If there were to be an explosion that was going to end the world, most people would say they'd get as far away from it as possible. I would run towards it. We're all going to die anyway, so why not see something awesome right before you go?
Just because we didn't love everything about him doesn't make our mourning any less legitimate. I feel confused also...and with some regret. But you truly only see 20/10 in hindsight. All I can do now is live out his memory by channeling his amazing qualities we didn't recognize enough while he was alive.













