#robert rp

Robert didn't know what to say when the box of puppies were thrust into his arms. The rather miffed older woman down the hall declared them his problem now since his dog knocked up her "sweet baby angel" and left before he could present any evidence to disprove her claim. It was hard to deny it though, they looked like less pudgy carbon copies of Beef.

Robert closed the door to his apartment and turned around, box of 10 sleeping puppies in his arms.

"I don't know how you did it Beef, but you're a dad now."

"I'm not sure either, Robert. I don't have any balls," Beef responded in Robert's funny voice.

"You could start your own religion," he let out a sigh. "Well, I can't keep them all." He set the box on the floor, arms on his hips as he looked down at the sleeping fuzzy logs. "And I have to go to work..." which then gave him an idea: the Z-Team plus Blazer loved Beef, maybe they would adopt some miracle mini-Beefs.

It didn't take long for the puppies to be claimed, and as Robert had suspected, each member of the team plus his boss happily scooped up a puppy.

"Anyone want to tell me how my dog became a father," Robert asked over the mic once shift had started.

"Duh. Bob-Bob. He had sex with a girl dog. Beef is getting more than you are." Snickering from the team followed suit.

"Eloquent as always, Flambae, but there's a problem with that. Beef is neutered. "

Silence.

"He's got no balls," Robert continued, making sure to to really draw out the balls portion of his sentence before getting cut off by Flamebae.

"I know what neutered means, bitch!"

"Whateva, least we got cute puppies now," Prism pipped in next.

"Right, because I trusted a group of people who can barely take care of themselves to take care of a puppy."

"Shut up, bitch! Like you got any room to talk with your flat ass and weak-ass arms."

"Sonar, you've been awfully quiet."

"Don't know what you're talking about, Boberito."

"Riiiiiight, because I believe you," Robert rubbed circles into his temples. "Whatever. We have a shift to finish."

"If I knew where he was, I would absolutely tell him. Without the dare."

Where I go off about one of my fixations and apply it to another one.

Setting is probably Eberron. The world gives pulp fiction/detective noir vibes that I feel are just right.

Robert is definitely an Artificer, Armorer subclass. Comes from a line of artificers, so probably in House Cannith, but not a Dragonmarked member. Grew up knowing that he was going to be an artificer and that he would take up the family mantel of being an armorer like his grandfather and father, both of whom died in the Last War.

His grandfather died a war hero, which gave his family some station within the house, mainly because of the ingenuity of his suit and the lives he saved. His father was also killed in action, and the people were made to believe that he also died a hero; however, House Cannith made sure that Robert knew that this was not the case (he was killed by a fellow soldier who has since deserted and is MIA) and that he owed them a great debt because they had poured a lot of funding into his father's suit. They couldn't just send out a child into battle though, so they utilized his knowledge instead, up until the Mourning happened, which ended the war.

Robert still owed the House a considerable amount of money, and so turned to scrapping, mild adventuring, and other random jobs to make money. The main thing he did was scrapping, which mainly involved him going into the Mournlands, gathering anything that might be seen as useful and either selling it to local Scrap Lords, or giving it to the House (mainly if what he found pertained to warforges, artificer-related things, or creation forges). He also took this time to gather more information on his father's death and trying to track down the solider, Shroud, who killed him.

Happy transparency day

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Flambae

Malevola

Phenomaman

I found beef's cousin