#rokovoya

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐒  𝐈𝐓  𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐌𝐒  𝐏𝐑𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓  𝐓𝐎  𝐒𝐀𝐘  𝐒𝐎  ,  perhaps  more  hypocritical  .  their  lives  have  interwoven  backstories  upon  backstories  ,  a  montage  of  facades  created  for  the  sake  of  their  own  survival  ,  their  own  missions  .  have  they  not  each  died  for  the  sake  of  one  legend  ending  and  another  one  to  begin  ?  while  they  now  sit  ,  hovering  in  wait  for  a  target  their  own  chatter  seems  to  be  solely  for  the  sake  of  passing  time  ,  a  stroll  down  memory  lane  (  or  at  least  what  was  left  of  it  )  ❛    you  know  ,   ❜  this  is  partially  reminiscent  ,  part  stagnant  phrase  ,  ❛  they  always  say  you  don’t  get  to  die  and  come  back  the  same  .  i  just  never  thought  they  meant  like  this  .    ❜  

so , mostly , wrt to the red room affair , the core was the intimacy of hating the same thing / concepts / situations. it was a lot of....take whatever / remove whatever before it was done to you , and the whole concept of fraternizing with shostakov's wife - to - be is so....functionally petty , lmao. i do think what they had was real , that it was heavy and raw and it left it’s mark , but i don’t think that it was love , not really. i don’t think it was so cosmically special that , had they met a different person in the same situation , it wouldn’t have played out the same way.  like , the fact that they find eachother again , and they put in work to make it sustainable is special —— that they care about each other beyond just those means to the end of getting back at the oppressive systems they were bound to , that they see each other as people & love each other completely irrespective of what they did , or what they do , or who they are. i just feel like that exists in a seperate space to what they had in the red room , that they’re two different things. they knew eachother then , but they love who the other is now.

@rokovoya / you’re going down

   “I just want you to know that’s very rude.”

         ❛   i  never  got  the  chance  to  thank  you  for           dragging  my  ass  out  of  there.   it  was  a  close  call.   ❜        the  tests  were  brutal,  no  code  words  to  unlock  his  terror  unlike  bucky  barnes.    according  to  hydra’s  key  intellect,  there  were  suspicions  that  subject  ethan  grey  had  dormant  inhuman  genetics  that  could  be  the  end  all  if  hela  steps  on  earth.    his  nose  is  broken  and  still  spewing  blood  from  force  torture  that  triggered  utmost  sinister  powers.    there’s  little  documentation,  if  any,  would  be  locked  in  strucker’s  lab  to  hide  from  the  avengers.    at  first,  one  touch  of  this  man  could  kill  the  unfortunate  recipient;  with  a  long  process  of  experiments,  ethan  was  able  to  pinpoint  his  touch  of  death.          ❛  it  doesn’t  hurt,  it  looks  way  worse  than  what  it  is.   ❜           high  pain  tolerance  comes  with  the  unholy  cards  given.     &  with  this  much  disfigurement,  any  normal  human  being  would  be  unconscious.   he  hardly  looks  to  natasha  for  comfort,  having  not  known  anything  of  this  empathy  thus  far,   figures  to  keep  his  gaze  on  the  blood  dripping  on  the  ground.

Winter Widow | A Mix Tape1. Dust to Dust | The Civil Wars2. Run | Daughter3. Ghosts That We Knew | Mumford & Sons4. Bang Bang | Nancy Sinatra5. King & the Lionheart | Of Monsters & MenMad Swan | A Mix Tape1. Frozen | Within Temptation2. Do I Wanna Know? | Arctic Monkeys3. Untangle Me | The Maine4. Guarded | Kevin Daniel5. Sarah Smiles | Panic! At the Disco

        “  i’m not lookin’ for CHARITY. just a paycheck...’an this is ‘bout the only thing i’m good at.  ”  he wanted to be left alone but it didn’t take long for S.H.I.E.L.D. to sniff him out. at first he continued to lay low, try and shake them. but he had to be honest with himself. he had to acknowledge his experiences LIMIT him. after all, it’s just easier to go back to being a soldier, a weapon. all the bureaucratic rubbish he learned before his banishment is all worthless now. but fighting? being aimed in a direction and given a mission is EASY. but even still that he is working for them, he often feels the need to reiterate just how much he wants to be left alone. no one seems to listen or understand. but this ms. romanova, she seems SENSIBLE. // @rokovoya  s.c. ♛