#rodolphuslestranges

What I hate about this question is that the answer is clearly Salazar, and he bloody knows it.

OOC: Because this is 1977, I went and looked for era appropriate clothes, so here, instead of describing them, lemme share pictures under the read more:

I am so bored of France's 'quaint' villages. If there aren't custom leather goods within a half mile radius, I'm really not interested.

“So then I said, ‘there’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. it would be a pity to damage yours,’ and then she slapped me,” Arturo snickered taking a sip from his wine as he spoke to Rodolphus. He pulled out a rolled cigarette, and rolled it betwixt the fingers of his left hand. “So yeah, my date did not end well.” Arturo placed the cigarette between his flesh pink lips and snapped his fingers; at the tip of his thumb, a small flame flickered. He puffed and lit the cigarette before he shoot his hand and the flame went out. Arturo took a long inhale puffed perfect smoke rings in various shapes towards the pub ceiling.

which half of your OTP

can’t stick to the grocery list: Evan

would be addicted to Netflix (and chill, if applicable): Alice would be and she would drag Evan with him, who would try to turn it into Netflix and chill

manages the joint account: Alice

is the better city driver and why: neither, they both do either broom travel or apparation and neither would get their license

walks around the house in their underwear: Evan

which one prefers to watch Game of Thrones and which one prefers the books: Evan prefers the show, Alice prefers neither (too violent for her), but would curl up against Evan and probably fall asleep on his shoulders while watching with him

has the higher alcohol tolerance: Evan for sure

instigates sex most often: Evan

likes having candles around the house: Alice

always misses the clothes hamper: Evan

gets the first gray hair: Evan and Alice laughs fondly when he tells her and then tells him he will look good with grey hair too

is more protective: both, just in different ways; they would go through fire for the other

prefers a quiet night in: Alice

likes to go on drives to nowhere in particular: neither

is in charge of the radio or playlist in the car (and what do they play)?: neither in the car, and when they are other places, they usually divide, once it’s Evan and other times it’s Alice, because they have really different tastes and don’t really like the other’s taste

reaches over to hold the other’s hand: Alice

is more likely to hog the bed: Evan with a smug face, and Alice would just laugh and lie on top of him

favors lazy morning sex: Alice

likes to drink their coffee or tea outside in the mornings: both of them, it’s just coffee for Evan and tea for Alice (all I can see is Alice visiting his family home and the two of them watching the sunrise together with their hot beverages under a blanket)

reads the paper or watches the news: Alice, and then tells Evan most of the things she read

feeds and takes care of the stray cat that hangs around the house (and pretty much makes it not a stray): both

chooses the color of paint for the walls: Alice would want to let Evan choose, Evan wouldn’t really care, so they choose together

comes home with the weirder work stories: Alice

takes long baths: they usually prefer showers, except when they take the bath together

has the full skin care routine: Alice

gives the other a massage when they seem tense: Evan (Alice would ask what she can do to help, and if that is a massage, then she would give it too)

is more easily turned on

prefers to kick back with a drink in the evenings: Evan

stays up too late reading: Alice