I looked pretty good for my first day

Word for word. That’s what is written. I look to my parents and we all confirm with each other that we saw the note. In the office, the director folds the note in half when reaching into my file again but doesn’t address it further. We talk about my eligibility for aid, how much classes cost, etc. before I let her know that I was hoping to discuss some problems I had with her department. That’s when I asked about the sticky note.

I was shaking. My parents were too. She didn’t give up the note right away when I asked for it. It took me asking multiple times and my stepmother telling her to give it to me for her to hand it over. I read it again, “This is a male!” My stepmother read it. My mother read it as well.

I’m trans. I’m ineligible for selective service. FAFSA flagged my file because as a government program, they wanted to see why I wasn’t participating in selective service. I can presume the sticky note was to clarify that I am a trans male.

It didn’t need to be there. My parents and I began explaining why it doesn’t need to be. If it was to clarify why my FAFSA was flagged, it could’ve been written in so many other ways. My gender did not need to be the focus. Something as simple as “All paperwork is correct” would have worked fine. We asked her how she would feel if the school had a file for her and had a sticky note reading, “This is a female!” We were furious. Eventually, she apologized. Again and again.

No cis student would have gotten this note. This was an ignorant transphobic act. Never have my parents understood when I said that trans people are seen as “other”. This note is dehumanizing, it’s what someone would write to stick on their aquarium because people keep thinking their male betta is a girl.

This is why I’m going to college. I hate to think someone else went through this same thing. I hate thinking someone else had their file opened to a fucking sticky note reading “This is a male!” or “This is a female!” It’s degrading. It’s embarrassing. It’s humiliating. It should never have happened. And if I don’t make a fuss, if I don’t hold these people accountable, nothing will change. So I’m making a fucking fuss. I will continue to make a fuss until shit changes because I’m sick of it. I’m going to school so I can learn how to educate others in how to make a fuss, in how to make a change. If no one else is going to do anything, then I’m going to do it my-fucking-self.

From now on, when people ask me why I’m going to college, I’ll tell them it’s because I’m referred to as “this” rather than “someone”.