#rivapet

Petra swats his bare chest softly before cuddling back in, her forehead nuzzled against his ribs.

“You’re too hard on yourself, captain,” she lightly scolds.“Your birthday is on the 25th, yes?”

He raises a brow but still nods, and Petra beams.

“Why don’t you celebrate your birthday with us?” she invites. “Mom makes great tea and dad’s been asking about you.”

“Think that time would be better off being spent with family than with your superior, brat,” he says. “You don’t wanna waste your time off for the holidays.”

She reaches up a hand to cup his cheek, “Don’t be ridiculous. You are going to be family soon too, remember? Unless you forgot that you just proposed. Or was that just a way to get on your subordinate’s bed?”

He snorts in amusement as he pinches her butt, “Yep, that was exactly the plan. I’m a scheming asshole.”

She gives him a mock glare, and another swat on his bicep.

“Fine,” Levi acquiesces as he looks at her pouting face. “If your dad kills me, you’re the one explaining to Erwin.”

Petra smiles, and in no time, she starts rattling off ideas on how to make the most out of Levi’s first visit back home. She’d detailed all the food she’d help prepare when they get to ride to her home, along with all the sights Karanese has to offer.

It’s still months away, and they have the upcoming 57th expedition to focus on. Still, it had been a nice change of pace to discuss plans with Petra, the domesticity of it all a warm thought in Levi’s mind.

Months later, despite the unfortunate outcome of the 57th expedition, Levi still found himself spending midwinter with the Rals.

Petra had already extended the invite, and the captain received another letter from her father a month before his birthday. Mr. Ral was a nice man—too understanding, in Levi’s opinion. He doesn’t deserve it, but not once did the man blame Levi.

Petra was right when she said her mother was great at making tea, similar to her daughter. The older woman had been hospitable, preparing all the dishes that Petra had detailed in her letter—ones that she knows her captain would love.

She also had three younger brothers—all as adventurous and curious as their sister had been.

They’d shot the captain one question after the other, with one of them being brave enough to tug on his military jacket and another asking him for a lesson on how to wield the ODM.

He doesn’t indulge them in their curiosity. If Levi were the religious type, then he’s praying now that they won’t join the military.

Levi had never spent midwinter festival with a family in so long. The times he had with the Scouts were the closest to what he would consider as one, but he’d never had the privilege of a warm home, of a home-cooked meal, and a room filled with children’s laughter as they open presents the moment the clock strikes 12.

It would’ve been perfect, but Petra’s absence was a heavy ache as he dines with the Rals.

————————————————————————————————

Her face was familiar, like seeing an old childhood friend that he didn’t bother contacting once they’re out of their diapers.

Which was something that he never expected he would say. He wasn’t really the most sociable person around, nor the most approachable. Then again, university is a time when even the most introverted are forced out of their shell. He might’ve seen her in one of the classes he’d sat in as a teaching assistant.

Her ginger hair was up in a haphazard bun, the ones that didn’t make it fall past her shoulders. She was bent over the coffee shop table, heavy eyes going over stacks of papers.

Her tired eyes almost reminds him of the worried lines that graced her face the night before every expedition.

Expedition?

Before he can question himself further at the strange thought, the woman finally looks up and meets his gaze. Her brows twitch in a suspicious frown, and he realizes that he’d been staring for far too much time for him to look like a creep.

He looks away, placing back on the heavy as fuck headphones that his lab partner gave him in their Christmas party last week.

A few minutes passed by when he hears the screech of a chair, and a shadow obscures the textbook he was reading from.

“Are you with someone?” the woman—the same one he was staring at earlier—was right before him, gesturing to the remaining seat in front of him.

“Uh… no.”

She smiles, “Great.”

Then sits on the empty chair.

He frowns, “I don’t remember inviting you over.”

“And I don’t remember allowing you to stare at me like a creep,” she quips, then smirks when a subtle flush passes over his face. “But here we are.”

He doesn’t attempt to answer back. After making her uncomfortable like that, he deserves to squirm in her presence.

“Senior?” she finally speaks up.

He blinks, surprised she’s starting a conversation with him.

“Grad school,” he corrects. “You?”

“Junior.”

“Ah.”

They’re once again plunged into silence, focusing on their respective studies.

He was all too content to ignore her until he finishes his cup. The place was starting to fill in more with sleep-deprived students anyway, and he thinks he can move to the library instead.

That was until he caught sight of an empty packet of black tea in between her planner.

“You like tea?”

She blinks, surprised he’s finally talking to her. She glances at the item that brought on the inquiry and nods.

“I find it helps me with fatigue,” she explains. “I take it you’re also a tea lover?”

He nods. He never knew what made him gravitate to such a preference, just that he always opted for a cup of tea over coffee ever since.

She beams, then takes out a few more empty packets behind the journal. “Me too! I used to be into coffee, but I don’t know why I’ve been into tea recently.”

From there, she started to explain the different variants she ended up loving—the reason why she kept their empty sachets as reference, even offering some brands that he never even considered.

Papers and textbooks forgotten, the two of them spent the whole afternoon chatting. Well, she honestly did most of the talking and he’d been all too pleased to just listen to her voice.

He learns that she’s 20 and he reveals that he’s 27. She’s in the hospitality field with dreams of becoming a flight attendant one day, while he shares that he’s working towards a med degree after he’d lost his mother a few years back.

He also learns that she’s an international student from Paradis, which wasn’t as hard to deduce based on her accent.

She tells him that she’ll be spending the holidays alone, as most of her roommates—all international students like her—were sent back to Paradis.

“They were visiting home for awhile. I delayed my visit to my family until after Christmas,” she explains, frowning. “But then the borders closed. I’m helping them fix their papers with the university.”

He’s not sure what pushed him to say it out loud. Maybe it’s because she looked like a kicked puppy at the thought of being alone for the holidays. She seemed like the type who’d easily get along with anyone, who’d bring light into any conversation.

“You can come over,” he finds himself inviting her.

“Hmm?”

He coughs, cheeks starting to warm. He never even celebrated the Yuletide season. After finals, he’d often opt to sleep away the holidays instead, body and mind too tired for anything else.

“My roommate decorated the damn place and stocked the fridge,” he starts. “Then left me and went back home last minute after his pops told him they’re traveling over the holidays. So… uh, we can watch Christmas movies? Or just whatever you want. I don’t know…”

At this point, he’s sure his face is about to melt off with how heated it feels.

She bites her lip and a giddy smile spreads across her face. Before he knows it, she’s grabbing a pen and scribbling her number down, along with a brief run-through of how her schedule looks like.

“I’d love to,” she says, handing the scrap of paper to him and giggled at his bewildered look. “My name’s Paige, by the way.”

--

Weeks later and she never came.

They were texting almost every single day one moment, then she went radio silent. She told him that she might be flying back to Paradis real quick, but her parents told her to not stay for too long as the situation was getting worser back home.

The stab was quick, and he tells himself it’s for the better. He doesn’t know where he got that thought from—the urge to shield himself from further heartbreak—when he’d invited her with nothing more than friendship and warm company over the holidays in mind.

Still, the silence in his apartment further scalds the pain.

But it was nothing compared to what he saw on the news when he turned on the television later that night.

He watched as Paradisian immigrants and students—even those with the proper papers to stay in Marley—were forced back to their home country.

He already knows about this, it’s something that many governments had insisted on in the past few years. No one truly understood why, and many had chalked it up to generational hate and racism. They targeted the illegal immigrants first, then policies made it harder for international students and overseas workers to seek a life beyond Paradis’ shores.

He was one of the fortunate ones. Though of Eldian descent, his family had already established a life in Marley generations ago. By this point, he’s not entirely sure where his Eldian blood started and ended.

He watched the news as Eldian women, men and children were shipped back as if they were nothing but simple cattle.

Riots, chaos, stampedes in the harbor and airports.

Then, came the bombs.

Paradis, once a thriving island decades after Eren Yeager’s rumbling and the time of the titans.

Reduced to rubble in a single day as retribution.

————————————————————————————————

He knows he shouldn’t approach her. He really fucking shouldn’t. Every time he got involved in their first few lives together, it had never turned out well for him, for her. Especially for her.

But she was right there, beckoning him with molten amber eyes, a come-hither in her gaze. As she usually does every time her boss and his associates take some time to unwind in this establishment.

She’s different in this life. Although she still has that fighting aura surrounding her reminiscent of her very first life, there was something more sinister this time around.

Something broken. Battle-hardened, physically, emotionally, mentally.

Titans were a real bitch to deal with, but humans are a breed of monsters on their own.

Her red-tinted smiles look adorable to the untrained eye, but as this establishment’s bartender, he’d witnessed the many times she’d swindled her way through a deal—often with a pat on the back from the blonde behind her.

The only time she’d ever smiled genuinely was when she’d slide on the stool in the front bar while the bartender wipes down the surface. To him.

He sees her whisper something to her boss and the man nods back down to her. She takes that moment to saunter over.

“What can I get you this time?”

“The bartender would be perfect,” she says, lashes batting, voice ever blunt.

He gives her a long look, before tearing his gaze away when he feels that familiar tug in his chest.

“Wrong order,” he quips. “Menu’s over there.”

Thank fuck the lighting was dim enough to hide the usual blush that her flirtation would often draw from him.

She pouts, before the smile lights back up on her face. The woman stands from the stool when the bartender leans over to wipe a spot left by another customer, and she takes that opportunity to grab his collar.

And he gives in, as he always does.

The kiss was searing, her fingers insistent as she wraps them around the back of his neck. There was something urgent, bordering desperate, in the ways she takes him in, and he was all too ready to melt into her.

Next thing he knows, she’d dragged him again into the usual VIP room they’d find themselves in every week. His pants were discarded first, followed by her tight emerald green dress. He was only able to pop a few buttons of his top before she’d climbed his lap, his moan barely restrained as she speared herself on him in one go.

He watches her from below as she rides him, his palm reaching up to cup her cheek and never tearing his gaze away from her sweat-slicked face. He tries to memorize every soft corner of her skin, every emotion as she chases both of their release.

A couple of lives later, and she’s still as radiant as she’s ever been.

“It’s Christmas Eve,” she says afterwards as she nips on his ear. He wraps his arms around her, their breathes syncing against their bare chests. “Why don’t you go home early instead?”

“Can’t. I still need to—“

“Consider this as undertime payment,” she whispers as she reaches over her bag and leaves a wad of cash on the table. He was about to rebut that shit like that doesn’t exist. Maybe even jest that she’s treating him like her whore. “You said your mom’s waiting for you tonight, right?”

“Your boss’ gonna kill me,” he retorts.

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” she purrs, patting his bare chest. “He’s quite fond of you. I’m sure he would’t mind.”

He hesitates, but nods. It would be nice to have some time off to actually spend with his mother. It was a luxury he even get to spend time with her after he’d lost her so early on in his first life.

“If it’s not too much to ask…” he finds himself saying while he watches her get dressed.

She turns back to him, fingers pausing from zipping up her bodycon dress.

“Yes?”

And it’s there. The same unburdened, eager look she’d get whenever he’d ask for a cup of tea to be brought to his office the very first life around.

It’s her.

He bites his lip, face warm.

“Are you free,” he awkwardly coughs into his fist. “Sometime this holiday season?”

The woman remains silent, watching him in wonder. But if he squints, he can swear melancholy momentarily tinted her gaze.

It was a scary thought—taking that first step to finally get to know her better after months of just fucking. He tells himself every single time that it’s the last time, didn’t even bother learning her name, lest he loses her again.

But she’s physically stronger this time around. More so than some lowly bartender could ever be. She’d laced on guns as if they’re pearls, stabbed men on the back both metaphorically and literally.

Maybe… maybe, this time around, he won’t lose her.

The silence eventually becomes too unbearable.

“You know what? Fuck it,” he finally says. “I get that shooting people’s brains out is a time-consuming job—“

She forces a smirk back on her face as she cuts him off, “I’ll check my schedule.”

—

The next day, the bartender he was supposed to work his shift with was dead.

Along with six other patrons, twelve men and the blonde crime lord that owned the establishment.

It was all over the news—a shootout along Clement St., all culminating in the bar downtown. Something about a misunderstanding (an understatement) between two of the country’s biggest crime bosses.

As the news reported the casualties, he finally learns that her name in this life was Piper.

————————————————————————————————

When Levi received his rank as captain in his current life, a part of him wanted to laugh.

The world is still a cruel place, but it had substantially mellowed compared to the inequality and hatred that ravaged nations centuries ago. There’s no Marley or Paradis or Hizuru anymore.

What’s funnier is that he also goes on expeditions. He’d found Erwin again, the Expedition Leader of the SC Ocean Explorer, and Hange, the Lead Scientist of the same ship.

It feels like a full circle.

But this time around, they’re not killing titans and saving dying comrades. They’re mapping unexplored shores and marine ecosystems of the Pacific Ocean—all while stopping Hange from adopting another damn shark (which is a full-time job in itself. That’s why they have Moblit). He’s not privy to the scientific and discovery part of things as compared to Eyebrows and Four-Eyes, but like his first life, he’d dedicated his career to the well-being of everyone on this ship.

And like in the very first life, he’s still weak to the whims of these two idiots.

“Everyone’s willing, Levi,” Erwin tells him. “It’s a different experience to spend Christmas on the ship. It’s not like we’re forcing anyone.”

“Yeah, except for me,” Levi retorts. “Ever crossed your mind I have plans tonight?”

“But that’s the thing. You don’t have a life, Levi,” Hange pipes up. “So I think we’re all good to go!”

He’s the captain of this ship. Hell, he technically outranks them all, simply because it’s his ship even though Eyebrows’ the one in charge of planning these scientific expeditions. But one eager look from Hange, one nudge from Erwin and of course he’s stupid enough to give in. And on Christmas Eve, no less!

“Also, we have a junior documentations assistant coming aboard,” Hange adds after he finally gave in to push through to their next destination. “Try not to scare her off, Ackerman.”

“Not my fault you and Eyebrows choose crybabies for these expeditions.”

“You’d find she’s far from one,” Hange says. “She was one of my students. Very smart. Sharp tongue too. Oh, and she makes great tea!”

He freezes at what seemed to be a harmless fact, then shakes his head. Nothing but a coincidence, probably.

“Whatever,” Levi brushes Hange off instead. “Just make sure she finds her way around. You keep passing that job to me Four Eyes and I do not want to babysit again.”

All this time, he’d been rest assured that he’s never going to see her again. He noticed that he’d always meet her right before he turned 32—the age when they got together the first lifetime around.

Now that he’s about to turn 40, and not a single sight of Petra Ral in the past decades, he was so sure that he’d be spared the heartbreak at least for one life.

Levi was in the middle of reviewing the map Erwin had plotted down when he was proven so fucking wrong.

“Captain?”

Levi freezes at the familiar voice. He feels his shoulders stiffen, heart going erratic as his fist tightens on the cockpit’s wheel.

He must be dreaming. Yeah, that’s what this is. He’s fucking dreaming. Or maybe having a nightmare. He hasn’t slept more than three hours for five days now.

Because only his mind would fuck him over like this.

“Uhm… excuse me sir?”

She was persistent, soft knocks reverberating again from the door. He hears her whisper to herself that maybe the captain of this ship wasn’t inside, but the light coming from the cockpit was more than enough proof that she was being ignored.

He hears her pause, then start to walk away.

Against his better judgement, Levi found himself wrenching the door of the cockpit open.

“Petra…” he breathes.

The woman turns back, surprise apparent on her features. And if he’s seeing it correctly, a momentary flash of recognition.

Because it really is her.

Adorable ginger bob, petite stature, creamy skin and sweet lilting voice. Only thing different is that she’s not wearing the long-forgotten green capes of their shared past lives, but still donning a uniform similar to Hange’s and Erwin’s.

She was even carrying a tray of tea.

“How did you know my second name?” she asks, head tilting to the side.

Fuck.

“I always check the list of names of all the crew and team,” he smoothly diverts as he composes himself and backs away from the doorframe.

Which was bullshit. He never bothered checking, save for a quick run-through.

“Oh…” she says, then gives him a friendly grin. “Well, Mr. Smith said that I can find the captain of the ship here. He said you’re fond of tea?”

He wants to reach out, caress the stray strand of ginger locks that fell on her face. Kiss her stupid because fuck, he misses her.

Levi feels his mouth go dry, not knowing what else to do but nod.

“That’s great!” she replies. “We’re actually getting together at the deck but Professor Hange told me you’re not really a people person.” Then she extends the tray out to him. He sees that there’s what seems to be peppermint tea, along with some gingerbread cookies. “I made everyone tea. It’s my first day here— Sir, are you okay?”

He feels faint, his hands going clammy the more he looks at her.

“I’m fine,” he brushes off. To prove it, he takes the tray from her with a mumbled ‘thanks’.

She offers him a smile and a ‘it was nice meeting you, sir’ before turning around to go back to the deck.

“Oi, brat,” he decides to call out as he watches her leave, still slightly pale. “What did you say your name was again?”

“Natalie, sir,” she answers, then a thoughtful look crosses her face. “But you can call me Petra, if you’d like. I don’t use it often but it’s my second name.”

—

Later that night, Levi found himself joining them on the deck. He’d entrusted his First Officer to take over at least for the next couple of hours, and the whole crew looked like they were witnessing a ghost haunting the ship as he steps out.

The captain never joins their get-togethers. At least, not willingly.

“Ah, Levi!” Erwin calls out, a genuine grin on the blonde’s face. “Glad you can join us.”

“Is it because of a certain newbie?” Hange teases him as he sits next to the scientist.

“Fuck off.”

But Levi still found his gaze following the new person on board. To Petra—Natalie.

He corrects himself whenever his mind strays to her second name, his last ditch effort to shield himself from falling further. If the universe would be kind in this life, they’d eventually go their separate ways and she’d live her life safe and ‘til she’s gray and cranky.

The last thing he needs is to get attached.

The woman in question was currently chatting with some of his crew—all of them listening intently to whatever story she’s sharing. Even in this life, she has the tendency to bring people together.

In hindsight, Levi should’ve expected that Hange and Erwin had been planning to turn this little get-together into a mini Christmas party. No wonder they’d stocked up on a number of food in their last stop.

The captain thought that it must just be a few Christmas dishes and a few sips of wine… that was until Hange started leading party games.

He watches Erwin give a toast as the clock strikes 12 midnight, as they all welcome Christmas. The SC Ocean Explorer had always been a tight-knit team, and Levi had never felt it more than tonight.

“And to Natalie,” Hange adds in after Erwin’s toast and she raises her own cup. “Welcome on board, ginger! I still remember how you used to be an uptight little student who’d bring her camera everywhere.”

The woman blushes at the attention, her hand gripping on her paper cup, but still smiles gratefully with a quick thank you for the warm welcome.

“Any words from the captain of the ship?” Hange nudges him and he internally groans.

“Uh… thanks for being here,” Levi says as he eyes their expectant gazes—ever straight to the point. “And Merry Christmas, I guess?”

He sees the new girl smile and cheer along with the others, and Levi thinks that maybe he made the right decision to join them on deck this year.

—

“Thanks for joining us tonight, sir,” Petra—Natalie—says later on as he leads her back to her designated room. “And… uh, for showing me the way back. I’m still a bit confused about the layout of the ship.”

It was supposed to be Hange’s responsibility to do so since this new recruit was under her team, but the scientist had already passed out after six bottles of ‘Christmas merrymaking’.

Levi gives her a wave as if to tell her it’s no problem.

“This your first time on a research vessel?”

“Yes, sir. Professor Hange extended the invite a year back while I was finishing my thesis.”

“Also in the science field?”

She chuckles, “You’d be surprised, but nope. I studied film.”

Interesting.

“Thought Four-Eyes was your prof?”

She stops walking beside him and Levi turns with a confused quirk on his brow. Natalie was frozen on the spot, gaze a bit faraway.

“Four-Eyes?” she echoes.

Oh, right. “Hange.”

“Oh,” she clears her throat, shaking herself out of her daze. “Yes, she was my gen-ed prof for Natural Science in my first year. We’ve kept in touch.”

Levi hums in acknowledgement. They take a left turn, and he’s dreading the fact that he needs to bid her goodnight soon, even though she’d be in the same ship for the next few months.

“So, why are you here?” he asks, watching her from the corner of his eyes. “Thought film grads would be off to chase careers in blockbuster movies or something.”

She lights up, and briefly, it reminds Levi the very first time they talked about why she joined the Survey Corps in the first place.

“My final thesis was on scientific documentaries. That’s why Professor Hange and I are still regularly in contact. She offered me a spot in the documentation team,” she expounds. “It’s what I want to specialize in.”

“You chose a dangerous career path,” Levi looks at her, trying to convey how serious he is with his slanted greys. “It’s not all discovery and fun out here, you know?”

Certainly not as dangerous as facing man-eating 12-feet monsters, but the deep ocean can be unforgiving. They’d lost a couple of men and women the last few years—both crew and explorers—on the quest to understand more about the world.

Natalie nods, “I’m aware, sir. I just thought that if I’m to devote my life to something, telling stories of the undiscovered is a good place to start.”

I devoted my life to the Scouts because if I’m to die, might as well do it helping humanity.

Levi swallows. It really is her.

“Nervous?”

The corner of her lip tugs up. “I hear the captain’s great at what he does though.”

He snorts, “Yeah, he damn better be or all the 62 lives aboard are good as shark food.”

Their conversation lulls after she gives a chuckle at his quip. Perfect timing too, as they’d already reached her quarters. Levi was almost hesitant to leave her, because that’s when shit usually starts to go sour. He’d just turn his back for a second, leave for the night, and next thing he knows, she’s dead.

“It was lovely getting to know you more tonight, Captain,” she tells him with a soft smile. “Merry Christmas, sir.”

It’s the first Christmas they were truly able to spend together.

“Yeah, same… Merry Christmas,” Levi awkwardly greets back. Briefly, he finds himself wondering if he’ll be seeing a lot of her in the coming days.

He steps aside and reaches out to open the door for her—

The same time her hand reaches for the doorknob.

She gasps the moment her skin met his, and Levi feels the usual—never-ending—pang of longing. The memories of each of her death flashing, with her very first one the most vivid of them all. For a second, Levi feels the loss yet again, the hollowness fresh in his chest the more he stared down at her dead eyes and bent spine.

But Petra’s alive. She’s here, right now.

And she’s looking up at him with full recognition in her ambers.

She draws her hand away from the doorknob to intertwine her fingers with his instead, and his throat hitches.

“Hey…” she whispers, her other hand reaching up to cup the side of his jaw.

“Hey.”

Levi lets go, allowing his arms to encircle her waist. He’d always crossed paths with her in the previous times they were together, but it was never fully Petra. She never remembered him, and it’s not like he also wanted her to after how she was brutally killed.

For the first time in lifetimes, he feels his eyes start to water—the toll of their shared previous lives together culminating in this single moment. He’d always felt lonely through his life, and the brief moments he’d had with the previous reincarnations of Petra had always lit up his days, until she’d always been brutally taken away.