#ro rant

OOOH I haven't properly hated Ro in AGES

I am going to make a list for you okay

-> She's a plot device to force Sokeefe together.

I hate people who argue that Sophie trusted Keefe more than Fitz in Legacy because she told him about being unmatchable first.

Like, no. Ro threatened Keefe's life to force that secret out of Sophie's throat.

Sophie did not trust anyone with that secret, but Ro only saw it as something embarrassing she could use against Sophie. I don't understand why people jumped on the hate train with Alden for "meddling" but let Ro off the hook. Wait, yes, I do know.

She constantly does this: force Sophie and Keefe to tell things to each other. Or tell those things inspite of either of them not wanting the other to know.

She literally confessed for Keefe in Stellarlune ffs (Chapter 22).

She's also the biggest offender of Show don't Tell. The worst thing is, she's the least equipped to do this because she doesn't know the characters she's talking about at all.

E.g. in that confession scene in Stellarlune. She makes a speech about how Sophie and Keefe "balance each other out" and said (paraphrased:) "He boosts your confidence, and you keep his ego in check."

Sophie keeps Keefe's ego in check?? I need to calm down, this isn't a Sokeefe rant. But what I mean to say is, that's complete bullshit, just like the rest of her speech. Speeches.

Ro is constantly interrupting with her comments about Sophie and Keefe. She also ships them for all the wrong reasons, like the reason she started shipping it was in a scene where Sophie was so upset at Keefe she didn't speak to him for an entire week.

-> She's a plot device to praise the heck out of Sophie and make Fitz look like trash.

Does she or does she not compare Fitz' s eye colour to bacteria?(She does)

She's also infantilising the heck out of Sophie and her emotions.

Sophie is soooo cute when she's angry at Keefe! Sophie is so cute when she is oblivious, Sophie is so cute when this, Sophie is so cute when that! Sophie is going to punch you in the face (I wish)

I'm convinced she's the biggest reason why there was a Fitz hate train. She was the conductor.

Calling him "Perfectpants" and "Boringpants" must have sticked in some people's brains because people keep calling Fitz perfect and boring.

She also kept predicting what Fitz would do despite not knowing him AT ALL and not bothering to know him. "Oh he would be so jealous" "Oh he cares so much about his legacy" Shut up. You have never spoken to this boy in your life.

Same thing with Alden. Again, she's the conductor for his hate train.

She says that Alden is meddling and manipulating Keefe, and what a shitty thing to say about a man who did his best to offer a safe place to an abused child and did his best to be a safe person and role model for that child. Ro is just jealous because she can't compete.

She always acts like she knows every character like she personally wrote them. She is basically Shannon's incredibly biased mouthpiece. And I hate that because she spreads misinformation.

No, Fitz did not say "But We're Cognates" that often. In fact, I'm not sure how Ro is aware of that because Fitz has not been able to say that catchphrase in Nightfall (someone always said it for him).

No, Sophie was never able to stop Keefe from making a stupid decision. I don't know where Ro got that part.

-> She does not shut the fuck up and never takes shit seriously.

You have no idea how bad I was losing my mind in that scene where she was making jokes about Dimitar and Cadfael fighting.

I just pray this is karma for her.

Can this GROWN WOMAN stop acting like a CHILD and lock in for a sec. Seriously.

It's just like when she learned that Keefe was gone.

She was playing around with Elwin, and when she got bored, she started shipping Sokeefe. Give me a break.

She's such a yapper. Such a yapper. The yapper of the Lost Cities.

Her dialogue is the worst to read for me.

She uses nicknames all the time, to the point where I doubt she even knows any of these people's name... and how can she pretend to care for them if that's the case?

Can you stop calling Sophie "Blondie"? Can you stop calling Fitz "Captain Perfectpants"? Can you stop calling Dex "Sophie's techy friend"? Can you sybau?

Can you stop with your super extended syllables? If I read another "soooooooooo" or "annnnnnnnnnd" I am taking my eyeballs out and shooting her with them.

-> Her lack of seriousness and propensity to joke are ruining emotional beats in the story.

Sophie and Dex's conversation about Rex being Talentless would've been actually sad if Ro wasn't there to call Dex and Keefe "overly dramatic" and tell Dex that he's "being a pain".

If Cadfael planning to take over Ravagog had been announced to Bo or ANY ACTUAL ADULT this plotline would have actually interested me. Instead, Ro made it into a joke. A very, very long joke. The joke went on for an entire chapter.

And her jokes aren't even funny?? They're either mean spirited and misandrist, or they're about farts, bacteria and body odor. How mature.

If she hadn't been in Sophie's room when Fitz and Sophie were discussing the unmatchable thing, the conversation would have been actually memorable, and I could've quoted something for this post.

But nope, Ro chose to be a smartass.

-> Speaking of smartass, she's so overly cocky I don't understand how no one has called her out on her bullshit yet.

In Stellarlune, there's a scene where Sophie and Edaline try to guess Gisela's next move, and Ro goes all that about making herself look strong and wanting people to know it, and calling Gisela a pussy for doing the opposite.

First of all, has Ro never heard of a Wolf in Sheep's Clothing? It's a really good song by Set It Off.

And second of all, the only attack Ro held against Gisela was blocked with two fingers and a sigh. She is in no position to brag.

She legit thinks she's the better warrior between Cadfael and herself. I'm sorry but this is just funny to me.

Sophie tells her that Cadfael could've been losing on purpose, and Ro argues that if that's the case, he was stupid because she broke up with him for being too weak.

So??? He still let you win. Probably because you're the princess and he's trying to not get himself killed by your father. He still is 100% the better warrior.

We actually see Cadfael's display of pure strength and battle IQ when he tore off one of the trolls' tooth and stabbed him with it. I'm sorry, I'm not seeing anything like that from Ro's part?

So is Sandor, by the way. They're both so much better than her.

-> She's so damn incompetent.

With all these flaws and all these annoying quirks of her, you'd think she's at least a good fighter. But no.

I'm not holding this completely against her: the other bodyguards are almost as useless.

But with Ro it gets to a point, it's embarrassing. If she really is the best warrior in Ravagog, the ogres are an endangered species.

In Nightfall, she throws a bunch of daggers at illusions of Vespera.

Upon realising this is a trick, this idiot womanchild continued throwing all her weapons anyway.

Stupidity is not making a mistake, it's making a mistake over and over and never fucking learn.

She stupidly charges the Neverseen in that same book and gets shot with soporidine and is useless for the rest of the showdown.

Who's dumb enough to charge at people with long distance weapons?? Who charges people behind a forcefield, wtf?? Who charges people when you're only advantage was surprise??

Then there's the dagger scene with Gisela in Flashback. How embarrassing. Personally if that was me I would've gone home. Packed my suitcase and made my apologies for being too cocky.

She does nothing during the entire showdown at Everglen btw.

Sophie is lucky Cadfael was there to take all the trolls basically by himself. At least Sandor killed one.

In Stellarlune, she admits not having put any tracker on Keefe because after all his mother has put him through, she figured she could do this favor for him.

I'm not going to lie, this was sweet. But also incredibly out of character.

For once, I would've liked for Ro's lack of empathy to come in handy. I know this was just an excuse to not find Keefe too soon, but still.

-> She is flat and uninteresting.

And the worst part is, I don't think Shannon realise it.

Some characters are just so much more interesting but she gets all the page time and dialogue and scenes WHY

She doesn't even have a character development! She's been the same since her first scene!

The only thing that changes about her is that she loses patience in Stellarlune and confesses to Sophie on behalf of Keefe (why does Keefe not want to punch her in the face oh my days)

She's still the same obnoxious, rude, insensitive, ignorant, loud-mouthed, nosy, judgemental and petty Ro that we meet in Nightfall, and yet no one ever calls her out-

Arguably she's getting worse. And yet everyone loves her??

Even Grizel ffs. Why does she like Ro. There is not one good reason why. All Ro does is being mean to Grizel's two favourite people, I don't see why she'd like her in the slightest.