the chaotic ones -- the sunday dinners with him chasing his youngest siblings around the huge dining table while getting scolded by his mother. there’s a dog barking on the porch, june is sitting on the kitchen counter with an amused look on her face while everyone else is being ordered around by their mother. constantly, there is someone whining why doesn’t river help? and his mom just snorts and asks the same question. music is blaring, the smells of home fill the air and it feels like home. these just are so different than the ones he has at his father’s house and it’s when he feels the most comfortable, the most him. 

i think it would really depend on the family member. if it was anyone on his father’s side, i don’t think he would blink an eye. there is definitely a young, angry river out there that probably thought life would be so much easier if his dad were just... he can’t say it now. not anymore. if he lost any of his siblings, he would feel like a part of him was cut out of him. he wouldn’t be able to cope and would probably spiral. his younger siblings are like his kids. he practically raised them. june? she’s his soulmate. he would do anything for her and couldn’t imagine life without her. he doesn’t want to imagine it. his step-dad? his family would lose everything -- they would have absolutely nothing and that is enough to make him spiral. his mom? he can’t even think about that.

charlie is a soft soft boy and sex has a lot of emotions attached for him. so he likes sex and he likes hooking up but mostly he likes liking the person he’s hooking up with.

juliet thinks that she would be a good mother at a certain stage -- like the five year old stage. she could thrive with the uninhibited childish innocence and creativity and chaos that they would bring, but she’s terrified of anything before that. an infant? it feels too fragile in her arms. being pregnant? sometimes she forgets to eat when she’s in a creative rhythm and she doesn’t want that to come back to bite her. she knows she needs to learn to take better care of herself first, but she doesn’t think she ever could. she’s afraid she’s too reliant on other people taking care of her that she shouldn’t even think about having kids. but she loves just talking to kids and babies -- her eyes just light up and she’s in her element. but there’s a line she draws, an underlying fear.

in the past, yes. definitely. juliet loves sitting her ass on the floor of her bedroom with a glass of whiskey and making a beautiful card. she has trouble describing how she’s feeling with words, so she always has the visual of the card and all she can do is hope that the other person can feel her love. her past five valentine’s days have been spent with the same person so this last one was a little bit bittersweet. she’s just still trying to rinse the taste of him out of her mouth and she doesn’t like being alone on that day. it feels too real then.

checklist + blogroll. 

My brother dropping 12.31.18. Save The Date #RoseSZN 🥀 . . . Repost @bhmusicgroup with @get_repost ・・・ SWIPE LEFT 👈🏾🥀🌹 . . . “Forbidden” the Debut Album from our very own @ayoswayze arrives 12.31.18!!! .⠀ .⠀ .⠀ Features include @tzotherapper, @lirondayo, @ericking_ai, and @jehsinatra w/ prod by Yondo and @d.a.gonbang 🏆🏆🏆.⠀ .⠀ .⠀ .⠀ Winter of Winners. La Familia. .⠀ .⠀ .⠀ .⠀ .⠀ .⠀ .⠀ #newmusic #hiphop #soundcloud #rap #music #musicproducer #rapper #hiphopmusic #musician #artist #rappers #producer #bhmgfamilia #hiphopartist #spotify #hiphopculture #itunes #independentartist #mixtape #studio #rapmusic #dj #hiphophead #hiphopjunkie #upcomingartist #musiclife #unsignedrapper #newartist #unsignedartist (at Fort Lauderdale, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq0xrH0gdZ8/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=fif99es5wdnq