#roughyear

Basically how I feel about this year... #TwentyTwenty #2020 #RoughYear #ComeOnNewYear (at New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/CES5w2-DJSU/?igshid=zw1r7gdbsvqr

Been a rough year. I’ve no idea when this will end. #japanlife #als @als_disease #roughyear #alliwantistogohome #imisslosangeles (at Wanitakashiro, Otsu-shi) https://www.instagram.com/p/B5kwyX_JEYv/?igshid=thy0qgqw5szo

#Roughyear * #btc #eth #ltc #cryptocurrency #trade #bitcoin

Things hadn’t gone how I wanted but I was confident in myself and my ability to shove those feelings deeeep in a box and shove them in the closet. I’ve always been taken advantage of. Accepted what little people would give me and pretended like it was all I needed. As the year went on the closet got fuller. I was running out of boxes so I pulled them all out and took a good look to try and clear some room. Maybe shove similar enough things in boxes together. As I took everything out and looked I realized I wasn’t happy anymore. I had shoved everything so far down not letting my self feel anything anymore. It came to the point when I just had to walk away. For myself it showed what I needed and that kinda friendship didn’t cut it anymore. I was done being forgotten, done being the “ well we didn’t want you to go out of your way” friend. Done letting myself be pushed to the side. So I spoke up and was promised bings would change. They didn’t so I stopped. Stopped grabbing the back of their shirts, stopped accepting things how they were and tried to move on. I thought not all was gone that at least I still had someone but in the end everyone looked forward. Not even glancing at what they had left behind. The picture of them in my favorite place no one looking toward the camera and replacements for my place already filled. Broke me in ways I didn’t think were left. Yes I did more this year. I went on adventures, made new friends not to replace what was lost but to at least cover the emptiness. I went out for drinks ,drove aimlessly, tried to distract myself but in the end as the clock changed to a new year I was alone and it didn’t matter what I had done. How I tried to change. I forgave people and let them back in but I’m always left disappointed. So no more.

When your dope ass roommate knows you were alone for #thanksgiving and brings you food from her #familygathering all the way from San Jose. Best co-villager <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 . . . . . #thankful #love #roughyear #notanymore #thisnapisgoingtobesogood

#soundsrighttome #roughyear #thereisalwaysnextyear