#rkdec16eval

♪ ~ 거리에 함께 나온 연인들 밤새 들려오는 노랫소리들 ~ ♪

the girls were certainly an interesting group, a mix of talents and looks that somehow ended up working well together. they were the perfect balance in her completely biased opinion.

♪ ~ 가만히 빛을 내는 촛불에 지금 내 마음을 비춰 보일까 ~ ♪

jieqiong was glad she was able to smile freely in this performance, not missing the opportunity to let the curve of her lips set the mood for the song as her body swayed to the music. her eyes, while staying on the audience most of the time (there were admittedly a few times she smiled extra wide for her closer friends she saw watching them but she's sure no one noticed), filtered between her group mates. she watched each of them sing or rap their lines with pride in her heart.

they were killing it to put as unbiasedly as possible.

♪ ~ 올겨울이 지나고 또다시 겨울이 와도 서로 잡은 두 손 놓치지 말자 ~ ♪

the christmas spirit was floating high above their heads - coating everyone in holiday cheer and beckoning the tiniest hint of a smile from the grumpiest grinch. their voices light and cheerful as one could get, jieqiong was delighted when she found a few smiles to match theirs. after all, who could resist christmas music and pretty voices?

♪ ~ 지금 네 바램이 들려 저 하늘까지 들려 나도 오늘 밤엔 같은 소원 빌게 될 거야  ~ ♪

as the end of their performance neared, so did the holiday. time was speeding rapidly at them, taking christmas from the before they could even realize. a holiday loved by jieqiong, it simply went by too fast for her liking. she loved the lights, the music, the people joined together to celebrate amongst one another or to perform like those who had prepared for this day. they needed christmas twice a year, that was the only solution - jieqiong's thinking.

very wishful thinking, it would never happen but hey, let a girl dream.

♪ ~ 많은 시간들이 흘러가도 우리들의 사랑 지금처럼만 간직해주길 기도해 ~ ♪

in jinwook’s opinion, artistry shouldn’t be measured on a scale, but it’s unavoidable here, isn’t it? he’s supposed to have peers but most trainees are on an entirely different level, so much so that it’s hard to tell if they’re even playing the same game. this is ( probably, logically, obviously? ) just a result of training for so long…  but it could be something inherent - some talents that jinwook just doesn’t have, no matter how much potential baek jiyoung and hyun bin claimed to see in him.

jinri tells him not to be so hard on himself, and jinwook knows it’s not fair to compare himself to trainees who have had professional lessons for years. he knows the necessary strength, stamina, and control will build with time. it’s still frustrating to struggle through hours of dance training each day with no results to indicate that proficiency lies anywhere on the horizon. it’s still frustrating that he’s expected to strain for higher notes in vocal lessons, knowing full well that his voice just isn’t capable of hitting them yet.

so he sticks to something more comfortable for his very first performance as a trainee: an acoustic arrangement of a familiar song, with a familiar friend. baekhyun and lisa needed accompaniment for their duet, and when baekhyun sticks around to mess around with christmas carols after practice time, one thing leads to another. it just makes sense in the end. there’s no point in attempting to show off new skills when there aren’t any quite yet.

he’s been wearing caps more often lately, to hide his terribly grown-out roots. ( his excuses are threefold: baekhyun’s too busy to do touchups these days; jinwook doesn’t want to pay to get it done professionally; and yet it’s not quite long enough to snip the bleached bits completely. solution: hats. )

tonight it’s a santa hat instead of a baseball cap, the cheap scratchy kind - comfort sacrificed for the sake of holiday spirit. despite the itchy scalp, it does help put jinwook in a good mood as he watches everyone’s performances, though sitting with jinri tends to do that on its own. it’s a good few hours of enjoyment before jinwook eventually follows baekhyun backstage for their turn.

they go on right after a flashy ariana grande dance cover, and as jinwook rushes to hook up the keyboard on stage he does his best to keep cool — “idols should know how to contain that energy as soon as you stand in front of your audience” — the critique from his audition panel lurks in his memory, and he visibly relaxes his shoulders. he’s confident in his preparation, and the nerves stemming from the daunting concept of being evaluated will have to be repressed for just a few minutes.

baekhyun introduces himself as jinwook finishes setting up. “i’m kim jinwook,” he adds once he’s settled, “from sphere.” he tests the sound on the keyboard with a simple arppegiated chord. it’s a bit jazzy, hopefully setting the mood. “it’s getting late, so we’re going to dial it back down a little,” he says, shooting a small smile to baekhyun. “this is ‘the christmas song.’”

jinwook begins to play the keyboard as he sings the first verse. neither part is particularly difficult, but he’s pleased by the acoustics of the stage. with the quiet audience, soft lighting, and warm arrangement, the performance seems fit to set the mood for the dim lounge of a holiday party.

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire Jack Frost nipping at your nose Yuletide carols being sung by a choir And folks dressed up like Eskimos

the spotlight turns to baekhyun for the middle section. his english is notoriously sloppy, and jinwook soft-smiles as he listens and plays along. it’s not like jinwook’s pronunciation is even close to perfect either, especially with so many unfamiliar words in this song, but he’s proud of his friend for all the extra work he’s put in. as long as the audience can understand “chestnuts roasting” at the beginning and “merry christmas” at the end, he thinks they’ll be okay.

as baekhyun hits his high note at the climax of the song, jinwook leans back into the mic to ease them out of it, the last verse softer again.

So I’m offering this simple phrase To kids from one to ninety-two Although it’s been said many times, many ways Merry Christmas to you

jinwook smiles, looking to the audience this time as he repeats the last line, fingers dancing across the keyboard keys. merry christmas~, he sings, baekhyun joining in to harmonize on each adlib. they’ve always gotten along well, so it’s only natural that their voices are agreeable as well. making the arrangement had been a breeze too, each aspect flowing together as if the two had practically been destined to work together.

jinwook tilts his head, the white tip of his santa hat swinging in front of him. with the last merry christmas to you~, he leans back to let his voice fade as he plays the outro, a brief ‘jingle bells’ motif. the last chord lingers as jinwook grins at baekhyun again. “merry christmas!” they chime.

he releases the last note and looks out at the audience, many faces familiar by now even if jinwook hadn’t formally met them all. beyond the audience sits the panel of ceos, no doubt full of critiques for the evaluation. if jinwook didn’t necessarily impress, he at least set the warm mood he intended to create. that’s what the holiday spirit is all about - heart. baek jiyoung is full of it, and jinwook hopes one day he’ll prove that he’s worthy of her faith in him.

in her previous performances, aside from when she and the rest of the nova girls performed superstar, dawon had always performed sadder songs that helped to show off each of her vocal strengths. this time, however, was different; she’d have the opportunity to put her soul into a performance without trying to belt out constant high notes; paying less attention to high notes was part of the advice she’d received from the nova instructor, after all.

모두가 우리 둘의 만남을 축복하는 예쁜 선물들 같아

the smile that accompanies her singing comes naturally, given the fact that she’s genuinely having a good time. everything did seem like a gift, and dawon couldn’t be happier. this year has proved itself to be one of best she’s experienced in quite some time, and she mostly has two sole contributors to thank for this. there were several others, such as each of her friends, sure—but she’s mostly thinking of two in particular. two great blessings that have become a major part of her life.

살짝 네 가슴에 기대 안겨 먼저 말을 할까 나를 느끼는 너의 모든 걸 사랑해

even so, despite the fact that there were two major factors to the success of her year, she certainly doesn’t find her mind wandering to hyun bin. sure, he’d taken one major chance on the girl, given the fact that he’d never actually seen her dance, and for that, dawon is grateful. however, despite her abundance of gratitude, she still finds herself slightly afraid of her own ceo. maybe she’d get to know him better down the road, though she sincerely doubts it. still, she likes to believe that he’s trying his best, and for that, she respects him.

이렇게 너와 함께 있는 나 세상 누구보다 행복하다고

no, in the midst of the performance, she finds her mind gravitating towards a prominent figure: yoo jiae. perhaps jiae is the reason she finds herself able to connect with this song, identifying with the lyrics just as her grandfather had taught her what felt like a lifetime ago. she considers sunday to be her sunlight, her luck. without having the other female around, she’s unsure if she’d be as happy as she is today. in a way, it almost feels as though jiae is helping to completely turn her life around, helping it to become something better.

살짝 네 가슴에 기대 안겨 먼저 말을 할까 나를 느끼는 너의 모든 걸 사랑해

she’s slightly confused as to how well she’s connecting with a love song, given the fact that she and jiae were nothing but close friends, though she tries not to dwell too long on the subject. she waves it off, figuring the two of them simply share a special bond. maybe this connection she felt was simply proof that they were destined to be close with one another, almost as though she’d found the missing piece to a puzzle that would have otherwise remained incomplete. she’d gotten lucky.

살짝 네 가슴에 기대 안겨 먼저 말을 할까 나를 느끼는 너의 모든 걸

towards the end of the song, they’re each singing together, and dawon discovers that she enjoys this part of the performance the most. for the first time in a long time, she’s enjoying herself onstage, showcasing a look of genuine happiness. she’s grateful for the opportunity to perform with the other trainees, and she prays that they’re experiencing this same feeling of joy.

this performance definitely made elly tear up a few times. well, maybe more than she would like to admit, but it just felt like she had a new family beside her? yeah, hopefully that made sense to everyone, because she wouldn’t say it say it out loud more than once.

so now as they walked on the stage, all wearing christmas themed onsies, the female rapper managed to squeeze herself next to wendy, a wide smile spread across her lips as she looked at the other female.

elly swayed casually to the song, listening to the other;s rapping and singing and paying attention to when her part would come on.

To be honest, I drank too much of that coffee Last summer, I’ve been chasing dreams so far

All I did was work, I want to travel again Let’s hit up the beach we filmed ‘Good Start’

of course, being herself, and having been influenced by minsoo more than she should have been, her arm sneaked around wendy’s waist, before giving the singer a wide grin that was obviously something jokingly suggestive that followed up the next few line.

Let’s heat it up in a hot hotel room, have some play time When the waves call us, let’s crawl out and walk in pajamas Get rid of all the leftover grudges that have been bothering us Ain’t nothin to worry about

honestly speaking, this was something she would actually rap about. having started her dream of being an idol, with the mga’s this summer, she was still chasing after them. and somehow, the more she stayed inside the company walls, and the more she spend time in samsung’s training centre, she got a better idea that she actually fit in just enough to be able to push forwards and achieve what she wanted to do.

and it’s something he looks forward to, between practicing for this song along with the practice with the trainee boys for theirs. he think about it day and night, and come performance day, he’s so, so very happy.

and nervous, because there are a lot of people watching and he wonders if everyone just knows. he isn’t subtle, even yeri could tell just by the smallest things (small, woohyun claims but they’re probably bigger signs than he thinks).

practicing with mijoo is easy. it comes naturally to sing the lines with her. everything is easy and comfortable and woohyun finds himself relishing the time spent– but come performance day, he’s scared he’s going to forget his lines altogether. breathe in, breathe out, he has to do this another time today, to perform with the other trainee boys, so this should be easy enough;

but he isn’t performing the first time with the boys– he’s performing first with mijoo, in front of countless of important people, and that’s what makes his heart beat the most.

and he’s so focused, so entirely lost in the thought of performing he jolts when fingers find his own. his head swivels to stare down at the hand wrapped around his, and he follows the appendage up to the warm smile, plastered on mijoo’s face. his heart skips a beat, and the tips of his ears tinge pink.

“oppa, it’s okay!” she murmurs, and woohyun swallows thick, smiling despite himself as she beams up at him. “we can do this!” her hand clasps his encouragingly, and woohyun grips back, shoots her his trademark boyish grin and nods his head. she continues and woohyun leans in automatically to listen to her. “just breathe, and relax! just tell yourself we’re back at the practice room again. we’ve done this before, it’’ll be okay!”

that helps a little bit, but not much. he does his best to think back to the times in the practice room, but each and every time there had been something– he was either too busy blushing at her smile, too busy being involved in her voice, or the way her lips would curl and her eyes would crinkle when she laughed, or how cute the knit sweater looked–

puppy love at it’s finest.

“you’re right,” he breathes, nodding his head. he swallows once more. “we got this.” he shoots at her, smile widening, before he lets go of her hand, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants. he lets out a soft exhale, straightening his form– and as their feet take them to the stage, woohyun doesn’t drop his smile, energized alone by mijoo’s attempt to ease his worries.

the familiar melody of the songs, the tinkling of bells that begin it make woohyun feel alight, shoulders relaxing and settling in familiarity. he smiles down at the crowd, swaying to the beat, the christmas spirit settling into his bones—into the rhythm. he tries to forgo his nervousness and instead focus on the better parts; christmas time had always been his favorite, and he was surrounded by people he adored—sharing a stage with a girl he was convinced he could grab the stars out of the night sky and place in her eyes.

mijoo starts it off, sings with a voice he’s always enjoyed, adored—and he hums and sways, smiling softly to himself, his fingers adjusting on the microphone. he crosses his eyes over the crowd with a hum, and when her voice ends and his turn begins, he lifts it up to his lips, falling into the melody and feel of the music.

"i have no choice but to say a difficult farewell,” he begins, voice falling into rhythm, just like they had practiced. “i can’t think about anything at all, so i just turn around.” their voices begin to melt together, in a pretty ring and harmony that makes his heart skip beats. what he would give to do this all the time, to sing with mijoo with no worry at all, with no obstacles, nothing to hold them back. “please wait a little for me, because being able to love again is still too overwhelming for me.”

woohyun sings with passion, the softest smile on his face. and he distracts himself from the song to look at mijoo, his smile softening even more as he watches her, standing next to her on stage—in front of all these people.

it’s a dream come true for him.

the song is albeit sad, lyric wise—but the beat and melody makes his heart light up as he continues. “please think of me, of the days we spent together since sometime last winter, until tears fall from the longing.” his voice holds the proper notes, hits the proper tunes, because singing with mijoo comes natural, because all his hard work, all his care and adoration slips in to impress and not disappoint a girl he’s come to cherish and want to keep a smile on her face for all of their days.

he readjusts his clammy grip on the microphone as mijoo begins to sing more, and he turns his body to hers, and slowly walks on the stage, keeping his eyes solely on her as they move together. he lifts his microphone to his mouth as he sings—“because i can’t forget that day, that image. i can’t think about anything at all, so i just wait.” their voices mesh together once more, and he steps close, stands in front of her with all the confidence he can muster.  “please wait a little for me, if you can wait until i’m able to understand. it’s not such a long time.”

the chorus begins again, and he allows for his smile to cross his face again, lets his voice carry on with the emotions of this performance, of this situation, of his holiday spirit and his happiness for performing with her.  the verses come like clockwork, and when they sing the notes together, their voices rising higher and higher with pitch, perfected adlibs meshing and separating into their own parts; woohyun puts his all into it, lets everything bleed forward and out because he could live in this moment forever. “please think of me, of the days we spend together since sometime last winter-- until tears all from the longing.”

it’s heart-stopping, hearing their voices mesh together and mix into a pretty melody woohyun is sure he’ll think about for days. his throat tightens with the thought, but he pours it into his voice, all the emotion that’s threatening to spill over. “please wait a little for me, me. if you can wait until i’m able to understand, me-- if you wait for me.”

“if you wait for me, it’s not such a long time. think of me, please think of me. wait for me-- of the image of me standing alone in the snow.” he reaches out for her hand, turning his attention to the crowd as he sings, holds her hand as they sing together. the last few lines of the song he spends singing with her, swaying in place as their voices mix into something pretty—and the last few na na nas have him grinning with gusto, and when the last final tinkling’s of the song begin to fade, woohyun inhales deep.

he grips her once more, and then lets go, bowing as he smiles and blurts out his thanks.

she doesn't know where the time goes, practicing with woohyun, because when she comes to, it's already performance day. she's excited than she is nervous as she waits backstage with woohyun, wiggling in her spot in excitement with her mic wedged between her palms. she spends the remaining minutes to go over the lyrics in her head a few more times, just in case, before turning to look at woohyun.

"..." her smile fades slightly at the look on his face, and she grows a little worried. is he nervous? while she thinks he couldn't be (considering he's done this way more than she has herself), her hand acts on its own and reaches for his before she realizes.

he turns and she smiles, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

"oppa, it's okay," she tells him in a hushed voice, lips curling up into a bigger smile. "we can do this! just breathe... and relax!" she takes in a deep breath and lets it out to demonstrate, giving him a nod. "just tell yourself we're back at the practice room again. we've done this before, it'll be okay!" she brings up a fist to tell him hwaiting, finally smiling again when he replies with a nod. and with that, she walks on stage with him when it's their turn.

she takes a quick look around-- at the crowd and at the decorations that make the week of christmas really real-- then lets her eyelids fall shut as she takes in a calm breath. when she opens her eyes back up, she's ready, and she sways with the music as it plays.

she briefly wonders if woohyun's still nervous, though decides it doesn't matter as she makes sure to meet eyes with him as they start the song off with some humming. she's suddenly glad that she sings first; perhaps she can do well in helping woohyun calm his nerves during her part? she's about to find out.

the reason why i started feeling distant from you at some point in time, is because after i saw you with someone else, the image of you in the embrace of them on a snowy winter night has been left deep within my heart

she keeps her gaze on his own the whole time, not forgetting to smile and nod at him to silently tell him it's okay-- that they're back at the practice room again, goofing off during breaks before getting serious during their singing.

when it's his turn, everything mijoo had been worried about washes away in an instant; he sings beautifully, without a hint of nervousness in his voice, and she can't help the bright smile that finds her lips. she quickly presses them together though, making sure she doesn't grin too toothily and ruin the overall feel of their performance, before bringing her mic back up to join woohyun and create their harmony that they had been slaving over for weeks.

please wait a little for me because being able to love again is still too overwhelming for me please think of me-- of the days we spent together since sometime last winter-- until tears fall from the longing

they exchange light adlibs during the instrumental break, and mijoo's back to keeping her eyes on woohyun again as they do so. she builds her adlibs from his own as he does the same, and she sways lightly to the rhythm before preparing to go back in.

i wonder for how long i must go on forgetting you i wonder if you're already living your life while having forgotten me the snow is falling again right now, but i get no words from you when i'm thinking about you again because i want to see you

she wonders if the song's lyrics are a little too melancholy to fit in with spirit of christmas, but then thinks the instrumental is festive enough. it's not a slow ballad, thankfully, and when she catches some of the audience members swaying along with her and woohyun, she's not so worried about it anymore.

the chorus comes again, and she gives woohyun a knowing look as they sing together: "please wait a little for me; if you can wait until i'm able to understand, it's not such a long time~ please think of me-- of the image of me standing alone in the snow-- until tears fall from the longing~"

and then they're there, the part they had been nervous about the most, though they had practiced it extra hard as much as they were worried. she follows woohyun's lead of starting the series of adlibs, bouncing back and forth before finally hitting it together-- the high note-- then trills down in time with each other like they had practiced many, many times.

she's able to break off from the final note of their hard work with a bright smile, adrenaline rushing through her every being as she bounces and sways along to the music with woohyun next to her. the success of their high note as well as their vocal runs gives her even more confidence to go back and forth with each other with more adlibs, and she's so relaxed throughout the rest of the song.

as the music fades, her eyes are on woohyun the whole time before she finally tears them away to look at the crowd, and she bows deeply. when she comes back up, her signature gummy smile sits comfortably on her features as she waves with both hands, mouthing thank you to everyone.

it’s exciting, the prospect of performing in a group where no one else is from sphere. she’s spent so much of the past two years with sphere trainees, has performed so many times with the same people. she and luna, especially, have been performing together since even before the mgas, way back when they did the occasional street performance together. she’s always appreciated the comfort of knowing her stage partners, of knowing their strengths and weaknesses and bearing in mind that they have her back. 

after so many practice sessions, she feels she can put that same kind of trust in her evaluation partners this time. even though they’d never worked together before, and she only knew jiwon through some old mutual friend and had never actually performed with her, after spending time with them this month she came to trust them with her evaluation and her performance. 

so when performance time comes, she isn’t nervous. she turns to her partners and just grins widely before they step on stage, all bowing before they introduce themselves and announce what they’ll be singing. 

once formalities are out of the way, the lights shift, and when jinri opens her eyes, all she can see is the spotlight shining on her and the others. 

the song begins with a soft harmony, and jinri looks up the line they’re standing in, making eye contact with the rest of the group as they harmonize. she doesn’t have the first lyrics, so when they start jinri focuses on her part, since when she doesn’t have the melody it can be hard to remember what she’s supposed to be doing. she keeps her ears open, though, listening to jimin’s harmony as jiwon sings and matching herself to him.

soon enough she’s singing, and the song consumes her. it takes all of her focus, and when her eyes aren’t closed she’s either looking up the line at the others or staring straight out into the light, where she’s completely forgotten about the audience sitting there watching them, the light blinding her to it. 

even after almost a month of hearing and singing them all the time, the lyrics still inspire the same reaction in jinri’s chest: a joyful lift in her heart as she imagines a warm light surrounding it. having been raised christian, this is her savior she’s singing about, and as she stares into the spotlight she’s glad once again that the group chose a hymn rather than a pop song. because as much as she loves mariah carey, she takes pride in performing a song from her religion at any time, and is happy that it gets to happen for an evaluation. it makes this seem less like an evaluation and more just like she’s worshiping with her old church choir, the one she was in before she signed her contract. 

the dynamics of the song course through her and into her voice so smoothly that she hardly realizes it’s her singing. as one, their voices crescendo, then fall, then rise again into the climax of the song. 

that sleeping child you’re holding....

jinri feels two parts of her life merge briefly as she stands there and belts her heart out. her religion, which she’s always kept carefully separate from the publicity surrounding her life at sphere, mixes with her training and evaluation, making her feel lighter than air. 

after several phrases of loud, clear repetitions -- mary did you know, mary did you know -- they all drop off, their voices quieting in an instant until they’re only just audible in the otherwise silent room. but even with the low volume, their harmonization never wavers as they sing the final line.

mary, did you know?

jinri holds the microphone to her lips for a moment longer, finally lowering it and blinking herself out of the trance of the performance when the lights go up. 

she’s biased when she says that their performance would be a stunning one -- or maybe she’s biased when she says that the two performances she’d be a part of would be the best one the others will be pleased to see. even when singing has been this aspect of her trainee career that she still needs to work hardest on, she’s excited and proud of how long she’s come since then.

they’re all a vision as they step in front of everyone in their white outfits; each of them bringing a different sort of charm that will bring out the charismatic allure of the song. their youthful disposition already brings an edge to their performance. a something that cannot be found in anyone else’s.

you’ll probably remember what day it is, a year has passed since we first met if there’s something different now, it’s probably the size of our love

singing about love and christmas simultaneously leaves a soft flutter of feelings on her heart even when she’s got no one to sing these songs for. it’s just a reminder of how love is what binds and puts christmas as the most heartwarming holiday there ever is and it’s a piece of knowledge that she can never forget.

she sways to the beat of the music, smiles warmly as she listens to rest of her team sing their own respective parts. their energy is reminiscent to the lightness and wholesomeness of the song and it shows on the way her smile never seems to falter the entire time. 

now listen to me, only look at me now