#rome guide

It’s my last night in Rome so I thought I’d write a little tourism guide.

Firstly, how to get to Rome. It doesn’t matter how you get to Rome. Take a Ryanair for 30 euros. Take a 25-hour bus. Drive your own self or hitchhike. Fly in a hot air balloon, swim the Amazon, climb Mount Everest, parachute in like the Allies during the liberation of the Netherlands. Boat, train, car, plane, ice cream truck, it doesn’t matter, just get here somehow. Move mountains to get here. If you’re sick add it to your bucket list and make it a priority to come here. If you’re already dead just like rise from the grave and come back here to haunt the Eternal City. I’m dead serious. 

Lame puns aside, what do you actually do in Rome? In other words, why should you sell your most rare collectible Pokemon card (or if you’re Canadian, hockey card) to get here? Because, duh, you can like walk around in the Colosseum, which is basically the most ancient movie theatre ever. No special effects here, this is the real deal, and the stunts are CRAZY, almost always resulting in death. You’re guaranteed to see some blood and guts, up close and personal. You’d love this, of course, and probably cheer for your favourite gladiator and wear his merch or something, and then head on over to the Forum to chat about the fights afterward. Maybe pick up some olive oil on the way home. The family business hasn’t been doing too hot lately, so you stop by an altar to your favourite god (you change your mind every other day) so that you can stay in the deities’ good books. 

Well, you’re asking me, why are you describing Rome in the olden days when your tourism guide is supposed to be for like, the present day? Well my dear reader, you can still do these exact things (pretty much) and walk the same steps as the Romans walked over 2000 years ago. A bonus is that the food nowadays is WAY better - our Italian diet has consisted largely of the three main food groups: pizza, pasta, and gelato. You gotta keep it varied though, so start the morning off with some market fruits and then maybe a cappuccino and a pastry for a meagre 2 euros at a nearby caffe. You will love your life in Rome, especially if you eat outside of the centre. Then, after all this food that’s basically too good for even the angels in heaven, you burn it off by walking 551 stairs up to the tip-top of St. Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican, then wandering through catacombs that date back to the 2nd century A.D. Climb Castel Sant’Angelo, too, so you don’t feel (extremely) guilty when you get that two-scoop gelato (treat yo self!). 

Then just like, chill out, beside the ancient Tiber River under the shade of green leafy trees, enjoying the breeze and the scenery of the picturesque bridges, wondering how on earth you got so lucky (blessed) to be able to visit Rome. Roma - the home of thousands of years of history, the centre of the Roman empire, the Eternal City, the home of Roman Holiday and Audrey Hepburn’s most adorable haircut of all time, the centre of (Catholic) Christianity which also happens to be the world’s smallest country, and a hub for arts, music, Renaissance culture, the most beautiful language in the world, millions of Vespas, and oh did I mention history?

Anyways, if I didn’t convince you by now, I probably never will, so it’s probably about time to wrap up. Get! Your! Self! To! Rome! ASAP! You will not regret it more than anything you’ve ever not regretted in your life. And you know, maybe it’s not so hard to get here. After all, they say all roads lead to Rome.