notes | I’m back.. with a love for ryan gosling and his movie universe and yes i know mimi debuted in the early 90s, but we’re gonna have to set it back two decades lollll.. just her popstar diva persona will be reflected in reader, this doesn’t mean reader will be totally irl mariah carey

warnings | fem reader, reader’s ethnicity is not specified, established relationship, suggestive, swearing, mentions of smoking/drinking, substance abuse (duh it’s the 70s people were snorting coke and smoking pot), maybe mental health struggles, mentions of porn/pornstars, not proofread at all these are like off the top of my head or whatever whachamacallit

how you met holland..

oh, the 70s.. big hair, bellbottoms, feathery, shaggy hair.

you’re an absolute star, obviously. breaking records, making some good ass disco pop/soft rock music.

and, you’re known for being a diva

the general public have a love-hate relationship with you, basically

but you’re more than that (more on that later)

so you’re seen at almost every high-profile party, making connections and letting off steam.

you snuck out of your beverly hills home, without your manager’s knowledge, to sid shattuck’s party.

and why would you, go to sid shattuck’s party out of all places, you ask?

cause you heard these people get LIT. (and you happen to live nearby, what a coincidence! and it’s not filled with high profile people, so no paps.)

you arrive at the party, your hair all done, your outfit is perfection, what now?

well of course, you’ve gotta try all the stuff you’re offered.

mysterious rolled up joints, all sorts of alcoholic concoctions all splayed out and handed to you like a buffet!

you could’ve sworn the mermaids weren’t naked..

you dance and laugh, striking conversations with beautiful women who were just as stoned as you are

being dragged into different kinds of rooms by the same women to casually watch pornos they were in

the plots were more interesting than the sex, but you couldn’t even focus on one thing at once at this point

then, while you were out having a smoke somewhere in a secluded balcony, a troubled man that smelled like liquor stumbled out from the door behind you

there he was, in all his might, holland march

he was stylish, a lot more stylish than any other dude you’ve ever seen. well, maybe that’s his looks talking instead of the clothes.

“has anyone ever told you that you look like this singer?”

he tries to lean against the solid, white parapet with one arm but his elbow just slips so he just leans on it with his back

he takes out a cigarette of his own, but he groaned when he realized he lost his lighter

“ah, shit.”

you step closer to him, holding out an already lit lighter to the tip of his cigarette.

he couldn’t lie, that was really hot.

“which singer?”

“oh, that.. i dunno.. girl with huge hair, beautiful voice.” he makes random gestures, trying to describe your image as a popstar

“there are several hundred other female singers with big hair and beautiful voices, you know that, right?”

“oh, she’s kinda famous for having a stick up her ass all the time, that lady.”

you blinked

then again

you couldn’t help but burst into laughter, and he laughs along with you, though he just sounded confused

he just wanted to laugh with a pretty woman

he threw his head back so far that he just.. fell over the balcony and down into the grass below.

you yelped and ran back inside to find a way out into that part of shattuck’s house to make sure he’s okay

but you couldn’t even get there, there’s a whole crowd of people you have to get through, and more people who would recognize you and try to offer you more suspicious substances, then you notice holly, a little girl who is out of place in this party.

you actually help holly try to find amelia, and eventually lead her back to her father after the whole fiasco with blueface and co.

how you ended up tangled in this mess..

well you didn’t

well not too much.

once holland was sober enough, he pushes you away from the entire situation

he realizes you indeed are the singer he was talking about

and he kind of worries if a figure as public as you are is involved, your career would take a nosedive

it was kinda surprising to healy once he showed careful consideration for you after the party incident and you guys were talking with the police and all

he may not be married anymore but he will never forget how to be a good partner

i think holly would remember how he was with her mom, and how his eyes looked around her

she would notice the same whenever he talked to you or about you

dynamics/hcs..

holland asked you out after him and healy establish the nice guys detective agency, he literally had to track you down while you were doing an outdoor photoshoot, get your attention and almost get punched by a security guard before you tell your guard that he’s a friend

one night, he asked you why you have the ‘diva’ persona anyways, he knows you’re kind, but..

“what’s even the point of acting that way?”

you notice he has a habit of gesturing around when he talks

“because, it shields me from people taking advantage of my kindness, you know how people can be.”

you pause, then continue, “and maybe because it stirs the stories and curiosity of other people, so the more bitchy i become, the more money i earn.”

holland shakes his head and takes another sip of whatever he was drinking, not before saying

“you witty, deceitful woman..”

he has so much respect for you, he almost reveres you in a way, but you’re so closed off and stiff sometimes. you’re used to being an immovable, prickly, unbothered gal, that you kinda forgot how to relax.

so holland treats you with gentle hands. clumsy, but gentle. do what you will with that information….

holly definitely is a fan of your music!

whenever holland isn’t around, you take her shopping

you even pick her up from school, but with a disguise and a less flashy car.

you cover her face and features when paps come and take pictures of you walking around with her

she thinks that it’s cool when you put a wig and a baseball cap on her, reminds her of undercover work

when the press ask who she is, you tell them she’s your friend’s daughter that you look after sometimes

do they take that? no, obviously not

they try to milk a story out of you but you just tell them to buzz off and mind their business

advantages of having a diva persona: you can tell people off and get famous for it

you and healy are good friends! you bond over holland’s stupidity and your curiosity for healy’s work

you gossip with him, basically, but healy doesn’t like it when you call it gossip, he tells you that he’s simply recounting tales of his odd jobs taking out perverts

you use your connections to get the nice guys some clients, whenever your celebrity friends and coworkers need to find someone or something, they call upon you, to call upon your boyfriend, and your boyfriend’s boyfriend to be on the case

you eventually offer to help fund the build for the march family’s home.

holland refused, he didn’t want to rely on your riches but you insisted, saying that you haven’t got anything to even spend it on!

and he agreed, when even holly wanted to be on board with this plan

holly wanted it to be exactly as it was before it burnt down, but she kind of felt guilty that she wanted it like if her mom were still around.

she thinks you’re an amazing mother figure to her, that’s why she feels this way

so she granted you permission to help decorate!

holland almost freaked out one night when he came home late from solving a case and didn’t find holly anywhere in their rented house

he discovered you and holly were on the land that their house used to be on, sitting under the los angeles night sky, reading an interior design magazine with one flashlight shining on the glossy pages

he got out of his car, and leaned on the open door, observing both of you

that was actually the time he decided he wanted you to be a part of their lives

and the weeks after that he worked his ass off to get more money and more clients to buy you a pretty ring, worthy of your ring finger

you two actually got into an argument and almost broke up, if it weren’t for healy and holly’s advice

when the house is half-done, you and holland see the bones of the home that you’re making, and proposes to you on the spot, pulling out a ring without a box from his pocket, as he kneels on the grass of what is to be the front yard

the ring is obviously gorgeous, a gold marquise-cut off white diamond ring. he slides it onto your finger with shaking hands </3