#romantic lamp

They ask him to stand up. He does. They ask him to step with his right foot. He goes left. Everything is spinning in his head. It feels like it's on fire, like static electricity is crawling through it. He keeps twitching as he manages to sit in the stair chair. He prays he won't have another seizure coming up the stairs. Disjointed thoughts swirl in his brain as they carry him. He is right.

Instead, he has one as they transfer him to the stretcher, body jerking and twisting to one side. It hurts when he comes to again, awareness slowly coalescing. He stares up at the lights on the top of the ambulance as the paramedics talk around him, securing him for transport. He wants his boyfriends. He wants to be home. He doesn't want to be here, strapped into an antiseptic nightmare as the EMTs debate what vein to attempt an IV.

The needle briefly stings as it slips in, and Virgil's teeth sink into his bottom lip for just a moment. His thoughts are scrambled. He doesn't- he can't-what-

His body convulses, eyes staring unseeing at the top of the ambulance ceiling. It hurts. Everything hurts, his muscles jerking without conscious will or control. His breath comes in short, pained grunts as he desperately tries to breathe through it.

Awareness irises back in. The paramedic is giving him Ativan. They discuss the proper dose, but Virgil doesn't really understand what's going on. 

"What happened?" He manages to ask. They reassure him. He still doesn't know where Roman or Logan or Patton are. He vaguely remembers the idea of them following to the hospital. Did they? Are they going to come with him? They wouldn't leave him, would they?

Jostled as they come to a stop, Virgil is eased out of the ambulance and swiftly finds himself in a room, hooked up to what feels like a billion things. They tell him to stay still, so they can check his heart, and he obeys. He feels very sleepy all of a sudden. And he has to pee. He is suddenly dying to pee, but there's no one to ask, and his bed is now bracketed with yellow foam.

It feels like forever before Roman slips in.

"They won't let us all back here," is the first thing he says, and Virgil sags in disappointment, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He's still so relieved to see Roman, he has no words. The nurses are so nice, and the doctor was alright too, but he wants to see his loves.

"I'm sorry," Virgil mumbles. "I'm sorry 'bout-" He gestures vaguely around himself.

"No, darling," Roman says. "Don't apologize. You've done nothing wrong." He lifts a bag. "Brought your stuff. Including a phone charger, just in case they keep you overnight."

"Doesn't seem like they will," Virgil says. "The uh, the stuff they gave me in the ambulance helped."

Roman's face softens.

"Good," he says, soft but heartfelt.

"I am dying to pee," Virgil says suddenly, squirming in the bed. "Is there any way-"

"Oh, there's a call button, darling," Roman says, lifting something Virgil didn't even notice and asking for someone to come to the room. 

"They didn't tell me," Virgil says plaintively. "And the bed's old anyway- I didn't know."

"It's okay," Roman reassures him. Virgil has to pee in a cup, but at least he no longer feels like his kidneys are going to explode. It's not long before he's discharged with a sheaf of instructions. Patton and Logan crowd him in the waiting room, giving him a welcome boost of reassurance and love. Roman scoops him up, carrying him out to the car where he half dozes, half chatters.

"Want a treat," he murmurs. "Went to the ER. Wanna treat."

"Of course, darling," Roman reassures him. "Would the gas station be okay?"

"Yeah," Virgil agrees. By the time they reach home, he's set up with a soft pretzel and slushie. He nearly falls over himself as they situate him on the couch, but his brain is clearer than he's felt all night, despite the Ativan swimming through his veins.

"Love you," Roman murmurs in his ear. "Come on, sweetheart, let's get you to bed."

"Kay," Virgil mumbles as he finishes his soft pretzel. Logan presses a kiss to the top of his head and Patton speckles kisses across his cheeks.

"You'll feel better after some sleep," Patton assures him. "Don't worry, darling."

"We'll be right here," Logan promises. Virgil yawns, exhausted.

"Love you," he mumbles. "Love y'all so much."

It was nerve-wracking to ask her if they could do the walkthroughs at night if possible, he knew it was strange. But he also figured it would give him a higher of figuring out if there was an actual ghost on the property. This time though, she obliged him of his strange request.

Virgil didn’t bother trying to hide the spirit box he brought with him as he walked up to join Mindy in front of the house. Like pretending he wasn’t holding the contraption would eliminate the weirdness of it. Virgil coughed.

“Uh, ready.” Then he flipped the spirit box on.

Mindy glanced at the device but chose not to comment.

“…Right,” she said, unlocking the door and leading him inside.

Mindy chatted about the houses’ features. Two bedrooms, good for his roommate situation. Virgil’s attention was divided though as he also listened to the spirit box. So far, it was just static.

“You mind if I walk around on my own for a bit?” Virgil asked.

Mindy eyed the contraption again and then slowly nodded.

“The owner doesn’t live here, and it’s between tenants, so there’s nothing you shouldn’t touch. Just-be careful.”

Virgil nodded. “Yeah, of course I will.”

Virgil hurried his pace carefully up the set of stairs.

There was a widow’s walk up there that had the most reports of apparitions. Virgil figured he had the highest chance of seeing an apparition there.

“H-hello?” Virgil asked. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. “Are there any spirits here willing to speak with me?”

The box cycled. Virgil didn’t hear anything.

“Is Logan here?” he tried, “Will you talk to me?”

“No,” hissed the box, “Go away,”

Virgil jumped with a gasp, fumbling the box for a moment.

“Whoa…so cool.”

He actually got an intelligent response…on his second try! And then a full, if short, sentence. That exceeded his expectations.

“Uh, don’t worry! I don’t mean you any harm. My name is Virgil!” Virgil exclaimed. He was practically vibrating. “Did you mean no as in you’re not Logan, or no, you don’t want to talk to me?”

Virgil shook himself. That was probably too complicated of a question. He should know not to go for more than yes-and-no-

“Talktoyou,” spat the box.

“Oh my gosh,” said Virgil. “Oh my gosh, you’re an actual ghost in here. That is so heckin’ cool! You’re so cool oh my gosh! And you’re having a whole heckin- full blown conversation with my oh my gosh you’re so smart! You must be. Okay, okay, so you are Logan then?”

There was a longer pause this time. Virgil held his breath.

“Yes,”

Virgil jumped again slightly. Less so than the first time though. He then pumped his fist in the air.

“Awesome! Logan, you have totally just made my day- week, month, year, oh my, you are just, literally actually just talking to me! This is so stinkin’ cool!”

Virgil paused to take a breath and reign himself in. He was getting very excited, but he didn’t want to scare Logan off.

“Okay, Logan. I won’t make you talk to me if you don’t want to. Just know your very existence here, to me, is really cool. I hope you don’t mind me looking into this house. The last thing you need is more residents disturbing your peace. I’m hoping I can find some way not to disturb your ghostly existence if you’ll give me the chance though. I’ll try my best to make accommodations for you. You did live here first after all.”

Virgil winced at his last sentence, he probably could have worded that better.

Virgil waited a moment to see if he’d get anything else, then he started to turn around. But then, Virgil noticed in the corner of his eye, the delicate outline of a hand, a partial apparition-

On instinct, Virgil reached for the hand, but it vanished before he even got close. His hand closed around on nothing but cold, empty air. Virgil caught his breath again.

He made his way down the stairs. He was smiling when he made his way over to Mindy. For some reason, she jumped upon seeing him there suddenly.

“I think this might be the one.”

“…Yeah?” said Mindy, looking cautiously excited.

Virgil nodded.

“Yeah, like you said. Sometimes you just feel the perfect one in your heart. I am sure feeling that.”

-

Logan watched as the latest human chattered with the real estate agent about buying the house as they left. Logan felt…well, strange. This was not how these typical interactions went. Not that Logan had very many, especially not as of late. A potential buyer bringing in a spirit box was odd. Most people who had heard the house was haunted and still wanted to buy it were the ones who didn’t actually believe that it was haunted. But this man-Virgil- had been looking to see if he was there. He seemed to be relatively sure about Logan’s potential ghostly existence there. He spoke to Logan…and seemed very excited to speak to Logan. 

Gosh. Logan could barely recall the last time someone actually wanted to talk to him. It must have easily been decades then. Granted, much of it came from the fact that Logan was well a ghost. But even still though, he’d take what he could get. Virgil still seemed to treat Logan with a certain level of respect, from what Logan could tell.

Logan tried to humor Virgil the next few times he came to his house. It started to become easier to use that little screaming box the more he did. He could still only manage short sentences though. That would not fly. Logan hated his communication is so limited. It was one of the most frustrating parts of being a ghost. Logan had been known for his long-winded contributions to a conversation when he was alive. It was something he missed honestly. Like another part from his life lost.

At least Virgil didn’t seem to mind though. The other did his best to keep up a conversation with Logan, even if it was just a retelling of his day. He always seemed delighted to simply be able to chat with Logan at all. Even if with this restriction Logan was a truly abysmal conversation partner.

Logan found he wasn’t dreading this new roommate though. Unlike how he usually was.

Renters didn’t seem to want to stay in the house very long. Logan rolled his eyes as he thought about it.It wasn’t that he didn’t understand the fear of ghosts. That just didn’t make it any less annoying when at times he would hardly do anything. There had been a constant rotation of irritating, skittish families. It was exhausting.

Especially when Logan would find himself fading to almost nothing for a few weeks. He’d wake up to find the entire house full of new furniture, people, and everything. There was only so much he could do to avoid scares when he wasn’t fully in control of where he faded into. There was a time he tried to be more accommodating. He just didn’t see the point anymore.

Logan was someone who liked to have more control of things in his life when he was alive. Getting sick and having to deal with the nebulousness of being a spiritual entity was not fun. The way he was unable to grasp onto time and the newer technologies was frustrating as well. He used to love new technology. He loved being very knowledge about what was considered intellectual knowledge of his time. Yet, now he was very much not on top of things.

 So he tended to hate the new things on the sheer basis of no longer being in on knowing about their function. He actually got headaches for these new things when he tried to wrap his brain around them.

But Virgil- he came several times before he moved in. He greeted Logan politely and sometimes shared fun facts about himself while being generally cordial. It felt like Virgil was waiting on something though.

Maybe even…waiting on Logan.

Ah. Maybe he was hoping for some sign of approval that it was okay for Virgil to move in? Logan would almost think it was out of protective instincts. But Virgil has loosened up more as their almost conversations had continued. Logan didn’t think Virgil was scared of him. More likely, Virgil wanted to respect his wants. Respect Logan’s claim on the house he had died in. It was very considerate, and something Logan had not received ever since passing.

He thought it fair to give Virgil the permission he was seeking.

The next time Virgil arrived, Logan watched as he set up the little box on the kitchen counter. Logan summoned all his energy and tapped the little box to speak first as soon as it was ready,

“Salutations,” He said. Logan tried his best to enunciate, but it seemed distortions were inevitable with the creaming machine. Perhaps communication would continue better if Logan practiced speaking out loud on his own. He hated how this thing screeched.

Virgil gaped and his eyes widened. He looked around the area, before directing his gaze back to the box.

“Uh, hey Lo!” Virgil said enthusiastically. “You usually don’t start so chatty when I come by. Are you glad to see me?”

Logan took a breath he didn’t really need.

“Yes,” he said. Virgil gasped and then his face split into a grin.

“…Yeah? It’s good to hear from you too.”

Logan felt like he could smile too. Perhaps this was something new that he could be ok with.

-

On move-in day, Virgil brought in his ghost equipment first. He hoped this wouldn’t seem like it was going against his promise of meaning no harm. But Virgil wasn’t going to do anything to Logan from this of course. He couldn’t help his curiosity. Virgil set up a camera system and thermometers in each room. Also, an EMF recorder in the widow’s walk and the two bedrooms that shared a wall, which seemed to be the spots Logan had the easiest time talking in. Virgil couldn’t leave the spirit bow on all the time, but he wanted to try and catch any glimpse of Logan that he could even when it was off.

“I’m just doing my gear right now,” Virgil spoke into the phone as he hooked up the camera in the kitchen.

Roman sighed on the phone. “When will you be done then? Pat wants to be sure you won’t try to move in yourself.”

Virgil huffed. “Just come tomorrow. I’m too much of an anxious mess to do that anyways. Remy is gonna lend me the truck tomorrow to start bringing in my actual stuff,” said Virgil.

Roman hmmed.

“Roman, it really is fine.”

“No Virgil, it is not.”

In Virgil’s excitement about meeting an actual ghost, there was something he forgot to consider. He was planning to move into this house with someone else. His friend/crush Roman. Roman pretty much refused to go near the house as soon as he learned it was haunted. It was disheartening. Virgil was excited about the house, but he had also been looking forward to moving in somewhere with Roman. He hoped he’d be able to eventually convince Roman to give the place a chance. For now, Roman crashed with his brother Remus who was living with his boyfriend Janus. Since they lived near the new house.

“You moved into the most haunted house you’ve ever successfully recorded something in, said Roman, “On purpose. You chat with the ghost like it’s your friend.”

“Hey,” said Virgil, “I think he is my friend. It’s really not bad. Nothing has really seemed dangerous about this.”

Virgil heard Roman scoff. There was an abrupt hissing sound from the other room, and Virgil stilled.

“Hold on,” he said. Virgil moved into the living room. He found that Logan slid his box containing the camera set-up Virgil hadn’t gotten to yet in this room from one corner to another.

“Whoa,” Virgil couldn’t help but still be amazed every time he saw something new from Logan.

“Why did you do that, Lo? Is something wrong?”

“I hear you talking to it,” groused Roman. Virgil sighed.

“Him, Ro,” Virgil corrected, “Okay, Lo, I’ll put the camera in that corner instead. I’ll get out the spirit box in case you want to tell me why you even care.”

There was no response, but hopefully, Logan still heard him. So Virgil moved back to finish in the kitchen.

“Fine, he,” said Roman, “He who is dead, and probably not all that there. He could totally pull a Poltergeist on you. Then I will have to live with knowing my b- friend experienced the plot of a horror movie.”

“Ro..,” said Virgil, “Lo’s cool. He’s actually, kinda sweet.”

Roman paused for a long moment.

“Virgil,” Roman said with a hint of something unreadable.

“What?”

“Please tell me you are not developing a crush on this ghost.”

Virgil sputtered. That was the last thing he wanted Roman to think.

Someone spoke on Roman’s end of the line too indistinct for him to make out. Roman sighed.

“Yeah yeah, I’m aware you don’t believe in ghosts, Janus,” said Roman. “When Virgil is ready to let us over to his new place, I’m sure you can share you skepticism to your heart’s content.”

“Oh, I think Lo make a believe out of him yet.” Said Virgil, “He talks to me just like anyone, there’s no way to explain it away.”

There was another sliding noise, this time in the back hall. Virgil went over to where he’d heard it, and found that Logan had again moved his box of equipment, this time toward the back door.

“And, he has opinions on the camera setup, apparently.”

Roman made a distressed noise at that. Virgil sighed again.

“I’ll find a way to show it really is ok here, Ro. I’m gonna go for now to see what he wants. Don’t panic. I’ll check in with you periodically.”

-

Virgil hoped that getting other friends to see that Logan wasn’t bad would help him to eventually convince Roman to move in with him. He didn’t know if Logan would be comfortable with that either, but maybe this would convince him.

-

Virgil’s…equipment set Logan’s teeth on edge. Virgil had explained that these were more devices like the screaming box, things that would help him to see and talk to and interact with Logan. It’s just that, it felt like a lot. Something in every room, and facing out in the yard where Logan’s urn was buried somewhere. He didn’t really remember.

Virgil was doing everything he could, it seemed, to meet Logan properly. But this wasn’t just for Virgil apparently. Virgil had brought over a friend. Logan wasn’t sure how he felt about it. This person seemed nice enough, and didn’t completely freak out when Virgil mentioned wanting to show him that his new ghost roommate was nice. Logan didn’t want to be some sideshow, but he didn’t think that was Virgil’s intention anyways.

Logan had been trying to figure out what the issue was, with context clues and a bit of eavesdropping. Virgil wanted someone named Roman to join him in moving in. Logan didn’t understand the significance. Clearly, this was a relationship Virgil valued, with this person. And yet he wasn’t just leaving Logan either. It was nice in a way, even if Logan didn’t understand it.

So this current friend visiting, who wasn’t Roman. He wore glasses, like Logan’s own. He smiled but with uncertainty. Not outright skittish like some Logan had seen in the past, but not as open as Virgil. Logan didn’t understand the point of this.

“It’s possible nothing will happen, of course. I get the feeling he’s shy around other people, which is honestly understandable.”

The friend nodded. “Lo?”

“Oh,” Virgil blushed and shuffled.

“Yeah, his name is Logan. I probably should have made sure a nickname was ok first, hm? Here. Hey Lo! Do you like it if I call you Lo as a nickname? Knock once for no, twice for yes.”

Logan didn’t hesitate to almost immediately double knock, just inside the wall of the room they were in. Both Virgil and the friend startled. Then Virgil smiled fondly.

“Sweet,” he crowed.

“Oh my gosh,” said the friend, “I heard that.”

Virgil rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh yeah, he hasn’t done that before. It’s probably easier than using that spirit bow.”

 Logan had been practicing when he had the space to on his own, to talk out loud. Because he found that, for the first time in decades, he really wanted to talk to someone. To properly talk to Virgil.

Virgil placed his hand on the spot Logan’s knock had come from.  Logan found himself longing to be able to press his hand right alongside Virgil. Virgil ran his thumb over the old drypaper with a smile.

“Oh! That reminds me.”

Virgil guided Patton over to where he could watch the videos from the cameras set up. Logan of course followed.

“Wow,” Virgil breathed. Logan hovered over their shoulders to get a look at whatever it was they were seeing, “Ghostlights everywhere. In every room, and a lot of them. You sure do move around a lot, Lo.”

Yeah, thought Logan fondly, I was following you.

“But you seem to like this room best. It probably used to be yours, didn’t it?”

Logan didn’t really need to respond. He noticed though that Virgil seemed to like it better when he did. He knocked firmly on the floor twice, figuring Virgil would remember it had meant yes earlier. The friend jumped again and looked at the spot on the floor where Logan had knocked.

Virgil smiled and nodded. “Yeah I thought as much.” Then his face fell slightly.

“Wait, is it okay for me to still stay in this room? Oh, why didn’t I think about that earlier? Logan decided then that Virgil’s distress was a higher priority than possibly spooking the friend.

Logan knocked twice again, even louder. Virgil relaxed.

“Ok, thanks. Just let me know if that changes. I don’t want to seem like I’m taking anything of yours, even if I technically own this house now,”

“Virgil,” The friend gently put a hand on Virgil’s shoulder.

“This Lo-or Logan, made an effort to reassure you that sleeping here was ok when you were in distress. As far I’m concerned, that’s a sure good sign that this is okay. And uh, I trust your judgement about this. He seems nice. I look forward to getting to know him more with you.”

That brought a warm feeling to Logan. Warmth. Gosh, had he ever felt warm since he died? Considering his last living moments he was wracked with chills, it had likely been even longer.

Virgil smiled at his living friend. “Thanks Patton, I really appreciate it.

Patton. Maybe he could use this. For his friend and potential other friend, Patton, who also seemed nice. Logan focused on the warm feeling, putting all his focus into it, and spoke,

“Hello, Virgil…friend,” He said. Logan watched Virgil’s face light up even as he instantly felt drained and exhausted. Patton looked shocked for a moment before his face lit up as well. That had definitely been worth it. Being able to make someone he cared about smile again.

-

It was nice when communicating with Logan became easier and more normal. Almost like living with any other roommate. Virgil could call out across the house and almost always get an answer in response. Which was so wild and amazing. Virgil was glad he had gotten distracted from his initial plan to document everything to take to the public as proof of ghosts’ existence. He wouldn’t want to do that now. Logan was special. Logan could be a normal ghost or something completely unique.

It was nice to share this special thing with Patton for now as well. Patton was starting to come over more. He didn’t always have an experience with Logan, like that first time with the knocking. Ghostly events, you could almost call them, took energy out of Logan. Patton was there for a lot of them though. Virgil was starting to feel a softness for Patton as well. He was gentle, kind, understanding, and patient with ghostly circumstances.

On the increasingly rare occasions Logan couldn’t call back, he’d know to let Virgil know he’d heard him. Virgil would switch to yes or no questions until Logan’s voice came back. Patton was good with these adjustments as well. Neither of them had seen Logan yet though.

There had been more glimpses like that first day. Shadows in the corner of Virgil’s eyes, the shape of a wrist, the swirl of a coat disappearing around the corner of another doorway. These were usually with Virgil alone. But as Patton started to come over more, he saw a couple of glimpses as well.

Each one left Virgil’s heart pounding. He fought to keep his voice steady every time he turned to the shape and greeted Logan, even after it had vanished from sight. Virgil wanted to see Logan so badly. He suspected Patton did as well.

(Not to mention, he had some level of self-awareness. He knew what it meant when he felt the flip in his chest when Logan called out to him. The way his breath stuttered when he saw glimpses and the way he ached to Logan’s face like he was missing something desperately. He was definitely screwed.)

There had been more glimpses closer together that day-the full shape of a sleeve. When Patton was over earlier, he mentioned seeing something that might have been a wave. Then that fraction of a moment where they both thought they saw a face. Virgil could tell because they both silently exchanged a look Virgil’s heart had nearly leaped into his throat. At one point, Virgil had been sure Logan was simply standing in a doorway, but when he turned to look it had been empty.

Virgil didn’t point it out though, no matter how excited each time made him. Virgil could practically feel how ghost him would be self-conscious about such a thing. If Logan was trying, if he was doing it on purpose, it could have embarrassed him into stopping. It could make him feel bad if he didn’t manage it today.

So Virgil would be patient. For Logan. It was worth it to wait. He continued about his day trying to be subtle about the way he watched and hoped.

Virgil didn’t know how he would have expected it to go.

Logan simply walked into their bedroom. There was figure standing there, plain as day.

They stared a each other for a moment. It had to be Logan. Logan’s eyes widened a little as their eyes met.

“…Lo?” asked Virgil, voice cracking.

Logan’s eyes widened even further. His lips flickered into a smile as he nodded.

“Salutations,” he said, the same voice Logan had been hearing for weeks.

The moment was here, and Virgil could barely manage speak. He took a shaky step towards Logan.

“You’re…it’s really you. I’m really seeing you.”

Logan was a little see-through, not quite gray-scale but his colors were washed out toward silvery. It was pretty in an ethereal sort of way. Logan looked down and shuffled a bit.

“…yes.” They both walked towards each other slowly. Logan reached out a hand as though to meet his hand like Virgil had pictured with that time in the kitchen. Virgil mirrored him and stopped his hand just in front of Logan’s. Then he pushed his hand forward as though to complete the almost high five.

Virgil’s hand passed right through Logan’s. Virgil felt a shock of sensation, like dunking his hand in a bucket of ice water. Logan’s face flickered into a frown. Logan lowered his hand.

“Hey” said Virgil soothingly, “It’s ok, Lo. I’ll live without a high five.”

Virgil had a brief moment of wanting to facepalm from his own word choice when Logan smiled again and laughed. A dazzling, and half-echo-y and beautiful oh. Yeah, Virgil really couldn’t deny it now. Virgil had definitely fallen for his ghost roommate.

-

The more Logan appeared to another, the easier it became. On his best days, he simply walked around the house visible without having to think much about it. It was a wonderful experience he continued to favor.

It was almost heady, to with another again. To spend time with Virgil in silence and know that even when he didn’t speak Virgil knew that he was there and cared that he was. Wanted Logan there.

Even though Virgil’s friend Patton had seen signs of Logan, and didn’t look scared anymore, Logan was still hesitant to visibly show to another.

Logan walked between rooms of the house to find Virgil instead of simply appeared. He spoke without prompting, asked him questions, told him things even when he hadn’t been asked. Not to mention now Virgil could respond to Virgil based on something he observed with Logan.

Logan hmmed audibly. Virgil looked up and quirked his brow in curiosity.

“Yes?”

Logan looked up.

“I didn’t say anything.”

Virgil set down what he was doing.

“Yes, but you have that ‘I’m annoyed with technology’ glare on your face. What is it this time?”

Logan frowned. He didn’t realize he had been obvious in his glaring at Virgil’s device.

Logan sighed and gestured at it.

“My tablet? Do you know why?”

They’d figured out that if they could identify what annoyed him about the object, Virgil could often explain it in  a way that it became less frustrating.

Logan shrugged. “I don’t know. The laptop doesn’t bother me anymore.”

Virgil hummed and looked it over.

“Could it be the touch screen? Does my phone bother you too?”

Virgil got out his phone as an example. Logan thought it over and then nodded. Virgil waved him over.

“Maybe if I show you some of the gestures it’ll help.”

Logan walked across the room and sat beside him. Close enough that he could feel the heat radiating off of Virgil’s body. Another returned sensation. Logan had slowly been able to distinguish temperatures, despite sucking all the heat out of the air around them like a sponge himself.

Virgil demonstrated several gestures with the tablet. What helped was the explanation on how touch screen worked by detecting things that conducted electricity. Like a bare human finger.

 It helped Logan to relax. He let Virgil’s voice wash over him, feeling warm, real, and well almost alive.

-

Virgil found he had a bit of a problem. He definitely had a crush on Logan. A pretty big one. But he already had a crush on his friend Roman. And now, Patton was starting to get added to the mix. Virgil wasn’t really sure what to do. But Logan was the one Virgil lived with. He was the one Virgil was around the most and therefore caused the gushiest heart palpitations. The one he was surer of with how he felt at the moment, for some reason. So, he could start there.

Virgil was almost nervous to head over, but he wasn’t sure who else to talk to about this. Virgil gulped. Janus raised a brow as he let Virgil in.

“Roman’s not here,”

“I’m uh, not here for him.” Virgil kept walking before Janus could question him further.

Virgil sighed and let himself into Remus’s room.

“I need your help…but I need you to not tell Roman about it.”

Remus gave him a curiosu look.

“Ohh? Sounds spicy if you’re keeping a secret from brother dearest.”

“It’s like, not a secret or anything, just, I dunno. Just don’t tell him, please and don’t tell him I told you not to tell him.”

Remus rolled and tsked at him with a headshake.

“Well now you’ve piqued my interest.”

“It’s related to like squishy feelings and stuff.”

Remus wrinkled his nose. “I am not giving you dating advice related to my brother. Believe it or not, I have standards.”

“What? No! Nothing like that, gosh!”

Okay, Virgil was definitely blushing now.

Remus hmmed, not seeming convinced.

“Alright, are you ditching my brother then?”

“There’s nothing to ditch! We’re friends.”

“Mhm, just get on with it then.”

Virgil huffed out a breath.

“I think I might like my ghost roommate.”

Remus’s eyebrows raised. Then he gave Virgil an unhinged grin.

“Hell yeah dude, get that ghost bod!”

Virgil groaned. “You don’t have to say it like that! Anyways, you seem likely to have some idea how to do that. And don’t just recommend uncomfy things! Give me actual advice.”

Remus hmmed and stroked his mustache.

“First, let’s eliminate the impossible. Can he leave the house?”

Virgil thought.

“I don’t know actually,” He said slowly, “I don’t think he’s ever tried?”

“Probably not then,” said Remus, “So you can come up with something indoors, no eating, or electronics, that could limit you to Netflix movies…”

Virgil nodded. “That could work. That’s like go to stuff for me, although it would be nice if we could leave the house though.”

Remus nodded.

“Yeah he’s incorporeal and bound to the house, so he’d need a body.”

Virgil blinked, “What?”

Remus gave him a look.

“Are you actually suggesting I purposefully let him possess me? I mean, I don’t doubt he wouldn’t hurt me, but I’m still not sure,”

Remus started giggling and clapping his hands, “Oh that sounds like so much fun. Please let me know how it goes. I can only imagine the super kinky stuff that could happen from that. Hey, if you don’t want to, can I be his meat bag?”

“No!” Virgil exclaimed. Remus merely giggled again.

Janus sighed as he stopped by Remus’s door. “Really? Virgil this is truly getting ridiculous, I hardly think-“

“Whoa, what’s going on here? Who is congregating by Remus’s door?” Roman asked as he came back into the apartment.”

Remus was jumping up and down now. “Virgil’s gonna offer to let Logan posses him because he’s thirsty for ghost dick, apparently,”

Virgil screeched. “No, I’m not, I didn’t say, I mean,- aghhhh!” Virgil just fled the apartment after that, hiding in his hood and unable to look Roman in the face. He was definitely blushing. Maybe going to Remus for advice had been a mistake.

-

When Virgil arrived home from the frustratingly vague “hanging with a friend”, Logan could tell something was up right away. Virgil slammed the door and he was currently hiding in his hood. A sure sign that Virgil was in distress. Well that just wouldn’t do.

“…Virgil?” He asked carefully.

Virgil huffed a breath. “Yeah, Lo?

“Are you okay?”

“Mhmm,” Virgil practically mumbled, still refusing to look at Logan. “Totally good, yeah.”

Logan sighed. “Is that why you’re avoiding looking at me?”

Virgil sighed. “Nothing get’s past you, huh Lo?” Virgil looked over, but his face was still somewhat covered. Logan gestured for him to continue.

Virgil took a deep breath and let it out.

“I want to a friend for advice. He was horribly obscene in his responses, but I still got an idea from it.”

Logan tilted his head. Well that sounded, curious.

“I, well, I thought maybe-“

He paused and bit his lip. Logan refrained from telling him to stop that.

“Have you ever, like, possessed anyone?” He blurted.

Logan blinked. Well, he hadn’t expected that question.

“Uh, I cannot say that I have,” said Logan wasily.

“Have you ever like wanted to?”

Logan stared.

“…Why?

“I was wondering, if you’d like want to possess me?”

“W-why would-“

“I was just thinking,”

 Virgil started to ramble, fidgeting with his fingers, “that we or you could, and then we could like- you know go somewhere, maybe a movie, or to eat some easy casual food and walk or-you know.”

Logan again almost came across a sensation that was surely not possible as a ghost, such as his chest thrumming with something. A yearning of some kind, a warm inflation of some sort of glee.

“Virgil,” Logan croaked, and then cleared his throat, “Are you asking me on a date?”

Virgil slumped in relief and smiled nervously. “Uh, yeah, that’s-that’s exactly what I’m doing.”

“…I’m dead,” said Logan.

Virgil looked at him.

“So?”

Logan let out a laugh at that.

“Okay, but, I thought you were already with someone?”

Virgil blinked, “Who?”

Logan shrugged. “I wasn’t sure, but it seemed like you were.”

“No, I’m not.”

Logan nodded, thinking on that.

“We could, like, go with Patton or something though,” Virgil said. Logan blinked and looked at him.

“Oh?”

Virgil shrugged. “Yeah, like, we trust him. And you know, wouldn’t have to pretend like I’m having a date with one body. Not that I’d be embarrassed to go with just you or anything!”

“No, it’s ok. I understand…I would not be opposed to that, actually.”

Virgil met his eyes then. They seemed to communicate the same thing there. After a moment, Virgil smiled.

 Logan crossed the room and Virgil’s arms opened as he reached for him. Logan longed to feel arms wrapped around him, he could almost feel it. But instead-

Their chest met, and the room spun viciously. Logan found himself facing the opposite direction.

“What?” he-they?-said.

“Oh my gosh,” and that must have been Virgil, but Logan felt the shape, flow, and voice of it with his own mouth.

“This is-fascinating,” said Logan. Virgil lifted his hand to touch their lips. Oh. Thar was certainly a sensation. So Logan ran his finger over the soft swell.

“This is so cool,” breathed Virgil. Logan laughed, in Virgil’s slightly lower voice than his own.

“So…what do you wanna do?” asked Virgil. He swung their arms some. “We can go see a movie or just walk in the park. Maybe a restaurant? It can be just the two of us at first, or we can go with Patton, I can give him a call, whichever is more comfortable. Anything you want,”

Gently, Logan ran his hands down through the soft hair on Virgil’s forearm, and then clasped their hands together, palm to palm in front of them.

“…Lo?” Asked Virgil, quiet.

“Could we go another time?” asked Logan, unfortunately unable to hide the shake to his voice, “This is-a lot.”

“Yeah,” said Virgil, soft, “Of course, Lo. Do you want-we wear something soft. Or take a relaxing bath.”

Logan squeaked, “Virgil!” He could actually feel heat flood his cheeks in a blush, “I’m not going to take a bath like this,”

“…oh, right.” Virgil shuffled self-consciously, “Didn’t uh, really think that one through.”

“Wearing something like pajamas sounds nice though,” Logan said.

Virgil nodded. “We’ll still have to get somewhat undressed to get in pajamas, you know.”

Logan sighed. “Yeah, it’s fine.

Logan made his way over to their bedroom, their heart thrumming, hands still clasped.

-

Logan still pretty much avoided most people except Virgil when he had guest over. Virgil figured it made sense. A hundred years of almost been exclusively ignored or feared was bound to make anyone a little standoffish. Virgil was hoping it would eventually get better, as he hadn’t given up on trying to convince Roman it was safe enough to move in. But Virgil wasn’t going to push it.

Remus and Janus took up part of the couch. The other half had Roman and Patton. And Virgil, not trusting how he would be around either Roman or Patton, had banished himself to the chair. They were chatting about, Virgil thought something academic related to Janus. He had honestly missed what  the exact topic was. It probably went over his head, but Virgil would not admit it around the other.

So it arrested his full attention the moment Logan walked out of the kitchen doorway.

“Virgil, dear, have you seen the silver mirror, my reflection is being spotty again and I wanted to check-“

Logan froze in the doorway, like he startled to see the other people there. Which was…odd. Logan was usually always aware of all the life in the house.

“…hello,” said Janus, “Virgil, you didn’t tell us you had another guest over. That’s poor host etiquette there.”

“No way,” said Roman, gaping.

“What was that you said about your reflection?” asked Remus.

Logan stayed frozen for another moment, before he simply winked out of existence.

Roman and Patton screamed. Janus leapt up from the couch with complete shock and some panic. Remus looked torn between awe and terror.

“Whoa, guys! It’s alright! Everybody calm down. You’re gonna freak him out.”

“I’m going to freak him out!?” Exclaimed Roman. Virgil winced.

Patton took a breath. “Sorry Virgil, and sorry Logan. Just caught me off guard.”

The others turned to him.

“You knew about this?” Roman asked, voice strangled. Patton made a so-so motion.

“Virgil has invited me over a few times to meet Logan, but I’d never actually seen him before.”

They had been meaning to have a possessed date accompanying Patton, but neither Virgil nor Logan combined had worked up the nerve to yet.

Virgil took a deep breath and nodded.

“Yeah, so it’s fine. See?”

Patton nodded. “Yes.”

“Okay. So everyone, sit back down. No more screaming. And we can continue this calmly without anyone scaring each other. Alright?”

They sat back down on the couch. Virgil turned and cleared his throat.

“Hey, Lo?” He said gently, “it’s really fine. They’re not gonna hurt you, it’s fine to come out.”

There was a wavering minute. Virgil started to think maybe Logan was gonna stay invisible, but then the air in front of the wall opposite the couch shimmered and Logan appeared.

“Salutations,” said Logan.

“Virgil,” said Janus, strangled. “If you’re somehow playing a practical joke on us, I ask you please pull your ‘gotcha’ now.”

“No practical joke,” said Virgil, “Logan, this is Roman, Patton who’ve seen before, Roman’s brother Remus, and his boyfriend Janus. Everyone, this is my boyfriend Logan.”

At which point Virgil realized that in spite of their possession-based dates that was the first time he’d ever actually used the word boyfriend.

He had a few reasons to worry about his usage of that word then.

Sitting in the chair, Virgil gestured for Logan to come closer. Slow, almost ginger, Logan moved across the room and sat on the arm of Virgil’s chair, smiling hesitantly.

“I’m Logan,” he said, “I’m dead, as you may have noticed. It’s nice to meet you,”

“Uh yeah, Likewise,” said Janus, his voice still choked with confusion and panic.

“…Well!” said Patton, bright. “It’s nice to finally see you! How long have you been together now?”

“Since September,” said Logan. Virgil’s chest filled with warmth at how they were apparently on the same page in spite of the lack of verbal communication.

“Soo,” Remus started, “You actually went through our seduction via possession plan?!”

Logan’s face shimmered like a holograph. Virgil pursed his lips and made a smothered noise in embarrassment.

-

In spite of himself, Logan found that as the night went on, he was able to relax.

Since Logan had gotten a taste of what it felt like to be treated simply like another person, a friend, someone loved again, after so long. From being with Virgil. He’d been dreading the possibility of returning to that cold, ignorant fear, if he revealed himself to anyone else. He acknowledged to himself that longing, even if he hadn’t been thrilled by it before.

And they had been afraid-at first. Patton was the first of them to get comfortable with Logan since Virgil had slowly introduced him. Remus hadn’t really seemed scared, but that didn’t make him any more comfortable to be around. It was hard to get a read on him. Luckily the more Logan spoke, the more the others relaxed. It became easier to speak and exchange social pleasantries and feel normal.

There was a twinge when Janus offered to shake his hand before they left. Logan had to tell him it wasn’t possible but it was small, compared to the warmth in his chest.

Roman hung back from the others for a moment before they left. He fidgeted some before looking at Virgil.

“Okay…I’ll concede it’s fine to live here. Do you still want me to move in? Or has the offer passed from me being a stubborn ass.”

Virgil grinned wide. “No, of course you can still move in Ro! I’m so glad you came around.”

Virgil pulled Roman in for a hug, a move a bit unlike him, before chattering about moving in plans and how quickly Roman could get his stuff in. Logan saw the soft way Roman looked at Virgil. Well, Logan had expected as much. Even if he hadn’t actually seen the other in person til that day. He did overhear things. It was a good thing he trusted Virgil’s judgment about another potential roommate to their situation. It was still nerve-wracking. They looked at eeach otherwith adoration as Roman left. Really, how were they so oblivious?

Then Logan got distracted from bringing it up. Virgil started showering Logan with praises over how proud he was for how Logan was around new people for the first time in a while.

Logan turned away to hide his face in embarrassment. He heard Virgil cross the room to him, cooing.

He wasn’t expecting to feel the faint, warm pressure of Virgil’s hand passing through his. Logan turned to Virgil again to see him frowning at the spot where his hand hovered, just inches away.

“You know you can’t touch me, Virgil,” Logan said gently.

“Yeah...,” Virgil said and shrugged. “I’m not gonna stop trying, though.”

Virgil leaned in, slow and careful, and brushed his nose and mouth against Logan’s cheek. It was warm. Both like and yet not quite like touching something while sharing Logan’s body, and also something uniquely all its own.

“I love you,” said Logan, quietly. He almost couldn’t believe he’d said it, but wouldn’t take it back.

Virgil inhale sharply and pulled away to look Logan in the eye, face shining.

“I love you, too.”

-

Roman moving in went smoother than expected. He was still wary at times around ghostly things, but he bounced back quickly. It helped that Logan could lightly needle him into a lighthearted debate on something. Virgil would smile softly at those moments, reminded of his own banters with Roman. So that pining hadn’t gone anywhere yet. Virgil and Logan did finally work up the nerve to go on possession dates where Patton joined them. It was nice. Patton was around even more than before. Before anyone even said anything, he had sort of joined Virgil and Logan so now they were three.

Virgil still got nervous about Roman knowing, but he seemed supportive. It was a bit hard to tell how he felt. Although little did he know, Logan did notice all the shared looks between all of them. The ghost was just not the best at figuring out how to get to the next step. The final bridging od the gap came from an unexpected situation.

-

Virgil was going to be away for a couple of days. He was nervously repeating things for Logan to remember, in an honestly cute way.

“Having Roman around will help you not to lose time. And Patton can probably come around often, like for times when Roman isn’t here.”

“I know. Virgil,” Logan laughed and came towards him.

“You’ve told me everything a dozen times. I did exist in this house for a hundred years before you got here, you know.”

Virgil let out a slightly nervous laugh. “Yeah, I know,” He said, rubbing the back of his head, “I just-hate leaving you. I don’t want to come back to find you’ve lost a bunch of time, it-feels like I’m abandoning you or something.”

Logan gave him a small smile.

“You aren’t,” he said softly, “I know you’re coming back. And you’ve got me wonderfully set up here.”

Virgil nodded. “You’re right,” he said. “You’ll hardly notice I’m gone, will you?”

“Almost,” said Logan, “I will scarcely register your absence.”

Virgil shook his head. He stopped to grab his band and heaved it over his shoulder.

Roman came out to wish him goodbye as well.

“Don’t worry dark and stormy, we got you covered here. Don’t take too long now.”

“Alright,” said Virgil. “See you both on Monday. Love you,”

“Love you too,” said Logan. Virgil leaned in to hug Roman and kiss him. Then he leaned in to press a quick, light kiss to Logan’s mouth. They separated with a little smack, and Virgil waved with his free hand.

“Bye, babes,” he said, walking out the door.

As Virgil climbed into his car, he furrowed his brow. He was forgetting something. But he couldn’t figure out what is was. Used to feeling like he forgot something, Virgil shrugged, and pulled out of his parking space and drove away.

-

Both Logan and Roman spent several minutes after Virgil left staring at the door, moths agape. Logan could still feel the phantom press of Virgil’s lips.So warm and a little chapped and so gentle where they’d touched his-leaving a barely-there aftertaste against his.

Hesitantly, Logan pressed his fingertips to his mouth.

Roman made some sort of squeak, but Logan was hardly paying attention. Virgil had kissed him. Virgil had kissed him, and it had been real, nothing ghostly or facsimile about it.

Logan turned to Roman and felt overcome to test something. He walked up to Roman and poked him.

“Did you feel that?”

Roman blinked at him. “Uh…yes?”

Logan tried again. He set his hand on Roman’s arm. Roman’s breath caught. Logan was really touching him. It felt nice. He moved his hand away, and then focused on his hand and Roman’s arm. His hand passed right through. Roman jolted back at that and he gave Logan a pout.

“Hey, don’t do that.”

Logan was more distracted by this new discovery though. He tested this a few more times on Roman and every object he could get ahold of in the house. Roman just watched. When Logan wanted to touch things, he did. When he wanted to be incorporeal, he was.

Logan came over to the tablet, lifting if from the side table and sitting on the couch with it held in front of him, the way he’d seen Remus do so many times. He managed to find the correct icons, clicking it. He set up a group call.

Patton spoke first.

“Virgil, I know you want us to check on Logan but you just left, and-“

 “Hello, Patton,” said Logan.

Patton stared at him through the video call.

“Logan? Is Roman there?”

“Technically yes, but,”

Roman waved his hands in front of the screen to show he wasn’t operating the tablet.

“Virgil just left. And he kissed me,”

“And me!” Roman chimed in.

“but don’t tell him, because I want to see how long it takes him to realize,” Logan said with a smile.

“He kissed you?” gasped Patton.

“Yes,” said Logan, unable to help but smile wide and besotted.

“And I’m currently holding the tablet, which is novel. Janus and Remus will probably want to come over, I’m sure they’ll have a wonderful time figuring out what the hell is going on.”

Janus and Remus arrived with half an hour, and when they did put Logan through all manner of experiments.

“It seems you are truly able to be either corporeal or not, entirely at will,” said Janus.

“and this had never happened before?” Remus asked.

“I’m pretty sure I would remember something as notable as this,” said Logan.

Remus then offered to give him a hug. The firm warm arms squeezing around him was a pleasant experience Logan hadn’t realized he was missing before.

“I believe I have a theory,” Janus said.

He went on to explain how, as Roman put it, love made Janus solid. A realization that Patton and Roman both loved to jump on, in order to ‘charge him up’.

Monday arrived. Virgil had called no one in a fit of confusion. He seemed totally unaware of the way he’d completely changed Logan’s afterlife before walking out the door.

He was looking forward to this. Logan could tell that Roman was as well. Maybe the last pieces to their dance would stop and all the pining could be resolved.

Logan smiled as the front door opened.

“Hey Lo, Ro. I’m home,” Virgil called.

Logan stepped up to him. “Hello dear,” said Logan fondly, before throwing his arms around Virgil’s neck and kissing him square on the mouth.

Virgil froze for a moment, before wrapping his arms firmly around Logan’s waist and pulling him so close Logan’s feet were barely touching the floor.

Breaking away with a gasp, Virgil frantically pressed one hand firmly to Janus’s face.

“Wha- Lo-“

“I’ll explain in a minute,” said Logan breathlessly.

 “Only I’ve just figured out that kissing you feels quite a bit like flying, so I’d appreciate it if we could do a bit more of that first.”

Virgil let out a slightly hysterical laugh. He moved to seal their mouths together, but then,

“Hey, give me a chance!”

Virgil turned to give Roman a wide-eyed look. Roman smirked at him. “Lo isn’t the only you surprise kissed before leaving.”

Roman, beside him, blew a puff of hair out of his face with a bored expression. "Why the hell would they send us out to investigate a barn ? Are some cows breaking laws or something?"

Patton grinned to himself, "Well, then cow 'nt me in!"

Roman rolled his eyes, "Patton, it's too early for puns. Please."

Patton huffed a giggle, in the same boat with his annoyance but also finding Roman's attitude hopelessly endearing. "The file said that they detected strong signs of magic coming from somewhere in this barn. So I guess we have to investigate it."

Roman tipped his head back and groaned, long and annoyed, and Patton's face broke out into a fond smile and he slid his hand into Roman's, ignoring the way his heart stuttered like a drum. "Don't worry, sweetheart, we'll be in and out before you know it!"

Roman smiled at him, and Patton felt his heart go all gooey and soft, like marshmallows over an open fire.

Gosh, this crush thing is getting out of control.

Patton let go of Roman's hand (even though he really didn't want to) and walked up to the barn door, which was padlocked with a chain. Patton hummed, before focusing and summoning his shield and slamming down on the padlock. It broke, with a loud bang that had Roman jumping behind him. The padlock fell to the ground.

"Okay, let's go." Patton stepped back until he was side by side with Roman again. Patton held his shield up defensively, and Roman's fingertips sparked with his red magic, already weaving between his fingers. With a deep breath, they both stepped inside.

Patton didn't know what he was expecting. It was just a barn. Stacks of hay and wooden boxes were strewn around on the dirt floor. An old, broken down tractor was sitting in one of the corners. It looked like no one had been here in years.

"It's just… a barn." Patton whispered, as if he was afraid of breaking the still air around him. Roman looked around in confusion. "Where could magic energy have come from in here?"

"I'm not sure, so we better look around. Looks like we're gonna have a field day!" Patton cracked a grin at Roman's annoyed groan and they split up to look for clues. Hah, clues. Like Blue's Clues. Focus!

They must have spent about 20 minutes there before they found anything substantial. It was really just-- a barn. The hay kept making him sneeze and the air was filled with dust, so when Roman called out to him, Patton was eager to see what he had found so they could get the heck out of here.

He would soon realize he would rather have the hay making him sneeze than what they were about to find.

"Hey, Patty-cakes, I think I found something!" Roman called to him from across the barn. His heart swelled at the nickname, his face heating as he went over to where Roman was standing.

Roman had lifted a bale of hay with his magic, suspending it high in the air with a soft red glow coming from it. Underneath the bale of hay was a metal trap door that was also locked with a padlock, looking very out of place surrounded by the dirt.

Roman was beaming, the red dyed strands of his black hair falling into his eyes and covering some of the scars on his face from view, looking positively ecstatic that he had found something, and Patton abruptly felt faint.

"Good job, sweetie!" Patton managed to get out, and somehow Roman's eyes got brighter, and Patton had to look away for fear that he'd forget what they were here for and just get lost in Roman's eyes.

It wasn't his fault that Roman was so pretty. Cream colored skin, slightly hooded green eyes, black hair with the ends dyed red and scars covering him from head to toe. He was beautiful. Effervescent.

But Patton couldn't have him.

He focused on the task at hand, shaking off the thoughts. With a swing, Patton brought his shield down and broke the padlock way easier than he expected. Moving the padlock out of the way, he lifted the trapdoor (good gosh, it was heavy) and swung it open with a loud bang . It revealed a set of stairs leading to another locked door down at the end, sterile and white.

Patton turned and looked at Roman, expecting to see that same grin, but instead found Roman staring down at the stairs with wide eyes, suddenly very pale. His eyes had slightly fogged over and he went tense as a brick. The hay he had been holding had dropped to the ground.

Patton frowned, "Ro?"

At the sound of his voice, Roman jolted, focusing immediately on Patton's face. The tension from his shoulders didn't disappear, but he looked a little more focused. "Sorry, Pat, I-- nevermind. I'm fine."

His heart pricked with worry, "Are you sure, sweetheart?" Roman smiled; a fake, tense smile that Patton knew all too well. He didn't want to talk about it. Patton was overcome with the urge to hold him close and soothe his worries, but the likely chance is that Roman didn't want to be touched right now.

Patton let out a breath of worry and nodded, promising himself to make Roman some soup when they got home. Soup is good for the soul.

Roman suddenly moved, descending the stairs, and Patton hurried to catch up with him, moving his worry for Roman to the back of his mind. The walls were so white and bright, like a hospital room; why would this be below a barn?

Patton suddenly got a very bad feeling.

They reached the door. It was also made of metal, seemingly having more security than the trapdoor; there was a heavy latch on the outside and a keypad on the side of the door. Patton pouted.

"Did you find a code anywhere?"

"No," Roman replied, his voice a little shaky, "But I can break it down."

Patton creased his brow, "Roman, if you're too overwhelmed, you can go back up--"

"Patton." Roman interrupted him, "I'm fine." And then, without warning, he moved his hands, moving his magic with him, and as the magic hit the door the door flew open and hit the ground on the other side hard.

Well, okay, guess we're going straight in.

The first thing Patton noticed was the gust of cold air that blew from inside, the temperature dropping about 30 degrees.

The second thing he noticed was the smell.

The stench of rotting corpses hit him (and apparently Roman) in the face like a bat. Patton gagged, holding his hand over his mouth and his nose, heart dropping in horror. Roman somehow got even more pale, and his hands began to shake.

When Patton didn't heave, he slowly removed his hand, taking a steadying breath through his mouth. He really doesn't want to go in there. But what if someone is in trouble in there?

Fuck, he really doesn't want to go in there.

He looked over at Roman, only to see Roman looking at him, pale as paper and shaking and definitely fighting off bad memories but still looking determined. "You ready?"

Patton shook his head. "No," he admitted, "let's go."

As they moved into the darkened room, Roman's magic illuminating the space, Patton's gut kept turning. There were broken machines and smashed tables and shattered screens all over the room, and there were icicles formed on the smashed medical equipment. But that's not what horrified him.

There were bodies everywhere. People of both sexes in lab coats and suits, some half frozen and some with obvious frostbite. He saw a girl around his age, staring into his eyes with a blank, dead stare.

Patton shivered and held onto his shield tighter. "God," He whispered, his breath coming out in little wisps of air from the cold, "what happened here?"

"Something ugly," Roman responded in an equally quiet voice. As they moved further into the-- Patton thought it was a lab, they found more rooms, and more bodies. They looked like surgery rooms, a large table with straps in the middle of all of them, most of them broken.

At the end of the hall, there was a larger door than the rest, cracked slightly ajar. It was colder down here; Patton tried to stop his teeth from chattering. They looked at eachother; Roman's green meeting Patton's brown, and an understanding passed between them.

Patton went in first, shield raised, with Roman directly behind him, lighting up the area so they could see.

It was just like the other rooms they saw, except a lot, lot colder. So cold that there was frost spreading on the walls, and the floor felt a little slippery. Patton traced his eyes over the frost on the walls, watching as it got bigger and more clumped, seeming to have spread from the far right corner, hidden by one of the tables.

Patton made a gesture to the table. Roman nodded, and used his magic to fling the table out of the way.

Patton's heart sank like a stone in his stomach.

There was something in the corner-- it looked like a man, hunched up and making some kind of… chittering noise, rocking back and forth like it was trying to calm itself. It looked like a normal human person; at least until Patton saw its eyes.

Bright, electric blue eyes, widened with fear, contrasting strongly with the seemingly dark brown of its skin. Inhumanely blue eyes.

Patton stared.

Roman stared.

The thing stared back.

Roman took a step forward and the thing screeched, loud and inhuman like it had been shot, scrambling back against the corner it was hidden in and tiny specks of frost starting to form on its skin. The temperature seemed to drop even further if that was even possible. Roman jumped and his magic reacted, flying out toward the creature-- man? woman? human? -- like a punch.

Patton moved on instinct; he ran in front of the creature, deflecting the red energy with his shield. It bounced off and struck the wall next to them. Standing his ground, Roman stared at him with wide, gaping eyes.

"Wait!" Patton spoke, the word sounding booming in the silence. He looked behind him at the creature; it was shaking and covering its head with its arms, as if it was expecting a blow. Patton's heart cracked a bit.

Oh, shoot.

Slowly, Patton turned around and kneeled down. It made eye contact with him, peeking out through its fingers. He heard footsteps behind him and then a hand on his shoulder; Roman was there if something went wrong.

"Hey there," Patton spoke in a soft, calm voice. The creature just stared at him with pure, unfiltered fear. "Are you okay? You looked pretty spooked there."

"Patton," Roman whispered, soft but urgent. Patton shushed him.

"Don't mind my friend here, he's a silly goose. I'm Patton, he/him! What's your name?"

The creature just-- kept staring at him, with those big blue eyes that Patton distantly thought were-- kind of beautiful.

They sat in silence for a good 2 minutes, Patton waiting patiently for a response and Roman getting even more tense and ready to run. The creature must have realized that Patton wasn't going to do anything, because it finally spoke.

It opened its mouth and-- a series of noises came out, ones that Patton couldn't even begin to replicate. When neither Patton nor Roman responded, the creature furrowed his brow before speaking again.

"...Logan." It said in English. Its voice was low and scratchy and raw, like it had been screaming for a long time. "..he/him."

Logan. Patton smiled a calm, placating smile. "Hi there, Logan. It's very nice to meet you. Roman?"

He tilted his head to look at Roman, who stood there stiff and tense, staring at Logan with suspicion and fear. Eventually, in a terse tone, he said, "Roman. He/him."

Patton smiled and clapped his hands, the sound making them both jump. He smiled sheepishly and looked at Logan again. "We can get you out of here."

Logan looked at him with suspicion, narrowing his gorgeous eyes wow holy heck. Roman tightened his grip on his shoulder, "Patton, can I talk to you for a minute?" He said, voice strained.

Patton looked back at him, and then at Logan. "I'll be right back." He told Logan, seeing the small nod he got in response.

Roman took his hand and dragged him over to more of the middle of the room and hissed in a low voice, "What are you doing?!"

"I'm trying to help him! He's obviously terrified, Ro!" He did not say that Logan already reminded him a little bit of Roman.

"Yeah, and he's surrounded by dead bodies ! Who else could have done that if not him?!" Roman's voice was quiet but very obviously panicked.

"Roman," He started, softly, but firm, "We're not leaving him here. We can't. You of all people should know that." Patton felt a little guilty using that against Roman, but they needed to get Logan out of here and tend to any wounds he might have and then they could ask questions.

Roman's eyes widened, then he shuddered, looking off to the side. He deliberated for a bit, tensing his jaw (Patton resisted the urge to kiss his cheek to make him relax), before letting out a slow, tense breath.

"Fine. But if he tries anything , I won't be so nice."

Patton heaved a sigh of relief, wanting to squeeze Roman's hand in thanks, but deciding against it. He walked back over to where Logan was still sitting, curled up and tense like an animal ready to attack.

"Hey, let's get you out of here. I bet it's real scary in here, huh? I promise you'll be safer outside,"

Talk in a calm, safe voice. Don't move too suddenly. Keep your hands visible at all times.

Logan looked like he was deliberating a bit, his eyes flitting all around as if looking for an exit. He finally nodded. Patton held a hand out for him to help himself up but Logan flinched violently, so Patton quickly took his hand back. "Sorry! I won't try to touch you anymore, okay?"

Logan's eyes kept flitting between Roman's and Patton's, searching for any sign of aggression or deceit. Apparently, he found none, (at least none in Patton's eyes), because he finally made to stand up. With a small struggle, he made it onto his knees and then onto his feet and holy smokes was he tall.

He had to be 6'7 at the very least, good golly . Patton didn't realize it before, but his clothes were all ripped and torn and dirtied so badly Patton couldn't tell what it originally was.

What happened to him?

"You can follow us, okay?" Patton said, and the only response he got was Logan tensing further with his arms around himself. He decided that he must have heard him, so he and Roman started to make their way out of the lab.

Passing the bodies, Patton made a mental note to contact the authorities and find out who they were so that Patton could pay his respects to their families.

"Patton," Roman whispered softly into Patton's ear, "I don't like this."

"I know, sweetheart, but it's going to be okay." Patton said. His statement came out much more confidently than he was actually feeling.

They finally made it to sunlight again; Patton had to blink a few times for his sight to be adjusted to the sudden brightness.

He turned to get a look at Logan, who was currently squinting against the harsh sun (which Patton couldn't help but smile at). Extremely tall, dark brown skin, a faded haircut and electric blue eyes. Definitely not human.

But when Logan turned to look at him, his eyes wide and vulnerable and so very scared, and tried to match Patton's smile despite the fact that he was so obviously terrified of them,

They’d been together a few months now and it had been, without a doubt, the best few months of Virgil’s life. 

It’d been a bit nerve wracking in the beginning, those first couple of weeks, as excited and thrilled as he was, Virgil had been extra paranoid about doing something wrong, about giving them any reason to lose feelings for him. 

He honestly hadn’t thought it could work at first. Relationships rarely worked out with two people, let alone four. Eventually they would fight, or lose feelings, or decide it was all too complicated. And things would get awkward and they could all end up hating each other and who knew what it would do to Thomas if they could no longer stand to be in the same room—

But they didn’t. By some miracle, that never happened.

Things were...things were perfect, as scared as Virgil had been to use the word. They’d been amazing ever since the anxious side was allowed to join their family, the love and warmth a wonderful kind of overwhelming he’d never felt before, but actually dating the people he loved more than anything, no longer needing to be afraid to express his feelings…

It was more than he’d ever thought he would get. More than he ever thought could be possible. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe it was real. 

They fit together like puzzle pieces, making each other stronger, pushing each other to be better, gentle and encouraging, coexisting in peaceful harmony. 

Virgil had never felt so welcomed, so surrounded by unconditional support and affection. They showed him just how much he had to offer. For the first time he’d actually felt like he wasn’t just a burden. 

It was hard, especially when it took a while to convince himself that he wasn’t invited into the relationship out of convenience, but because they actually wanted him. 

But they loved him. He knew that now. They all loved each other, flaws and all. 

And, well...Virgil should have known it wouldn't last forever. 

Not for him. Because...because that was just the way things were, wasn’t it? He’d made progress, he wasn’t the bad guy anymore, but he was still Anxiety. Things were just destined to go wrong. 

He really hadn’t given a single thought. It never crossed his mind as something that could ever be a problem, even when they had initially gotten together. No one else seemed intent on bringing it up, so Virgil had figured they never would. 

But then it had. Logan had brought the topic up about a week ago, somewhat awkward but still painfully casual, the conversation simply to discuss everyone’s level of comfort when it came to intimacy. 

Which...yeah, Virgil guessed it made sense. They were dating, the four of them happy and comfortable with their relationship, and had been for months now. So obviously sex was going to get brought up eventually. Boundaries needed to be set before...anything actually happened. It was routine for a healthy relationship. 

Except Virgil hadn’t actually thought they would ever talk about it. Because he’d known for a long time that he was asexual and he’d just...kind of assumed the others were too.

Which in retrospect, was a stupid conclusion to jump to. 

Virgil had known for years now, long before befriending the others. It had taken him a while to be sure, lots of research and panic and overthinking, but he’d eventually grown comfortable with the label. It was just another part of who he was. 

But he’d also never really understood why. Thomas wasn’t asexual so it didn’t make any sense for Virgil to have a separate identity. 

Unless it was just something all the sides experienced, none of them able to feel that kind of attraction.

But he’d never actually gotten around to asking. No one brought it up, and before the...development in their relationship it never seemed like something that would be an issue. So he’d just assumed, and ran with it. 

But clearly that wasn’t the case. Not when Roman and Patton were responding to Logan’s question with varying levels of eagerness and approval, comfortable and willing to take the next step when they were all ready.  

And Virgil knew he should have said something right there. They had given him the perfect opportunity to come out, quick and easy, and avoid anything uncomfortable in the future. 

But he didn’t. Because...because that would be the end, wouldn’t it? 

They would be sweet about it, of course. Thank him for being honest. But if he was the only one who didn’t want that...well, what was the point of him being a part of things? 

It was a cruel thing to assume, he knew that. None of them were shallow enough to see sex as something necessary, and he knew they would never force him into anything. 

But...but he already offered so little. They already had to jump through so many hoops to accommodate his anxiety, and it wasn’t like he was particularly loving or good at romance, as hard as he tried. As loving and amazing as they were, this could simply be the final straw. 

He wanted to be with them. He wanted them in every other way. He loved them more than anything. But he wouldn’t fight it when they ended up distancing themselves from him. 

Virgil just wasn’t ready for that heartbreak yet. So he plastered on a fake smile, and nodded along with the others.

 He’d tell them tomorrow. The longer he waited, the worse it would be. 

_

“Movie night!” Patton declared, skipping into the living room where Virgil was scrolling aimlessly on his phone. “And don’t think you’re getting out of it this time, Virge!”

Virgil tried to ignore the way his stomach twisted at the phrasing, swallowing against rising panic and sending Patton a smile. It was just movie night, same as every Friday. 

It had been two weeks now, and he still hadn’t told them. He’d managed to avoid last week’s movie night with the excuse of an upset stomach, desperately trying not to think about what they could be doing without him. 

And now...now he’d have to tell. They’d already be upset he waited this long, he couldn’t put it off any longer. 

Besides, they’d all be in the same bed all night, as they often were, relaxed and happy and enjoying each other’s company. They wouldn’t ever force him into something he wasn’t comfortable with, even if they wanted nothing to do with him after he came out. 

He’d lied, after all. He should have told them right away. 

“I'll be right there,” he said, forcing a smile as Patton made his way upstairs to his bedroom where the others were likely waiting. “Just...give me a second.” 

This was it, then. Hopefully afterwards, it wouldn’t be too awkward. Hopefully they would still be willing to keep him around as a friend. 

They were all waiting for him by the time he made it to Roman’s room, the three of them sprawled out on the bed in a pile of laughs and smiles, and Virgil’s heart felt like it was trying to break through his chest. 

He loved them so much. He wanted nothing more than to forget all of this and be held in their arms, content and warm until the sun came up. 

But putting it off wasn’t fair to them. And it wasn’t fair to him either. 

“Virgil!” Roman exclaimed, and Virgil felt lightheaded at the fond, excited looks he was being given. “Come help us choose a movie!” 

He almost chickened out again, just for a second. But he couldn’t panic. Not until it was out in the open and he could deal with the consequences. 

After tonight, he could very well end up alone again. Isolated like a villain. 

Why did he have to keep turning out to be different? Why was he always meant to end up alone? 

“In a second,” he said, stopping just inside the doorway. “I...I need to say something first, if that’s ok.”

Their smiles dropped slightly, but their gentle, welcoming expressions never wavered. The three of them sat up in bed, scooting forward as Patton nodded. 

“Of course, honey,” he said. “What’s on your mind?” 

He was actually doing this. He just...had to figure out how to start. 

Virgil took a breath and stuffed his hands in his pockets to hide how they’d begun to shake. “Just to- just to get it out there to make it easier for you guys...I- I get it if you want to break up with me after this.”  

That got their attention, their heads snapping up with wide, wary eyes. Virgil couldn’t quite bring himself to look at them anymore. 

“I’m just saying,” he muttered, and god he was shaking so bad. “I’ll understand.” 

The silence only stretched on another few seconds before Logan cleared his throat. “We’re listening, Virgil.” 

Ok. Ok he could do this. He...really should have planned out what he was going to say first. 

“I should have told you right away,” he started. “I know I should have. It’s not fair to you guys and I’m...I’m really sorry that I didn’t. I wasn’t trying to...to lie or- or lead you on or anything, I just...love you guys. A lot. I’ve loved being with you and I wasn’t ready to...you know...ruin that.” 

“Virge? What...what did you do, darling?” 

It was passed off as a joke, the Prince forcing a small smile, but there was serious concern behind it. 

Virgil quickly shook his head. “It’s not...I didn’t realize that it would be, you know, an issue. But you guys want...you want someone who’s not...me. Because- because I’m…” 

Say it, just say it. 

“I’m asexual. And you guys...I shouldn’t have kept that from you. I’m sorry. I’m just...sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” 

And that was...it. That was it. They knew now. 

They knew, and they could react how they wanted. If they were angry, Virgil wouldn’t blame him. If they were disgusted and demanded he leave...Virgil wouldn’t fight it, no matter how badly it hurt. 

He knew them better than to truly assume that would be the case, but the thought was still there. 

Furious or not, there was no way they’d trust him enough to keep him in the relationship. 

But he had to hold it together until the end of the conversation. He’d escape as soon as they let him, and then...and then he’d readjust to being alone. 

Unfortunately, none of them seemed particularly inclined to answer, the silence stretching on a moment too long. He risked a glance up from the floor, hunching his shoulders when he caught Logan’s eye. 

“Virgil,” the logical side said. “Come sit down, please.”

He quickly shook his head, taking a step back. He didn’t need a long, drawn out ending to this. He wouldn’t be able to hold it together that long. 

“You...you guys don’t have to--” 

“Virgil,” Patton cut him off, scooting aside to make room. “Come over here and talk to us.” 

And he’d never be able to deny Patton anything, would he? Not when he sounded so desperate. 

Virgil moved forward on shaky legs, focusing solely on his breathing to keep himself from crying, ending up seated in between Patton and Logan, Roman pressed up against the moral side. 

“This doesn’t need to be a conversation,” he said, just wanting to get out. “I...I said I would understand.” 

Virgil jumped when there was a hand against his cheek, Logan suddenly cupping his jaw and turning his head until they were face to face, the logical side’s eyes piercing behind his glasses. 

“Virgil,” Logan started, sounding almost breathless. “How...on earth could you think this would end in a break up?” 

Virgil blinked, wondering if this was some kind of trick question. “What? I don’t--” 

“Darling,” Roman said, and the Prince was suddenly scooting over to sit in front of Virgil, the three of them surrounding him. “You thought we would leave if you came out as Ace?” 

Virgil shook his head because no, that...that wasn’t the problem. Not entirely, anyway. “It’s not...guys I lied. You asked me to be in a relationship with you and I didn’t say anything.” 

“You did not lie,” Logan said, never dropping his hand from Virgil’s face. “You just were not ready to come out yet. You and I both know there is a substantial difference.” 

There was a hand suddenly slipping into his own, and Virgil startled when he realized it was Patton’s, the moral side’s free hand now running fingers through his hair. 

“You weren’t comfortable sharing that part of yourself,” he said. “That’s totally ok, sweetheart. No one’s mad at you. I’m just glad you said something before something...happened.” 

Logan’s hand suddenly dropped, his eyes big and painfully worried, and Virgil had to force himself not to look away. 

“Virgil,” he said slowly. “You do not...owe us anything. Especially not something like sex. If we made you feel like--” 

“What? Jesus- no.” Virgil moved his hand away from Patton, pulling his knees up to his chest, squeezing his eyes shut to try to get a hold of himself. “It wasn’t...I just thought...it would be too...t-too much to deal with, you know?” 

They weren’t breaking up with him. They weren’t. He’d been stupid to think that. There was no reason he should still be so upset. 

He couldn’t make them feel guilty. He couldn’t make them think they’d been the ones to do something wrong when they’d been nothing but perfect. He couldn’t--

“Oh Virgil.” 

Too late he realized the tears had started to spill over, his face burning as he pressed a hand against his mouth to try and muffle any treacherous sobs. 

There was a pair of arms around him, warm and grounding, and it took Virgil a moment to realize it was Roman, gently guiding him into the embrace. He didn’t fight it, falling limp against the Prince’s chest with a pathetic choking noise. 

“S-sorry,” he managed in between sobs. “I’m sorry, I- I don’t know why I’m...I sh-should have told you, I- I thought you’d...I thought you’d run out of reasons to- to want me.” 

“We could never,” Roman whispered, holding him tight. Patton moved forward to rub circles along his back, Logan reaching out to squeeze his hand. “You’re beautiful, Virgil. And this doesn’t change a thing.”

It didn’t make sense. None of it made any sense. If one of them had come out, it would be different. But with him...there was already so much to deal with, so much they were forced to handle. 

Eventually, it had to get to be too much, right? He’d already figured they’d get fed up with the extra steps they had to take to respect his boundaries, Virgil always a little more wary when it came to being vulnerable. 

But they all sounded so...genuine. Princey hadn’t once loosened his hold, still whispering quiet reassurances, Patton was back to running his fingers through Virgil’s hair, pressing kisses to his free hand. 

And Logan still held on tight, counting out familiar breathing exercises just loud enough for Virgil to hear, always knowing how to calm him down. 

When he finally managed to calm down, taking in deep, shuddering breaths, he reluctantly pulled away from Roman, wiping at his eyes as he stared down at his lap. 

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I never thought...I wouldn’t have let you guys do anything. I was always gonna tell you eventually I just...kept putting it off.” 

“That is quite alright,” Logan said, sounding oddly hesitant. “But I...don’t think I could forgive myself if we had taken the next step without realizing you would not enjoy it.” 

Virgil nodded, forcefully pushing down the sickening panic at the thought. “I know. I wouldn’t have let that happen. I promise.” 

Patton and Logan both squeezed his hands, Patton tilting forward to press a kiss to his temple before leaning his forehead on Virgil’s shoulder. He allowed himself to lean into the touch, taking another shaky breath before continuing. 

“I’m...I am sorry though. If this complicates things.” 

Roman cocked his head slightly, frowning. “Complicates things?” 

“Yeah,” Virgil said, hoping he wasn’t about to refute every wonderful thing that had just been said. “We’re...in a relationship. And you all want...I mean, Roman you’re pretty much all romance, so I know you want--” 

He cut himself off, caught completely off guard when Roman started laughing. 

“Sorry,” the Prince said quickly, smiling at the exasperated looks Virgil realized the others were giving him. “Sorry, I just...gosh, Virgil can I kiss you?” 

Virgil blinked, mind suddenly completely blank. “I...uh, sure?” 

True to his word, Roman was suddenly cupping Virgil’s face in both his hands, gently pressing their lips together, and just like always Virgil melted against the touch, completely safe for just a single, blissful moment. 

When Roman pulled back, he met Virgil’s gaze, brimming with nothing but adoration and love. “Virgil, darling, you really think I see something as trivial as sex romantic?”

“I mean...yeah?” 

“Virgil, I love you. You, not...not what you have to offer. I love seeing you in the mornings, and holding you...I love hearing your voice. I want to cook you dinners and pick you flowers and sing for you. That’s romantic, Virge. Not...not something as small as sex. That’s not what’s important. Not to me.” 

“I, for once, am in agreement with Roman,” Logan said. “Sexual intimacy has never been of importance to me. It certainly does not hold enough power to damage our relationship in any way if you do not desire it. And it certainly has no power over my feelings for you.” 

Virgil was suddenly dangerously close to crying again. “I--” 

“Besides, there is no logical reason for us to engage in sexual intercourse. We are not human, so the need to reproduce does not--” 

Roman thankfully cut him off with a kiss, Logan making a noise somewhere between surprise and annoyance, but reciprocated without further complaint. 

Patton was suddenly taking both of Virgil’s hands, their fingers laced together, and Virgil suddenly wasn't quite so scared to meet the moral side’s eyes. 

“I don’t care about something silly like that,” Patton said. “I just care about you, honey. The four of us being safe and happy and together. If we all just cuddle and tell each other how much we love each other...nothing else could ever make me that happy. So don’t you worry about a thing, ok?” 

Virgil wasn’t sure whether he laughed or sobbed, but he was smiling back at Patton, at the people who surrounded him with unconditional love, and he nodded. 

“Ok,” he agreed, feeling lighter than he thought he ever had. “Thank you. All of you. I...I love you all. So much.” 

Within moments they were all tangled up in each other, the television playing an old comfort movie, Virgil wrapped up in Logan’s arms with his head against Roman’s chest, Patton leaned against his legs.