#ryansquill

I realized that I’m trapped by love,

but what scared me

As the continents are not divided

Imaginary lines define us

And I have gone to battle

To preserve them

I have shed my blood

To honor them

I lay down my life

In service to them

But when I face the wind

When I fall to my knees below the mountains

When the water of my soul does nothing to dilute the salt of the sea

Only then do I realize

I have given all of me

To the fantasy of us

And so I rebuild

And so I replenish

And so I am renewed

Until

You drift back in

Speak of the dream

As if you lived it too

As if it’s brand new

And in the blink of an eye

In a single beat of my heart

In the breath of “I love you”

I am lost once more

In the dark and quiet

I will reach for you

As my fingertips pass into your shadow

Envelope me in the weight

Of the impression you leave in the light

And when you withdraw

I will loose my grip

And stitch up my soul

and it’s killing me.

But.

Into something that will never be.

i talked about

death;

Father said,

“I’ll come running.”

i woke up

cemented to the ground.

looking up at the

sky, i wonder

if i missed my chance

i float high in the sky,

watching the world below me.

it’s ok here.

but sometimes

i wonder

what it’d be like

to cut the tether

and fall up