#riverdale reader request

Y/N POV

This week had been rough between all the Serpent stuff Sweet Pea had been doing and not to mention not seeing Toni due to her quitting and making her own gang a few weeks ago. It felt like everything was slowly tumbling down ever since that day. You watched Toni walking down the hallway with her new girl gang all the thoughts coming back.

*Flashback*

“I want you to join”

“You want me to what Toni!”

“Join my gang Y/N”

“No Toni, Not a chance”

“But why not we could run the gang together”

“Did you forget I’m the Serpent Queen for the time being. The serpents are my family, Jughead, Sweet Pea, Fangs. They are your family too how could you just leave”

“You shouldn’t be the queen Y/N”

“What are you talking about”

“The serpents are not a family anymore I have been in the serpents longer I deserve to be queen”

“What are you even talking about Toni?”

“Doesn’t matter look if you want to join you can, but other than that I’m out of the Serpents, I’m done”

“Wait what can I do to make you stay?”

“Make me queen”

“I, I can’t that isn’t how it works and you know it”

“Well then I’m out, bye Y/N” you were shocked not able to stop her before she had turned and walked out.

*End Flashback*

“Baby girl, Y/N… Babe!” Sweet Pea broke you out of your thoughts.

“What? Sorry what’s up Pea”

“Baby are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m good”

“Alright, hey I wanted to tell you I won’t be at the trailer till later tonight”

“Oh? Everything alright?”

“Yeah, of course, Fangs and I are hanging out at Pops you can come if you want I just know you told me you had that paper to write”

“Yeah I do, I’ll just see you when you come home okay?”

“Yeah I love you”

“Love you too Pea” You hung around the library finishing the little bit of work you had to do there and then you went to the trailer to finish the rest. Your thoughts kept racing with all the things that you could have done differently before Toni left, The things that you could have done to make her stay. A few hours after getting back you finished up the homework you had. You decided to make dinner for Pea in case they had left pops early. There were a lot of times they would end up at the quarry after pops and would entirely forget to actually get food. You heard rustling outside and opened the door to see Fangs and your boyfriend with cuts all over their faces.

“Omg what happened to you two”

“The Pretty Poisons happened”

“The pretty who now?”

“Toni’s new gang”  

“They beat you up… why?”

“According to Cheryl, they wanted to send a message. I called Jones apparently he tried getting Toni to rejoin but she wouldn’t unless something happened”

“So they beat you up for basically no reason “

“Yep”

‘Alright well get in here Sweets, Fangs you too I wanna clean you up before you go home”

“You don’t have to I can clean up myself when I get back”

“There’s food on the stove”

“You had me at food Y/N”

“Thanks for cooking babe”

“No problem” You cleaned Fangs up while he was eating so after he was done he left. It was now just you and Pea. You were cleaning the cuts but you felt so bad.

“I’m so sorry babe this is all my fault”

“Y/N this is not your fault”

“It is though”

“No, it’s not now drop it there baby”

“Okay you're right” He wasn’t though, it was your fault. It was your fault Toni left.

“Hey babe”

“Yeah Pea?”

“We’re going to the Wyrm tomorrow night to hang since we haven't in a little while you wanna come?”

“Yeah of course”

*Time Jump to the Wyrm*

All day the only thoughts racing through your mind were of Toni and how much she had changed. Having her girls beat up the boys to prove a point it wasn’t like her.

Jughead walked towards where you and Pea were standing.

“How you feeling Sweet Pea?”

“Just a few scratches, you talk to Toni?”

“Yeah, she had no idea it happened” Fangs walked up at that point.

“So what she didn’t know what Cheryl did?”

“Nope not a clue”

“Damn”

“That’s crazy though I thought it was ‘her’ gang”

“I don’t know Y/N”

“I guess it’s whatever Jug”

“You know what’s weird?”

“What Fangs?”

“I mean I know Toni left us, but I kinda miss her I mean being here at the Wyrm and having her not be behind the bar or hanging out with us is so odd” He was right and you knew it. The fact that you haven’t hung out with Toni in weeks finally caught up to you. You had lost one of the only girlfriends that even existed in your life. You also pushed her out of everyone else’s all because you wouldn’t let her take your place. The anxiety welled up inside you pushing to nausea you got out of Pea’s grip and ran to the bathroom. He came following behind you and held your hair back.

“Baby what’s wrong?”

“Did you eat before you drank?” You nodded as you kept throwing up. “I- I ate”

“Okay maybe the food was bad”

“Yeah, yeah must have been” You leaned your head back into his knee before he helped you stand up.

“Let’s get you home” you walked out of the bathroom hand in hand with Sweet Pea

“Hey you good Y/N”

“Yeah Fangs I’m good just ate something weird I guess”

“We’ll catch you guys later we’re going to go home” He walked you out the door of the Wyrm opening the door for you to get into his truck.

“Baby you don’t have to leave, you were having a good time. I can get home by myself”

“I want to take you home, I’m fine I had enough fun”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive baby” You felt bad. Just like you ruined the group's friendships with Toni you had ruined the fun time that Sweet Pea was having.

*Monday*

You walked into school Monday hoping it would be a normal day, but apparently, Jughead had decided that we needed more Serpents, so he recruited the gargoyles. You didn’t want him to, but what the King says has the rule over you, and honestly even if you did disagree he most likely would have listened. But you were not in the mood to argue and you were not in the mood to fight about anything. You were afraid of them to admit it. You had spied on them, they would have known it was you if Fangs hadn’t covered. The day was going by pretty smoothly with only a few arguments breaking out. You were standing against your locker as you watched Sweet Pea as he walked towards you. He grabbed your hand leading you down the hallway.

“Where we going?”

“Jug called an impromptu meeting”

“Don’t we have a meeting tonight?”

“Yeah but that is Serpent stuff this is something about a kid Red found”

“A kid?”

“Yeah apparently no one knows who he is so I think he is gonna ask everyone to look into it”

“Are you coming to the meeting tonight?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna meet you there like I said I have some homework to do” You walked into the classroom standing in front of Sweet Pea as he sat on the desk.

“Pea where’s Fangs he never misses a meeting?”

“I don’t know babe. Maybe he didn’t get the memo he could be with Kevin”

“True”

“Don’t worry about it we can always fill him in later” Jug had started the meeting but it wasn’t long before you watched Toni burst through the door.

“Jughead you need to come now Kurtz is going to kill Fangs!” You bolted out of your position following Jughead out the door. You ran into the hallway and looked up to where Fangs was shouting from. Kurtz had him hanging over the top of the steps.

“Sweet Pea, Y/N, Jughead. Help me!”

“Kurtz let him down” Kurtz wasn’t paying attention he was talking directly to Fangs.

“You scared you dirty Serpent Spy. You're about to ascend. You’ll fly to” Your thoughts began racing. It should be you it shouldn't be him none of this was his fault. He shouldn’t have to die for something stupid that you did. You almost got caught and he took your place posing as the spy so you wouldn’t get caught and now he was about to die. It should be you. Before you could process what was happening you saw Kurtz let Fangs go. Sweet pea pushed you out of the way and he and Jughead slid under Fang’s falling body breaking his fall before he could hit the floor. You ran over to all of them hugging them. None of them were badly hurt they were all just a little sore. But you knew it was your fault everything was your fault.

You felt the anxiety building again, the anger, the guilt, everything you ran out of the school. It was the end of the day anyway. You ran to the quarry the one place you knew you could be alone or so you thought. Upon arriving you saw a bunch of new Serpent initiates sitting around a fire, so you ran back to your trailer instead. You ran in grabbing a piece of paper writing I love you on it and you stuck it to the front door so Sweet Pea would know that you would love him forever. You slumped against the bathroom wall trying to get your thoughts and nausea to go away but nothing was working.

It was you who almost got Fangs killed not once but twice, Fangs protected you twice once from getting shot and once from falling from a staircase.  It was you who made Toni drop you as a friend, it was you who made her leave the serpents, it was you who made her drop everyone, it was you who made her leave everything behind. Everything… It was all you, it was all your fault… all of it. It would be better if you weren’t here, better if no one had to deal with you. Everything went bad when it had to deal with you, if no one had to deal with you everyone would be happy and everything would be okay… it would all be okay if you just left.

You stood up grabbing the pill bottle from the cabinet pouring them out into your hand. You looked down at them before putting them into your mouth and swallowing with the water from the sink. You grabbed another couple swallowing them as well. You had to do it, you had to. You needed to do this for you, for your friends, your family. They deserved better than what you always brought to them, they all deserved better. You sat there back against the wall, watching the pills in your hand. You needed to leave them, needed to make it easier for them.

Sweet Pea’s POV

“Guys where is Y/N she should be here by now, have any of you talked to her?”

“Not me”

“Nope haven't seen her since this afternoon when she ran out of school”

“Yeah, she had homework to do, but don’t you guys think it was weird that she would run out? I mean she texted me saying she was doing the work… but I don’t know”

“I mean there still twenty till the meeting”

“True” I sat there leg bouncing up and down. I waited for her to come, waited and waited but she still hadn’t gotten to the Wyrm yet.

“This isn’t right” I called her phone but it had no answer. “She didn’t answer her phone guys”

“Maybe it’s off or on silent”

“No it’s our one rule we don’t do that, I need to go” I ran to my truck peeling out of the parking lot. I felt it deep down, I felt something was wrong. I hopped out of the truck as soon as I pulled in. The note on the door I love you. Something wasn’t right and I knew for sure now that I saw that note. I burst into the trailer but I didn’t see her. I saw the light under the bathroom door and tried opening it. But it was locked. I kicked it I didn’t care. I saw Y/N sitting on the floor about to put pills into her mouth. I smacked the pills away. She picked the bottle up trying to put more into her mouth.

“Y/N stop! "What the hell is this?" I kept trying to get the pills away but her grip was tight.

“No, Sweet Pea stop! I need to. Leave me the hell alone!" She screams, struggling to free from my grip

"Baby, you can't do this, please. How many did you take? Come here!” I grabbed her not caring I shoved her over the toilet sticking my fingers into her mouth to make her gag. I was lucky she began throwing up I could see the pills land into the toilet. She kept throwing up. She finally stopped. I grabbed her bringing into my chest.

“Y/N why! Why do that! Why!”

“I don’t want to be here. I want it to be easier for everyone! I make everything worse!”

“What, what are you talking about?”

“Me Pea, everything is worse when I’m around”

“No everything is so much better”

“Stop lying!”

“I’m not baby why do you think everything is worse”

Y/N POV

“So many things. Like… Toni left because of me “

“No baby”

“Yes, Pea she wanted to be queen, she wanted to make the Serpents better, and I wouldn’t let her take my place”

“Even if you let her it wouldn’t have happened Y/N that isn’t the law it isn’t possible for her to be queen”

“But…”

“No”

“Fine, then there are other things too. I let Fangs almost get killed. Not once! Twice Pea, Twice!”

“Baby that isn…”

“Yes, it is Sweet Pea. He stepped in front of me when that gunshot rang out, and he got shot almost dying. He covered for me with the gargoyles leading to him getting held over that fucking balcony and almost dying. He has almost died twice and both times were my fault!”

“ Listen to me Y/N! Listen to me! Nothing is your fault, none of it is your fault. Toni left, she chose to leave. She couldn’t take your place that is now how the law works. Fangs cares about you he stepped in front of you, yes but you would have done the same for him. He went after you with the gargoyles but what you didn’t know was that he was undercover too. No one knew because he was undercover until a few weeks ago when Jug started stuff to get the Gargoyles to join. Kurtz found out that is why he held him over the balcony not because of you. You don’t bring negativity Y/N you bring beauty, and happiness, and good times. Baby girl if you left this world I wouldn’t be able to handle it, and everyone would miss you so fucking much do you know that. Do you know how much you would be missed? Do you want to die?”

“I wanted to make it better for you, I want to live I want to be here with you forever”

“Good because baby I can’t lose you and without you, it wouldn’t be better it would be so much worse”

“I love you Sweet Pea”

“I love you too baby girl now let’s get you dressed and into bed because I need to hold you right now”

“Why?”

“I could have lost you tonight, even thinking about that scares the shit out of me. It may be cheesy but I don’t care. I want to hold you, To know that you are here with me. You scared me shitless when I opened that door and saw you with those pills. Baby promise me, Promise me that if you feel this way ever again even for a second that you will talk to me or at least hint at it to me because Y/N if I lost you…” You saw a tear drop down onto his cheek.

“Pea… stop, stop thinking about it, baby. I never wanted to leave you. I never want to leave you. I want you forever. I’m sorry I scared you, I am so fucking sorry but I am here. I am here and I will always be here. We are forever Pea I promise you that. I fucking promise that I won’t leave you. I promise you because truly I don’t know if I could handle it myself. I love you too much to even think about leaving you” He smiled down at you taking your cheek into his hand and pressing a light kiss to your lips.

“What do you say we go cuddle?”

“I say yes, I will always say yes Pea… Always” He led you to the bed slipping off his jeans and sliding in beside you.

“I’m sorry Pea If you didn’t come… “

“Stop baby, don’t think about that. We will get through this together okay, no more apologizing, none of this is your fault, none of it okay?”