#riorson

The clouds were hanging deep, darkening the surface of the sky like a shadow stretching its fingers towards the empty fields in front of Basgiath that would convert into fields drained of blood as soon as the Venin will arrive. The heavy air was promising the rain to fall soon. Another bad omen promises this fight to be anything but easy. You watched the sky with a clammy feeling in your chest, memorizing the faces of the friends surrounding you and preparing for what is going to come. But one particular person was missing.

The shoelaces slipped through your fingers again, and a curse escaped your lips. This was not the time to be nervous, you thought to yourself, and knotted them together—not pretty but secure. "Y/N! There you are!" Ridoc approaches you quickly. His usual smile was gone, as you noticed, which caused the unwell feeling that had been torturing you since you woke up to spread even further through your body. Your hands were slightly shaking, the air had to be forced into your lungs even though it felt like there was no space for it left, and your gut felt as if it wanted to return your breakfast to the outside.

Ridoc finally reached you and pulled you into a hug, not in the usual way. He holds you tight between his strong arms, not letting you go for a couple of moments, way longer than usual but not long enough considering the possibility that anyone could die today. He smiled at you after letting you go, not as bright as he used to, but it was the first time since you woke up today that you could at least force the tips of your lips to go up a bit. "We will make it." he promised, even if he knew as well as you did that no one could tell that for sure.

"Do you know if anyone has seen Xaden?" Every time you say his name, your heart was fluttering, reminding you of the feelings that you were too afraid to share. You searched the crowd again, but he was nowhere to be found. The place started to get empty; most of the cadets had already said their goodbyes and good lucks and were heading to their dragons. But you wanted to see him. If you had to die, then you did not want to take any regrets with you to the other side. As if Malek would care how much ballast you bring over.

Ridoc, who was looking around too and whose gaze stopped on the cadets going up to the airfield, shook his head, causing his hair to fall onto his forehead. "Imogen and Bodhi were looking for you. I came over as soon as I saw you." He turned his head in your direction, and you could determine a mixture of pity and understanding in his. The look on your face must have given you away. Screw him for being your best friend. "You wanted to tell him now?" he said with surprise. "Did you lose all your fear all of a sudden?" A laugh escaped his lips, and you punched him playfully against his shoulder. "I thought it's now or never." you said and shrugged your shoulders.

The tension fell off a bit, but Ridoc got serious again, which was not a good sign. He nodded in the direction of the path leading to the airfield. It was still crowded up there; cadets were going up one after another, and the infirmary was positioning itself on the ground. "I think we have to go. Maybe he is up there too." he said and started moving immediately. Dain would not appreciate it if they were to show up late. You will get your chance; you are not going to die. The familiar dark and calming voice of your dragon flooded your mind, reminding you that you will not be alone for a second up there.

You quickened your steps to catch up with Ridoc but had to get slower as you reached the end of the line of cadets walking up the path in front of you. Even though it seemed as if everyone was taking forever to get ready for this fight, it is now your turn to start now. The leadership provided clear instructions of the positions and starting times for each wing, and Xaden told you that your squad was going last. Your thoughts kept coming back to the previous night. Everyone was celebrating just because it could have been the last time. Everyone except Xaden, of course; he was watching from the distance as if he was expecting the fight to start right away, even though Melgren was sure that it was going to start in the morning.

You left your friends to get some fresh air, which was a lame excuse because in reality you started getting nervous yesterday already. Luckily, no one noticed, except for Xaden. He approached you, casually leaning on the wall next to you and studying you from his onyx eyes, the golden sprinkles reflecting in the dim light of the magic lights. "Getting nervous, huh?" You just shrugged your shoulders. Even though you were bonded to Tairn and therefore used to always feel Xaden's presence, you always get sweaty hands when he is right in front of you. Not because you are scared of him but because you are scared of him finding out about your real feelings, leading to ruining your friendship that you put so much work into. He made clear in the very beginning that you were not more than an obstacle for him, but you have learned really fast that he was saying that because he thought he could protect you this way.

After you made it clear that you did not need him to protect you, he still insisted that it was necessary, but he became kinder, gentle even. Always checking if you are alright, especially after you had a long day and did not "annoy him" as he insists, through your shared bond in the evenings. He also brought you chocolate cake to cheer you up when it was necessary. Now, he was standing beside the wall looking at you with something in his eyes that seemed to be the response to your feelings and your heart aching to tell him that you want to be more than his friend, but you didn't even hope that this could be true. You never saw him paying attention to anyone in this way, especially to you. You were just friends, and that was it.

"I will not promise you that everything is going to be fine." He said, getting away from the wall. His black hair was hanging on his forehead, and you noticed the muscles of his biceps moving even with so little light. He stopped right in front of you, looking you straight in the eye. Just because you are getting nervous in his presence doesn't mean you would back up, and he knows that. The heat of his body was radiating from him; you could feel how close he was to you and swallowed before you answered, because your throat got dry all of a sudden. "I know. I did not expect you to." It was true; it was pointless telling lies to each other. But Xaden wasn't finished.

"I will be there. I will be at your side and protect you." He said, his voice firm and his gaze filled with determination. He was so close to you that you could feel his breath on your cheeks. "This is what I can promise." "We will have to watch out for each other. We are fighting together, all of us. It is not your burden alone to take." You said while you concentrated to sound as determined as he does, but then he surprised you. He moved his hand forward to tuck a strand of your hair that got loose gently behind your ear. The touch was light, barely noticeable, but the heat that exploded from the place where his hand touched your skin flooded your body. He was standing so close that you feared he could hear your pounding heart. Was that it? Was this the moment when you should have told him?

Before you could do anything, it seemed as if he wanted to say something. His mouth just opened; you were ready to listen, but you got interrupted. Rhiannon and Tara stumbled outside playfully fighting with each other, asking us if we wouldn't come inside. When they noticed how close we were standing together, Tara grabbed Rhiannon by her wrist, whispering something about interrupting the two of you, and waved before they got back inside. Xaden, in the meantime, took a step back, taking the warmth of his body with him and causing you to shiver. He nodded in the direction where the girls just disappeared and raised an eyebrow, as if asking you if you want to go inside. After you did not respond immediately, he just started to move. Let's go. You will get cold. You agreed silently and followed him inside.

The whole night you kept asking yourself what he could have possibly wanted to tell you, but you had no answer to that. You even started complaining to yourself about why you had fallen in love with a man that cannot just tell you what he wants right away but hides behind his shadows and secrets instead. But then Tairn threatened you that he will tell Xaden about your feelings if you do not get to sleep. So, you went to sleep without answers. Meanwhile, Ridoc and you had reached the airfield; the earth got all muddy from the rain the past few days. Normally, Tairn would complain about getting footprints all over him, but you noticed him being distracted by a specific blue dragon. He was visible from all over the field, and you noticed Sgaeyl lingering next to him as if they did not want to be separated.

Suddenly, you got really excited. If Sgaeyl was here, then Xaden was too. You quickened your steps, desperate to talk to him, and if your feelings will remain unanswered, then you at least could die without any regrets. "Cadet Y/L." There he is! "We need to talk" You turned your head in the direction where the voice came from. He was standing there, arms crossed above his chest, his hair fell down onto his forehead again, and the wind was soothing through his hair as if someone was ruffling through it. His voice was demanding, not leaving any space for disagreement, but his eyes were soft. He looked down on you when you approached him, his shadows following your steps, forming small tendrils wherever your foot touched the ground.

"Wingleader" you stayed professional, pretending that you are not more than a wingleader and his subordinate. "I cannot do this." he sighed as if he had carried the weight of those words with him for a decade. "What?" You blinked, and the thought that you didn't catch up to something crossed your mind. "Y/N, I cannot pretend that you are just one more cadet following me into this fight, because you are not." He stepped closer and lowered his voice. "I can live with any of them not making it, but not you, do you understand? You have to make it back. You have to come back to me." You could feel the heat in your cheeks and looked at him, not knowing what to say. This was everything you wanted; this was everything that you wanted to tell him, and now you were standing there not knowing how to react to the words that you were craving so badly to hear.

The wind had loosened a strand of your hair. Xaden reached out for it and tucked it behind your ear and laid the palm of his hand against your cheek. He was watching you attentively, waiting for your reaction, when someone from the leadership shouted, giving the command to mount your dragons. Did you freeze or something? Tairn's voice was loaded with boredom he was waiting for you, lined up between the other dragons. Finally, your mind registered the meaning of his words, the soft look in his eyes, and his hand caressing your cheek, refusing to let you go as long as you don't want him to. It struck you like the lightning you wield that this man that you admired loved so much just confessed his feelings to you. You had no words to offer your body was operating on instinct. When there was again the command of the leadership, you grabbed Xaden at the collar of his flight jacket and pulled him down.

You brushed your lips against his soft and careful while he froze. It is a rare occasion that someone surprises Xaden Riorson, but you did it. When your lips touched his the second time, he responded immediately. His hand wandered from your cheek to your hair with the other, he grabbed your waist and pulled you closer, deepening the kiss. What had started sweet and innocent became demanding and passionate. When he let go of you, it was only so you could catch your breath before he occupied you again. It was not only to show you his affection for you but also to claim you as his, everyone should know that you belong to him now. You lost track of time the moment was perfect, and you refused to let it go, but command was shouting for the third time now, and the cadets surrounding you got hectic, reminding you that there is not much time left.

You pressed him away from you softly. He leaned his forehead against yours and closed his eyes while you caught your breath. "You have to come back." The urgency in his voice pushed something inside of you that filled you up with energy. The thought that this could be over before it even started made your will to fight stronger. You could already feel the urge to see him even when he was still standing right in front of you. "Be careful." you said, looking him straight in the eyes, memorizing the golden sprenkels that seemed to shine even without the sun on the surface to reflect the light in them. He huffed, "I will" Great you said through your shared bond. We will not die today.

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