#rin.exe

Pink Gamer!Hiyoko Stimboard with squishing

requested by: @swushie

This is my first time making a stimboard so I hope it’s alright! Let me know if you want anything changed.

Sprite edit is from kinningharmonies

Please dont follow if you get triggered by things like: depression, eating disorders, abuse(mental, emotional, physical, sexual), trauma etc etc.

This is a Vent Account, I dont support harmful behaviours in the slightest bit and I only have this account because this way I will probably be less self destructive since I have a place to let my thoughts go to.

I am always here to listen (if you are respectful and accept my boundaries of course)

Ray or Rin, any pronouns(afab)

17

5"2

hw+sw 199lbs/90.6kg

cw 147lbs/67kg

gw:99lbs/45kg

ugw 83lbs/38kg

relapsed in August and on a fucking plateau💀💀(going up and down between 67-69kg 😀🔫)

EDIT, DECEMBER 15TH 2021

I dont have the fucking time or energy to count calories, i dont have much apetite so i dont eat like more than 2 meals maximum a day. But since I am also not moving much bc of depression and sitting all day in school and then at home for homework and studying I dont really lose much and I am,,, yeah

i was told that me complaining and being up front about my feelings got tiring and that’s why he stopped texting me. i didn’t see it that way, i genuinely thought it was ok for me to just be vulnerable. i see though, but i know me better than i know myself and my friends know me as i know myself.

he didn’t even take the time to get to know me beyond my sad and brute exterior. i can be funny when i want to. i’m just angry that if he had spent more time with me maybe he’ll get a crack out of me. i’m frustrated that he’ll never get to see me in all my beauty despite what wounds i carry with me. truth is he never saw me for how i see me. i understand though, i come off as too much and too vulnerable. i ONLY ever complain because that’s what i hyperfixate on. i don’t do it just to complain i have genuine interest in what shit i’m thinking about. believe it or not, i am actually quite the optimist, i like seeing the good in things. i’m empathetic, too empathetic sometimes, towards rude customers who don’t understand social cues.

i like seeing the good in everything i just wish he took the time to see that in me. this frustrates me, but it won’t make me give up on finding someone. i’ll dial it back a little next time, i guess, if i must, but i will not change who i am. i make room for all the cloudiness, my judgement, my vain, and depression because that’s just a part of who i am. i learned from it, i learned how to love harder than anyone else and i’m still learning.

i once told myself that “if grief is love preserving then anger is love undeserved.” i don’t know how true that is, that is just how i feel whenever i feel frustrated about things like this. one thing you should know about me is that i have never, ever put myself down for somebody. i know i am too much, too weird, too loud, too pretentious, but that is all things i’ve learned to appreciate about myself. i do believe somebody, one day will be able to appreciate it as much as i do. i am way too vain for somebody like me, but frankly i do not give a fuck.

so he just wasn’t the one because he didn’t want to get to know me at my full scale, big deal. i have no reason to hide who i really am that’s foolish. this is all you get and if you can’t handle it you’re just not the one then. big deal.