#rreader

1:03 pm message thread: ash ketchum

ash ketchum: so when do u plan on telling him u like him?

you: no way in hell that's happening he doesn't like me

ash ketchum: how do u know?

you: i just know and i don't know if i can deal with my heart getting broken

ask ketchum: i'll kick his ass but do it! please just think about it

you: that's fucking hilarious ash maybe just maybe i'll think about it

ash ketchum: yaaaaaaaayyyyyyy 🎉

you: don't get your hopes up too high gtg love u 💖

ash ketchum: gbye 💓✨

-

"no fucking way i'm confessing my stupid crush to chris," you mumbled to yourself, "no fucking way."

grabbing your phone once again, your thumb hovered over chris' contact, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth as you balanced out the pros and cons; the cons most definitely outweighed the pros. so you turned off your phone and tossed it to the side, heart thumping harshly in your chest.

"but what if she's right? what if he does like me and then i'm just the dumbass who didn't do shit about it."

"yeah, but what if she's wrong and i'm right? then yet again, i'm a dumbass."

"mhm, and what if i tell him, he likes me, and then we start dating?"

yes, you had just had a full-blown conversation with yourself, but it didn't matter since nobody was home to hear you. you made very valid points to yourself, but they simply ended up leaving you even more confused. your hands picked up your phone from its spot on the blanket, using your thumbprint to turn it on, quickly pressing chris' contact, beginning to type.

-

1:10 pm message thread: nerdy bOi

you: chrisssssssssss

nerdy bOi: y/nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn what? 😂

you: is your dad home?

nerdy bOi: nope why?

you: can i come over so we can finish playing that game?

nerdy bOi: hmmmmmmmm

you: bro plz i'm bored as hell gonna die of boredom

nerdy bOi: ok fine hurry and bring snacks

you: i am a snacc wym? 😂😂

nerdy bOi: i'm screaming but seriously, being snacks i have soda at home

you: alright m8

nerdy bOi: nO

-

your cheeks were red at your own remark, but dread pooled in the pit of your stomach at how easily be deflected it. you shook your head, getting up and slipping on a spaghetti strapped tank top and some comfy sweats, a pair of slides already on your feet. before leaving, you brushed your teeth and hair, splashing water over your face, nerves stirring up your insides.

you quickly texted your mom that you might be out when she and dad get home, but to not worry because she would be at chris' playing a video game. you grabbed your keys to the car your older brother gifted to you when he got a new one, a nice suv that he bought with his own saved up money. you appreciated it and the car worked perfectly, it was just a bit dated.

slipping into the driver's seat, you quickly picked up some bags of chips then drove to chris' house, rapping your fingertips against the steering wheel in a nervous haze, chewing down on your lip as you grew closer to his house. pulling into his driveway was the worst because there really was no going back now. before getting out, you adjusted the mirror and applied a thin layer of clear lip gloss, spraying one spurt of perfume, then picking up your phone.

-

1:21 pm message thread: ash ketchum

you: wish me luck @ chris' rn gonna die and it's your fault

ash ketchum: you got this! 😘

you: thx :)

-

you walked up to his door, hands clasped tightly around your key chain, the edges of your house key digging into your palm slightly. knocking on his door, you waited for him to answer, phone warm in your hand. the sound of footsteps was light before the door opened, the blond beaming down at your and beckoning you inside. he moved to the side as you walked in, your arm brushing his chest, you sucked in a breath.

"i didn't forget the snacks, so you're welcome," you held the bag of funions and doritos up, wagging them in front him before snatching them back when he tried to grab them. "uh-uh. not until we start the game because, knowing you, you'll finish them before we get to your room."

chris pouted, pushing his glasses up on his face, following you into his room. on the bed was a new pack of dr. pepper. he flopped down into his chair, leaning back in it, handing you a controller as he held his own. "can we open the chips now?" he asked, twisting in the black chair just as you threw the doritos, him fumbling to catch the bag.

you opened the funions, tossing one in your mouth and washing it down with a sip of soda. while you got comfortable on his bed, laying on your stomach, he got the game you two had been playing ready. when you took one final sip, the game started up and you guys played for a few hours, actually finishing up the game with ease.

well, chris died a few times, but stubbornly refused to admit how many times when you persistently teased him. he turned off his console, you and him eating from your bags and downing a few sodas, just talking to each other. it was really easy to talk to chris and that was on the list of the many reasons you liked him, one of the many reasons you'd probably never admit to him. you zoned out, eyes focused on the soda tab as you flicked it.

"y/n? hey," chris snapped his fingers in front of your face, making you blink and bring your eyes to him. "you've been so distracted, why?" the blond asked bluntly, blue eyes swirling with curiosity behind the frames of his glasses.

a small, awkward laugh filled the silent air, "what are you talking about chrissie? i think you're the one that's distracted. i mean, you did die like ten-"

"it was not ten!" he protested, "and don't change the subject." chris' chair was fully turned to you, his socked feet placed on the bed frame, leaning his elbow on the arm of his chair. "c'mon, we've known each other long enough, you can tell me anything," he said when nothing but a sigh left your lips.

another sigh parted your no longer glossy lips. "well, the real, real reason i came here was- well it was to tell you something," you hesitated, gulping down the rest of the dr. pepper in the can, throat tingling. "i, well, i have a huge ass crush on you and ashley told me i should just tell you and get it over with," you rushed out, a tight grip denting the can.

silence.

gut twisting silence.

chris cleared his throat, looking down at his lap, pointedly avoiding eye contact with you. your eyes dropped from his face, regret slouching your shoulders, toying with the soft blanket on his bed. his lips parted multiple times and each time he shut them, pulling at a string sticking out from the fabric of his chair. again, his lips parted.

but before he could get anything out, you hurried into a sitting position. "you really don't have to say anything. in fact, i would really prefer if you didn't. it was stupid to just say that- i knew you'd never like me back. it's just- i'm just stupid."

"sorry," he apologized as well, "i don't feel the same." chris spoke slowly and softly, watching as you pushed yourself off the bed and grabbed your items, slipping into your shoes and shaking your head. your eyes became glassy with unshed tears, but he didn't notice. didn't notice the keys dig into your palm, sliding a small cut into it, sprouting a small drop of blood. didn't notice the smile that didn't reach your eyes.

the smile was wobbly as you spoke, "you fine, really. it was stupid. sorry." and with that, she excused yourself, leaving behind a half eaten bag of funions. your slides smacked against the hardwood floors, then the cement sidewalk as you left the house. your lips trembled, throat constricted tightly, tears pooling in your eyes.

right as you got into your car, a shaky breath pulled itself from your mouth, your emotions now flowing freely along with the hot tears that slid over the curves of your cheeks. pressing your palms against the steering wheel, you placed your head atop them, choked cries shaking your frame. a few minutes later you pulled away and drove home, the skies dark when you opened the door to your house, parents still not back.

you instantly went to your room, slamming your door behind you, swiping angrily at your face when once again the tears flowed. "fuck," you cursed, slipping off your shoes as you slipped underneath your covers, curling in on yourself.

your phone dinged and you hoped it was ashley.

-

6:28 pm message thread: ash ketchum

ash ketchum: how'd it go????

you: fucking terrible he doesn't like me and i knew this was gonna happen and i hate that i'm so upset it's just a dumb crush so i don't even understand why i'm so sad

ash ketchum: oh i'm so sorry y/n i shouldn't of pressured u to tell him but maybe it isn't "just a crush" maybe u have serious feelings

you: nope i refuse to believe that bullshit wouldn't matter anyways probably just gonna go to bed gn

ash ketchum: u want me to come over tmr?

you: nah it's okay love u

ash ketchum: love u too and i'm sorry 💓

-

the phone light no longer illuminated your face when you placed it on the bedside table, pressing the blankets to your face and breathing, desperately trying to bite back tears that threatened to pool over at any moment. drowsiness slowly took over, numbing everything while you slipped into a sleeping state.

waking up was terrible, a headache pounding on your skull, eyes puffy and red from crying, a smear of mascara on your pillowcase. a groan filled the room, rolling onto your side and scooping up your phone. you had a few notifications, some from your family, a few from ash, then a few from the group chat. however, you ignored them all, burying yourself in the covers.

life sucked. love sucked. people sucked.

that was your conclusion.

and to avoid all three, you decided getting out of bed wasn't on today's agenda, despite ash blowing up your phone, asking if you wanted to go out with them to a diner. you ignored it, your stomach protesting with small rumbles and growls. lucky you, a pack of sour patch kids was tucked into your bedside table drawer, which you ate throughout the day, though you mostly slept.