#rust chapter 2

“I know you’ve just had that long journey up to York and back to see your family,” he cut in, a little more brusquely than he’d intended, “So you must be tired and I can help with the driving. Give you a rest.”

Penelope stared back at him unsure what to do. His turning up unannounced had completely thrown her and then to tell her that, not only was he also going to Aubrey Hall, but that he’d take her as well…

She frowned slightly. It all sounded so aggravatingly sensible when he laid it out like that, but the thought of spending nigh on three hours in a car, alone, with Colin was a little daunting.

Especially after she’d just resigned.

“Perhaps, it’s best if I just leave it,” she decided.

“Nonsense. You know my family would rather see you than me,” Colin retorted wryly.

“That’s not true,” she objected swiftly, “They love you.”

“Still doesn’t mean they want Scrooge turning up to ruin all the fun,” he countered a touch bitterly.

“They don’t think of you like that.”

“Please, Eloise has even said it to my face,” he scoffed with a shake of his head.

“She doesn’t really mean it,” she felt the need to defend. “I know that she’ll be thrilled that you’re going to be there this year.”

He gave her a disbelieving look then let out a sigh and took a small step nearer to the door.

“Look, just let me do this as a…a…recompense for the Christmas’s you’ve missed over last few years. It’s the least I can do and if, when we get there, it’s too awkward for you, I’ll make up an excuse and leave,” he suggested lightly. He shrugged. “I’m sure they’ll be expecting that anyway.”

The acceptance in his voice made her heart go out to him and she felt her resolve begin to falter. Maybe if she went then she could ensure that he stayed too.

“They’re your family, Colin, if anyone was to leave, it’d be me.”

As if he could sense she was starting to weaken, he began to smile.

“Hopefully it’ll be neither of us,” he replied, then leaned in closer to her to add persuasively, “Come on, Pen, I really do want you to have this Christmas.”

Pen.

Her heart skipped.

She couldn’t remember the last time he’d called her that. It brought with it a rush of emotion that was intense. Nostalgia wrapped in yearning and tied up with love. Back to a time before Marina when Colin was always there with a ready smile and silly joke. When he was open and carefree and, just, happy.

The only things that had seemed to bring him anywhere remotely near to showing joy in recent years was a decent whisky and finalising another deal.

Whether he’d done it on purpose or it was a slip of the tongue, it was him using her old nickname that made her mind up. It would be this one last time, she promised herself. What could it hurt?

Well, anymore than it already did.

“Fine,” she muttered, trying to at least sound a little reluctant. “But we share the driving.”

Colin’s brows rose and his smile widened slightly.

“Agreed. Better get going then, forecast says snow and I want to out of London before it gridlocks.”

Penelope gave an inelegant snort.

“It’s not going to snow,” she dismissed as she moved aside and gestured for him to come in. “Let me get my coat and bag.”

He stepped over the threshold and looked down at her luggage.

“Is this all of it?” he asked, bending down to grab her case and holdall.

“Yes, but I can do that,” she told him quickly, reaching out to take her bags.

“I know you can,” he replied, then turned and walked out of the house, luggage still firmly in his grip.

She let out a huff of annoyance and glared at his retreating back for a moment before turning to grab her coat. Quickly going to the kitchen, she collected her handbag and the snacks she’d packed for the journey. Then, deciding she probably needed a bit more now that she was going with Colin, she added some extra bags of crisps, some chocolate, and another bottle of water. She picked up the champagne she was going to give for Violet as a thank-you, then locked up the house, and headed after him.

There was a definite bite in the evening air that hadn’t been there when she’d returned earlier and she pulled her coat more snugly around.

Colin had already put her luggage in the boot and was slamming it shut by the time she got to the car and reached for the door. How he made it there before her, she had no idea but suddenly his hand was there and he pulled it open for her with a quick smile.

“Your carriage awaits,” he quipped.

Penelope gave him a faintly bemused look and got in. She watched him walk around the front of the vehicle, unzipping his warm coat as he went. He shrugged it off then got in and threw it over onto the back seat. Her gaze flicked down to his dark blue jumper then up to meet his eyes it so perfectly matched. She knew it did because she’d bought it for him for Christmas the year before.

Suddenly it dawned on her what his unexpected desire to drive her Aubrey Hall was all about. And the jumper.

And her nickname.

Her stomach sank.

Of course.

She really should’ve seen it sooner.

“Your charm doesn’t work on me, remember? I’ve made my decision, so I hope you’re not going to try and change my mind about leaving, Colin,” she told him flatly as she put her seatbelt on.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he assured her smoothly, mirroring her actions and clipping his own seatbelt into place. “I told you, I want you to have a nice Christmas, that’s all.”

“Hmmm,” she hummed, not believing him for a second.

He kept his face forward, but she saw a brief smile touch his lips, although he didn’t comment further. Instead, he started the car, popped it into gear and pulled out into the road.

The traffic was light considering the time of day and how near to Christmas it was. With only three days to go, she had thought that they might find it slow going as people went about doing some late shopping for presents.

Colin put on the radio and the car was filled with Shakin’ Stevens’ festive tune, ‘Merry Christmas Everyone’. Penelope absently nodded along and sang the chorus under her breath only to stop when she saw the first white flakes begin to fall.

“It’s snowing,” she stated in surprise.

Colin shot her a puzzled glance.

“I did say it was forecast,” he reminded her.

“Yes, but this is proper snow,” she said as the flakes fattened out and started coming down heavier. “It’s settling. I didn’t think it would.”

She gazed out of the window as he made steady progress along the main road and felt a surge of relief that she wasn’t doing this journey alone now. Around town and even on the motorway her little Corsa would have been fine, but once they hit the countryside where Aubrey Hall sat, the winding lanes would no doubt be trickier, especially by the time they reached them.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,” he assured her as he manoeuvred around a delivery van. “Most of the roads are gritted and she can handle anything once we’re off the motorway,” he added, patting the steering wheel.

‘She’ was the Range Rover Discovery they were currently in. Colin’s pride and joy. An older model that he’d had for a few years. It always struck her as odd that for all his wealth and supposed rejection of anything remotely like attachment, he’d never wanted to trade ‘her’ in for something newer.

Perhaps that was the part of the man she hoped was still in there somewhere.

“Just remember to let me know when you want me to drive,” she told him as she settled back into the comfy seat.

With the heater going and her coat still on, she was feeling warm and cosy and a little sleepy.

“I think I manage a bit longer,” he replied wryly, shooting her a quick smile. He saw her eyelids drooping and turned the music down a notch. “You must be shattered with all the driving you’ve already done. I’ll probably stop at some services if the weather carries on like this; grab a coffee or something. Why don’t you get some sleep and I’ll wake you when we get there?”

“Are you sure?” she asked, barely managing to stifle a yawn.

She was really tired. What with all the travelling and the emotion of the day’s events on top, she was starting to struggle.

“Positive.” He tapped a few times on the touch screen for the radio and connected to his phone. Soon, a soothing ballad filled the air. “Rest,” he ordered in a low voice.

She sighed and closed her eyes, falling asleep almost immediately.

Navigating his way to the motorway, Colin glanced over at her, a slight frown marring his features.

This wasn’t how he imagined his Christmas panning out. If he had his way, he’d be out of the country closing one deal while chasing another. And Penelope would be right there with him. She was invaluable and the thought of losing her had angered the hell out of him.

She hadn’t been wrong when she’d thought that he had an ulterior motive for wanting to drive her to Aubrey Hall. He had intended to try and get her to change her mind, but as they’d talked, he’d also realised that he really did want her to have a decent Christmas for once.

Just because he didn’t like this time of year, it didn’t mean that everyone else felt the same. It bothered him that he’d never taken that into consideration when it came to Penelope.

He’d dragged her around from country to country and she’d never complained. She’d been as dedicated to the job as he was, so he thought, which was why it had blindsided him to find her resignation sitting on his desk that afternoon.

Her reasons had surprised him even more though. He’d spent almost every day with her for the past four years and thought that he knew her well. Very well, in fact. And yet, he hadn’t known of her wish to continue her book.

Nor her desire to meet someone and have a family.

That had caused an unpleasant, sickening sensation to land heavily in his gut.

He hadn’t liked it.

When she’d walked out, it had taken all of his willpower not to go after her, even though he’d had no clue what he would’ve said. Instead, he’d gone into his office and sat at his desk, trying to get his anger under control for long enough so that he might be able think for a damn second.

It had only been when his mother had called that he’d finally been able to calm. She’d offered him a perfect opportunity, and he’d grabbed it with both hands. He hadn’t wanted to deliberate too much on why that may be, he’d simply needed to do it.

And so, he’d made several phone calls moving everything to after the new year then went home to quickly pack, hoping against hope that he would get to Penelope’s before she’d left.

And now…now he was headed to his family’s country home. The place where he’d had the most humiliating time of his life on Christmas Eve, five years ago.

Where his then girlfriend, Marina, had gleefully told him she was pregnant, only to then drop the bombshell that it wasn’t by him. She’d been cheating on him for months while he’d been away on trips and he hadn’t had the slightest clue.

She’d left him that day and come crawling back by new year’s.

There had been crocodile tears. She’d made a mistake. It was his after all. The other guy meant nothing. She loved him and only him.

And what he hated most about himself in that moment when she told him one lie after another, was that he almost caved.

Almost took her back, his child or not, because he thought himself in love.

His mouth twisted derisively.

Love.

An idealistic notion that made a fool of everyone who believed in it.

Thankfully, that wasn’t him anymore. He’d learned his lesson. Hardened his heart and he was all the better for it.

Oh, he loved his family of course, but that was different. They’d never rip his heart into pieces and feed it back to him until he choked.

Beside him, Penelope suddenly let out a long sigh and shifted slightly in her seat. He glanced over just in time to see a little smile appear on her full lips.

She must be dreaming of something nice, he thought, before frowning slightly and shaking his head. He returned his attention back to the road. When had he started noticing how full her lips were?

‘Since forever’, his brain unhelpfully supplied.

He looked at her again, his frown deepening as he focussed back on the road ahead. Uncomfortable though that truth was, it didn’t mean anything. Objectively, Penelope was an extremely attractive woman. Beautiful even. He’d have to be blind not to notice. Just because he shunned anything intimate, it didn’t mean that he was dead.

In fact, his body was very inconveniently reminding him exactly how alive he was as his sleeping companion let out another, rather breathy, sigh that had him unexpectedly squirming in his seat.

He took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. It wasn’t the first time this had happened. Having no sex life and spending so much time with her, it was simply a biological reaction. He had needs obviously, but he just dealt with it himself if the urge became too great to ignore. He’d gotten used to it over the years.

He nudged a button on the steering wheel, turning the music up a bit. Not to drown out the little noises she made while she slept of course, he just happened to really like this song.

Outside the car the weather was steadily worsening, the wipers working harder to clear the windscreen effectively. Thankfully there was a high enough volume of traffic that it wasn’t settling on the road but after only an hour, he was ready for a break. He hadn’t eaten anything all day and his stomach was letting him know quite loudly that it needed something.

It was another few miles before he could pull off into some services and park up. He turned off the engine and the interior lights came on, bathing the car in a warm glow. Penelope still hadn’t awoken and he found himself smiling as he undid his seatbelt and stared at her, completely out for the count. He almost regretted having to wake her. She clearly needed the rest, but when his stomach let out yet another embarrassingly long rumble, he reached out and gently nudged her arm.

“Penelope,” he said quietly. When she didn’t stir, he nudged her a bit more firmly. “Pen,” he tried again a bit louder. “We’ve stopped. I need to eat.” He shook her again and her eyes finally fluttered open.

“What?” she asked, looking around groggily, trying to get her bearings. “What’s happened?”

“My stomach’s happened. I need a coffee and some food.”

That seemed to wake her up and she looked at him in concern.

“Have you eaten anything today?” she asked in a mildly accusing tone.   

He merely shrugged then leaned toward her as he reached into the back to retrieve his coat. The action brought him close and he heard her take in a sharp breath. He turned his head to look at her to see what had caused the reaction, but her eyes were averted as she stared down at where she was trying, unsuccessfully, to undo her seatbelt.

“Here, let me,” he offered, moving back.

“I think it’s stuck,” she muttered tugging almost frantically at the catch.

He reached down and pressed the button then, with a soft click, the belt slid free. She glanced at him then quickly away, her cheeks reddening as she muttered out her thanks before swiftly exiting the car.

The door slammed shut and he stared after her in confusion. What was that all about? He got out and pulled his coat on as he rounded the front of the car and headed over to her. She was standing a few feet away, eyes closed, head tilted up to the sky as large flakes of rapidly falling snow landed on her face and hair.

“You okay?” he asked as he came to a halt by her side.

She opened her eyes and looked at him, the flakes that had caught on her lashes melting to give the illusion of tears.

“I’m fine,” she replied abruptly and gave him quick smile. “Let’s go and get you fed.”

She turned to go then let out a small cry of surprise as her foot seemed to slide out from under her and she started to fall.

Colin immediately reached out and grabbed her elbow, keeping her easily upright.

“I’ve got you,” he said, then put her hand in the crook of his arm and kept it there. It felt right, somehow. He cleared his throat. “Perhaps you’d better hold onto me until we get inside.”

“No, it’s fine, I can walk by myself,” she objected, trying to pull her hand free but Colin wasn’t ready to let go. He placed his hand over hers and began to move, taking her with him. 

To say it was busy was an understatement as they entered the brightly lit service area. Christmas music played slightly too loudly in the background while people milled around chatting even louder as they looked for seating or used the facilities. The weather had obviously caused problems for staff getting in as only a couple of eateries were actually open which meant that the queues for food were long.

“Chicken or a burger?” he asked, not particularly relishing the idea of either.

“Whatever queue is shorter.”

Chicken was the answer to that and while she visited the restroom, Colin made his way to the back of the line. Pulling out his phone, he scrolled through his work messages and had fired off a couple of responses by the time Penelope had returned.

“Not got very far then,” she commented in wry amusement as they shuffled forward a couple of steps.

“Looks like we’ll be here a while,” he agreed as he looked at the never-ending queue with a grimace. Maybe he could go a little bit longer before eating, he thought, touching his stomach absently.

Several people near the middle of the line were clearly bored as, suddenly, a bunch of mistletoe appeared and started being tossed around the queue. It was being flung in the air like a bridal bouquet and whoever caught it kissed someone, much to the good-natured cheers and whistles of everyone else.

He glanced at Penelope. She was watching the shenanigans with a delighted smile that abruptly turned to horrified when her eyes tracked the arc of the next throw and he felt something hit his head then bounce off. He automatically reached out to catch it and looked down to see it was the mistletoe. His gaze snapped to hers and she stared at back him wide-eyed.

“Give her a kiss, mate,” a man’s voice called out.

Her cheeks instantly bloomed with colour, and she began to blink rapidly, clearly unsure how to react.

His gaze dropped to her mouth; those full lips parted and oh-so tempting.

What could one little kiss hurt?

A quick taste to satisfy his curiosity.

His heart began to pick up pace in anticipation.

He should just toss the mistletoe away.

He should just ignore the unbidden urge that was unfurling inside him.

What he absolutely should not do is take a small step closer and slowly lift the bundle of green leaves and white berries above their heads.

He heard her sharp intake of breath as her mouth dropped open further and her eyes darted between the mistletoe and his face trying to comprehend what he’d just done.

“It is Christmas, Pen,” he encouraged silkily. “Good luck and all that.”

He saw her visibly swallow and her blush deepen if that were possible, but then, she gave him an almost imperceptible nod of assent.

He smiled and leaned in, shutting down the voice inside his head that warned him it was a bad idea.

He touched his mouth to hers. Just a brush. The lightest of kisses that had no right to ignite the kind of fire that suddenly scorched through his veins catching him completely unawares. Instinctively, his hands dropped to her waist and pulled her closer to him, her soft moan of capitulation fanning the flames even higher as he deepened the kiss.

Somewhere in the back of mind came the stunned realisation that nothing had ever felt like this before.

His brow furrowed as the truth jolted through him, and when she melted further against him, his hands slid from her waist to encircle her completely. Tentative fingertips brushed against the skin at the nape of his neck, sparking an unexpected shiver right down his spine and his arms tightened even more until she was flush against him.

Wolf whistles and cheers erupted around them, shattering the moment with the unwelcome recollection that they were in the middle of a service station being watched by a crowd of strangers.

He tore himself away and stared down at her, chest heaving as he fought to catch his breath and dampen down the unwelcome throb of desire that raced through him.

Penelope blinked up at him a little dazed and it took a few seconds for clarity to shine through. When it did, she tried to take a step back, but his arms refused to let her go, as though his body hadn’t yet accepted the kiss was over.

She shifted again and this time he forced his muscles to relax. He let her go, his arms slowly lowering to his sides even as she took a couple of wobbly steps away from him.

“It’s alright, luv, I threw the mistletoe on for you,” an older lady standing ahead of them in the queue told him kindly.

His mind still awhirl from trying to understand what the hell had just happened, Colin merely gave her a blank look.

“You dropped it,” she clarified, looking between them both with a soft smile.

Colin blinked and felt a surge of heat rush to his cheeks. He’d been so distracted by Penelope that he hadn’t even realised.

The lady chuckled and patted his hand gently.

“We used to be like that, didn’t we, dear?” she said to the grey-haired gentleman beside her, who Colin assumed must be her husband.

“Still are, when you let me,” he replied jovially, sliding an arm around her waist and planting a wet kiss on her cheek.

The line moved, taking the couple with it, still laughing. Penelope cleared her throat quietly and stepped forward too. He knew he should say something, but for a man who prided himself on being able to handle any situation, he found he could barely form a coherent thought, let alone a sentence.

When the couple turned again and began chatting warmly to Penelope, Colin drifted closer, letting their easy conversation swallow him up. It was far easier to respond to strangers’ small talk than face the tangle of thoughts and feelings that kiss had awoken in him.

Once they’d all got their food, they sat and ate together, and by the time he and Penelope were ready to leave, he almost felt in control again.

The snow was deeper when they got outside, though Penelope didn’t ask for any help as she carefully made her way across the car park, and Colin didn’t offer.

When they reached his car, she stood and held out her hand.

“I’ll drive,” she told him firmly.

“You don’t have to,” he replied. “I’m fine to carry on.”

In truth, he needed the distraction of the road; anything to keep his thoughts from drifting where he wasn’t ready for them to go.

“No. You agreed that we split it, Colin. It’s my turn,” she insisted, waggling her fingers at him. “Come on, I’m getting cold.”

Reluctantly, he pulled out his keys and handed them over, forcing himself not to react to the little frisson of awareness that tingled through his fingers where they briefly touched.

He’d tried, really tried, to pull himself back into the safe numbness he lived in now, but the control he thought he’d reclaimed after their kiss had shattered with nothing more than the graze of her hand.

Christ. That was going to become a real problem if he didn’t sort his head out pretty damn quick.

They climbed into the car, and once Penelope had adjusted the seat and mirrors, she nudged the music up a little, just enough to signal she wasn’t up for talking.

He felt a mild relief as the unspoken agreement settled between them and closed his eyes.

He didn’t intend to fall asleep. He merely wanted to dull the awkwardness between them a little. It wasn’t long, however, before the steady hum of the engine and the warm air from the vents did their work and he drifted off.

The next thing he knew, a sharp cry rang out, bringing him back to consciousness.

His eyes flew open just as blinding headlights cut across the windscreen. Fear sliced through him as he realised that a vehicle was bearing down on them from the wrong side of the road.

Penelope yanked the steering wheel, and the car lurched into a skid, tyres losing grip on the hidden ice as it veered off the road. Snow exploded upward in a blinding white flash. The airbags burst open around them, and a violent jolt slammed through him as the vehicle struck something under the drift and shuddered to a sudden halt.

Then…silence.