How to Bite Your Neighbor and Win a Wager by D.N. Bryn

Rating: 7/10

Plot: Starving, broke-ass vampire, Vincent Barnes, can’t afford black market blood, and stays alive by breaking into houses to feed on sleeping humans. One such house belongs to an old childhood acquaintance, Wesley Garcia. His blood tastes nice. They’re both kinda into each other. Human Wesley suspects his parents were murdered by the big, evil pharmaceutical company in town, but can’t prove it. He gets a job working for the company to get access to records to expose them. The company will only allow him access to the records if he brings them a vampire to experiment on to prove he’s really in step with their mission and has what it takes. Conveniently, Wesley knows a vampire and decides to lie to Vincent to lure him into the lab so he can discover the truth about his family, but keeping up the lie gets harder and harder the more they fall for each other.

Story Quality: This book sets the scene for the rest of the books in the series. All books in the “Advice for Dating Vampires” series take place in the same city of San Salud, and every couple’s story takes place around the same time with most of them trying to take down the same Pharmaceutical company, Vitalis-Barron. I really like the same story/different perspectives the series pulls together, and I think it does it well. The first book in the series is a good introduction to the world. I think the plot is a little predictable at times, but doesn’t leave the story any less enjoyable. Vincent Barnes is delightful as an anxiety-riddled reluctant vampire, and Wesley Garcia the human makes stupid choices, but you kinda understand why he makes them. Probably would have been easier for him long-run if he didn’t decide to lie to his vampire partner, but then there wouldn’t be a central conflict. The antagonists in Vitalis-Barron are despicable and well-written. You hate them for all the right reasons.  I think some of the later books in the series are better, but this is a very good introduction to the world and overarching plot.

Spicy Bits: These books follow a formula of 1-2 explicit sex scenes per book with a lot of slow burn and lead up. I’d rate the spice level a 4 out of 5. It’s not in most of the book, but it’s there. They’re good though. Fun to read  if you’re into it, easy to skip if you aren’t. Bite kinks, horny pining, that kind of thing.

Homophobia: This series is pretty good about not having queer relationships depicted as a taboo thing. There’s conflict in this book, but it has nothing to do with the characters being in same-sex relationships.

Other Representation: As with all the books I’ve read from D.N. Bryn so far, characters are believable handled with respect. Wesley Garcia has a Latinx background, and struggles with depression and grief. 

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How to Sell your Blood and Fall in Love by D.N. Bryn

Rating: 9/10

Plot: Justin Yu is a bad-boy vigilante human that’s fiercely protective of his neighborhood and community of vampires that raised him. Clementine Hughes is a doctor at Vitalis-Barron and newborn vampire turned against his will. He’s desperate for blood, but refuses to drink from humans. Eventually, his thirst forces him to hunt in the streets, and his first bite attempt against Justin is botched so badly, instead of beating the shit out of Clementine like he usually would, Justin takes pity on him and offers to let Clementine buy his blood for an exorbitant fee. Clementine, not feeling like he has much of a choice, accepts, and pours every dime he has into paying Justin for his blood, and Justin uses the money to help his community.

One of Clementine’s coworkers catches onto the fact that he’s now a vampire, and extorts him. Clementine has to bring information about vampires in the city to him, or else he’ll be ratted out and sent to the lab to be experimented on like the other vampires. Justin grows fond of Clementine, but his community always comes first, and if he ever finds out Clementine is working for Vitalis-Barron, he’ll put an end to everything, their agreement, their friendship, and Clementine’s life if he decides he has to. 

Story Quality: I really liked this one. The characters are all so fleshed out and fun, and you really get a good peek under the hood, even with characters that aren’t the main couple. Clementine is a fanfiction-writing nerd. Justin Yu collects salt and pepper shakers. You feel bad for both leads and their situations, and the decisions they make don’t leave you screaming at the page, even if they are, at times, unfortunate ones.You get a deeper look into the world beyond the first book, and an inside perspective at Vitalis-Barron. I wasn’t bored with it for one minute. 

Spicy Bits: 4 out of 5 again. As with the other books in this series, only a couple sex scenes, but they’re good, and lovingly-handled. Clementine navigates his first sexual encounter carefully with Justin’s chronic back pain, resulting in a lot of communication and courtesy. 

Homophobia: The only place where this is really an issue is with Clementine’s family. He comes from a well-off family of snobs that look down on him for many reasons besides his sexuality. Outside of that, it’s not really a problem. 

Other Representation: Justin Yu is Filipino, and struggles with chronic back pain. He does not recover from or become cured of his disability, and it adds to the rich tapestry of his character. Clementine is depicted as autistic and demisexual. Justin’s blood tastes bland and unappealing until he gets to know and trust him, which I thought was a nice way to symbolize his attraction and him discovering his sexuality and learning how to put it into words. There are many queer side characters in the vampire neighborhood Justin protects that you get to know throughout the book. 

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How to Bare Your Neck and Save a Wreck by D.N. Bryn

Rating: 8/10

Plot: Shane Crowley is an aspiring journalist looking to uncover the city’s black-market blood trade, and Andres is a vampire helping to run it. The two meet at a masked ball, and Shane instantly falls for the mysterious masked vampire, and hopes his journalistic pursuit will allow their paths to cross again. Andres falls for him too, but when the pair meet in a bar later, he cowers from confessing his feelings and telling him they’d met before. He doesn’t believe Shane would love him as he really is, and that he has to keep up the masked stranger persona to keep his affections. Shane’s investigations lead him right into the belly of the beast, and he gets captured by Andre’s boss, a greedy and corrupt crime lord, and the only way Andres can rescue him is to buy him off his boss to use as a blood slave, to which he agrees. Donning his masked-stranger persona, he collars Shane and feeds from him. They’re both pretty into it, but feel guilty about it. Shane speaks to Andres as a trusted friend and confidant, and to his masked owner as his mysterious lover and keeper, not realizing they’re the same vampire, but wishing they could be. Andres wants to help Shane uncover the corrupt blood trade problem, but risks losing his life if his boss catches him doing so. 

Story Quality: A merry-go-round of alter-egos and roleplay, fear and pleasure. Adds a satisfying third helping to the overarching story of the San Salud vampires, but definitely focuses more on the couple themselves than the other books do. Not a bad thing, it’s still a very good read, but you don’t hear from many other characters until the very end. Shane’s ambitions as a journalist lead to the exposure of Vitalis-Barron and the beginning of its downfall, which after three books is so so nice to watch. 

Spicy Bits: This book is a little spicier than the others just because the story is focused on the couple, and kink and roleplay is such a prominent theme in their relationship. Only a couple sex scenes like before, but the overarching vibe is heavy with desire and sexual exploration.

Homophobia: Arguably non-existent. The characters in this story have many different kinds of relationships, and all are portrayed respectfully and acceptable. 

Other Representation: Some good variety in this book. Shane is a transgender man with type 1 diabetes, which leads to some fun/not so fun predicaments with his blood in a vampire context. Andres is non-binary (he/they pronouns), and experiments with gender-fluidity in his presentation throughout the book. The book depicts a handful of varying relationship styles; consensual owner-slave roleplay, polyamory, bdsm, kink, etc.  

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A Rival Most Vial: Potioneering for Love and Profit by R.K. Ashwick

Rating: 6/10

Plot: Ambrose Beake, an elven potionmaster, is the most prestigious potion-crafter in the village, and none dare compete with him until Eli, a spunky young novice human, opens his potion shop right across the street. Ambrose is resentful and cold towards Eli, and the two quickly escalate into competitive pricing, salespitching, and product selection. The two prove to be well-matched rivals, but their competition is driving both of their businesses into the red. 

One day, they receive a summons from the mayor, who wishes to commission one of them to create a potion for his dragon-loving daughter’s birthday that will temporarily turn her into a dragon.The two both make their cases as talented potion-crafters and end up both accepting the request as a joint-commission. 

The assignment pushes the two of them to the very limit of their abilities, but neither yields, and over time, the two find there’s more than just potions brewing between them. 

Story Quality: Lighthearted and comedic. It’s a fun fantasy romance with witty lines and funny situations. It’s not a very deep plot, but there’s a lot to see. Ambrose is temperamental with a complex from never being good enough for his family or his mentor. Eli is charming and kindhearted, but tends to get in over his head a lot. A rich community of fantasy characters live in the village, with playful dynamics between friends and family, and the frustrating need to keep up appearances. A story centered around problem-solving and compromise, with just a bit of adventure to keep things interesting. 

Spicy Bits: This story is very tame. There’s an implied off-screen sexual encounter between the main characters, but nothing is described or explicitly written. 

Homophobia: None. What homophobia? It’s a fantasy world. 

Other Representation: A rich tapestry of romantic preferences and pronouns among the cast, all treated with respect and taste.

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Sword Crossed by Freya Marske

Rating: 7/10

Plot: Mattinesh Jay, heir to the rich and prominent family of textile traders struggling with their finances, has been committed to an arranged political marriage to help bring extra wealth into the family. Mattinesh, repulsed by the idea of being forced into an arranged marriage, seeks out a best man for the wedding to duel on his behalf in the sword-challening ceremony, which if he wins, would nullify the marriage and free him. To assure his success, he needs to be able to afford the best swordsman in the land on his meager budget. He does not get that. What he gets is Luca Pierre, a swordsman and con artist with a bounty on his head that intends to swindle him out of his money by agreeing to take the job, but ends up becoming blackmailed into giving him sword lessons instead.

The two grow close, very close, but their secrets and storied pasts keep the intrigue and pressure growing until everything is at stake; Mattinesh’s reputation, wealth, and legacy, and Luca’s very life. 

Story Quality: Took a little bit to get into, but once the story got rolling, was a very entertaining and nail-biting read. Full of blackmail, intrigue, and secrets from the past. Every chapter you read peels away a layer to the mystery, but leaves more questions in its place that keep you invested to learn more. Luca Pierre is a fun roguish bastard character, but he’s very likeable. Mattinesh has a good heart, but hasn’t quite committed to putting the needs of his family over his own desires. It takes him a journey throughout the book to mature into his role as heir without compromising his desires, and a very fortunate loophole allows him to do just that.

Spicy Bits: There’s a few steamy passages. It’s not the central focus of the story, but the two definitely indulge their desire for one another’s bodies. Lots of shirtless swordplay. Lots. 

Homophobia: It’s not explicitly frowned upon. The Jay family seems to care more about whether or not Mattinesh’s potential spouse is wealthy over their gender. Classist, yes, but not homophobic. 

Other Representation: Nothing specific about race, gender, disability, or any of that sort of thing are mentioned. You can pretty much headcanon the characters however you like. I think Mattinesh is described as having dark skin at some point? That’s kinda it. 

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Bright Spring (Harmony of Seasons: Book One) by Emmaline Strange

Rating: 7/10

Plot: Prince Alexios, another victim of royal arranged marriage, discovers an enchanting young pink-haired man while out walking in the forest. He discovers this fantastical man’s name is Auro, and he’s the god of spring himself, allowed to walk the earth only during one season out of the year, after which, he’s cursed to return to the temple and will turn to stone until spring comes again. Such is the curse on him and his three brothers, the respective gods of Summer, Fall, and Winter. Auro’s  powers include rapidly growing plants, healing, and bringing life into the world around him, but he’s terribly shy and seems to carry a past regret he won’t speak of. Alexios is immediately smitten with him, and invites him back to the palace with him. The two grow close, and when an assassination attempt on Alexios’s life shakes up the palace, Auro decides he’s had enough of hiding from the world of mortals, and that Alexios is too precious to him. The two work together to break the curse on Auro’s family, and loophole around Alexios’s unwanted arranged marriage.

Story Quality: The plot is more interesting than it sounds. There’s love, secrets, and an evil wizard. Lots of pining. It takes awhile for the plot to really kick off, but once it does, it hits.

Spicy Bits: Nothing explicit happens until a little later in the book. Despite being an immortal god of Spring, Auro has never entangled with anyone else, and once he gets his first taste of it, he wants more, and he gets more. It’s a “first love, strong romance” type of story. Very suited to the themes of Spring. 

Homophobia: It’s not really a factor. Alexios is a prince, so he’s obviously expected to be able to produce an heir, but there’s no hostility. Rumors circulate that Alexios and Auro are having a fling because the two aren’t subtle that they like one another, Alexios’s fiance doesn’t appear to really like him at first, but it’s for reasons unrelated to his sexuality.

Other Rep: Too ambiguous to say?

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Dauntless Summer (Harmony of Seasons: Book Two) by Emmaline Strange

Rating: 8/10

Plot: This book centers on Leofric, Alexios’s personal guard from the previous book. When Auro fails to return to his statue form, his brother, Cosmo, the god of Summer, awakens. He’s brought up to speed on everything that’s happened since Auro’s awakening, and that the only way for the four brothers to break their curse is to find and return their counterpart brother’s essence to them. They are unable to break their own curse, and the cooperation of all four brothers is required. Auro has no problem assisting his brother, Cedras, god of Autumn, because their relationship was fine, but Cosmo and his brother Cryros, god of Winter, aren’t on good terms, putting it mildly, and Cosmo isn’t as keen to reunite with him as Auro is. After some convincing, Cosmo reluctantly agrees to help. Alexios and Auro have duties in the kingdom, but assign Cosmo and Leofric to go search for Cryos’s essence, and the two venture deep into the mountains together. At first, Leofric finds Cosmo insufferable; always unserious, pleasure-seeking, and carefree, and Cosmo doesn’t care much for Leofric either, finding him to be a no-nonsense, stick in the mud, but as the two learn more about one another and are forced to cooperate, they find they don’t mind one another’s company after all; that they enjoy it even. This is an enemies-to-lovers type story where the protagonists learn patience, compromise, and balance. Story Quality: I thought this story was easier to get into than the first one. The pacing was a little better, and Leofric is a much more interesting POV than Alexios. I felt more invested in his backstory, and watching Cosmo’s change of heart and priorities was satisfying. 

Spicy Bits: This book is raunchier than its predecessor, with one of Cosmo’s introductory scenes being Leofric finding him participating in a voyeuristic three-person orgy. Cosmo is very shameless with his flirting and desire, and once he and Leofric become involved, the two get it on in the mountains a lot, but I wouldn’t say the sex scenes take up more of the book than makes sense.

Homophobia: Leofric describes a bit of trouble in his past, not being able to pursue the true callings of his heart. His current wife and child were at one point his deceased brother’s, and he agreed to marry her and provide for them out of concern for them, but at the cost of his own romantic freedom. So no “homophobia”, but a little bit of self-sacrifice and denial, which I feel works because Cosmo has the opposite problem and doesn’t consider the feelings of others enough at first. 

Other Representation: Again, too ambiguous to tell. 

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Last Courtesan of Olympus by Amanda Meuwissen

Rating: 6/10

Plot: Aikos, a promising acolyte of Aphrodite, the goddess of love and desire, is just about to complete his training and be assigned to a temple, but during the ceremony, is snatched away to Olympus, by Zeus, as happens a lot in stories involving Zeus. Zeus relays to Aikos that he’s seen his talents, and wishes him to live as a chosen immortal in Olympus as a courtesan to a God of his Choice, and he’ll make that choice by bringing pleasure and satisfaction to every god in the pantheon. (Zeus informs Aikos that he knows he prefers men, and only has to fuck the gods, not the goddesses, that’s fine. He’s not a monster.) So Aikos does so, and each god he meets has some sort of problem/emotional hangup/etc that Aikos helps them navigate to fully bring them satisfaction on all levels; physical, emotional, spiritual, etc. Hephaestus has body image issues because of his disability, Apollo is haunted by past mistakes and worries people hate him, Dionysus drowns out his problems with overindulgence, Poseidon has anger issues, etc. Aikos’s work as a courtesan has him serve not only as a bringer of pleasure, but also serving as a kind of therapist for the immortals of Olympus, which was kinda funny, but also kinda interesting. Zeus has him make his choice at the end of it all, and Aikos chooses to be courtesan to ALL the gods, because of course he does, and he ascends to godhood and becomes the god of courtesans. He also chooses to bring his lover on Earth up to Olympus to be with him.

Story Quality: The idea itself is very basic; chosen Earthling is passed around to all the Olympian gods, and they fuck. To its credit, each god’s story and nature of the encounter were all very different, and the author explored different kinds of relationships and lovemaking, so it wasn’t like reading the same sex scene over and over, it was written well, and different every time, but when it came down to it, this book was pretty much just different sex scenes. Perfect if that’s what you’re looking for, but if you’re hungry for more of a plot, you won’t find it here. What you get is what you read on the tin, so to speak.

Spicy Bits: This book is all spicy bits. From start to finish. This is the most sex-heavy book I read out of all of them. 

Homophobia: No time for that, it’s Ancient Greece, and there’s fucking to be done.