#roughousing

Using massage for "time-in" following a tantrum/meltdown

If your toddler becomes overwhelmed by big emotions which they find it hard to understand and process then "time-in" allows them time to use you as an emotional bolster to support them and teach them how to cope with feeling angry, sad, frustrated, excited etc. When your child requires physical reassurance and has calmed down enough for you to be able to talk about how they feel, combine a comforting hug with some gentle massage strokes on their back. Once fully calmed this could progress into a simple massage which can either distract from the situation or encourage them to talk about it depending on what is needed at the time. This can be as simple as drawing smiley/sad faces on their backs and getting them to tell you which one best applies to how they feel, or distracting them by driving a car on a mundane journey around their back (a firm favourite in our house: we drive the journey to preschool and walk fingers around her back to get out and go to the shop, stop at the drs etc).

Using massage during playtime

Massage isn't just something we can use to help our toddlers wind down and relax but can be used in conjunction to songs, stories and poems. I have made up massages to most of my toddlers favourite story books, drawing the stories across her back and getting her to join in with what comes next, actions or guessing games. We like to use massage to aid our physical play and rough housing to stop our toddler from making that all too easy transition from excited to overwhelmed and emotional.

Use of massage in scenarios like those described above is becoming widely recognised as an important tool not just for parents but also for older children in primary schools. The Massage for Schools Programme which uses basic techniques and principles such as those described here has been shown to improve concentration, improve peer inclusion, reduce bullying and improve emotional health.

If you would like to give toddler massage a go always remember the below key principles:

Always ask permission. Never massage your child without their consent. Remember by allowing them to have full control over when and where they are massaged we are teaching them important lessons about body ownership, consent and "good" & "bad" touch.

Allow your child to be in control over how clothed they are. Allow them to decide their limits and massage over cloths should they choose so.

Allow your child choice of where to be massaged. They may feel uncomfortable being massaged in certain areas of their body, again let them have control and adapt your massage appropriately.

Most importantly enjoy! Our little ones grow up so fast and being close to them is a joy!