#rocbee

I never clowned nobody for being in love.

I just never thought it would hit me like that.

I had rules though.

Quiet ones.

The kind you don’t say out loud

but you move by them.

Don’t get too attached.

Don’t let somebody be your whole mood.

Don’t let silence make you sick.

And somehow

I broke every last one.

I ain’t never think I’d lose my appetite

over somebody leaving.

Never thought I’d replay conversations

like did i miss something or im trippin

Never thought I’d sit in a car

longer than I had to

just thinking.

That wasn’t me.

I’m the one that keep it pushing.

The one that adjust quick.

The one that don’t fold.

But you left

and I felt it in my chest for real.

Couldn’t even fake unbothered.

Couldn’t even lie to myself about it.

And that’s when I realized

I ain’t break my rules because I’m weak.

I broke them because I was real.

I actually cared.

I actually tried.

I actually let somebody see me

without the cool mask on.

Yeah, it hurt.

Yeah, it humbled me.

But it also showed me

I’m capable of loving deeper

than I thought I could.

I broke all my rules for you.

And even though you gone,

I ain’t mad I did.

I’d rather know I can feel like that

than walk around pretending

nothing ever moves me.