#rosleep

Remus drummed his fingers angrily on the table, his green eyes trained down on them intently. He wasn’t actually looking at them, his thoughts were miles away. This didn’t tend to be a good practice for him as he generally ended up making himself even angrier than he had been when he started doing it. But at the moment, it was better than staring at his friends across the room being adorable together. 

So, where in his mind was he at the moment? Right now it was childhood, smack in the middle of his teenage years. Before he managed to develop angrily drumming his fingers as a way to help himself control his irritation, he tended to do much more outwardly obvious and destructive things. His childhood bedroom had all sorts of nicks and dents in the walls and ceiling from where he’d thrown different things against them in frustration. Sometimes they were things like toys or stress balls - stuff that one might more commonly throw around. Other times it was his phone, his computer mouse, a stapler… Anything that had been in his hand when the urge struck. His parents didn’t exactly encourage this behavior or anything, but they also knew he was dealing with a lot at a time when hormones and the difficulties of teenagerdom were at their peak.

Remus didn’t have a soulmate. Everyone that he’d ever met did. That was what it boiled down to. It might not have been quite so bad in the beginning if it wasn’t for his brother. Having a twin in a situation like this could have been helpful if their identicalness went all the way down to lacking in soulmate markings. But of course, Roman had one and he didn’t. It hadn’t been a problem until they’d become teenagers and really started to bicker. They’d always been close, but brothers fought. It was just how things went. And when Remus started to grate on Roman’s nerves? His brother had ammunition that would shut him up every single time without fail. Someone else might have learned to stop starting shit that historically ended poorly for him every single time, but Remus was quite the individual. Going along with the mold or with what the common person might do was always going to be the first thing he avoided.

It genuinely was a natural instinct, but as time went on it became something he began to do consciously until it was even more a knee jerk reaction than it might have been otherwise. He was different, it was just how it worked. Whatever someone “normal” might do, he ran from in the opposite direction as hard as he possibly could. One of the cornerstones of that had started right there. 

But that was where his mind was. Remembering a particularly irritating argument he’d gotten into with his twin, though he barely remembered how it started after all these years. He’d started picking at Roman - poking at his need to be perfect, his obsession with his theater shit, his specific diet, his particular workout routines… He picked and picked until Roman finally exploded, whipping around and reminding him that maybe shit like this was why no one would ever want him. Cruel, but in retrospect, he didn’t blame him. Not anymore, anyway. At the time he wanted to shove him off of a roof into a pit of spikes, obviously. 

It had all stopped once they’d gotten through that phase though. That period of time where hormones were raging and everything felt catastrophic all the time. He knew Roman would never do that now, he was actually the first person to jump to his defense if he was there and a snide comment was ever made. Remus didn’t let many people find out he lacked the markings that signified a soulmate. But sometimes even without that information, people could make a vicious comment that hit closer to home than they’d ever have realized. Something about Remus’ antics meaning his soulmate would have their work cut out for them or “imagine what ending up fated to that guy would be like, I’d rather have no one at all than be attached to that mess.” That one nearly had Roman punching someone out in the middle of a public park. 

Moments like that were what had created the persona he projected. He was different, he wasn’t going to fit in. His whole identity was rooted in the fact that he didn’t belong and that he was for no one. And if that was the case, he was going to be as for no one as humanly possible.

He wasn’t sure if this trip down memory lane was supposed to be helping him, he was just aware it was certainly happening. Maybe the memory of childhood stung, but the transition to how his relationship with his brother had evolved helped? Maybe? Whatever. It kept him from looking at his best friend and his adorable little soulmate for a few precious minutes, and that had been all he’d been aiming for. 

Remus glanced up, at least Patton wasn’t feeding Janus bites of his pastry or wiping his cheek clean of crumbs. They’d gone back to just standing together and waiting for their drinks to be ready. He knew why they were in this coffee shop - it was on Roman’s rotation. The large soulmark on his back was clearly coffee oriented. The largest part of it was a steaming mug, complete with foam art, and up at the top was a little… Metal arm cup thing, pouring coffee into the mug. Roman had told him the name, it was something to do with an espresso machine. He hadn’t retained it. Anyway, it led Roman to believe that he was looking for someone heavily involved in coffee - more than just drinking it. Ergo, they spent a lot of time in coffee shops.

He’d talked to Roman at length about it - during that brief period of time he’d had with his brother where he’d matured past taunting Remus about his lack of a soulmark, but hadn’t quite matured enough to realize that his twin was never going to want to talk to him about soulmates even as a concept. Thankfully, that brief period had come and gone. But during that time, while he was doing his best to just grit his teeth and get accustomed to the fact that was going to be his life, his brother had come to the conclusion that his mark was fairly literal.

Some people’s soulmarks were very on the nose, some much less so. A lot of people held the belief that the type of person your soulmate was was what determined the style of mark you had. Beyond the obvious that whatever it was signified them in some way. His best friend Janus had paw prints all over him, not just on his back like most people seemed to have. Then he’d met Patton in high school, coincidentally Roman’s best friend, and it was very clear that that little puffball was an open book. So the idea that the placement signified that he had nothing to hide and had no qualms about being himself seemed to follow. In contrast, strictly on Patton’s back, were golden scales. A literal set of the Scales of Justice that were completely in balance with nothing weighing down either side. Patton had long wondered what that could possibly mean, the only thing he knew about scales was that he used them to weigh fruit at the grocery store. It had tracked to Remus fairly immediately, but he’d known Janus better than anyone - up to that point. If there was one thing his best friend didn’t abide, it was being screwed over. The fact that Patton and Janus ended up getting degrees in veterinary science and law, respectively, ended up making a lot of sense.

But what did Remus have on his back? Freckles. That was it. His twin had them too, but not as many as he did. He assumed it was because whatever cruel cosmic entity that determined fate had cleared that space for Roman’s stupid coffee cup. So he got a soulmate while Remus got to look like a poppy seed muffin - Patton’s words. 

He didn’t let it run his life, even if it pissed him off from time to time. Mostly just in situations where it was in his face. Like coming along to another coffee shop with his brother and their best friends: the adorable couple. He didn’t understand how in a group of four, he still managed to feel like a third wheel, but here he was. Sitting at a little table, angrily eating a croissant. None of them really knew how much he was in his feelings today, he’d gotten pretty good at hiding it when people were looking. That had a lot of pros and cons to it, though. On the one hand, he didn’t get pity comments or looks from people who knew. On the other hand, he let himself be dragged out on these little excursions because his brother and their friends wanted him to get out more and none of them knew how much he really didn’t like doing this particular thing.

His ears perked up when he heard Patton’s name called for the drinks, watching as he and Janus picked up all four of theirs and turned toward where he was sitting and holding the table. He reset his face and stopped drumming his fingers, watching as they approached and joined him.

“Here you go, Remus!” Patton said cheerily, handing him an iced whatever the hell. Another thing Roman had told him the name of that he hadn’t retained. His brother had figured out what Remus liked and apparently Patton had retained its name, so now he generally ordered and bought him one when they did this. 

“Thanks, Patgasm.” He smirked, taking the cup and watching as Patton immediately stuttered in his movements as he heard it.

Janus quickly shot Remus a look. “Must you?” “What? It’s a compliment.” He shrugged, taking a sip of the drink he’d been handed and then pulling the straw from his lips with an exaggeratedly pleased sound. “Or was it that you’re feeling left out? Hmm… Haven’t used Janussy in a while, does that feel better?” “Remus...” Patton was blushing, whispering and clearly trying to get him to keep his voice down in public. It was all par for the course. 

Janus was too used to him. He just rolled his eyes and responded, unaffected. “Are you in a mood today? Or are you just sexually frustrated?”

Remus brought his hands to his cheeks in shock. “Wait, you’re saying you aren’t? Wow, way to overshare. Finding out what you two get up to was not on my bingo card for today.”

“Remuuussss…” Patton hid his red face in his hands. Remus and Janus turned to Patton before glancing back to each other. He didn’t always start stuff like this, but at least he’d been courteous enough this time to only do it in a mostly empty coffee shop. It was still clear Janus had caught on that something was actually eating at Remus that day, but also knew that it wasn’t going to come up in conversation right now. Or potentially ever.

Remus silently agreed to stop it there, his friend knew him too well. He also didn’t want to actually make Patton combust, he liked the puffball even if he was the embodiment of what was wrong in his own life. “Fine, fine… What, do you just need me to be on my best behavior to meet your friend today? Is that it?” Janus quietly gave Patton a couple comforting rubs to his back, not watching Remus roll his eyes about it. “I’d say yes, but honestly if you can shake him, I'd genuinely be impressed. He’s very composed.” 

Patton pulled his face from his hands, his cheeks having mostly cooled down, and looked back to Remus again - clearly planning to just move on from all of what had just happened. “I think you two will get along really well! You’re both really clever!” Both of them raised an eyebrow at Patton, clearly in disbelief of what he just said. Patton just huffed. “You are! You’re so quick with the little names and puns and stuff… And I’ve seen some of those big medical books you read.” “Pat, he doesn’t read those because he’s smart, he reads them because they’re gross.” Janus interjected. 

“They’re still hard.” Patton shot back. 

Remus opened his mouth to say something about just how hard, but Janus quickly held up a hand. “Anyway. I do think you two will at least have plenty to talk about.”

He just got another sip of his drink before slumping back in his chair. “You two are so obsessed with me making friends... How do you even know him, again?”

“He went to college with us. He just moved to this side of town so we - we meaning Patton - thought it would be nice to invite him to meet our friends. He could probably use some too.” Janus explained. 

Remus sighed dramatically. “And I’m sure it’s on purpose, but you not telling me his name really is cutting into my come up with nicknames time, you know.”

“It's Logan.” An even voice from above him spoke. 

He whipped his head up to find the source, realizing that the man had walked up from behind the chair he was sitting in. The plan was to immediately make a comment, something. Janus had issued him a challenge by saying he wasn’t going to be able to mess with this guy and backing down wasn’t something he’d ever been good at. He’d never even tried, to be honest.

But he just had to pause. This man was smoking hot. It was plain as day to see, even if he seemed to be trying to cover it up with all the nerdy little details. He was dressed somewhat business casual, the tie that was so immaculately tied beneath the collar of his long sleeve button up was a bit out of place in the coffee shop - though, honestly, he pulled it off. Remus had teased Patton in the past for those thick glasses he wore, but for whatever what appeared to be the exact same pair sitting on the newcomer’s striking features gave off a completely different vibe. 

He’d said his name. Remus had to quickly rewind the tape in his mind to find it, the information had been buried under his visual assessment. “...Logan. Man, I wish I hadn’t wasted -gasm on Pat before you showed up, Logasm is so much better. But, huh. Blowgan is pretty good. Let’s stick with that one for now.” He rattled off, smirking as he looked up at him from his seat.

Patton squeaked again and Janus rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time, but Logan just quirked a single eyebrow. “You must be Remus. It’s a… An experience to make your acquaintance.” Remus was watching Logan’s face as he spoke, noticing he held his hand out to shake only in his periphery.

It wasn’t something many would think of when they thought of Remus, but he was pretty good at reading people. He’d met Janus and had instantly known he was someone who’d take his general manner of being in stride. He could tell when one more word would be too many for Patton. And right now… Logan’s expressions were very subtle - when he’d raised an eyebrow at the first thing Remus had said to him, not a single other muscle in his face had moved. But what he’d just said… There was a nearly imperceptible quirk to the corner of his mouth. He was amused. Either by what he’d just said or by Remus’s failed attempt to get a rise out of him. Oh, it was on. 

Remus stood fairly quickly, hearing Janus let out a huff of a laugh at Logan’s response as he did so. But he ignored it, just slapping his hand into Logan’s to shake. They fully met eyes as they actually shook hands and something in the way they looked at each other told the other one more than enough about the strength of their character. Not only was it absolutely on, it was going to be fun too.

It went a bit slower than Remus would have liked from there, but it was undeniable that that had been the start of it all. The next time he ran into Logan was in that same coffee shop a week later, another outing orchestrated by Patton for them to all hang out again. Logan still managed not to react to anything Remus said with anything more than a slight moving of his eyebrow. And sometimes he didn’t even give him that.

The next time he managed to catch him was in that coffee shop yet again, but it had just been the two of them that time. It wasn’t planned or anything, Logan just happened to come in for a beverage while Remus was sitting inside sipping his own. Remus certainly hadn’t been hanging out there for the last couple mornings to see if he would come by, that would imply he cared about this little game. Which he didn't, it was casual. Only when it was convenient and the man was directly in front of him. Past that? Out of sight, out of mind. 

That meeting was the one where Remus finally got Logan’s phone number, not so much asking for it as much as challenging Logan that he wouldn’t be able to handle hearing from him when he wasn’t prepared to. He had retorted that he hadn’t expected him to be in that coffee shop that day as he was handing his phone over, but Remus waved it off as having still been a known possibility. Either way, they exchanged numbers.

Remus started texting him, but only occasionally. Not too often. Just sometimes. Like if he woke up and had something funny to say. Or something especially disturbing came up in one of those medical books he liked to read. Or if he wanted to try and catch him off guard with something gross while he was eating.

Sometimes it backfired, just a little. Like if Logan quickly sent back a response that made him exhale hard through his nose, or god forbid, actually smile to himself. But there were no witnesses, so it didn’t happen. The biggest thing that had gone awry was actually Logan’s reaction to the first time Remus texted him a picture of a particularly gross image from one of his books. Rather than being correctly disgusted, he asked him about the book. Then asked him about other books he’d read, where he went to get these books on this side of town… And then them planning to meet up at the bookstore.

It was the very first time they hung out alone on purpose. And it was… Fun? He wasn’t supposed to actually be... But he had a really good time. They walked around the store, Remus pointing out things he’d read - mostly horror novels and books on diseases, and then Logan doing the same - predominantly biographies and historical pieces. Remus had been prepared for them to be as boring as watching paint dry, but most of them genuinely weren’t. He even bought a book Logan recommended to him that he was looking forward to reading - a very thorough examination on Jack the Ripper. From there, it just continued and continued over the next several months. He took Logan to the medical museum to see a biological exhibit that even Janus hadn’t been willing to stomach. Logan took him to the interactive science center so he could play in the gross lab. They went to an escape room. They went to the aquarium. They went to the planetarium. Remus even managed to get Logan to go axe throwing. The nerd had a surprising arm on him.

It wasn’t even always things they went out and did. Sometimes they just went to the other’s house. Sometimes they played games, Logan owned a surprising number of board games for someone who lived alone. But they usually just watched tv together. True crime documentaries and docuseries, horror films and shows… Halloween baking competitions, regular baking shows… 

Remus didn’t know when the transition happened. Somewhere between the gross lab and the aquarium? Or between the edible horror pieces and the fancy cakes? He’d been so focused for so long on trying to just get a rise out of this guy, he didn’t notice when it very clearly no longer appeared that that was his goal.

He’d met up for lunch with Roman, catching up like they did every other week or so for years now - mostly because Roman had been trying to ensure Remus left his house on occasion. It wasn’t necessary as of late, but he had no reason to throw off the tradition. Or at least, he hadn’t had a reason.

“Hey, are you going to tell me about this boyfriend of yours?” Roman asked, far too casually, like what he said wasn’t completely insane. 

Remus looked up from his phone to look back at his twin like he'd just gone completely off the deep end. “What? What in the absolute shitting fuck are you on about?” 

Roman gave him a look. “Oh save it, Reems. You’re with him all the time. You’ve never spent time like this with anyone. You’re literally texting him right now.”

He just scoffed, putting his phone down indignantly. “Shut up. You know I don’t do that. Never have, never will.” He was refusing to make eye contact with him, looking down at his drink and starting to fuss with the straw.

Roman was prepared to argue with him, but he knew his brother. He’d genuinely started to care about Logan and he definitely hadn’t meant to. He was not at all prepared to confront how he was now realizing he felt about him, and he certainly didn’t see this ending in any way that worked out well for him. Roman stayed quiet for a long while, deciding if he was really going to do this. If he was really going to bring up the Thing. He didn’t see a way around it. “...Have you talked to him about…” He trailed off, he knew he didn’t need to say it. 

“No. Why would I? It... It doesn’t matter.” Remus shot back, though he still wouldn’t look at him. 

“...Have you seen his?” Roman asked, still mostly trying to be gentle. 

He just shook his head, letting out a sigh. Roman wasn’t being an asshole, he just... Remus really didn’t want to think about the fact that Logan would certainly end up with someone eventually. And their friendship, or whatever it was between them, would definitely change when he did. “He always wears long sleeves.” He let out a huff of a laugh, smiling a bit in spite of himself. “Even axe throwing.” 

That made his brother laugh. “I still can’t believe you got him to go axe throwing of all things.” 

Lunch lightened up after that, the twins just letting the topic drop. Roman had confronted Remus with the fact that this was something he was going to have to deal with at some point and he didn’t plan to do anything past that. He worried about his brother, but he was an adult. He couldn’t protect him from this. 

Remus had let it go. At least he’d told himself that he had. But he clearly hadn’t, because it was later that night over at Logan’s house that his b… That Logan noticed something was definitely going on with him. 

“Remus, what is on your mind?” He asked, seemingly out of nowhere - at least in Remus’s opinion. 

“What?” His attention snapped back from wherever far off place it had fled to. Apparently he hadn’t actually been watching the television, he’d just been staring forward.

“You missed an opportunity to make a joke that you wouldn’t have normally passed on.” Logan gestured to the television. 

“I can still make it, if you want to rewind. Hate to deprive you of my wit.” Remus remarked, trying to ignore the initial question. 

But Logan was far from falling for that. He paused the show and turned his body to give Remus his full attention. All he had to do from there was his signature eyebrow raise.

Remus huffed, crossing his arms, turning away from him and staring at the wall. He didn’t want to get into this, he didn’t want to blow up his entire life before he absolutely had to, and if Logan’s soulmate wasn’t here yet to cockblock, it wasn’t that time yet.

“You’re concerned I am going to meet my soulmate and stop spending time with you?” Came Logan’s voice.

Remus spun around, realizing at that moment that he’d apparently popped up from the couch and started pacing and wildly gesturing his arms, and that he also apparently said that thought out loud. No going back now. 

He groaned and dragged his hands down his face. “FUCK! Fine! Yes, okay? That’s the thing. You’re going to have some smart fucking person come along and be your person and you’ll want to spend all your time with them because that’s who you’re meant to be with or whatever and I’ll be alone again. Like always.”

Logan was just watching him. “...You seem so very convinced there’s no possible way that it could be you.” 

Remus laughed. A loud, humorless exhale that nearly sounded manic. He ripped his t-shirt off. “I can’t be! I don’t get one! I don’t have anything!” That was one of the first times Logan actually looked thrown off. It was clear he hadn’t expected that, he might not have even known that was a possibility. It took him a moment to seemingly collect his thoughts. “...I hadn’t brought it up because I never cared much about the concept. If I found someone I wanted to be with, to spend time with, then I would. The idea that some force determines what I should or should not do never sat well with me. But.. Remus, it has to be you. It simply…It couldn’t be anyone else. And even if it was, I don’t care. I don’t want some stranger, you’re the only one I've ever spent so much time with and you’re the one I want to keep spending time with.”

Remus’s energy had all fled him after that, he just stared back at Logan until he composed himself enough to respond. “...What do you mean it has to be me?” 

That was when Logan began to unbutton his shirt. First the small buttons on the cuffs at the ends of his sleeves, then the main line down the front. Once he had, he pulled it off. Logan was absolutely covered in what looked like tattooed-on tentacles. They seemed to come from his back and wrap around his shoulders, his full torso, and all the way down his arms nearly to his hands. He turned around to show Remus that on his back there was a source of the tentacles - an octopus upon his upper back that had a hold on him like none Remus could’ve ever imagined. He’d never even seen anyone with markings that touched their stomach before, not even Janus who was covered in pawprints. That wasn’t the part that mattered to him right now. It was the fact that there was a subtle glow to the outline. He knew that only the person who was represented by the markings would see them glow. He was so sure he’d never know what that looked like.

He couldn’t stop himself, coming forward and grabbing Logan’s arm, tracing a tentacle from his wrist all the way to his chest. He was, for the very first time in his entire life, utterly speechless. He eventually managed to look back up at Logan’s face, and it struck him that he actually got two things out of this revelation. His hand trailing over Logan’s bare skin had apparently been enough to get the genius to actually blush and look flustered. The sight he’d been trying to see for months now. It was less important, but it still clicked in his mind that he’d finally succeeded. 

It took a while for him to find words, his eyes falling back down to look at the tentacles. It was the absolute largest and most in-your-face marking he’d ever seen - in media or real life. It suited him. But eventually he looked up, his expression concerned. “...But.. Then why don’t I…”

Logan was staring at him, ignoring the warmth in his cheeks. “Turn around.” 

“Lo, I don’t have-” “Just turn around.” 

He exhaled hard and spun on his heel, standing with his back to him. He heard Logan gasp, then felt his hands touching his back. “...I told you.” “No, Remus. You do. You have markings. Just... Just don’t move.” He was honestly so shocked by that statement that he completely froze, regardless of the fact that he’d been told to. He didn’t snap out of his shocked stupor until he felt Logan behind him again, something touching him. It wasn’t his hand, but he wasn’t clued in to what it could be until the very distinct scent of permanent marker hit his nostrils. He was... Drawing on him? Drawing him a soulmark? Logan pulled away and stayed quiet for another moment before he put his hand on Remus’s shoulder and pulled him around to face him again. He turned with a very confused expression, looking to see Logan still standing there shirtless with a sharpie in one hand and his phone in the other. It was the phone that he held out to him. Remus took it, seeing Logan had taken a picture of what he’d done on his back. 

He didn’t know what he was expecting to see, but the world’s worst connect-the-dot puzzle certainly wasn’t it. He didn’t even make a good picture. It was just a bunch of weird lines, they didn’t even all connect together. “Sooo, not to imply this is kinda anticlimactic or to shit-talk your art or anything, but uh... The fuck am I looking at?” 

Logan was smiling, his arms crossed over his chest. “Remus. Those are constellations. Fully accurate ones. Your back is completely covered in them. Your markings are stars.” 

Remus had about a million things running through his mind right now. Everything he’d ever thought his life was going to be had changed in two minutes. This was the last thing he’d ever thought would ever happen to him. His brain was fighting his mouth to decide which thing was going to be the first thing to actually escape him, and eventually something had to win. “...If they’ve supposed to have been stars this whole time, why aren’t they shaped like stars?”  

Summary: - Remy and Emile are recording a single for the tour together. Announcement is soon. - The Single has been announced: Gold Rush. The tour is in it's final prep stages

Disclaimer: All songs mentioned in this blog are not mine. They exist in the playlists shared below. I do not automatically align myself politically with the artists who's songs I may mention. I especially say fuck Morgan Wallen and Drew Baldridge, who's songs presence in Remy's discography unfortunately play a role in the plot.

- Dukeceit: Dukeceit would either dress up as Morticia and Gomez Addams or Cleo and Duece (Generation 1 of Monster High). In the case of the first couple’s costume, Janus would be Morticia and Remus would be Gomez. Janus In the case on the second costume idea, Janus would be Cleo and Remus would be Deuce.

- Prinxiety: Roman would dress up as a dragon and Virgil would dress up as a witch, so together they would be a Dragon-witch.

- Logicality: Logan would dress up as a jar of Crofter’s jam and Patton would dress up as toast/bread.

- Dukexiety: Virgil would dress up as a vampire and Remus would dress up as a bat.

- Rosleep: Roman would dress up as a prince and Remy would dress up as a knight.

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End Notes: Thanks for reading! As always, if you liked any of these headcannons and want to make fanart or fanfiction based on them, you can do so as long as you ask me first, and then credit/tag me in the post so I can see it.

-Monkey💜

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