How to Lie to a Behavior Analyst
Feb. Requests-4
In which Spencer and Y/N are dating and it’s great but the only problem is… she’s Rossi’s daughter
Warnings: semi-smutty scenes, dirty talkin… fluff, lying, horny!Spencer, spence being reckless and reader being scared 💀
Spencer Reid x fem!rossi!reader
All parts of this are up on my pinned masterlist!
“Ohmygod, Spencer!” Y/N giggled as she inspected his face. She sat on his lap, touching his skin where she had noticed a bruise.
“I know…” He groaned.
Y/N eyes flickered up to his. “And you didn’t think to tell me that the guy beat your ass before you knocked him out?” She said, talking about the unsub from the last case Spencer was on.
Spencer rolled his eyes. “Okay baby, first of all, he did not beat my ass. He punched me once before I hit him with a crowbar. And second, can we stop talking about creepy psychopaths so I can fuck you?” He asked watching her face turn red.
Y/N kissed his lips and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. His hands found her hips naturally and he kissed her back, rubbing his thumbs over the hip bones. Now, this process would have moved a lot slower had she still had pants on but the moment Spencer got to her apartment he took them off of her. Now she was just left in a pair of her underwear and a loose t-shirt.
She moaned as one hand slid from her hip and between her legs, rubbing softly. She pulled away from his lips and hid her face in his shoulder, breathing heavily.
His lips found her neck as he kept rubbing, chuckling at how wet she was and he had just started touching her. “You miss me while I was gone, baby?” He asked into her skin.
She nodded, a whine leaving her lips. “I missed you and those hands of yours.”
Spencer smirked and helped her sit back up so he could look at her face. “What about my di-“
His words were cut off by the sound of one of their phones ringing. He groaned and held onto her ass, not wanting to stop trying to make her feel good. Y/N kissed his lips and crawled off of him, smiling at the fact that his hand stayed on her ass as long as it could before she was out of reach.
She looked on her bedside table and groaned when she realized that her father was calling her. “It’s mine.”
Y/N cleared her throat and picked it up. “Hey, dad!” She smiled, glancing back at Spencer who pressed his lips together and widened his eyes.
“Good morning, Y/N/N my beautiful.” He spoke. He sounded extra cheery this morning.
Spencer climbed up next to her and placed his hand on her thigh. She glared at him with her eyes but smiled with her lips. “What’s up, dad?”
Somehow, Spencer ended up laying between her legs pressing soft kisses on the insides of her thighs. Y/N dropped her mouth open wanting to moan so badly.
“I’m having a dinner on Saturday night and I want you to be there.” Rossi said. “Uncle Hotch wants to see you. So does the rest of the team.”
Spencer looked up at her, smirking and nodding as he continued to tease her. She grabbed his hair and pulled it harshly trying to get him to stop with a smile on her face.
He did not stop. In fact, his lips turned into his tongue, licking and biting the insides of her thighs. His hands grabbed the outsides, squeezing roughly.
“Y-yeah! I would love to come.” She replied, her mouth falling open when his lips got closer.
Closer… closer… closer—
“Sweetie?”
Y/N snapped out of her thoughts. “Sorry, dad. Got a little uh… distracted. What did you say?”
Rossi chuckled on the other end. “Uh I know you’ve got this… crush on Reid but…”
“Sorry— what? You’re breaking up.” Y/N furrowed her brows.
“I said I don’t want you to have a crush on—“
“Whoa— sorry dad. I can’t hear you. I have something in the oven that’s gonna burn— gotta go. Bye, love you!”
She hung up the phone, tossed it somewhere and shut her eyes. Spencer propped himself up on his elbows and smiled at her. “You have a crush on me?”
Y/N rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna kill you.”
Spencer chuckled and swiftly flipped them over so she was hovering over his face. “By sitting on my face?” He quirked an eyebrow. “I’m okay with that.”
.•.•.•.•.•.•.
It was Thursday morning and Y/N though she would stop by her dad’s office and bring everyone donuts.
She walked through with the box and smiled at the people who greeted her. She walked into the bullpen, Derek spotting her first.
“Hey, Rossi Junior!” He called out. “Good to see you, girl.” He smiled as he hugged her. “Even better to see you with food.” He kissed her cheek as the other started walking over to them. Derek took the box from her and set it down on one of the desks.
Rossi and Hotch walked up side by side and Spencer behind them with JJ and Garcia. “Hi, sweetie.”
“Hi, daddy.” She smiled as he kissed both of her cheeks.
Hotch gave her a hug and greeted her swiftly. Garcia squealed as she hugged Y/N and rocked her back and forth. “Ugh! I haven’t seen this beautiful baby face in so long!” She said squeezing the woman.
“Pen— can’t… breathe.” Penelope apologized and let her go, pinching her cheek and going to see what kind of donuts she brought.
JJ and Emily hugged her next and then it got to Spencer. She glanced at his sexy face before nodding at him, knowing that he doesn’t really like physical contact.
It was crazy because she was sitting on his face not too long ago.
“So what brings you by, Y/N/N?” Derek asked, chewing on a glazed donut.
Y/N walked over leaning against a desk next to her dad who wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Oh, I was just on my way to work and I realized how much I missed you all so I brought you donuts and myself.” She smiled, motioning to both things.
She could swear she felt Spencer’s eyes on her. They usually were.
“Aw that’s sweet.” Emily smiled.
Y/N nodded. “I should really get going now.” She kicked off of the desk. “But I’m gonna go use the bathroom first.” She added.
Rossi rubbed her arm. “We’ll be in the round table room briefing so we’ll see you Saturday.”
Y/N smiled, kissing her father’s cheek. “See you all Saturday.”
They all said their goodbyes and she walked towards the bathroom.
When she got in there she smiled and waited by the door. A few moments later there were three knocks and she opened the door, quickly pulling her boyfriend in.
Desperate lips met hers and she reached behind him to lock the door as she kissed him. “I missed you.” She said in between kisses.
Spencer chuckled. “You saw me yesterday.” He smiled as her kisses grew deeper.
She hummed. “I wanna see you all day, every day.” She spoke, pulling away from him with a small pout on her lips. “How’d you get away from them?” She asked.
“I told them my mom called.” He whispered, pecking her lips. He gasped in shock when she hit his shoulder.
“Don’t use your mom to lie, Spencer that’s not nice!” She shook her head.
Spencer tilted his head to the side. “Would you rather me have told them that I was coming to make out with you or…” Y/N rolled her eyes.
“Whatever, get back out there. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She giggled, pushing him away gently.
Spencer shook his head. “No, you’ll see me tonight.”
She gave him a sweet smile. “Yours or mine?”
The man caressed her cheek gently. “Mine. I’m gonna cook you dinner with all of the fun kitchen gadgets you made me buy.”
Y/N scoffed. “Spence, you didn’t even have a can opener!” She patted his chest and laughed.
He chuckled and kissed her once, twice, three times before she pushed him away. “Go before they get suspicious.” She whispered.
Spencer reluctantly pulled away and unlocked the bathroom door, slipping out discreetly and leaving Y/N to stand there with a warm smile on her face.
.•.•.•.•.•.
It was Saturday night and Spencer watched Y/N try on four different dresses from his spot in his bed.
They would leave from the same place but take different cars so it wasn’t suspicious. Spencer would take the longer way there and Y/N wold take the short cut.
“I don’t know, I think I like the blue one.” She said, turning so she could see the back in the mirror. She had on a blue satin dress that had a little bow on the back.
Spencer bit his lip. “Yeah… I definitely like the blue one too.” He said, looking at where the neckline swooped down.
“Stop looking at my boobs and come zip me up, please.” He rolled his eye with a smile and slid off the bed, walking up behind her and slowly lifting the zipper, stopping right before it was at the end.
“Are you sure I can’t unzip you?” He asked. “We’ve got thirty minutes and with the way you look, I only need five.” He dipped his head down, kissing her neck.
Y/N’s shoulders raised and she hummed. “You can take the dress off me when we get back here after dinner.” She said, planting her hand in his hair. “I can’t get all messed up. The they’ll know we’re together.”
Spencer groaned and wrapped an arm around the front of her, swiping his thumb across her red lips. “I can’t wait to see this pretty little makeup all smudged.” He said lowly into her ear. Her mouth dropped open and her chest heaved.
She wrapped her lips around his thumb and shut her eyes, her tongue swirling around it. He groaned. “I honestly don’t think I could ever get it up for anyone else.”
Y/N smirked and popped his thumb out of her mouth. “Change your tie. It’s the same color as my dress. We’re gonna look like we’re going to freakin’ prom together.”
Spencer rolled his eyes and stalked over to his closet.
.•.•.•.•.•.
Spencer arrived at Rossi’s 20 minutes after Y/N. She was chatting with Garcia and JJ over a glass of wine. She looked so pretty laughing and smiling.
“Hey, kid!” Rossi greeted, snapping him out of his trance. He smiled at the man. “There’s wine in the dining room, dinner will be done soon.”
“Great.” He smiled.
He was about to make his way to the dining room but Garcia called his name. “Boy Wonder! Over here!”
He stopped and sighed before turning to them with a smile. Y/N smiled at him, crossing her arms and sipping her wine.
“Soooooo, what are you doing for your birthday this year?” The blonde asked, grinning.
Hopefully getting my dick sucked. “Uh…” He shrugged. “I think I’m just gonna take my mom out to dinner and go buy some more books.” He nodded.
Derek came up behind him, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Uh, no.” He shook his head. “You can do the mom thing just no books, you nerd.” He spoke. “I’m taking you to a strip club.”
Y/N’s breath hitched and she slid her tongue across her teeth. Spencer glanced at Garcia before looking at his girlfriend. Hotch and Rossi joined their circle.
“Uh… I’m okay, actually. I’d rather just stay home.” He nodded, sticking his hands in his pockets.
Derek scoffed. “Why? You got a girl or something?” Spencer tired and successfully avoided glancing at Y/N and shook his head shrugging.
“No, I just… don’t really wanna go see a bunch of naked girls.” I only wanna see one naked girl.
Emily snorted. “What planet are you from? What man doesn’t want to see a bunch of naked girls dancing around, swinging their hoo-has in your face?”
“Swinging?” Y/N grimaced. “What strip clubs have you been to?” She laughed.
Emily scoffed. “The good kind.”
Garcia shook her head. “Okay— anyway, I think Reid has a girlfriend, who’s with me?” She raised her hand.
Everyone including Y/N raised their hands. She pressed her tongue to the bottom of her mouth to keep from laughing.
Spencer rolled his eyes. “Guys I don’t have a girlfriend.” He said, pulling his hand out of his pocket.
“Why is your thumb red?” JJ asked, nodding at his hand.
Y/N pressed her lips together and looked at the ground.
Spencer opened his mouth but shut it again. “I was making Kool-Aid earlier and that stuff stains like a bitch.”
Y/N sighed and shook her head slightly. Literally everyone on this room knows I live off of Kool-Aid. Literally had a Kool-Aid man themed birthday part, I am so obsessed.
She looked back up to meet her father’s stare. Y/N/N, Can you help me with the Carbonara?” He asked, nodding his head to the kitchen.
She swallowed and nodded, putting a smile on her face. She glanced at Spencer before following her father into the kitchen.
“Ooh, It smells good, dad.” She hummed, hoping that he wouldn’t try and talk to her about what all the awkwardness with Spencer was about.
“I remember when you were a little girl and you first learned how to make it with me.” He smiled, leaning against the counter on his palms.
Her phone buzzed in her bag and she took it out quickly.
Dick Dealer💘
How to lie to a behavior analyst: Don’t maintain excessive eye contact, keep your voice even, say my name if you refer to me, don’t fidget— I love you
She inhaled deeply and slid her phone back in her bag, setting it on the counter. “I love cooking with you, dad.” She smiled.
Rossi nodded towards his spice organizer and she walked over grabbing the black pepper and garlic powder.
“Can you be honest with me for a moment, sweetie?” He asked as she sprinkled the seasonings in. She glanced at him.
“Yeah, always.” She shrugged, smiling.
He walked around the kitchen island and sighed. “Are you… involved with Spencer Reid?”
Y/N furrowed her eyebrows and looked at him, her lips quirking up. “What? No, of course not.”
Rossi nodded. “I just… I just noticed some weird stuff back in there. The way you got… jealous when Derek mentioned taking Spencer to a— his birthday plans.” He grimaced.
Y/N laughed a little, trying to keep her voice even. She looked at her dad, making eye contact with him. “Well, like you said you did figure out that I have a crush on Spencer. I was just jealous about that.” She shrugged.
Rossi nodded. “A-and I’ve noticed how weird it is that you seemingly ignore him when we’re all together. What’s up with that?”
Y/N scoffed. “God, dad. Do I need a lawyer or something? Why are you grilling me?”
The father sighed. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I’m just a little protective.”
His daughter smiled and looked back down at the pot she was stirring. “No, it’s okay. I get it but there’s nothing going on between Spencer and I.”
He smiled and kissed her head. “I’ve got it from here if you wanna go back out with your friends.”
Y/N bit her lip. “I think I’ll stay here with you. We need to catch up. How’s Crystal?”
.•.•.•.•.•.
At dinner, Spencer sat across the way from his girlfriend. He was sitting beside Rossi so there was no way he could see the looks that he was giving Y/N.
He was mostly giving her worried looks because she wasn’t making eye contact with him at all.
Once dinner was done, she stuck around to help clean up. Spencer bit his lip as he left the Rossi household, glancing at Y/N through the window before getting in his car and driving home where he would meet Y/N.
.•.•.•.
“Fuck!” Y/N panted and rolled off of him. Spencer gripped her hips even as she collapsed on the bed beside him, squeezing his eyes shut.
She shut her eyes and bit her lip, scooting forward to wrap her legs around his waist and laying her head on his chest. “M’sleepy, Spence.” She mumbled.
“So what did you and your dad talk about?” He asked, rubbing her skin.
Y/N popped her eyes back open. “Are you really asking me about my dad not even thirty seconds after I rode your dick?” She grimaced.
Spencer chuckled. “M’sorry, baby.” He kissed her head. “I just— you got all weird during dinner. You weren’t even looking at me.”
Y/N sighed. “He just asked me if I was ‘involved’ with you. I denied it, of course but I’m still not sure that he fully believes me.” She shrugged. “Did he say something to you?”
Spencer shook her head. “Nope.”
Y/N bit her lip. “Good.” She pressed her forehead into Spencer’s chest again and kissed it. “I’m going to sleep unless you wanna go again?” She smirked.
“You horn dog. Go to sleep.” He chuckled. “I love you.”
Y/N hummed and giggled sleepily. “I love you.”
An hour later Spencer was still awake, running his fingertips across the bare skin of Y/N’s back gently as she slept. His phone buzzed on the bedside table and he sighed, pausing his movements and reached over to grab it.
Rossi
I know she thinks you two are hiding it well. I’ll let you get away with it for now. You hurt my daughter, I shoot you in the face.
Spencer’s eyes widened and he almost groaned loudly had Y/N not been asleep on his chest.
He gulped and put his phone down deciding that he wouldn’t tell Y/N that her dad knew about them until it was a problem.
Which even when it was, he would still do everything to make sure she never got hurt.
.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVED WRITING THIS OMGGG
AND I LOVE YOU READER (WHO ASKED NOT TO BE TAGGED) If it’s not how you’d hoped, I will happily rewrite it:)
Spence and Y/N really we’re just horny this entire time💀 also Derek is an asshole 😭



















