumed your hanging out with him how you had been for months.

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”what do you think of this?” you'd asked him over facetime, stepping back from the camera to show off the new hoodie and jeans you'd bought that you thought paired really well together. ”i like it, but i think it would look better on my floor.” your heart stopped, but not in the same way as before. this time it was from how outrageous this sounded to you.

”excuse me?” you asked, picking up the phone to bring it up really close to your face. ”you heard me.” he replied simply. nonchalantly.

oh no, don't look in their eyes, 'cause that's how they get you, kiss you then forget you

your cousin stared at you, wide-eyed, jaw slack at your story. ”listen, y/n–” you cut her off. ”i know what you're gonna say, and no, i don't have a crush on him. he's just messing with me, obviously. anyways, i can't wait to be done with these months of being crush-free.”

after giving you a minute to catch your breath, your cousin speaks again. ”so what i was gonna ask, y/n is, are you fighting it? you know, having a crush?” she asked, pulling her mug of tea back up to her lips. she took a long sip in while you mulled over her words. ”no, i don't think so.” your words were flat out simple, but the way your fingertips tapped into your palm gave away your lie. ”uh huh, sure. let me know how this whole thing with sap goes.” she responds, taking another sip from her mug.

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ok, maybe your cousin was right. maybe you were fighting having a crush. maybe you were fighting having a crush on sapnap.

crush culture makes me wanna spill my guts out, spill my guts out, spill my guts out

every time you went out on drives later into the night, every time you called him at midnight and he picked up, every time he texted you about something interesting that'd happened to him throughout his day, every time he flirted with you, you felt heart your stop. you also felt it flip and spin and your stomach twirl and flutter as if butterflies were locked inside.

still, you didn't do anything about it, because you couldn't. you made a promise to yourself, and you wanted to see it through.

what you didn't know, was that sapnap was feeling very similarly. he'd started flirting with you moments before he realises he had a crush on you. but he couldn't do anything about it, because you told him a week later about your deal with yourself, and he knew how badly you wanted to get through it. so, of course, he wanted that for you too.

in the mean time, he flirted but would stop himself short of anything truly meaningful and he would avoid going for the hugs he oh so badly wanted, and he would take advantage of every minute he had with you. oh, what a shame it was to feel so much, and repress it for your sake and for the sake of the person you felt so much for.

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to say he was happy when you'd called him at 12:01am one night to tell him that you were officially through your six months was an understatement. to say he was ecstatic when you told him how you felt about him moments afterwards was an understatement.

when you're shopping for snacks for a movie night..

you walk in front of your boyfriend, pacing faster than him. he's got a basket in hand currently filled with ice cream and energy drinks and sodas and your favourite candies. also popcorn, of course, it's movie night after all.

you stop in front of the cookies section, eyes scanning the shelves up and down. sapnap stops just behind you and sets the basket down on the ground. ”you know, the originals are always the best.” you smile at his words. ”yeah but, sometimes..” you reach for a different flavour of your favourite cookie brand. ”sometimes i crave something a little different.”

when you're getting ready to leave for a walk..

the weather had turned, but sapnap was still determined to get out of the house with you, even if it was just for a short walk outside.

you checked your phone after you'd gotten your shoes on while your boyfriend reached for a jacket.

”babe, bring an extra jacket, it's cold outside.” he looked at you and tilted his head, before reaching for another jacket. ”okay, mom.” you let your jaw fall slack at his words and you let out a gasp. ”i hope the cold air makes you horribly sick.” sap burst out laughing as he turned the door handle, motioning you out ahead of him.

when you're both sick..

despite the fact that both you and your boyfriend felt like shit, you still insisted on taking care of everything. the only help you accepted from dream or george was socialisation and taking things to sapnap from where ever you'd prepared them.

this time, neither of sapnap's roommates were home and it was your job to bring him soup. the steam rising from the bowl made you sniffle, your sinuses weren't clearing up and after all the vix you'd used you really hoped they would've cleared. ”you know you don't have to do this f'me, right?” he hesitantly takes the bowl from you and sets it in his lap, phone tossed to the side.

”yeah i know, but i enjoy helping you.” you give him a lopsided smile, and you start to feel an oncoming sneeze so you turn away, face in your arm. achoo! the warmth of your boyfriend's hand on your back makes you turn back to him, face dusted pink all over, a sign of your cold. ”i don't deserve you peach.”

”yes you do, now eat the soup, i'm going to run a bath for myself, you're welcome to join when you're done sicky.” he smiles at you, and then he runs into a coughing fit. ”i'll grab you cough drops and make more tea first.”

when you first tried cooking in his home..

sapnap figured it was just clay cooking at first, so he didn't get up from his spot in his bed. he knew you were over, but you'd only told him you were hungry and then you got up. when he looked up from his phone to see clay standing in the doorway, he was surprised. ”what are you making?” he'd asked before clay could say anything. ”what? i'm not cooking anything.”

”then who's–” clay shrugged, and the together the pair left his room, heading for the kitchen. it would've been strange for george to be cooking. he never cooked.

the only thing stranger than seeing george cooking was the sight before your boyfriend and his roommate. you were humming along to some random tune, kind of swaying around the kitchen as you moved, mixing ingredients into bowls and moving things into the sink and the oven. ”hey peach. what're you doin'?” you froze in your tracks. you turned to look at sap and clay. ”uh, just thought i'd make a little somethin'.” you sounded so nonchalant but the mess around you was anything but. ”y/n uh-” clay scratched at the back of his neck. ”darlin' this doesn't look like a little something.” you looked around the kitchen and laughed. ”i guess you're right.”