#root makes things

what if, the real apprentice was the friends we made along the way

starring Mozarella Stick the Omniscient as Himself, & Ephemeral Snake as the Apprehensive Apprentice

date: 07/21/18

timestamp: 18:30

status: incarnate

final interview transcript:

agent: are you fully formed?

ompodge: hey. my eyes are down here

agent: my apologies. please answer the question.

ompodge: so far as i know

agent: do you mean humanity harm? please keep in mind we will be seeking an expert opinion.

ompodge: i mean you no harm. although i am not fond of some of your more recent cinema

agent: what do you intend to to now?

ompodge: i plan to travel. theres plenty of pennies i haven't eaten seen yet. and i feel like there is somewhere i need to be...some place with a very round friend...

[remainder of interview tape is entirely composed of static]

appendix h, expert interview:

agent: what is you assessment of the threat posed by the entity known as ompodge?

hodgepodge:

they pose no threat to humans, and only a minor threat to copper supplies and subpar remakes

agent: it did kill 25 of our staff

hodgepodge:

they did no such thing. have you checked recently?

agent: well, i--

[remainder of interview is only static. crossreference survival confirmation reports 16-9-x ID numbers 3285 through 3310]

date: 07/20/18

timestamp: 20:29

status: long

notes:

ompodge sightings increasing in frequency. the entity is making contact with remote locations via the manipulation of short wave radio signals. witnesses report ompodge asking questions that have no easy answer (see appendix e for a sample of these questions). ompodge continues to increase in complexity, but its motives, beyond wishing the downfall of jj abrams, remain unknown. agents have had limited success bartering for proohecies of the future with pennies.

appendix e:

1. what sound does orange make?

2. how does one ascertain what evil is?

3. why do you drive on a parkway and park on a dirveway?

4. what is love, baby dont hurt me, dont hurt me, no more?

5. what is the true nature of florida man?

6. is that dude okay like seriously. is he okay?

7. oh hey is that a penny?

8. may i eat that penny?

9. thanks dude i didnt have breakfast. you know how it is when you haunt the place

making up some ready-to-ship halloween hats for buddies, like the one mr. sticks the omniscient wears but also some other styles

maybe making a little how-to-measure-ur-plushies-head graphic so ppl can send me their plushie’s measurements & i can make that plush a hat (?)

on that one basically i need like, circumference of the plushie’s head, the distance between the ears, & the width of the ears, if the ears are going to need a little space to poke through the fabric

furb socks

crochet plant like, bows or sommat? like not bows but like, the fabric flowers u would stick in ur hair only like ppl stick them on plushies. i can do those shapes now

more dandelion dragons but not only dandelions. i want to do a thistle dragon next

patterns. i want 2 sell the patterns for my garden puppies but i have to ..... actually write down what i do in order to do that & i’m not happy w/ my pattern template yet

🌱🌱🌱

letters from Hodgepodge are 

Open Once More

plushieshrine presents:

An Odd Correspondence *

*pls help my friend eat

each letter includes:

* an edit of the heartfelt words of either Hodgepodge or Phoeborb, like you see here

* a full letter transcript

* an Odd Anecdote

* practical advice x2

* impractical advice x1

* Odd Saying x1

* the undying & heartfelt gratitude of all at Root’s Roost

hey all. some of you may know that i was offering these letters a while back. 

my friend is still not in a safe or stable living situation. we are working as hard as we can to get her to safety, we just aren’t there yet. it would mean a lot to me, if yall bought a letter to help my friend eat until we can find her new housing. 

i will write you a letter for each american dollar you donate

to help my friend eat, & get a letter from one of my Weird Dogs, donate via paypal to

[email protected]

with your blog handle, the name you would like the letter addressed to, & which Odd Author you would prefer.

Thanks, 

Root

🌱🌱🌱

Examples from the first round of Letters from Hodgepodge:

example sources w/ transcripts & more letters can be found in my Letters from Hodgepodge tag (please note that the new letters have a new, fancier & higher quality template image)

🌱🌱🌱

Coming Soon...