#ruefulrejection

Busy

Sick

Skipped ball to recover

Canceled shoot because second wave ill

Canceled another shoot to not miss a bigger event

Drove half way across the country, ill, for a subpar event

Stress back to work

Overworked at side gig

College friend died

October slide

Relationship falls apart

OCD spirals

Friend is visiting so can't fully process what is happening

Relationship chaos pt 2

Even more overworked at both jobs

Chronic illness flaring

Travel out of state for side gig, everyone dancing on egg shells around me

Awkward convention engagements

Trans mentor at work goes missing

Car breaks down

Family making holidays weird

Missing person case shifted to a recovery mission

Dear Gabii,

I love you. Yes I know what you are thinking, but I am going to talk anyways. I love you in every way  I love you fun personality. I love your ability to give no fucks and have zero shame, and always have fun. I would love to be the same. I love how smart and dedicated you are. You always go ham and go above and beyond, to show people you can be the best, and dam well will be the best. You show so much dedication in everything you do, and it shines brightly every time you work on something you do something. School work, art, costumes, clothing, everything and anything you aspire to be the best. I love it and wish I could do the same. I love how you are open to try new things with me. You can relate to me and deal with me. I love your neediness :D I love your love. I love your pretty face. You are beautiful in every way and don't let anyone tell you differently. Not gonna lie, love your boobs, boobs are great.  I love YOU, AND YOU FOR YOU NOT YOUR BODY!(body is pretty great though) I love your smile. I feel great each and every time I can make it appear. I love your hair ^.^. I wish I could always brighten your day. I am sorry I haven't been the best boyfriend to you. I don't show I care and I don't do much for you but I want to show you. Unfortunately I just don't know how to, I need help. I want to take you out but I don't know what to do. I want to take you on adventures. I want to make you smile. I love you so much and someday I will show you, but I need your help. Love, a word, for it to have meaning I need to show it and I haven't done it enough. I won't to give that word meaning to you every time I say it to you, and only you. There will never be anyone but you and I will prove it to you, I will prove me love and loyalty to you. I don't know how and I don't know when and how but I will show you someday. I love you and I just want you to know.