#rosiewriting

thank you!! here's a little bit from chapter 2 of rebuilt

THINKING ABOUT IT AGAIN AND LIKE CRYING ABOUT IT.

FIRST OF ALL THE TITLE IS JUST 💥 AGHUEAHGU!?!? I just listened to Rose by the Oh Hellos for the first time??? HELLO??!?! HULLO!?!?!? “Wars are raising for her crusades to adore her” im on my KNEES.

But god im just… thinking…

You once said to me and I quote “he doesn't cry anymore :( poor sweet baby etho's soft heart is gone :(( I can't believe I introduced soft sweet baby etho just to fuck him up, I think i have to write some kidfic fluff or something to repent and recover” AND I STILL THINK ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME >:((( SOFT SWEET BABY CRYBABY ETHO?!?! A CHARECTARIZATION IVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE AND HERE WE ARE AND YOU’VE TAKEN HIM AWAY FROM ME BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY YOU’VE TAKEN HIM AWAY FROM BDUBS!! FROM BDUBS!!!

Stop it. Etho grew up. HE GREW UP. And Bdubs didn’t grow up, he might not be READY to grow up and Etho may look the same but he had 100 years of growing up and 🧨 🔥 I genuinely think next chapter Etho is going to explodificate. He was too calm. It was like he was repressing himself?!?! Like he was very… controlled. Kind of cold??!? And really holding himself back. You KNOW that every cell in his body is like *HUG HIM HUG THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF HIM KISS HIM AND AND UWHUHGUAG* LIKE?!?!?! AND OMG. Can you imagine how much he’s idolized Bdubs over the past 100 years? Do you think maybe he’s a little bit in love with the image of bdubs he’s created!?!? no stop. NO STOPP. And Etho… he isnt who Bdubs fell in love with all those years ago. He’s different. Oh my god im going to cry.

I have so many thoughts about odd little habits Etho probably has. He is driven by so much fear, i think, when it comes to Bdubs. AND REMEMBER THAT IT WAS BDUBS. IT WAS BDUBS WHO WANTED IT SO HE COULD GROW OLD WITH ETHO. But largely, Etho has suffered the consequences. Oh good lord. I think Bdubs is going to get siiiick of Etho hovering over hiiiiim. I think Etho is going to be nagging him and and, waking him up ever half hour when he’s sleeping to make sure he’s still around, and and and Etho’s gonna be lying on top of him and blowing up at little things and I think Bdubs will have to realize that etho is SCARED and HURT and oh good lord.

Anyways as I was reading this i’ve been listening to Rose again and again and OH MY GOD IVE JUST GOT IT IVE GOTTEN ITTTT AHFUHUWFH?!! I GET IT NOWW (watch me proceed not to get it)!! “CRUSADES TO ADORE HER” ALL THE KNIGHTS COMING TO TRY AND “RESCUE” BDUBS? “Are you losing her true nature when you loosen nomenclature” oh my god WHAT A LINE!!! EVER DAY ETHO LETS HIS KNOWLEDGE OF BDUBS SLIP A LITTLE BIT AND MUDDLES THE REALITY WITH HIS IDEAS AND AFUHAWUFHAUWf “I THINK WE GOT A LOT WE GOTTA LEARN” JUST LIKE. THEY WERE LITTLE KIDS WHEN THEY MADE THIS DECISION AND NOW IF IT ISNT THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR ACTONS?!?! “Call her a briar long enough and you’ll tangle up the true and the fable” OK IM KINDA TWISTING THE WORDS A LITTLE BIT BUT LIKE ok first of all them being surrounded by briars HULLO!?!?? And also and more coherently, Etho has TOOOTALLLY BEEN TANGLING UP THE TRUTH AND THE FABLE HES CREATED A KIND OF DREAM OF BDUBS OVER ALL THESE YEARS AND I THINK RELEARNING THE REAL BDUBS AND SEPERATING HIM FROM THE SLEEPING STATUE IF YOU WILL IS GOING TO BE SUCH A THING FOR HIM?!?!?!? “What is safe isnt the same as what is good” and “Change comes so cheaply for those of us already at the table” UAUGHEAUGHUE ETHO HAS CHANGED ETHO IS CHANGED AND BDUBS ISNT AND Im literally going to cry.

On a lighter note… Etho purring… you really do believe in love… I have never written an Etho fic where Etho doesn’t purr, its just how its meant to be. Ohhhh… my heart.

I love this book, dude. You’re a master of what you do <33

asdjhfdsg thank you shade :')))) you're so sweet <3<3<3

we're definitely gonna get more about what etho's thinking, and how he coped while bdubs was asleep :) I wish I had a snippet to share abt that but alas, I haven't had a chance to write the scene I'm thinking of yet

I apologize for how slow the updates have been coming out btw y'all, there's a combination of factors that's making writing very difficult, and I'm being forced to put what energy I do have towards my creative writing class since that's graded :/ I am working slowly but surely on chapter 4, promise! thanks for your patience <3

you're giving me an excuse to talk about the title!!! I've been hoping someone would listen to the song! you're pretty spot on, but just for fun I'm gonna pull some of my line associations from the song :) this post might be so fucking long actually

beware! while I'm not going to talk about actual events that will happen in chapters 4 and 5, I will talk about some of my process for character development that has been/will be central to the trajectory of the story. so, like, if you want absolutely no spoilers maybe read this later

the reunion, 2.9k

trouble in paradise

thank you so much <3 I think everyone needs to get more aroace now /j

somewhat embarrassingly, fanfic is what made me realize I was aro in the first place (emerald duo fics from my long, wonderful stint in the dsmp may it rest in pieces) and so I'm so happy to get to add to a small but significant number of authors who are out here showing how wonderful platonic affection can be :)

the reception of sweater curse has been so heartwarming bc I hear from ppl that this is what they feel like too! and the only other aro person I know is my partner so it's really amazing to find so many people who do feel similarly to me <3

I'm deeply unhappy with almost every aspect of it and I have some good ideas of how to fix it, so I would rather do that than let it be a dark spot on my list of works. I wrote rebuilt when I was super newly introduced to ethubs and I just don't think I was doing anything justice.

If there's anyone out there who really, really wants the old version of the fic, reach out to me in DM and I can share my document link with you, but otherwise I hope to have the new first chapter out soon! The new version will have a similar vibe but be significantly different, and I hope I will be infinitely more pleased with it :)