☆ : for a drunken voicemail

“Duuuude. You gotta get here, legit. This party is fuckin’ sick, no lie---do you remember tha’ chick from Fayetteville? She’s here. Her tits are fuckin’ dope, yo. Get here now or she’s mine.” 

☽: for the final voicemail ever received (think death, etc)

“I know we were supposed to hang out tonight, but Tam called and she’s in town and she really wants t’talk to me, man---m’thinkin’ I’ll just drive over an’ stay the night ‘til the storm passes? This rain is comin’ down in buckets, dude. Anyways, sorry bro. Catch ya.”

☎: for a voicemail not meant for you

“Fuck, you looked so fuckin’ good tonight, yo. You’re sure you can’ just come over for a lil’ bit? I know what you said, but fuck. I miss you. You’re the best thing t’ever happen to me, yo. I need you.”

♦: for an apologetic voicemail

did you talk to holly or mika omg

lol

"I can't just go say hi!"

“Why can’t you? You’re Romeo Haynes, future superstar and lax player of the world. You can do anything.”

"I guess, starting tomorrow, we can tell people."

“What, about our parents? Do you think people are gonna judge us or something?”

 "When I let a day go without talking to you, that day's just no good."

“Then I guess we can’t let that day go by again, can we?”

"If you keep acting this way, little by little, you're gonna lose me."

“Look, Rome...I’m sorry, alright? You know I care about you, just as much as I care about One Direction, I just- I get in over my head sometimes. And I think I can manage time better but I can’t. I promise I’ll show up to all your games from now on, and all your award ceremonies, and everything you need me to be at, and I’ll be your biggest fan, alright? Promise.”

"I was a teenage popstar in Canada." 

"In hypothetical terms, you scored last night."

“Haha, very funny. It’s not my fault I’m literally the world’s most awkward virgin.”

"I'm like Yoda, except instead of being green and little, I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro- I'm Broda."

“I really hope you don’t expect me to call you Broda.”

"Not awkward, guys. Not awkward if we don't let it be awkward."

“Yeah, uh....alright. But, uh, heads up? It’d be cool if you didn’t make out with my girlfriend. Thanks, man.”

 "It's not cheating if it's on the phone, right?"

“Dude.”

 "Is there any way we could just go back to normal?"

"Good luck on your date, I hope she's everything you're looking for"