Aug 28, 2019
Ripped Astrid whenever Fishlegs looks at her after chapter 8:
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Ripped Astrid whenever Fishlegs looks at her after chapter 8:
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“Theodore Roosevelt was not the Grimborn Killer, Tuff,” Astrid takes a sip of her drink when it arrives.
“Right, and his wife wasn’t the secret fourth victim of a total of eight,” Tuffnut rolls his eyes, “and hunting wasn’t an alibi. The national parks weren’t a hopeful precursor of the future where he could set up human game preserves—”
I have a dossier on ripped tuffnut and here’s its summary:
he’s the only valid person on the planet
i’d die for him
i trust no one else
So I forgot I had a serial killer in Ripped write a creepy note in Comic Sans until someone at my work used Comic Sans in a spreadsheet and my husband called him a serial killer, so I think I have to re-read Ripped to figure out how to tie up all of these loose ends. So I’m probably going to be liveblogging about it because it’s hard for me to read my own stuff.
So I guess this is a drawn out way of saying block #rippedreread if you don’t want to see it
I’m on the um, naked chapter and I have to confess...I didn’t read this after I wrote it? It took a couple false starts and then just kind of fell out of my brain and then @oh--you--pretty--things said it was good and I just fucking posted it without reading it so this is kind of my first adventure on the SS Office Desk, so wish. me. luck.
Um, excuse me Coplout, just a few chapters ago, you were complaining about Eretson helping old ladies across the street, but now in Chapter 18, Hiccup’s POV reveals that he has seen you help old ladies across the street? So what is the truth, hmm?
The truth is that he lets old ladies squeeze his biceps while he helps them use the crosswalk buttons and for some reason he wanted Astrid to think he had bad boy charisma and he’s so stupid and I’d die for him
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The Exact Moment Grisly decided Snotlout needed to fucking die:
“Right,” Hiccup’s arm lands reassuringly across her shoulders, “you probably didn’t get much from making me look at mutilated corpses all day while describing how they got that way.”
“I mean, he probably got hard,” Snotlout mumbles under his breath and Grisly’s falsely pleasant expression shatters for an instant into a wolfish glare, more starving than his usual malignant patience. “Big weekend plans?”
I’m going to fucking scream:
“Hear me out,” he pauses until she nods him along, “ok, so I think Grisly has something to do with all of this.”
“Grisly?” She frowns, “the silver fox at the precinct with the unfortunate twin kink?”
“Huh?”
“The guy in gray.” The shake of her head is pointedly disgusted in him for his lack of vision, “with the Russian accent.”
honestly my favorite part of ripped was ruffnut being like ‘well astrid is my friend so you’re my friend now ride or die bitch’ to hiccup and immediately helping him break into a building with almost no questions asked
Right??? Like fucking queen, I thought Snotlout was ride or die but then Ruffnut is like ok, breaking and entering time, let me get my fake wedding ring and grab your ass while we impersonate rich people.
The “Traffic!” got me because she literally doesn’t have an excuse or know what to say so she just shouts traffic and everyone is like oh yes, hmm, responsible young adults, traffic indeed.