#rootchakrahealing.

"I only want to help you if you love me back."

Yebin, he's like that, not me.

Who?

Him, not me. I'm trying to open your eyes.

Michael will beat your ass without your consent, and he feels like he deserves to be in control of that, when you hadn't given him that control over yourself-- and even if you did? He's wrong for that.

Felix will rape. He has no qualms about it. He sees nothing wrong with raping "a bitch who deserved it." Then he asked the question that lit up the whole room:

"So how is it different to rape a woman versus spanking and humiliating her in public or private, without her consent, at any time?" "For her protection," Michael 정 answered immediately, not a beat stopped, not a second thought of consideration.

"Then, I'll protect Yebin by raping her, I promise. Because I don't want to stop raping. It makes me feel good. You said spanking her made you feel safe? Well, do whatever you want, because there's nothing different between you and I." "Wow, you spit fucking Game, Thor."

Then how is it possible that Michael could stop himself from spanking?

Yet, he cannot stop himself from raping.

And how is it that Felix can stop himself from raping...

But he refuses to admit that he was wrong for what he did.

"I chose to rape, not spank. So what's wrong with that?"

I had no words to answer him. He's been raped, and he lost his mind over it. Take away his consent one time, and he will lose his life trying to avenge himself. So he knows what is wrong with it.

I have nothing more to say.

똥파리 쌔기.

Why was Michael completely and utterly humiliated, emasculated when people started to see his energy as nothing more than a dung fly?

The Jeong men, known for their fierce protection over the Jeong women who often enter the palace for their intelligence, wisdom, and beauty, were highly sought after mates for their masculine nature. Only, all of the attraction, rooted in lust and sex.

Because the real truth of the Jeongs was that the family was riddled with domestic violence under the guise that it was protection. Men were strong, and women were the head of the home. So the men protected and sexed their women, doing their duty to procreate and protect the household, and the women bore and reared children. When the women failed as mothers, evidenced by disobedient children, strong Jeong men intervened to punish and chastise the children, thereby protecting their women. Shortly after, sex followed, creating a cycle of Paedophilic exhibitionism, and furthermore, as the cycle continued... Jeong/Jung children, especially the boys, were all the more resentful, angry, and taught violence at a young age, creating a cycle of reacting in violence, even towards their woman, under the guise of masculine energy.

As sex evolved, the relationships between Jeong marriages got even more convoluted. Involve Confucianism, when women failed at their "womanly duties" of being a demure wife and mother, the men intervened through discipline. Many Jeong families were entangled into Domestic Discipline relationships, not knowing that it was marital violence.

Thus, when I announced the way I saw Michael Jeung's energy-- just my opinion-- he felt emasculated and completely vulnerable, stripped of all title, rank, identity, and sense of self.

It was like he had shit and peed his pants in public as a fat boy in front of the whole school, when all I did was announce that I did not find his violence attractive.

He turned to violence to recuperate his perceived losses. His entire self identity was rooted into his sexual appeal. His appeal became obsolete, and he was not equipped to evolve. The Jeongs had been rooted in this idea for... thousands of years.

된장 무친 껫닙.

As for Felix...?

I don't know. I don't know if I wish I knew.

I once asked him, "Why do you rape...?"

But I think I know Felix... Because you see that the confiscation, by force, of consent is the scariest interaction in the universe, even more than love. Therefore, Felix-- Thor-- who was so badly hurted, sought to become his own fear.

At least that was my theory.

Because when I see him, I see this extremely, extremely unique blue. One of a kind blue. As dark as black, and more beautiful than any body of water to ever have been seen.

So how could someone whose energy is so blue... be so dark...?

A scary amount? It almost disgusts me that his energy could be so... no words can describe the beauty of seeing these blues lighten, darken, change. So who is Felix?

————

Edit: Perhaps I wrote with my belly full, so to speak. Born and bred into the upper class, it’s hard to understand how a slave born, such as Felix, could be keen to rape.

The confiscation of consent: slaves did not choose to be born, was not allowed choice, often raped by masters for disobedience and into submission.

And evidenced by our society today, perhaps it’s fair to consider that life can be unfair. Perhaps exactly as his mother said, he was born to avenge the slave class, but with his rape? Slaves often tried to rape their young ladies, if they could get away with it. It’s written into historical text as commonplace— evidence that the slave class deserved their slavery. Perhaps exactly as his mother said, he was born to avenge the slave class… again, but with rape? From my perspective, this is why the Upper Class scorns and scoffs the slave class.

Not all slaves had it bad. Ask Felix, survive the Shins again? Or live humbly?

난 된장 껫닙 맛있게 먹었어 용복아.

————

님, 처민들은, 다 이렇게나 건방지나?

June from Aprep: “너 된장 껫닙 좋아하지?”

“님… 미안하지만… 님도 좋아하지 아느세요?…“

“처민들이… 노비들을 많이 무시 하 군아…”

”현주아, 노비 되지말고, 왕의 동생을 모욕하지마. 용납 안하니까. 준쌤 음?“