In which Tony and Mayua FINALLY get married...
All the guests have arrived! Hatshepsut and Arthur Stiles are thrilled to be there, naturally.
Hattie: “I see the Mitchell’s didn’t bother to get a sitter for their offspring.” Arthuro: “Yes, well, they probably own a mini-van.” Hattie: “True, we are far too stylish for such a thing.”
Anita and Ryan Murdock seem a little more enthusiastic…well, Anita does anyhow.
Anita: “Four of the little beasts, eh Mitchell? I think we can beat that, Ryan!” Ryan: **wishes his wife was less competitive**
Or maybe he’s just wondering how Pili keeps his head so smooth.
Ryan: “Does he wax…?”
On the other side of the aisle we have all four Mitchell children, and Horus, who brought his wife, Ophelia.
Poor Justin doesn’t look super thrilled to be here.
Justin: “Weddings are so boooring!” Cassidy: “You’re fine, Justin, omg.”
The music begins to play, and (completely on cue, because that’s how the Mitchell’s roll y’all) Diana and Terry kick off our little procession.
Ophelia is very impressed.
Cassidy: “Aaa! Don’t they look amazing?!” Justin: **sulks**
Tony waits by the wedding arch, trying to ignore the smirks of his co-workers.
Strangely armed, Father Oberon, who is officiating the ceremony, glares at the air around him… I guess he doesn’t like the pretty stardust halo?
Oberon: “What is these things?!”
The wedding party is in place! Oly produces some sort of remote control and presses a button.
Instantly, the music shifts into something a tad more matrimonial…
Terry: “Oh my goodness!” Tony: “What–what is she wearing??” Terry: “Tony, you are a very lucky man…”
Mayua seems unaware of the sensation she’s causing at the altar… or is she unaware?
Tony: “Mitchell… I don’t think she’s wearing any underthings…” Terry: “Heh, I think you’re right about that.”
Hattie has apparently made the same deduction… or perhaps she’s disappointed that someone else has more cleavage on display?
Hattie: “I knew I should have gone with the side-boob dress.” Arthuro: “But if you’d done that, we would have never made it out of the bedroom...”
Tony: “This is unacceptable! Who let her wear that–that– napkin?!” Terry: “Just enjoy the moment, Tony, that’s all for you, remember?”
It wasn’t though, was it? Not that he could tell Mitchell; Pili wanted them to play along, didn’t want anything about the cover-marriage leaking out in case it got Hunt deported.
Tony: “She will get cold.”
There. Full of husbandly concern.
Justin looks less thrilled than one would think, for a teenage boy… but he is looking!
Cassidy: “I bet mom fainted when she saw that dress.”
Terry: “I do wonder how those little straps of cloth keep her so… suspended.” Tony: “You will immediately cease wondering about Hunt’s breasts.” Terry: “I was just thinking that whatever it is, I should get some for Diana!” Tony: “Sure you were.”
Though perhaps Terry isn’t the only one wondering such things.
Pili: “You think it’s boob tape?” Oly: “Nah, I think it’s those little clingy gel cups.” Pili: “Never seen those, you gonna show me later?” Oly: “In your dreams, bald man.”
Mayua: “Antonio.”
Tony: “Hunt…” Terry: “Give her your hand!”
Tony: “Piss off, Mitchell, I know what to do.” Terry: “You look lovely, Mayua.”
The Priest stepped forward.
Oberon: “No more delays! Take your places, let us begin this thing!”
Oberon: “Dearly, ah… le persone amate… what is this called again…”
Tony: “Beloved.”
Oberon: “Ah, sì! Grazie.” Tony: “Prego.”
Pili: “See? Told ya; Spanish!”
Oly: “You’re a fucking moron, you know that right?”
Tony: “Wow.” Mayua: “Perhaps our kind employer is less clever than I had supposed.” Oberon: **clears his throat loudly** “DEARLY BELOVED!”
The rest of the ceremony went pretty smoothly. Father Oberon said a bunch of stuff, Tony made some vows and put a ring on the little psycho’s stabby finger…
…And she did the same. Pity they left out that part in her vows about ‘obeying’; Tony was pretty sure that would’ve come in handy at some point. Oh well.
Then it was done. Except for one thing.
Oberon: “…you may kiss your bride.”
Tony could tell right off the bat she was up to no good.
Sure enough. The little psycho grabbed him in a head lock. Yeah, it probably looked all sweet from a spectator’s point of view, but he could feel the heel of her palm pressed against a very important artery in his neck.
Tony: “Absolutely no biting, you feel me?”
She pressed her hip into his groin.
Mayua: “Yes, Antonio, I do feel you.” Tony: “Let’s just get this over with already.”
He wasn’t prepared for it. Probably should have been though; Hunt did everything with unbridled passion.
Including kissing. Maybe especially kissing? He idly wondered what else she did with unbridled passion…
It went on for a while. Tony felt his heartbeat banging against his chest… and other parts of his anatomy. Slowly, her deathgrip on his neck relaxed, and he forgot about their audience.
When she pulled back, at last, he almost leaned forward to kiss her againm byt caught himself in time.
Tony: “What the hell was that?” His voice sounded hoarse in his ears.
Mayua: “Many apologies for the biting,” she replied, with an unapologetic little grin.
