#riptide.100

There is nothing but focus in Xiao’s eyes and you see his mind running through the steps like clockwork. Despite having cooked for years, he still has the look as if it’s the very plate that’ll decide if he’ll have your hand in marriage. Your parents had only approved of him when he’d met their expectations with the family dishes. 

Not wanting to disrupt Xiao’s focus, you tend to the pots of boiling soup and serve the ready dishes. The aroma of soup rises out of its pot and the smell propels you to ask Xiao to cook you today. Seeing his deep concentration, you decide to ask a little later.

As you scoop up the soup into bowls, he becomes aware of your presence and calls out your name. You scoot over to his side and he gestures toward two glasses of water on the table behind him. 

“The full one is yours. You should drink some before you attend to the customers again.”

It’s only then you realise how dry your mouth is and how parched your lips are. You chug half of the water down and thank Xiao, giving his shoulder a brief squeeze.

Most customers understand that there are only the two of you working at the store. They show you patience and they are understanding when their dish takes a long time. However, like any food establishment, there’ll be troublesome customers. You don’t know which archon you’ve offended when one decides to walk in during one of your busiest periods of the year. 

You can only tell that he’s not Liyue-ian from his accent when he speaks. Every 2 minutes or so, he asks if his dish is ready. It’s not even 10 minutes when he hollers for you to attend to him.

“Why isn’t my dish ready?”

You didn’t help your parents with the store since young to cower at an unreasonable customer.

“I’m sorry, sir. We have many customers today so your dish may take longer than expected. It will be ready soon, thank you for waiting.”

“Then you guys just have to work faster! I can’t believe I’m kept waiting for so long. If it isn’t ready in another minute, I demand a free plate of matsutake meat rolls.”

The matsutake meat roll is the most expensive dish on your menu and this man just took advantage of the peak hour. Contempt brews in your chest and you realise that your eyes have given you away when the man starts yelling again. The other customers fall silent when he starts throwing insults at the store.

A hand squeezes your shoulders. You don’t have to look back to know who it is. When you hear a snarl in Xiao’s voice, chills run down your back.

“Leave.”

Under Xiao’s piercing gaze, the man zips his mouth shut. He scrambles to take his bag and stumbles on his way out. 

The store quickly returns to its normal rhythm when Xiao starts walking back into the kitchen without a word. The chatter of the customers starts and the accidental clinks of cutlery fill the room. 

-

It’s still fairly early in the night. You see children run past the shop through the windows. Lanterns remain brightly lit and some of its rays spill through into the window. 

You flip the sign, letting the word ‘CLOSED’ do its work of repelling customers. The shop has run out of ingredients for the day and it fills you with dissatisfaction that you didn't have the opportunity to ask for a meal from Xiao. Especially when you needed it the most today.

From the kitchen, he says, “[name], sit down at a table.”

You drag your feet and plop down on a chair, arms hanging down your sides. Xiao brings out a plate of piping hot matsutake meat rolls and another of stir-fry shrimp. Your heart soars as you watch him enter the kitchen again to bring out cutlery and two bowls of rice. 

When he sets down the rice on the table, he gives your head a pat. The entire time, your eyes remain glued on him as immeasurable warmth bubbles in your heart. 

You barrel into him and embrace him in a hug before he could sit down. Arms still around him, you tilt your chin upwards to meet his surprised eyes.

A smile spreads on your lips and all you utter is “I love you.” 

Light from the lanterns outside illuminates Xiao’s flushed face in the dim room.

Noticing the hints of redness, you release Xiao from the embrace to let out a hearty laugh with your hand resting on your stomach. “I can’t believe you still get flustered when I tell you I love you.”

He plops himself down on the chair and shoves a spoonful of rice into his mouth. After he swallows it, he retorts, “Eat.”

“Alright, alright.”

Xiao picks up a piece of matsutake meat roll and settles it atop your untouched rice. It says “I love you too” on behalf of him.

For the first time, Kaeya manages to be by your side for your last moments. Blood thickens, overflows in his hand as he cradles your head and your breaths become shallower. The raindrops from the downpour carry the crimson away, but your skin becomes increasingly pale as they do.

With whatever strength you have left, you grip his hand that’s clasped around his vision. You plead with him not to do what he was about to do.

Tears begin to well upon your eyes when he pries your hand away. When he removes his hand from his vision to cup your jaw, you see imprints of the metal in his hands. Kaeya presses a feather-light kiss to your eyes, then your cheek, then finally your lips; and you struggle to reciprocate.

Against your lips, with steel in his voice, he swears, “Time again and time to pass, I'll come back for you. Always.”

-

Kaeya’s eyes jerk open. He’s sitting in his office, the dazzling sunlight blazing in through its glass windows. The documents are sprawled out just as he remembers them – your application form in front of him, at the very top of the pile.

It should be about time for you to walk into his office. He takes a deep breath and runs through his plan in his mind again.

The door clicks open and Kaeya resumes back into his ever-popular, amicable persona.

He watches as you arrive to stand before his desk and you bow. “Good morning, Sir Kaeya. I am [name], the newly appointed vice-cavalry captain. I will do my best under your service.”

“Pleased to meet you, [name].”

In his heart, he’s relieved it’s the same familiar touch when you shake his hand. He only pulls away when you do.

He takes a seat and props himself up with both his elbows, his fingers intertwining with each other.

“[name], I’m stationing you at Dragonspine with Albedo.”

Confusion crosses your face and you stay silent for a while.

“Sir, please excuse me if this is rude but… Wouldn’t it be more appropriate if I follow you instead? It is my responsibility as the vice-cavalry captain to provide close assistance in your duties.”

Kaeya chuckles, “The Grandmaster has already taken everyone in the Cavalry unit for an expedition. Leave for all but those around Dragonspine, my duties are of no extraordinary note and require no assistance. Besides, it’d be beneficial for you to become a little more familiar with Dragonspine. Albedo’s laboratory has been raided recently too, so I believe he’d appreciate a little extra security .”

“But-”

He stands up and leans into you, his index finger hovering above your lips. “Hush, I’ll train you when the time comes. I’ll come by often to check on your work and progress. Let's head to Dragonspine.”

You open your mouth to protest, but Kaeya walks out of the room without looking back. On the way to Albedo’s lab, Kaeya makes light conversation, asking you about trivial things such as your family. He asks about things he already knew from the previous time loops, careful not to let anything slip.

When you arrive at Albedo’s lab, Kaeya gives Albedo the same explanation as he did to you. He searches Albedo’s face for any sign of knowing. Albedo keeps his eyes on his vials, sparing both of you only a glance. Good, he hasn’t caught wind of Kaeya’s plans yet.

Once all arrangements have been made known and settled, Kaeya takes his leave. When he does, the sensation in one of his hands dulls. He faintly sees the pure white of the snow on the ground through his hand. In the next moment, he can’t and the feeling in his hand returns.

-

Kaeya visits you at least once every week. The looks that you cast Albedo’s way don’t escape him – saccharine honey that drips from your iris, brimming at the edge of your eyes. Its sweetness is made even more palpable as you gaze at Albedo while he’s focused on his experiments…

… The same gaze you’ve given him countless times in the past, and all he felt back then was an overflowing waterfall of love. Seeing that it’s for someone else, makes his stomach churn as if he had too much. Sickeningly sweet.

“Do you fancy the chief alchemist?”

You get frantic and wave your hands in denial. Kaeya forces out a laugh. “I see that your type is calm, collected and incredibly talented.”

You continue trying to refute Kaeya’s claim. He leans into your face, his breath fanning your cheek. With a lowered voice, he asks, “What about me?”

Kaeya searches your eyes. There’s panic and your mind is fumbling for what should be the correct answer.

He retreats backwards. “Hmm, since you can’t give me an answer, how about you fulfil a request for me?”

“I’m sorry, Sir Kaeya. Please, let me know. I’ll do anything.”

Anything, huh?

“Stop calling me ‘Sir’. Just ‘Kaeya’ will do.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Anything, isn’t it, sweetheart?”

After all, he can’t accept you calling him that when you call Albedo by his name.

-

As time passes, Kaeya visits you less. His hands flicker like a flame on a candle more often than he likes, the translucent quality creeping up his arm.

Kaeya doesn’t realise that his vision has been too either. He only does when Albedo points it out after Albedo asks you to help him to collect some starsilver (in which you oblige with great enthusiasm).

“Kaeya, your vision’s flickering again.”

He unfastens his vision from his belt and inspects it. The glow in his vision stops flickering when he brings it close to his eye. The turquoise blue looks faintly duller to him.

Kaeya just laughs, dismissing it with an excuse he pulls out of thin air.

The silence almost settles like dust until Albedo says, “You’ve done something with time, right?”

He says it as if he’s testing his hypothesis, yet Kaeya hears it having a thin layer of disbelief.

Albedo continues, “I’m not one to trust dreams, but I’ve been having dreams… that make sense. I’ve been going along with my day and it's as if things are supposed to be another way.”

Kaeya keeps his eyes on Albedo’s back, staying silent until Albedo tears his eyes away from his concoctions.

All Kaeya gives Albedo is a confident smile. Silence gets its opportunity to settle and rest atop their shoulders with weight. Albedo sighs in defeat and tells Kaeya to let him know if he ever needs anything.

“Take care of [name] for me, will you?”

When he stands up to leave, you return to Albedo’s lab. Kaeya gives you an amicable hello but he doesn’t wait for your response.

Confident that you’ve taken your eyes off his retreating back, he slows his pace. Your laughter is muffled, but the elation that he hears is crisp. It rings and echoes, even though there’s a valley right beside which should have swallowed the sound up.

-

You’re not sure how long Kaeya has resigned from the Knights of Favonius. Some guilt weighs down on your heart. You’ve been too preoccupied with the object of your affections to notice that your superior has resigned.

Even though he doesn’t know the reason, the alchemist reassures you not to blame yourself.

“Perhaps you should visit him?” Albedo suggests.

“Is there anything you need me to do?”

Albedo shakes his head and tells you to run along to Kaeya’s place.

There’s no response when you knock on Kaeya’s door. You turn the doorknob to find it unlocked, muttering an ‘excuse me’ when you enter.

He lies sprawled out on his bed, his limbs peeking out from underneath his blanket. Sunlight filters through the window, and you think that it seems to filter through his skin too. You realise you’re not being delusional when you approach him.

“Kaeya! Is there anything I can do for you?”

You don’t wait for him to respond and you’re about to leave, but he grabs your hand. His hand is almost crystal clear and a wave of worry overcomes you. Without letting go of your hand, Kaeya shakes his hand and says, “I’ll be happy as long as I can see you.”

There’s a bittersweet undertone that you don’t miss and you want to ask him to explain the situation to you. But your thoughts are all in a jumble and nothing comes out of your mouth.

He gestures for you to lean down to him and you do. His trembling lips press against yours. You close your eyes and kiss him back. In that fleeting moment, you forgot about the alchemist that resided in your heart. At that moment, Kaeya saunters into your heart and makes himself comfortable. It's as if he’s been there before.

You feel Kaeya trying to sit up and you help him up without pulling away. His hand slides up your chin, settling his hand behind your ear. One of your hands lies atop of his chest and the other has its fingers tangled in his navy blue hair.

Memories you don’t remember flood into your mind.

Under the stars, he said he would rip out all the stars in the sky for you. At dusk, he said one day he’ll steal a horse from the stables and he’ll ride into the horizon with you. In the comfort of your bed, he promises he’ll tell you his secret and about the weight of a forgotten world he’s carrying.

When you stop feeling his lips on yours, you open your eyes and fall forward onto the bed. He’s gone. There’s no sign of him when you do a quick sweep of the room. You hurl all the doors in his house open. The doors tremble and shiver when they hit against the wall, but with decreasing power, as you make your way towards the last room. What or who you’re looking for and why you’re slamming doors open start to trickle like water out of a palm.

You try to grasp at them, but it is all in vain. Soon enough, you don’t know why you’re standing by a vacant bed with a lonely, dead vision lying on it.

You don’t know that you saw the last of Kaeya. Only the time that swept him away with its waves knows that he loved you. But time only moves forward, it doesn’t stop for anyone. All you can comprehend by standing alone in the empty room is that something wrenches your heart and it feels more empty than you could ever understand why.

Havoc runs underneath your feet in the form of rumbling as you climb up the hill towards the Golden House. The unconscious bodies of the Millelith line haphazardly outside and they do nothing to quell your worry. Screams loaded with fear cut through the thick air, causing you to quicken your pace.

You burst through the wide-open door into the brilliant gold room. Purple sparks fly against the twinkling gold rays of Mora. Childe hovers in the eye of the storm. Aether’s body lies still at the edge of the chaos, with Keqing, Ganyu and the meagre numbers that remained of the Millelith flanking Childe from all sides. Yet, with every attempt to approach him, he would blink away to the other end of the room.

When you call out Childe’s name, he doesn’t even spare a glance your way. You’re clueless on what warranted this from him – this was nothing like him at all. You take a few steps towards him, getting a closer look at him.

Cuts on the armour blanket his body, blood brimming on its edges and spilling over. A stubborn arrow lodges in one of his forearms, crimson red trickling out. He swings his arm and sends a soldier flying as if the arrow only inflicted an ant bite. Blood outlines his jaw and drips down his chin. Catch a glimpse of his eyes from the sides of the mask when he turns his head away, you see is the bottom of the ocean where light has no reach.

Keqing cautions you to stand back, but you pay her no heed, taking a few more steps closer to him. You call his name again. He releases another ray of purple electricity towards Ganyu and she dodges it by a hair.

There’s a voice in your head that warns you that you'll anger him by using his real name in front of others; but the dire circumstances before you have pushed you to the edge of your composure.

“Ajax!”

Childe’s raised hand halts in midair and he turns his gaze to your direction. A crimson red instead of purple glow in the orb embedded in the mask. It flickers between the two colours.

Your name comes out from his mouth muffled and broken up like an unstable connection. The hand that hovers in midair starts to quiver, moving towards the mask. The flickering of the eye of the mask intensifies. The red abruptly takes its place again, his hand dropping to his side as if he’s done a reset of himself.

You realise there’s something about Childe’s Foul Legacy form that even he himself has failed to realise. Something grave that has led to the consequences in play at this moment.

Your mind starts racing. The puddles of crimson on the ground below Childe tell you they’ve been battling for quite a while. Concern starts seeping and piling into your heart – you don’t know how long more Childe's body can last.

From the corner of your eye, Keqing charges up her sword that glows a vibrant purple. You step in her path. She pulls back and her amethyst eyes widen at something behind you. You dodge Childe’s attack, his clawed hand scraping your arm.

He gets persistent in his attacks and you dodge all of them by a hair. You realise that who – or what’s – controlling Childe has deemed you a threat to be eliminated.

From the corner of your eyes, you see the others striking him. Bringing their sword down on him, throwing spears and firing arrows. You plead for Keqing and her troops to stand back, tone teetering on the edge of a demand.

You almost fail to dodge yet another attack. You notice Childe’s hand wobbling as it nears his face again. The red flickers to purple and back again. A puzzle piece clicks in your head.

When Keqing runs towards him for an attack, you parry her sword.

“Please! Stop! I know how to end this, so please help me!”

You turn your head in Ganyu’s direction, entreating her, “Ganyu, please, shoot his mask!”

She shoots a glance at Keqing beside you, hesitant to follow your request. It’s only seconds but to you, it was precious time ticking away before Ganyu aims her bow at him at Keqing’s nod.

You don’t ask for Keqing to help, but she dashes up behind. She supports you as you fend off Childe’s attacks from others and yourselves.

To keep his attention on you, you yell his name and insult his attire (which in reality, you think is neat but the ends justify the means, so you lie). His attacks become less thought through and he starts to look like he’s only flailing about. Cracks start to spread around the mask, about to shatter. Everything goes on until he realises that Ganyu has become the biggest threat.

Before any of you could stop him, he discharges a ray of electricity towards Ganyu. She narrowly dodges it but breaks her arm in the process. You blink and he’s already towering over her with a raised hand that grips a violet spear wrapped in sparks.

Ganyu scrambles up and dodges the waves of his spear. You urge her to run over to you. Childe’s attention turns in your direction. He thrusts the spear towards you.

You leap towards him, reaching out for the mask with cracks that run across it. Ganyu passes you and the spear impales your torso. The pain paralyses you and you almost black out, but you remind yourself of your conviction. Mustering a last burst of remaining strength, you claw against the mask. Your fingertip brushes the tip of his mask and it breaks in half.

The sight of a familiar ocean blue eases the immense anxiety in your chest. At the sight of his widening eyes, you forget the pain for a brief moment and cup his face in one palm, leaning in towards him. The next moment, the spear fades and you drop to the ground. Childe catches you but his hold on you is weak. His knees buckle and he kneels on the ground with you lying in his arms.

His eyes do a sweep of the surroundings. The Millelith help their injured comrades out of the Golden House. Keqing’s authoritative voice thunders through the gilded chamber, desperately ordering her troops to request help for you. When he looks at the gaping wound on your torso, his eyes widen.

“[name]... [name]... I’m sorry.”

He chokes on his apology and tears brim in his eyes. A few teardrops trickle down his cheek and drip on your closed eyes. Your eyelids twitch and it opens, half-lidded.

With a shaking hand, you outstretch your hand to cup his cheek again. You tug at the little amount of skin that you’ve pinched. It’s always been the silent way both of you ask for a kiss.

“Ajax, I’m sorry too.”

Childe shakes his head before his lips only brush against yours. He yanks his jacket off and applies pressure to your wound. The blood soaks his jacket through within a matter of moments.

You sputter out a laugh, quipping, “I’m glad I chose to love a hot man.”

“Stop joking, [name].”

Everyone sees the panic in his eyes. The notoriously fearless harbinger has quivering lips and a face that screams about the cruel deed he’s done to you. He remains motionless while staring at your face. The sight of this extraordinary scene unsettles everyone before it, including the ever-rational Keqing, who’s trying to keep her composure. Childe hears her race to the entrance, questioning with impatience as to when medical help would be arriving.

In a hushed tone, you ask with the same half-lidded eyes, “Ajax… Are you there? I can’t see you.”

Childe chokes on his own breath, opting to hum as a response while he tries to hold back a barrage of tears. His hand that cradles your head tightens and he kisses the crown of your head.

“I’m… here.”

He pecks your lips, repeating his previous words when he speaks against your lips. Your eyes flutter shut, and it’s not long when he feels your body still.

Every part of Childe’s body aches, but nothing more so than the heart pounding in his chest. He leans down and brushes his lips against yours. His thumb rubs circles on your scalp as if in a forest searching for signs of life. He breaks away but not long later, he presses another kiss, his hand pushing your head towards him.

You will wake up. Just like in those fairytales where true love’s kiss brings characters doomed to slumber back to the waking world like a magic spell. He wants to believe such magic exists. He has to. He has to… If not… If not..

Doubt is the downfall of any endeavour of chance. That day, he learns that truth the hard way. (And he even doubts that he was your true love).

“It didn’t have to be this… lavish. It’s not going to be believable to people if we break off after something like this, and I don’t even think Aether is following us?”

You sneak a glance over your shoulder. But with the crowds of people following behind you, it was as if you never checked.

“Don’t worry about it, [name]. Just take this as thanks and I’ll manage whatever comes after.”

He gives a reassuring smile for a second and in the next second, he cheers like a little kid, pointing at the roller coaster ride in the distance.

It takes all of you to remain indifferent in the face of his smile.

You were at your locker when someone swung an arm over your shoulder. “Hey, [name].”

You stiffened up. Childe was in the same classes as you, but beyond the occasional banter and waves in the corridor (that you’re pretty sure he does with everyone), you had no idea what warranted this overly-friendly gesture.

In a hushed voice and a tone of desperation, he pleaded, “Please, play along with me.”

He briefly glances to his left and you see a blond boy, Aether, frozen at the turning of the hallway. His expression shifted and he stomped off.

Childe’s arm still slung on your shoulders, you wiggled out of his hold. Without you asking, he explained that he had rejected Aether but he was annoyingly persistent. You thought it was odd because you knew Aether to be prim and proper, but you never knew him personally anyway. Not as personally as Childe.

“Alright, I’ll help you until he backs off. But first, I’m gonna draw some boundaries.”

“No kissing.”

“Of course I’m not going to kiss you!”

“Just in case! I’ll never know if you get driven into a corner and rob my first kiss.”

“And we only hold hands in school. Outside of school, no.”

“What? What if we see other people outside of school?”

“Then we’ll do it for a while until they get out of our radar.”

Both of you start with those, adding rules along the way.

(Of course, there is the unspoken never to fall in love with each other.)

You chide yourself internally for breaking the unspoken rule for the nth time. If you could, you would go back in time and prevent whatever that incident was that made you catch feelings for him.

But WHEN did you break the rule? Was it when he beat up that group of boys who were disturbing you at the park? Or was it when the two of you had a snowball fight in the light snow and you fell atop of him, your lips a few centimetres away from his? No, it was when he stayed up all night on the phone with you when you were upset, right?

“[name]? You look pretty lost in your world.”

Oh, those ocean blue eyes that steal the thunder of the vibrant whirl of colours in the amusement park.

“Oh, no nothing. I…” Your eyes dart around, in search of an excuse to pluck out of thin air.

“You can tell me you’re nervous to ride the roller coaster,” he says as he gestures towards the sharp dip in the tracks and pats his arm, “My arm’s here for you.”

“As if I need it.”

He banters with you often, but sometimes you can’t help seeing a flirty glint in his eye.

(Spoiler, both of you were terrified on the ride and clung to each other.)

He whips out his phone from his pocket and you suppress a frown. Throughout this whole fake relationship, he often takes his phone out and frantically sends messages to someone. You tell yourself he’s sick of pretending to be in a relationship with you and lamenting about it to a friend. Maybe Zhongli?

But a nagging voice at the back of your head tells you he’s talking to a person he actually likes.

You suggest for him to take a photo in the queue, so he would have something to post at the end of the day (and take his attention from his phone).

Both of you head to lunch after a few rides and you see the eateries flooded with people. The thought of having to fight for seats, queue and pay for an over-priced meal dampened your spirit.

Childe leads you to a bench and urges you to take a seat on the bench when you stand up long enough in confusion. He pulls out two boxes of homemade food from his bag and passes you a box.

“You made this for me?”

Expecting an “I made too much for myself so I thought I would prepare some for you using the leftovers”, you looked away to open the box and begin eating.

But he gives a short affirmation that hangs awkwardly in the air. The chatters of other visitors and the screams of children fill the silence between the two of you. You do nothing to fill it (neither does he) and you refuse to make eye contact with him until he takes his phone out again.

After hours of running around the park and basking in his laughter, you tug Childe towards the ice cream stand. Childe lists off your favourite flavours before you could take your order. He shoots you a satisfying smile when he sees your expression, knowing he got the mark. You realise you don’t remember his favourite flavours and you feel a pang of guilt (but not that it’ll matter).

A family of three comes up to him, seeking his help for directions. He pores over the map with them and offers to guide them to the attraction. As he walks off, the elderly ice-cream lady teases you, “Is that your boyfriend?”

Was he? Technically he is, but technically he wasn’t.

You blurt out a ‘no’. She sighs and continues as she passes you two cones, “Ah, that’s a pity… There’s that slight sparkle in his eyes when he looks at you.”

Your mind blanks out. You utter a thank you and quickly take your leave.

You start on your ice cream first, but do not pay attention to the taste with the what-ifs that run through your mind.

Not long later, Childe jogs back to you. He wraps a hand around yours to take a curious lick at the top scoop (and you lock your screams in your heart). As he takes the ice cream from you, his eyebrows perk up. He puts the ice cream out towards you, offering you a bite.

You remind yourself that all these were only for show and you unknowingly clench your jaw. Everything that you’ve done would just be poorly captured by a photo and reduced to a tool on social media. Even your family has been duped into thinking he was such a charming young man who was head over heels for you. It’s all just for show, so why did he want to make you so immersed in this performance of his too?

You shake your head and walk off without a word.

“Can I have a bite of your scoop?”

You shake your head, your eyes fixated on the path in front of you.

Seeing the orange hue starting to seep into the sky, you look at your watch. You were so much closer to the end of the day.

“[name], are you okay?”

You hate how childish you were acting and you mustered up a smile. For the first (and the last) time, you take Childe’s hand of your own will and lead him to the event area.

“Let’s go get a good spot for the fireworks.”

~

“Are you not going to take a photo?”

“No. Let’s just… keep this moment between the two of us and not turn it into something that corroborates this stupid act.”

“[Name], what’s wrong? You’ve been acting weird since we got the ice cream and you’ve been looking at your watch a lot. Are you unwell?”

You shake your head, keeping your eyes trained on the sky. You’re scared he will decipher your thoughts and true emotions from your face.

“Look at me.”

You don’t budge and a hint of desperation creeps into his voice.

“You’re holding my hand really tightly, I’m worried. Look at me, please?”

He places a finger on the opposite side of your jaw and tilts your head towards him. While no one takes notice of the two of you, heat rushes into your face when Childe does this.

“Archons, stop looking elsewhere. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m sorry, I-”

The fireworks go off and you take your eyes away from Childe for a brief moment. When you turn back, you find him looking intently at you.

It could be the reflection from the fireworks, but you think you see sparks flicker in his eyes. The ice cream lady lied, it wasn’t just a slight sparkle. The words fall out of your mouth before you can catch yourself, “I want you to kiss me.”

You clamp your hand over your mouth and turn away from him. Your entire body screams at you to run and you do. You will never to look him in the eye ever again. Oh, he must be so horrified.

But a part of you wished you stood your ground and faced him, for him to reject you like how he rejected Aether. Then you’ll move on.

You only run a short distance before you stop. You do want him to reject you the way he rejected Aether, then you’ll move on like you planned.

Though there’s a whisper of hope in your mind that it was never one-sided.

Another wave of fireworks set off and you see a familiar silhouette on the ground, the running figure coming to a stop behind you.

You gather whatever dignity and courage you have left and abruptly turn to face him, to see the ocean blue eyes you adored so much look at you with raging desire.

“Are you sure? If I kiss you once, it’ll make me want a hundred more.”

Oh, so the sparks are real. You nod and he places his hands on your shoulder before closing in for a kiss. It was feather-light but you know he is reigning back his hunger, and you can’t help but think he’s liked you all this while (or possibly, even before that).

“I’ll give you a thousand more. On one condition.”

“Hm?”

“Date me. For real.”

“I’ve always wanted to.”

A thousand more is a deal sealed with one.

Extra:

“If you don’t mind me asking, who have you been texting?”

“Oh, jealous, are you?”

His tone of amusement still makes you jab his arm.

“It’s Aether.”

“What?”

He shows you his screen, which has Aether screeching in caps in a group chat with Zhongli. You can see his frustration at Childe for the terrible flirt he is for the past months, especially with Aether’s texts.

DID YOU REALLY JUST FALL ATOP OF HER AND PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED??

OH, got ballsy today trying to protect her from other guys? You should have just confessed, it’s PAINFUL watching you.

YOU CAN’T EVEN CALL THAT A PICK-UP LINE. PLEASE NEVER TRY THAT AGAIN.

FINALLY!! CHILDE!! THE ONE GOOD THING YOU DID!! I’M GLAD MY SACRIFICE PAID OFF

It hits you that the plan has always been to get you to fall for him and you had played right into their plans.

But you don’t wish otherwise.

a/n: I know I said I'll only work on requests after my exams but I had an idea and I was too eager to start on it so I was doing it during my free time.

Hi anon! Thank you for requesting! I don't know if I've gotten kicked out of everyone's dashes but I hope you're seeing this and that you like this!

Childe carefully moves your head from his forearm to the grass. He yanks his jacket off and drapes it over the wound on your torso to cover it from the rain.

With a weak voice, you quip, “Wow, you’re so hot, especially with that drenched hair of yours.”

The drizzle starts to become heavier. There’s a tinge of annoyance in his voice.

“Cut it out.”

He helps you up onto his back, afraid to move whenever you wince.

You force out a laugh, making jabs at him, “Seeing fear all over the eleventh harbinger’s face is a once in a lifetime sight to behold.”

“Archons, [name], enough!”

It’s a downpour at this point but the rain doesn’t hide the distress that his voice contains. You finally desert the forced smirk on your face.

You reach up to his face but his hand squeezes it before your fingertips touch his cheek. He lifts you onto his back. He doesn’t let go until you’re fully on his back.

He stands up and commits the mistake of looking back behind him. A patch of grass stained red where you lay churns his stomach and turns it upside down. He runs.

Mount Aocang is a distance from Liyue Harbour and while he’s usually cocky about his abilities, his confidence wavers. He doesn’t think he can make it there in time.

“Childe.”

With the blood that trickles down his bare back, he knows where this is going.

“Ajax.”

He bites the inside of his cheek.

“Don’t talk. It’ll worsen the injury.”

The water droplet pelts his eyes and he curses under his breath. You take a deep inhale. “Ajax, please don’t blame yourself. No one saw that coming.”

After a moment of silence, you say, “I love you and g-”

Your words reach him even before it falls off your lips. He snaps, voice a little loud, “Please. I don’t want to hear any of it.”

It startles you, but it doesn’t do much to drive away the temptation of closing your eyes. He apologises to you, choking on the last syllable of his ‘I’m sorry’.

The rhythmic movement of your breathing against his back becomes faint elicits anxiety from him.

“[name]?”

Taking his eyes off the path ahead, he turns to see your eyes flutter open. You give an almost inaudible hum. He almost slips on a puddle and he clenches his jaw.

He contemplates whether or not he should tell you all that he ever wanted to say to you. That he should have been warier of the hilichurls while he was clearing the camp. That he thought that he never deserved love, yet the blood on his hands never stopped you from giving him all that you could. That you are the brightest star he’s ever seen since he fell into the abyss.

But he bites back his words. Saying them would be equal to admitting defeat. If you couldn’t hear it in this life, then he’d carry the words to his next.

Instead, he repeats your name over and over with increasing loudness, even when you stop responding to him. He says it as an assurance. As a plea for help. As a prayer.

The torrential rain stops as his feet step on the wooden bridge into Liyue Harbour. You hear ragged breaths and desperate cries for help just before you black out.

You wake up to warm hands that envelope yours. Childe sleeps on the seat by the bedside. He wears a grey Liyue tangzhuang that fits him just right. Your eyes trail up his arm that was usually concealed, to his faintly red, tear-stained face.

Herbalist Gui walks into the room with some medicine and makes his way to your bedside. He keeps his voice hushed not to wake Childe as he gives you a rundown of your condition. You shoot glances at your boyfriend, expecting the light sleeper to awaken.

But Childe doesn’t and Herbalist Gui catches on your worry.

“He’s having a slight fever due to the rain and exhaustion. He sat outside the operating room and refused to budge when we told him to take a shower and get changed. When he comes to, please try to persuade him to take his meds and rest in the bed right beside yours.”

You nod and he leaves you to rest. As you are about to drift off to sleep, Childe stirs in the chair. You force your eyes to open and you squeeze his hand.

His grip on your hand loosens and one of them cups your cheek.

“Don’t you dare pull that shit ever again.”

You’re about to protest that he would protect you from danger any day, so he shouldn’t tell you not to. But he doesn’t let you continue.

“It’s not time for us to say goodbye,” he mumbles, “Not now. Not in the near future. Not in our next lifetimes.”

“Alright, there’ll never be goodbyes between us. Only ‘see you’s.”

Both of you don’t realise that he’s been holding his breath until he lets out a long exhale. You get him to eat his medication and persuade him to get some proper rest. But he ends up wrapping his arms around one of yours, whining about how he doesn't want to be separated.

You think about teasing him for the big baby he is, but you spare him due to your fatigue. Without trying to aggravate your wound, you shift your body to make space for him. You pat the small space you’ve made on the bed and he climbs onto it.

Both of you shift around a little more to make some space for each other on the tiny bed meant for one. You finally settle in his arms around your body. Not long later, his breathing steadies and you figure he’s finally gone into a deep sleep.

Resting your other arm on his side, you drift off to sleep. Bodies flushed against each other, the thought parting ways distances itself from your mind. Neither of you will admit it, but a ‘see you’ would hurt all the same too.

a/n: to the anon who sent this, I'm sorry I took a while and I hope you'll see this :">

Taglist (open): @tiredzephh @rxspbrrry @almondoufu @bluexiao @yeetmeoffjueyunkarst @chichikoi @bookuya @under-a-starry-night @mikachuchu @serenenation @shxnosuke

Kazuha asked you earlier in the day if you wanted to stargaze with him. You readily agree to it, but you only find out that he didn’t ask anyone else.

While your eyes are on the stars that are sprawled above you, your mind fixates on his presence right beside you. Your heart thumps hard in your ears and you only dare to steal side glances at him.

You forget you never get away scot-free from Kazuha’s keen senses. He catches your gaze and he laughs as your eyes dart away. You think he’s moved his attention back to the sky, but you look at him again to find his maple red eyes trained on you.

You try to keep a straight face, but your stammer betrays you, “Wha- What is it?”

He says, “I’ve gotten a little tired of looking at the stars in the sky. For a change, I’d just like a little time to gaze at the stars in your eyes too.”

You pretend to be unaffected but a part of you is so sure that even the night cannot conceal the hues of red that bloom on your face.

“There aren’t stars in my eyes.”

“There are. There is a whole galaxy in your eyes. You just don’t see it.”

You cover your face and turn to your side, away from him.

He puts a hand on your shoulders. You let out an unintentional squeak and hope he doesn’t hear it (he does).

“[name], please don’t look away. There’s no need to hide your beautiful face.”

Oh, he's going to be the death of you. You detest how such flattering words could easily fall out of his pretty lips and how you always have to convince yourself not to twist its interpretation. He has a way with his words and there are just matters he talks about a lot more easily than others.

Still looking away from him, you stand up. You mumble “Don’t say things like that. It makes me think you like me.”

“But I do like you.”

You think you’re going to fall into the sea until he gently wraps his fingers around your hands. Your head spins harder, but his hand anchors you.

“You finally looked at me, huh?”

He rubs circles on the hand that he’s holding and you think you’re going to fall overboard. His mind and soul is always elsewhere and never on the ship, so why would it be on you?

You realise you might have spoken your thoughts aloud as Kazuha’s expression changes. Kazuha stands up and he puts both your hands in his.

“[name], I’ve always liked you.”

Kazuha still sees the disbelief on your face and mused, “What more shall I do to persuade you? I thought my crush on you was obvious and I believe I made it very much so tonight.”

In hindsight, maybe he was obvious. He always chose to help you out of everyone on deck. He always chose to follow you whenever you had to go on land. While the memory was hazy, you think he helped you when you had a hangover. You remember him pushing aside the hair pricking your eyes then, his fingers gently grazing across your forehead.

You just refused to believe any of it. He seemed weighed down by his friend’s death such that you never thought he’d make space for you in his weary heart.

You say with a shaky breath, “Say it again.”

He lets go of one of your hands and circles his free arm around your waist to support your trembling body.

“I like you, [name].”

“I like you too, Kazuha.”

“I know. The wind, waves and the stars told me.”

You burst out laughing, but you stop immediately and listen out for the footsteps of other crew members. When you don’t hear anyone, you settle for a fit of giggles, right in his arms.

Kazuha asked in a tender voice, “May I call you ‘my love’?”

The stars illuminate his face and you see slight red at the tip of his ears. You can’t help but feel flustered too. You nod.

Both of you lay on the blanket again. You and your lover. Your head on his arms, your fingers intertwined with his. Kazuha gazes into your eyes and you ask him to tell you what else he sees.

You soon take your leave to rest in your cabin. The name reserved for you since long ago falls off his lips with ease, right into your ears as his breath tickles them.

“Have a wonderful evening, my love.”

a/n: Sorry if this is a little on the shorter side, I still hope you'll enjoy it.

Thank you to my wonderful friend who brainrotted about this with me, ILYSM AAAAAA <3

A notification sound he set only for you goes off. Your text tells him to look up and he does. You’re the only one waiting across the road. With the falling snow, lack of other pedestrians and his hammering heart, Zhongli finds you ethereal today.

A sickening sound of rubber bounces off the buildings on both sides of the street. He watches as the car skids, ramming straight into you.

Your name falls out of his mouth. He shouts it, again and again, more desperation lacing his voice each time.

His legs stumble towards your motionless figure, blood pooling from your head. The box slips out of his coat pocket, dropping onto the road with a thud. He doesn’t realise how abnormal the loudness of the metal hitting the ground is as his eyes hyper fixate on you. He reaches his hand out towards you. Before he reaches you, he blacks out.

~

二。[TWO]

You lay in his arms, breaths ragged. A nagging voice at the back of Zhongli's head tells him that he can't save you, but he scrambles to tend to your wounds. He pulls out whatever scraps of bandages he has from his bag.

He catches your gaze trained on him. Even with the deafening rain outside the cave, he can hear the thoughts of goodbye behind those eyes of yours. He chides you to get rid of them, but there’s no bite in his words due to the hints of a shaky voice.

Glancing out of the cave now several times, he waits for the sound of a box hitting stone. In that box, he’s sure there’ll be something he can use to keep you alive. But there’s nothing and he curses internally at his useless sponsors.

You tell him that there’s no other way, that you have to die for him to win the Hunger Games. His restraint is thinning and all he wants to do now is get himself killed somehow so they’d end the Games. So they’d be able to send you to the doctors. With the advancement of their technology, he knows they can save you.

You profess your love for him. Your voice is weak at this point but it hits him all the more. He clenches his jaw, mumbling that it’s unfair. He opens his mouth to tell you that he feels the same for you, but they choke him in his throat. A small smile tugs on his lips when you tease him for still being ever so restrained. You quip between breaths that you can’t win him.

There's not much time left for you, and your paling lips say it all. He tells you that he loves you too, and he promises you that in another life, he’ll save you. When you close your eyes and heave your last breath, a fanfare blares, announcing him as the winner. The host drones on and the music becomes white noise. His lips linger on the crown of your head until he loses consciousness.

~

三。[THREE]

Zhongli sits on his throne in the grand hall, overlooking the party held for his eighteenth birthday. His hand leaves the armrest and searches for yours next to him. When he finds it, he turns to you to see a beautiful smile adorning your face. You give him a tight squeeze and let it go immediately. You don’t want rumours of him having feelings for his bodyguard going around, tainting his picture-perfect reputation.

Oh, you don’t know how much wishes he could hang your features up to admire for all eternity.

He’s knocked out of his dreamy daze when he hears a barrage of faint stomping. The wooden door of the hall falls and enemy soldiers charge into the room. A cacophony of metal rings within the room.

Even though you are the bodyguard, Zhongli is the one who grabs your hand first, leading you out by the back door.

As he walks ahead, there is an abrupt thrust on his body by yours. You let out a strangled choke and his breath catches in his throat.

The red that blooms from the arrow lodged where your heart is located rivals the red of the hall.

You fall atop of his body and you muster whatever strength you have to move yourself off. Another guard comes to your assistance and you command him to take Zhongli out of the room instead.

A bothersome feeling hangs at the back of his head that he’s going to lose you and there’s nothing he can do. The guard drags him out of the room, even as he protests. As the door gradually creaks shut, he watches you struggle to get up. You collapse to the ground again as the door comes to a complete close.

Somehow, he knows he is going to black out again. He does.

~

零。[ZERO]

Zhongli finds himself in Guili Plains in the middle of a scorching hot day. A group of treasure hoarders have set up a camp nearby a few metres away from him, but they don’t notice him.

But they notice you coming from afar and they start brandishing their weapons. He realises that it’s the day that you’re coming back from Mondstadt.

Zhongli shouts for you to leave, but he soon realises nobody can see or hear him. You are strong and he believes in you. But he can’t shake off the uneasy feeling that stirs in his chest.

You manage to fend them off, dodging their attacks. But you don’t notice one of them creeping up behind you. When you notice, the treasure hoarder swings his shovel down at you.

He wills himself to close his eyes as you let out an anguished cry.

~

Zhongli jerks awake. It’s the fourth day in a row he’s had a nightmare of you. He glances at the calendar and realises that today is the day you return from Mondstadt.

Even before the sun peeks out of the horizon, his feet hit the ground and he heads out to Guili Plains. He doesn’t bother to hide his presence from the treasure hoarders, awakening them.

Before they could comprehend what was happening in their drowsiness, he summons his weapon and thrusts it at the treasure hoarder right in front of him. They all collapse not long later. A small part of him hopes that he did not kill them.

But his anger roars above the whimper of his worry and he walks to the Stone Gate

It’s a pleasant surprise for you when you see Zhongli drinking tea at the rest area at the Stone Gate.

When you call out his name, he walks towards you. He pulls you into him and places his hand on the back of your head. He strokes your head and he’s a little guilty when he realises he’s doing this for himself.

He sighs with so much fatigue in his voice, “[name], you took up all my nights and dreams.”

It doesn’t take you long to figure out that he’s had nightmares. You wrap your arms around his torso, patting him on his back.

“It’s all over now. I am here.”

a/n: Hello Angie, I hope you enjoyed it (especially after waiting such a long time) <3 I'm sorry that I couldn't include the other AUs that you told me about. Also, this kind of feels like a better version of the other Zhongli fic I wrote ifhgskljfghdksfj. Also just in time for Zhongli's birthday hehe, Happy Birthday you handsome sir :>

Shameless plug- I have an ongoing 200 follower event here!!

Taglist: @tiredzephh @rxspbrrry @almondoufu @bluexiao @yeetmeoffjueyunkarst @chichikoi @bookuya @under-a-starry-night

You always pepper kisses all over his hands and he thinks you’re smothering the filthy blood of his victims all over your pretty lips. But when your lips touch his and all he tastes is you, he feels liberated.

He didn’t go out of his way to keep his relationship with you a secret, but his superiors don’t know about the both of you. The only other people who know are your servants. Thankfully for you, they keep their mouths shut because they want to see you smile on these tension-filled grounds.

But he knows the both of you can never be together. You do too.

You ignore it, living in your world of fragile glass with him and he does not disturb the delicate balance of the walls that protect you from the harsh reality.

As much as he wants to, he finds out that even he cannot prevent others from shattering the space you've made for yourself.

The first cracks show when both of you take a nap that afternoon. Both of you lie on your bed, with your head on his arm. You doze off, but Kazuha remains awake, feeling the unsettled air eddying around the palace.

Your servants storm in and the loud noise jerks you awake. They pant and apologise for their impertinence. Their incoherent words and furrowed eyebrows stew worry in your chest. You shift to the edge of the bed and urge them to steady their breathing first before speaking.

“Your highness… The King and Queen announced in the royal meeting that they will begin searching for suitors for your marriage.”

The world comes to a standstill. Kazuha’s eyes flicker towards you, watching you stare at the ground. A few moments later, you curtly request for your servants to leave. They do when Kazuha gives them a nod of reassurance.

He slowly shifts himself right next to you and intertwines his fingers with yours. “My love, tell me what’s on your mind.”

You don’t give him a reply for a long while.

“How could my parents make such a decision without me? I-”

You choke on your tears. Your words come out hushed and strangled, fighting against the lump that re-emerges in your throat. “I don’t want to be with anyone other than you.”

Kazuha’s chest twists. For the first time, he feels that his own two hands have no ability. He can kill anyone for you, but he cannot go against the orders of the heads of the kingdom.

For the first time, he has lost his way with his words.

You stand up from your bed, “Kazuha, I know. I’ll speak to my parents. Please just wait for me.”

He grabs your wrist, firmly shaking his head. He knows the plan you have in mind is flimsy and reckless.

“Kazuha, what are you doing?”

“Sweetheart, it’s okay. Your parents will never let you marry me and, you need someone to stay by your side…”

He masks his emotions well with a detached demeanour, but you know from the fiddling of the bandages of his hand that he’s starting to doubt his right to have you.

You fling his hands off your wrist and you dash out of your room without waiting for him to reason with you.

Over the next few days, you and Kazuha don’t meet. Whenever he visits your room, no one is around. You move from the various rooms in the palace, assessing your suitors. The green-eyed monster eats his heart out when they take your hands that were once only meant for him.

Whenever you are in your room, your servants say that you refuse to see him. Kazuha wonders if you wanted him to slip into your room despite your protests and he wants to. He does eventually.

You hear three familiar taps on the wooden door of your window and you unlock it for your intruder. You keep your back facing him as he climbs in, knowing that those crimson red eyes trained on your back will break you if you see them.

He breathes, “My love.”

You lunge towards him and wrap him with your arms as if he’s going to slip out of your grasp, balling the fabric of the back of his yukata in your hands. You bury your face into his chest. Your voice comes out muffled, but Kazuha hears it clear as day.

“Kazuha, let’s abandon everything and run away. Please?”

A sweet, sweet poisoned apple hangs in front of him.

If he takes a bite of it, both of you could run to the ends of the world, away from the prying eyes of the public. No longer the second heir of the royal family and their ninja. Just you and him. But he knows he can't give you the life that he wants to give you.

If he doesn’t, he loses you for good.

-

Kazuha walks through the streets adorned with different colours and the joy of the people fills the air. It gets crowded the further he goes into the city. He fidgets with his bandages and pulls his hood down further.

When he reaches the gates of the opened palace grounds, his heart clenches. Your arm is hooked around your new husband’s arms. He could very well reach you if he walks a few steps. It takes him everything not to.

Your husband wears gloves on his hands. Kazuha thinks out of spite that they are unnecessary because his hands are pure. It reminds him of the blood he sees so crystal clear once again.

Your other arm carries a bouquet of roses, purple lilacs and a single tulip.

Kazuha thinks back to your cries for him to whisk you away.

He doesn’t return the embrace and he pries you away from him.

“[name], please obey the King.”

Despair morphs into betrayal.

“Are you not bothered? Are you not upset?”

The truth and the lie struggle atop of Kazuha’s tongue, but neither of them fall off his lips to you. Your gazes stay locked with each other and he knows you are searching his soul. He knows he has wiped all traces of his misery when dejection crosses your face.

You say with a small voice, “Will you give me one last kiss?”

His lips find yours without hesitance. It declares his love for you, tells of his despair and asks for your forgiveness.

You pull back slightly, murmuring against his lips, “Goodbye, my dear.”

A crack runs across his heart with the rare usage of the nickname you reserved for him. He places a finger on your lips, hushing you.

“It's not time for us to say goodbye. Not yet. I will always watch over you like how the sun looks after the land. If everyone fails to be there for you, remember that I am here.”

He frees the truth from his mouth even though you won't hear it.

"Of course, my love, who wouldn’t be upset?"

a/n: HELLO L THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST!!! I've checked many times but I'm sorry if Kazuha is still ooc :">. I hope you enjoyed itttt

“You take up all my nights and dreams.”

“It’s always better to share nice experiences.”

“Every sight you see with me will look different.”

“You’ll be waiting for me to suddenly show up like today.”

“I’ll be happy as long as I can see you.”

“We will dream of holding each other in our gazes.”

“I’ll be right behind you. One step behind.”

“My heart won’t change with the passing seasons.”

“The one who swallowed up my nights and dreams have disappeared.”

“I’m afraid you’re going to disappear again like a fantasy.”

“Let me erase all the memories you left behind.”

“The sight of your back makes my heart sad and brings tears to my eyes.”

“Now’s not the time for us to say goodbye.”

“I see your face everywhere.”

“You deserve someone who values you.”

“They said my crush on you was obvious.”

“If I kiss you once it’ll only make me want a hundred more.”

“I can’t believe you still get flustered when I tell you I love you.”

“Can I hold your hand?”