#ryanhaywire

First off. You had no right to make that post. For better or for worse, you are an outside observer in this relationship, as we all are. You see the fraction of their relationship they put on social media and into their videos. Frankly, even if you knew the two personally you would have no right to make a post like that. Callout culture isn’t meant for unaffected outsiders: it is meant for victims to use to warn others of abusers.

And here’s the thing, what bothered me most — you obviously don’t care if Gavin is being abused or not.

If Gavin were being abused — Do you know how much grief and pain you would be putting him through? Do you know how terrified he would be right now?

One of my greatest fears is somebody saying something publicly about my abuse and my abuser punishing me — for spreading lies, for lying to strangers, for making my abuser look bad. Had a “callout” post been made about my abuser while I was still living with her, I would have been beaten. I would have been completely and totally isolated from everyone I knew. I would have been institutionalized. Even now, I am terrified that someone could find my blog and tell her what I’ve written about her. So were Gavin being abused, that’s what you would have put him through. All for the sake of what? Drama? Points?

This is literally an abuse victim’s worst nightmares come to life.

Next time you want to accuse a stranger of being an abuser, maybe spare half a thought for the supposed victim and keep your mouth shut.

i was worried i was overreacting to his portrayal but i'm glad i'm not alone??